The next morning, each group was able to sleep up until noon, which allowed Luna to get some needed rest. She and Victoria talked that night after being caught with Onew, but Luna just became too upset to bring anything relevant up. She was afraid of Victoria, honestly, because of how much she was like her mother: protective, wise, understanding, and nurturing. However, Luna just couldn’t bring up her pregnancy scare to her… she really couldn’t bring it up to anyone… she wanted to talk to someone that knows this experience already.

The f(x) girls were sleeping as well, except for Victoria and Krystal. The two were out eating lunch with some SNSD girls. Sulli was laying in bed, listening to music. Luna laid half asleep, a slight headache but nothing too serious. She really wasn’t tired, but she knew she needed her body to rest. All she could think of the moment she awoke was last night. From beginning to end, the anxiety turned to happiness turned back into anxiety. She felt like a mess once she crawled into bed, but now, she was okay… she felt content. Every now and then she thought of the possible pregnancy, wanting to get some sort of test, but each time her mind refused it for some reason, too afraid. Luna dreamt of her mother that night, holding Luna as a baby, it was nice. She felt comfort and safe, maybe once she was a mom, she’d do the same. Besides, it’s not like her real mother gave her any sort of attention.

Regardless, Luna was pretty content this afternoon, being able to just relax and think about everything now. Sulli eventually woke her up to get food, ordering some room service. She got Luna a strawberry smoothie as a surprise.

“Awe, Sulli-shi, thank you,” she cooed, saying a sip through the giant straw. Sulli nodded and began to eat. Luna eventually joined, digging into some beef stew and mixed rice.

“So, Vic umma has been quiet today,” Sulli spoke out of the blue, “Do you know if she’s okay?”

Luna sighed, cautious of her words. “Well, she’s a little mad at me.”

“Why, unnie? She told me you were just out late last night.”

Luna blinked, surprised. “Oh. Well, yeah… I didn’t… I didn’t think you’d know.” Luna thanked Victoria silently for not mentioning Onew to the others. They continued to eat, quiet for a few moments. There was a quick knock on the door, some muffling. Luna and Sulli put their plates on a countertop, both directing themselves towards the door. They opened it to find Taemin and Jonghyun with an adorable little puppy.

“Omo! So cuuute!” Sulli gushed, bending down to the dog’s level. Both of the girls pet the cute dachshund, excited.

“What’s its name?” Luna asked sweetly, smiling at the dog as he her hand.

“His name’s Roo,” Jonghyun responded, smiling.

“Awwwe!” The girls said in unison, watching the puppy play with its collar.

“Hey, we were wondering if you two wanted to join us to go somewhere today,” Taemin said cheerfully, looking at Luna.

“Oh, of course!” She chirped, leveling herself back up to the boys. Sulli nodded in agreement, running to go get their purses. “Where are we going exactly?”

“I’m not sure, Onew hyung is asleep so, why not hang out with Luna?” Taemin reached for her hand, making her blush.

“Aw, how sweet,” Jonghyun joked, making the two laugh.

Sulli came back with a small bag and Luna’s wallet. “Why don’t we go around the city?” The three nodded, walking the dog outside of the lobby and into the city streets.

Onew slowly opened his eyes to the bright sunshine, shivering from the cold. It was a cold winter day today, about a week until the New Year. He thought about the weather recently, and other things. Today there was no snow, but ice spread across the city streets. He looked through the sheer curtains in his hotel room, watching people drive by, walk across, or stroll through the city. His hair was a little messy from last night, making him look like a child who just woke up from a nap. He sniffed and rubbed his nose like one, turning away from the curtains. He was a little tired, but not too much. He smelled like sweat, memories of last night flooding his mind.

He knew he was going to end up confessing to Luna-shi but… he was… happy. He was happy how everything turned out. He did fear her reaction, but just like Onew, she allowed reality to sink in. He crossed his arms, feeling cold. He thought of Luna’s tears completely washing away her make up, he found it kind of interesting – it was like Luna’s true self-shown to him? Maybe he was getting too deep. Onew decided to pick up his journal, and skim through it. He looked through his last entry: it was just some random notes along with lyrics he picked up from the songs he listened to on his ipod. Onew didn’t get to write much, but when he did, he liked to smooth everything out – picking up words, phrases, anything, and changing them into something beautiful. Onew slipped out the intricate pen from the red ribbon, scribbling down a thought. Fantasy, he wrote. But what was he fantasizing about?

I’m stuck in this fantasy,

He looked at each word carefully, giving the coma some detail. He thought deeply, and realized this idea stuck in his head.

