Chapter Twenty: The Prince, The Battered Princess and The Knight.

(This is your point of view)

“Kamsahamnida.” Myungsoo oppa’s manager smiled at me before he buckled his seatbelt.

“Then I’ll be going now.” He bade goodbye and after a few seconds his car disappeared from my sight.

A sigh escaped from my lips, but then I started walking, I don’t even know where I am going, I just kept on walking and walking, waiting for the time when my feet can walk no more.

                Myungsoo oppa offered me a place where I could stay, but I declined. I said I called an old friend and that I’d stay in one of her family inns.

                I didn’t really wanna go home yet, I don’t have the courage to face ahjumma yet.

                So I lied… and just like before, he believed me.

…

I was a princess, a abattered princess. The evil witch, my mother, enjoyed beating me, every single day. Then one day, a beautiful fairy godmother appeared and saved me. She took me in her custody and there, I met her son, the handsome prince, Kim Myungsoo. He was the one who healed my wounds.

We grew up together, and I became used to his presence and company. I couldn’t bear to live without him. I wish I could stay by his side forever.

…

A knight appeared, he was Myungsoo oppa’s best friend. His name is as beautiful as his face… Nam Woohyun. Because he was oppa’s best friend, eventually we became close too. 

One day, as Myungsoo oppa and I were heading home together, a maiden tried to snatch oppa away from me. She confessed to him, in front of me. I never wanted to punch a girl before that moment.

Fortunately, oppa turned her down. But then I realized that if I won’t do anything now, other girls will try to take him away from me. I can’t let that happen. I can’t.

So I decided to pursue him.

The girl’s confession stirred something inside me. An emotion I am not quite familiar with.

J              E              A             L              O             U             S              Y

I realized I don’t want to be just his younger sister anymore.

I don’t want to be just another friend.

I want to be his girl.

…

I asked Woohyun oppa to help me, and he agreed. Eventually I won Myungsoo oppa’s affection. We became a couple.

I was happy

yet sad at the same time.

I am with the prince,

Yet I longed to be with the knight.

I guess along the way, somewhere, when he closes his eyes so he won’t see me crying, and hug me tight to comfort me. When he cooks food for me so I won’t be hungry… when he would softly, quietly, gently sing his favorite songs in my ears so I would not fear thunders anymore.

In between those moments, my heart found its home.

Somewhere along the way, I fell in love…

I want to break up with Myungsoo oppa, but I can’t. I don’t have the courage to break the heart of the man who always made me happy.

I cannot bear to hurt the son of the woman who saved me.

So the night Myungsoo oppa proposed to me,

I was left with no choice but to say yes.

I popped the news to Woohyun oppa. It broke my heart when he smiled and said we should celebrate.

                So I did the only thing to calm me up and numb me down .

                I drank as much sojus as I could… and the next thing I knew.. I was drunk.

                I remember falling asleep…

                But then I woke up because of a strange, pleasing sensation on my body.

                I opened my eyes and then I saw…

                Woohyun oppa hovering over me.

                He’s Woohyun oppa yet he’s different.

                Tonight he’s not a knight,

                But a monster.

I pleaded. I begged. I cried.

Yet he didn’t show any mercy.

                Then I was reminded of the days when my mother has abused me.

                I closed my eyes, trying to drown the horrid image in front of me.

                And then I woke up, with my clothes nowhere to be found.

                I panicked, tried to convince myself that nothing has happened.

                He simply stared at me and disagreed nonchalantly…

                I said Myungsoo oppa would kill us once he found out,

                He shrugged and said to call the engagement off.

                I asked, “What if I became pregnant.”

                He looked at me dead in the eye and said, “Then I’ll marry you.”

                I told him to not say those words, not when he doesn’t have feelings for me on the first place.

                I was surprised when he smirked, and pulled me in for a kiss.

                I pulled away,

                He cried.

                I was trapped in his embrace,

                He said he loves me.

                I said I love Myungsoo oppa.

He burst out, and threatened me.

He broke down, shouting with frustration in his voice.

He’s broken, he’s hurt, and he’s in pain.

 He’s suffering because he’s in love with me.

I want to hug him back, and say I love him too.

But I can’t.

I can’t.

He begged. He pleaded. He cried.

In a miserable state, he asked me to stay.

But I didn’t listen.

I was afraid

So I walked away.

I decided to go away,

Permanently from their lives…

I decided to kill myself

Upon seeing the road travelled by rushing vehicles.

I fished out my phone, and called him.

I wanted to hear his voice,

I wanted to say I love you,

But I didn’t…

I can’t…

So instead I said,

“I’m sorry.”

And embraced death.

But I didn’t die,

I survived,

And my feelings for him re-awaked upon seeing him again.

Myungsoo oppa has moved on, he has Sungjong with him,

I felt another twinge of jealousy, but I know it is not love.

Sungyeol persuaded me,

Yelled at me

Screamed at me…

But I cannot fight for someone I’ve let go

I cannot fight for someone I don’t really need to be with.

I want Myungsoo oppa

But I need Woohyun oppa

I can live with Myungsoo oppa

But I cannot live without Woohyun oppa…

I love him

I do.

But does he love me too?

What a stupid question to ask myself,

For even if he does, nothing will change.

I still cannot be with him,

Not now,

Not when he’s an idol,

Not when he’s perfectly okay.

I’m afraid, I might change him into a monster again.

I don’t want to destroy him…

I don’t want to ruin him.

                To be Continued l l >

Bluementrit’s Note: I know you’re used to me apologizing for updating for so long, but I know that the long wait is worth it since I’m satisfied with this chapter kekeke.

Thank you for your never ending support and never forget that you’re the reason why I am writing this fanfiction.

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Ja ne!

K A M S A H A M N I D A

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