Author’s Note: Hello! I know it’s been a long time since I last updated and I really am sorry for that. It’s just that I’ve been busy these past few days or that my laptop has been inflicted with virus and was damaged. But that would make me a big fat liar. I’d admit that I were just slacking on my bed. Yeah no kidding, these past few days I’ve fallen in love with my bed and never wanted to leave it. HAHA. Anyways I am sincerely sorry for the delay of my update. But anyways here it is. I hope you’d like it though! Thanks for those who will be nice enough to read this, leave a comment, and click the subscribe button for those who haven’t subscribed yet~

Chapter Nine: A Peek Inside Sungyeol’s Heart

"I love him, I don't love him.I love him, I don't love him.

I love him, I don't love him.I love him, I don't love him.

I love him, I don't love him.I love him, I don't love him.

I love him, I don't love him.I love him, I don't love him." I uttered to myself a couple of times as I tore away the petals of the Santan I plucked from the flower bed I found on my way to the nearby park.

Call me stupid or whatever but I'm only doing this because this past few days I find myself being drawn to our maknae Sungjong. I myself do not know the reason why.

"I love him." I whisphered to myself when I tore the last petal.

I sighed. This can't be happening. There's just no way in hell I'd fall for that girly maknae who's obssesing himself over Kim Myungsoo.

NO

FREAKING

WAY.

And it's not because he is also a guy like me but because he is already in love to someone else. And I don't like that feeling, caring for somebody who already has somebody else to care for is the worst feeling in this world. You're better off dying than to suffer from that feeling.

Trust me. I SWEAR.

I left out another sigh as I threw the stem of Santan on the ground.

I stared at my cute neon blue colored sneakers as I walk my way to the near park. I love that place, it's like an oasis in the middle of an endless dessert.

That park is my utopia, the only place where I can be myself. Because that park is an abandoned place. Nobody goes to that park anymore so that is synonymous to no bunch of crazy fan girls gushing over me.

Don't get me wrong. I love our fans; it's just that at times like this I want to be by myself.

My right foot was about to step in in that park when I was taken a back by a sudden force that hit me on my back.

"Ya!" I yelled and walked in fast pace after the guy whose arm hit me on my back. He seems to be running from someone or from something. But anyway that is none of my business.

So why am I walking briskly after him?

Aah, to make him apologise from hitting me, whether it is accidentally or not.

"Oi did your mother fail to educate you about good manners and such?" Those words escaped from my lips as soon as my right hand had the chance to grab his left wrist.

He stopped running and froze.

"Say thank you when someone do you a favor. And say sorry when you offend someone." I continued my sermon.

"Then, mianhe." I felt a shiver run down on my spine when my ears heard the familiar quivering voice of this guy.

"S-Sungjongie?" I asked and his left arm tried its best to break free from my grip.

My grasp on his wrist tightened. "Is there anything wrong?" I asked, wondering why he's not turning his back away from me.

"Anni."

I pulled and turned him around so that I could see him face to face.

I cringed as soon as I saw his face. My left hand automatically reached out on the contour of his beautiful face, gently moving towards the contour of his now swollen eyes.

"Did he make you cry again?" His eyes averted my gaze, confirming my inference.

I felt a pang in my heart, watching him in his miserable state upclose.

Didn't I tell you before? I hate it when you're making that kind of face. A face with your eyes filled with sadness and pain." Because seeing you in pain also hurts me.

 My right hand which is still clutching his left wrist moved on its own and gently pulled him towards me. Pulling him in a tight embrace, my left hand moved from the contour of his eyes to his hair, patting him gently, soothing him from pain.

"Tell me what did he do to you this time?" I asked him, my right hand left his wrist to pat his back

"He, Myungsoo hyung, kissed me." Tell me he didn't just say that. "A-and he said he was sorry" I heard Sungjong burst in tears again, I tightened my embrace on him, hoping that this could take away the pain in his heart.

Damn that Myungsoo! How dare he kiss my beloved Sungjongie?!

Wait

...........

Did I just call him MINE?!

Add to that

Beloved Sungjongie???!!!

Now where did that come from?

I felt numb and cold when it finally dawned to me that indeed, I, LEE SUNGYEOL, IS IN LOVE TO LEE SUNGJONG.

Upon realization, both of my hands moved on its own. I gently pushed Sungjong away from my embrace.

"Hyung?" He asked. Probably perplexed by my sudden actions.