I’m stuck in this fantasy,

We’re both happy,

Onew realized he wasn’t fully aware of what he was writing exactly. We’re? Him and Luna? Onew scratched his head, pulling his subconscious out…

I have this fantasy,

We’re both happy,

No one is taking you away from me,

Onew was sitting down now in one of the expensive wooden chairs. He a lamp, looking at his own writing. He was shocked a bit by his own mind... but he continued.

I’m stuck in this fantasy,

We’re both happy,

No one is taking you away, and no one is taking me,

I’m lost in this fantasy,

Onew looked off into the curtains again, the sun shining brighter. His mind was racing of thoughts, depicting letters, sentences, phrases.

I’m completely lost.

Onew felt indifferent about this… he didn’t think much of it, and put away the journal. He still was thinking about it, as a whole…

I’m stuck in this fantasy,

We’re both happy,

No one is taking you away, and no one is taking me,

I’m lost in this fantasy,

I’m completely lost.

Onew silently sat to himself, thinking. Letting out a sigh, he closed the journal, letting it sit on the counter top he wrote on. Some days he liked to be alone like this, just able to think about the world. Onew peeked into the journal once more, unfocused on his actions.

I’m completely lost.

Onew looked down to his knees, thinking of Luna. He thought of her the whole time writing that entry, lost in his own head. Onew felt his throat tickle, giving out a breath. He tried to look back up to the curtains, but couldn’t.

I’m completely lost.

Onew covered his mouth, allowing the tears to flow now.

I’m completely lost.

He thought about himself as a rookie, before he knew what the world was going to turn out to be. His hair was a rich black, long, and he has such young skin. His outlook on life wasn’t much: just to get by. Everything was new, scary, and fast. His world was just at a simple pace, observing all around him.

Now, his world wasn’t so simple anymore. Now, his world was her. His world was Luna. Everything about her. He was hopelessly in love and he couldn’t make it go away. He loved her so much it hurt. But it wasn’t a type of sadness. Onew didn’t feel alone. He just felt extremely overwhelmed. He was afraid now, completely afraid. He felt more vulnerable than ever before in his life, even more than his audition to SM. This love was scary. “Don’t leave,” Onew whispered softly, clenching onto the journal. He cried more, breathing in and out. “Please don’t leave me.”

I’m completely lost.

Luna strolled along with the other three, looking at all the large signs written in Japanese. There were numerous cosmetic, clothing, and food signs, attracting her. Taemin followed by next to her, pointing and directing her to the interesting signs. Jonghyun’s little puppy looked excited by all the people, trotting his little furry legs around. Sulli held onto Luna by the arms, a bright smile on her face from the happy day so far. Luna was smiling as well, thinking to herself and talking to Taemin.

They stepped towards a little park in the midst of the city, where children, pets, and couples happily passed through. It was cold and only a little snow was spread across the damp grass, but children played with it anyway. Excited, the four placed themselves over by a picnic table as Taemin shuffled with his phone.

“Yah, my phone is vibrating.” He looked at it, pressing send.

“Hello?”

“Taemin, you’ve been out all day, why don’t you come back to the hotel already?”

Taemin sighed, “It’s only around two now, okay? I’ll be back later.” He hung up, Luna beginning to strike some curiosity.

“You two okay?”

Taemin nodded, looking at Jonghuyn who was too into Sulli playing with his dog in the snow. “He’s just been… possessive.”

“What?’ Luna placed a hand on top of his, “How?” Taemin looked down.

“I just get mad at him when he flirts with girls, which he does a lot. But then when he sees me talking to you, or my other hyungs… he gets really mad and yells a lot.”

“Does he only yell at you?”

“Y-yeah. There have been times when he’s close… but he hesitates.”

“Because he loves you, Taeminnie. He needs to control his jealousy.”

Taemin nodded, scanning the ground. He scooted closer to Luna and rested his forehead on her frail shoulder. Jonghyun and Sulli brought Roo over to the other two, Sulli holding Roo in her arms. The puppy was wagging his tail, his pink tongue slapping around his mouth. Sulli noticed Taemin upset, bringing Roo down in Taemin’s lap. The puppy noticed Taemin, looking up to him and barking. Taemin smiled, patting his head. “You are just so cute, Roo,” he cooed. The dog responded by nuzzling his nose into his stomach, and curling into a tiny, comfy spot to sleep. The four laughed, watching Roo snuggle in Taemin’s lap. As the four talked about Roo, a young Japanese boy, around the age of four, trotted over towards the dog.

