Chapter Nineteen: Prepared for war.

This is Sungyeol’s point of view

When is he coming back? My feet cannot help but walk back and forth. My eyes cannot help but glue its gaze at the door, waiting for it to be opened by no one other than Sungjong.

The touch of a cold solid object on my right shoulder halted me. I glanced at it and saw a can of an Americano coffee.

“Wanna talk?” I glanced at the door, before I answered replied to Dongwoo.

“Where?” A smile made its way on Dongwoo’s face as his index finger pointed up.

0              0              0

“So… What do you want to talk about?” I asked Dongwoo as soon as we reached the rooftop and sat on one of the vacant seats there.

“Are you in love with Sungjong?” He bluntly asked me. His eyes staring straight unto mine, and I swear the Americano canned coffee almost slipped from my hands.

“Yes. Yes I am.” Yes I am. I am in love with him.

“Does he know?” He asked once again.                

“Yes he does.” I answered as I opened up the canned Americano coffee he has given me.

“So what’s the verdict?”

A bitter laugh escaped my lips upon remembering what Sungjong said when I confessed to him on the Ferris wheel.

"But hyung, my heart is already beating for someone else."

I gulped before I answer, “He’s in love with someone else.” My hands abandoned their grip on the canned coffee I was holding and instead rushed to wipe the tears that are threatening to fall from my eyes.

I already knew from the start that he’s already in love with Myungsoo.

I already knew right from the start.

Right before I confessed.

So why am I crying over something I already knew from the beginning?

Because it ing hurts!

I thought that since I already knew from the start and since I’ve already accepted the stupid fact that he is in love with him it would not hurt me anymore; that I won’t shed a single tear. But I was wrong.

Knowing the fact right from the start doesn’t mean I would be numb to the pain.

It didn’t hurt less.

                It didn’t hurt any less.

                Dongwoo let me cry to my heart’s content. He patted my back and didn’t utter a single word. He didn’t bother to comfort me yet his silence was more than enough to soothe me.

                “I don’t know what to do anymore.” I voiced out my worries. “I don’t know whether I will fight for his attention or just give up. I mean there’s no point for fighting for his attention when Myungsoo has already won his affection.”

“It would do you good if you would just give up.” Dongwoo’s opinion reverberated on my mind. True, it would be good if I would just give up my feelings for Sungjong and stop pursuing him. But there’s a problem . . .

I can’t.

I can’t just give up.

Not when I know that he’s everything I wanted.

“But it would do you better if you would fight for him.” Dongwoo continued upon noticing the visible hesitance in my eyes.

“Are you encouraging me?” I asked for I was baffled by what he had said. “Even if it’s pointless?” I added upon seeing Dongwoo’s head nod in agreement.

“Fight for his attention so your heart would make no room for regrets. Fight for his affection so your mind won’t dwell on what if’s.” Dongwoo said as he stood up from his seat. His left hand patted my back for a second before he headed to the door of the rooftop.

“But remember one thing Yeollie.” He paused, “If you truly love Sungjong, you’d be happy knowing he’s happy. Even if his happiness is not because of you.”

“He’s happiness is not because of you.”

“Ya! Hyung! Are you sure you’re encouraging me? Cause you sure at it!” Dongwoo once again paused on his track and shrugged his shoulders before he headed out of the rooftop.

“You’re smart Yeollie, figure it out.”

0              0              0

“Fight for him, give up on him. Fight for him, give up on him. Fight for him, give up on him. Fight for him, give up on him. Fight for him, give up on him. Fight for him, give up on him. Fight for him, give up on him. Fight for him, give up on him. Fight for him, give up on him. Fight for him, give up on him. Fight for him, give up on him. Fight for him, give up on him. Fight for him, give up on him. Fight for him, give up on him. Fight for him, give up on him. Fight for him, give up on him. Fight for him, give up on him.” I uttered as I pluck out the petals of a flower planted on one of the flowerpots on the rooftop.

Thirty minutes have passed and yet I still cannot decide on what I will do. Should I really fight for him? Or should I just give up?

But then again if I will fight for his attention . . . HOW?

I can’t just confess, I already did that. And it didn’t work.

Shall I beg? Nah. I already did that. It almost worked.

Then shall I take him on a proper date? This time with his consent? But then again how will I be able to convince him to go on a date with me?

AISH! If only I knew from the beginning that liking someone would be this hard then I would have stopped myself from liking Sungjong.

Oh wait.

I already knew it’s troublesome, but then again I didn’t do anything to stop myself. To prevent myself from falling for his charms.

Damn! Who knew I am such a masochist?

My right hand ruffled my tousled hair before throwing the petal-less stem of the unknown flower on the ground. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and savored the serenity while it still lasts.

One. I am in love with Sungjong.

Two. He is in love with Myungsoo.

Three. Unfortunately, Myungsoo loves him too.

Four. “If you truly love Sungjong, you’d be happy knowing he’s happy. Even if his happiness is not because of you.” – Dongwoo

Five. Giving up would do me good.

0              0              0

With a sad smile plastered on my face I descended from the rooftop.

And the sight of Myungsoo welcoming Sungjong in a warm embrace welcomed me.

The smile on my face disappeared and my fist clenched and a frown ensued on my face.

And I swear a pang of pain stung my heart upon seeing how happy Sungjong is on Myungsoo’s embrace.

So it’s true. His happiness is not because of me.

I closed my eyes and bit my lower lip yet the sight of them still haunted me.

Giving up would do me good.

I know, I know!

So answer me . . .

Why am I prepared for war?

To be Continued l l >

Bluementrit’s Note: I would like to apologize for taking me again soooo soooo long to update this. Good news: School’s over! Yay! No more reports, presentations, lesson plans, visual aids, curriculum, and demo-teaching which means more time to me to update my fanfics. YES!

Again I would like to thank my avid readers who never get tired of waiting for my once in a blue moon updates. Haha

Thank you for your never ending support and never forget that you’re the reason why I am writing this fanfiction.

Again, to my new subscribers thank you very much.

To non-subscribers please do click the subscribe button.

P.S.  Your constructive criticisms, reactions and opinions are extremely welcome on the comment box 

Ja ne!

K A M S A H A M N I D A

B l u e m e n t r I t <3