My right hand touched his chin, lightly tugging it to look up straight at my face. My left hand on the other hand cupped Sungjong's right cheek.

"H-Hyung" I heard him call out again but I paid no heed to it. Instead I found myself slightly moving my head down to meet his face.

My hands touched the contour of his face once more, as my eyes looked directly at his. I could feel his trembling breath as my face slowly move closer to his. My hands then moved to the frame of his face as I saw him close his swollen eyes.

I’d admit, I myself was surprised by my next action.

I found myself kissing the trail of Sungjong’s tears. As if my kisses would and could take away the pain, as if my kisses would and could soothe his sadness away.

“Hyung.” He whisphered as he shut his eyes open. I saw a smile of gratitude ensued on his beautiful face. That made me happy; at least somehow I was able to comfort him.

“Mou, I thought you’re really gonna kiss me right on my lips.” He uttered between his giggles.

Without words I moved my head closer to his once again, I saw him closing his eyes instantly as if he’s acting on his instincts. And I found myself once again kissing him.

This time...

...It’s right on his

EYES.

            Yes, I kissed him right on his eyes. Hoping that my kiss would and could stop him from crying painful tears due to Myungsoo ever again.

“Why do you want me to?” I teased and I took delight at his annoyed face with his lips pouting.

I couldn’t take his cuteness anymore, every minute I spend with him it feels like there’s no tomorrow. It’s like I don’t want this moment to end. Add to that the fact that only him has made me feel this way. Have you ever had that feeling? That feeling where your heart beats so incredibly and ridiculously fast? Where it’s like there’s some living organisms having a party inside your stomach? Only Lee Sungjong has ever made me feel this way. Only him and him alone.

This is bad, this is really really bad. Seems like I’ve fallen in love to a person who can never ever love me back.

I tightened the grip of my fists when I remembered what He did to Sungjong. He kissed him on his lips. And I only kissed Sungjong on his eyes?  And yet he was sorry? Haa! Kim Myungsoo is the most foolish stupid pabo I’ve ever encountered in my entire life.

And that is what’s making me mad at him. He takes Sungjong for granted.

“Thanks Hyungnim, you made me feel a lot better.” He flashed another sweet gratified smile at me.  “Are you okay Hyung? Are you hot? Why is your face turning crimson red?” He asked and asked and asked as his left hand reached out to touch my forehead so he could check if I’m having a fever. My right hand moved to grasp his left hand before it could even touch my forehead.

My right hand pulled his left hand towards me, so that I could envelope him to another tight embrace once again.

“H-hyung!” He uttered due to surprisement. Aigoo, how many times has he uttered the same word eh?

Stupid Sungjong, can’t he tell it’s because of him that’s why I’m crimson red right now? Aigoo. I can’t believe he can be quite dense.

“Promise me one thing Sungjongie. Promise me you’ll never let him make you cry ever again.” I stated ‘cause I swear I don’t know what I’d to that handsome face of Myungsoo once he hurt Sungjong again.

I heard him take a gulp before he agreed to my demand. He said he’d try, he better do so.  -___________-.

I let go of him, and flashed my sweetest smile at him.

“Sungjong.” I winced upon hearing that familiar voice call out the name of my beloved. I winced even more upon seeing Sungjong turned around towards him.

“C-can I talk to you? Even for a sec.?”  Sungjong gulped and nodded. He was about to step towards Myungsoo and that pained my heart so much.

My right hand reached out and grabbed his left wrist. I don’t know why but I just don’t want to let him go. It’s like if my right hand were to let go of his left wrist then I will lose him completely, without a word without a fight. I’ll lose him just like that.

            “Don’t worry hyung, I won’t let him make me cry anymore. I promised right?” Sungjong assured me with his cute smile, which made me tighten my grip on his wrist more. “Hyung, you can let go of me now. I’ll tell you whatever it is that we’ll talk about.” He said, and I dejectedly oblige.

            With a heavy heart I let go of his left wrist and was forced to watch him go to Myungsoo. I can’t help but feel a pain in my heart. I can’t help but envy and be jealous at Myungsoo. I can’t help but hate him. Especially when I remembered how much pain he had caused to Sungjong and that he kissed him this afternoon. Woo, I can feel my blood boil from anger.

            “Has I ever hate and been mad at somebody like this before?” I fumed from madness as I walked away from Myungsoo and Sungjong.

Then I remembered something.

I don’t get mad

I get EVEN.

~0.0~