“Koinu!” The small boy has slick black hair, still thin from his young age. He pointed at Roo in Taemin’s lap, hesitant to pet him. “P-petto?” Taemin laughed lightly. Luna smiled, allowing the boy to analysis the puppy and his fur. He was in his own world, scanning his eyes, smiling and breathing softly. None of them really knew Japanese too well, only some small phrases. “Koinu,” the boy mumbled softly, before stepping away to his mother quite a distance away.

“How cute is that little boy?” Sulli smiled.

“He reminds me of Yoogeun-ah a little.” Jonghyun stated, Taemin smiling by the sudden memories of the cute little boy. He never paid much attention to Taemin, but he still loved the kid a lot.

“I remember he loved to saw ‘Onew appa’ the most out of all of us.”

That caught Luna’s attention. Her head perked up, imagining Onew as an appa with his son. Suddenly, Roo jumped from Taemin’s lap, giving all he’s got with his tiny legs, running towards some other dogs around the opposite section of the park.

“Roo! Yah, Taeminnie, you weren’t holding on to him!”

“Sorry, hyung. Want me to go get him?”

“I’ll get him,” Luna stepped up, patting off some mess off of her pants from the picnic table’s seats. She walked over carefully, looking at Roo and the bigger dogs. He seemed confident, sniffing and running around. Luna decided to watch over him, allowing him to have some fun.

Luna felt a light tap on her leg, her head peaking down to see the small boy, pulling at her pants. “Kaasan!”

“H-huh?”

The boy groaned, extended his tiny arms. Luna wrapped her arms around him, lifting him up. He felt comfortable in her arms, loose and relaxed. “Kaasan,” he repeated, clinging onto her. What in the world was he even saying? She didn’t know enough Japanese to understand the young boy. He rested his head on Luna’s shoulder, making her smile. His skin was incredibly soft and gentle, his eyes fixated on the dogs playing.

“We should find your umma now.” She mumbled.

“Kaasan!”

Luna looked at him as he clinged onto her, beginning to his thumb. Does he think she is his umma? She looked desperately around the park, unsure of the moment. She tried to relax him by bobbing his body up and down, singing a light song. He smiled, a tiny laugh. Luna glowed from the inside as the boy smiled such a wonderful smile.

I stood upon the hill,

Stared up at the blue sky,

And drew a lovely person in my heart~

The boy continued to smile, repeating the word ‘kaasan’ over and over again. She took it that it meant “mother” in Japanese. Luna began to walk more toward the dogs, still keeping an eye on Jonghyun’s little puppy. A woman appeared by Luna’s side, with mid-length light hair, looking frantic. She was speaking Japanese rapidly, bowing. All Luna really picked up was, ‘thank you’ and ‘please.’ She handed the boy over, squirming and extending his arms to reach for Luna. It made her sad, really. She liked feeling like an umma. The woman bowed once more, Luna returning a bow, before she stepped away with the boy. Luna sighed out a breath, looking down. She really did like the feeling.

“Here he is, he’s such a rascal,” Luna told the others as she held onto Roo, sitting back down. Jonghyun grabbed Roo and placed him in his lap, carefully holding onto Roo’s back and legs. After some time, the group decided to head back to the hotel, Roo tired now. Sulli and Luna walked together as Taemin and Jonghyun continued to talk about Yoogeun. They must have missed them, sounding a bit sad by the memories.

“Yeah, well Onew hyung never touched Yoogeun-ah much, he was too afraid, remember?”

“I know, hyung, but he eventually opened up. I’m telling you he’ll be a good appa some day.”

Luna smiled to herself, listening. He’ll be a good appa some day. She clinged her arm around Sulli, finally reaching the hotel.

“Luna… is it okay if we just hang out alone for a while? I… I don’t really want to see Minho hyung yet.” Taemin was pulling at her wrist gently, as the other two continued to step away.

“Yeah, that’s fine, Taeminnie. Let me tell Sulli.” She called out for Sulli, giving a quick explaination that she was heading out to hang out with Taemin for a bit. Sulli nodded, following Jonghyun to the higher levels up into the hotel.

“Let’s just go somewhere,” Taemin kept his grip onto her wrist, pulling her into one of the many hallways in the giant hotel.

Onew was sitting with Minho and Key in his room, relaxing. He was feeling gloomy for the day, and just needed to forget about last night when Victoria came in. Key was talking about Jonghyun’s new dog, and how he lacks responsibility. Minho and Onew nodded, joingin into the conversation, but mainly listened to his complaining. There was a sudden knock, Onew jumping up from his seat. Was Luna visiting him?

He twisted the handle and opened it to see Victoria, a small smile on her face. It didn’t look fake or anything, but quite genuine. Onew felt a bit stiff at first, but sighed and gave in, “Hello, Victoria.”

Victoria and Onew bowed, allowing her in. Minho and Key stopped their conversation to bow and letting her sit on one of the open chairs.

“Do you two mind if I speak with Onew alone?” The two boys insisted that it was no problem, and quickly shuffled out, saying one more goodbye. The soft sound of the door closing suddenly made Onew feel uncomfortable again, his body sitting straight up now. He lowered his head down as hey both remained silent for a few moments.

“What do you need to talk to me about?” Onew asked, his voice soft. He didn’t want to sound angry, but not friendly. He felt strange.

“Well, you know that I want to talk to you about my Luna…”

Onew nodded, looking at her, “Yes?”

Victoria sighed, preparing to speak. “Well, I don’t know exactly how to start, Onew… I guess… I’ll begin with saying that I’m skeptic.”

“Of?”

Their conversation was stale at first, both voices with no expression, coming back and forth.

“I just want what’s best for her… and I think right now… she shouldn’t be with a man yet.”

“I think she is ready whenever she wants to be.”

“I don’t think she realizes she isn’t ready for a man, Onew. I know you are a good man, I do. I apologize for hitting you last night… but…”

Onew’s gaze was slight, thinking of Luna the whole time. He grew worry in his heart, wondering how she might feel if Luna was pregnant. Victoria continued.

“But she is so pure in her heart, and may be easily broken. She has been sad lately, and she hasn’t been as open with me.”

“You really do sound like an umma, Victoria,” Onew tried to smile, lightening the mood. The two gave an awkward smile, but felt less tension. She laughed a bit.

Her voice became serious again, “I… I don’t know how to say this… but I don’t want you two to see each other… she’s not ready for love.”

“Too late,” Onew said in his mind. Instead of speaking, he sighed.

“You should know I’m only thinking of Luna about this. I really care about her, Onew, I do.”

“I care about her so much…” Onew said this more out into the air instead of directly for her, like an open thought.

“I know you do, Onew… I’m going to talk about this with Luna eventually, but you should hear it first. You two should move back into a friendship. An innocent one.” Onew was looking down. He couldn’t even imagine being just friends with Luna again. He simply couldn’t. He honestly wasn’t taking any of her words seriously. “She’s very vulnerable, you know.”

“But she has grown so much. Both of us have… Victoria, we love each other.”

Victoria let out a sigh, beginning to pick into the strands of her hair; thinking. Her fingers streamed through the bottom of her long hair. “I know.”

“Before I say anything else… Victoria, why don’t you trust me?”

Victoria grew quiet, releasing her hair. She looked at Onew in silence, her eyes fixated on his face, then down to his shirt, and down to the floor. “Because…”

Onew waited for a moment. “Because?”

“Because I went through the same experience.”

This surprised Onew, curious. “What happened, Victoria?”

Victoria sighed, images appearing in her head. She gave a smile. “I fell in love with a man a bit older than me, but he loved and cared for me a lot. We were friends at first, but it grew into something more.”

“Did he do anything to hurt you?”

“He was such a wonderful man, but… things happened. We started to get more passionate, and I lost my ity to him.”

Onew’s heart rate increased. He thought of Luna more, images of her face in his head. “Did he regret it or something?”

“No… well, at first he didn’t. But… Onew, you have to promise me this is only between me and you,” Onew nodded, giving his word. She continued, “I found out I was pregnant. Of course, he was he father.”

Onew tried not to gasp out loud, but was shocked. He couldn’t even imagine Victoria with a child.

“And well, I told him. He at first was supportive, but we began to fight. He realized how easily he could leave…”

Onew looked at her. Tears were forming in her eyes.

“So he did.”

“Victoria, I’m so sorry… I-I had no idea… what happened to the baby?”

Victoria was quiet again, her tears were thin but she looked like she was in such pain. “I lost the baby when I was around three months.”

Onew looked down, quiet. He listened.

“I don’t want anything like this to happen to my Luna, Onew. I don’t. It can’t happen. She is too wonderful of a girl.”

Onew felt a tightness in his throat, lumps forced down as he swallowed. He held back his tears, images of Luna having a miscarriage brought up.

“Onew, I trust you… but… this can’t happen, okay? Do you realize how much pain Luna will go through if anything like that happened to her? If she got pregnant and you left her? If she lost her baby? If she lost her job as an idol?” Onew didn’t answer, his eyes strained with pain, forcing himself not to cry.

“Victoria. What if I told you I would give up my job for her?”

Victoria cleaned away her tears. “What?”

“Er-what I mean is, I would do anything for her.”

Victoria was quiet.

“I guess I just have to prove it to you, Victoria. I’ll do anything to prove nothing bad will happen between us.”

She sighed, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t have any idea what I have done for her.”