I would never fall in love again until I found her

I said, “I would never fall unless it’s you I fall into”

I was lost within the darkness, but then I found her

I found you

“I won’t ask you to wait for me nor will I promise that I’ll find my way back to you.”

“Jennie…”

“It wouldn’t be fair Rosie…What if you end up finding someone who can stay….”

“I won’t. I won’t ever fall in love again unless it’s you.” Rosie replies, eyes determined.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep” I shake my head, “I’m not breaking up with you because I don’t think we’ll make it…”

“Then don’t.”

“I can’t do that Rosie…I can’t hurt you anymore than I already have.”

“Jennie..that’s not true..we can make it Jen, you just have to trust me..to trust us.” Rosie holds my hands and I couldn’t help but think that this might be the last time I’ll ever be able to hold her hands like this.

“Aren’t you tired Love?” I cup her face in my hands, “Fighting this losing battle…” I lean our foreheads together, closing my eyes and savouring our last moments together.

“I love you.” Rosie whispers, her breath hitting my lips and the urge to close the gap between our lips strong, but my resolve was stronger.

“I know..” I refuse to say it back, “That’s why it had to be me…” I pulled away, feeling my resolve starting to crumble the longer I’m with her.

“If things were different..I think we would have had a happier ending.” Rosie forces a smile among the sea of tears, “We gave it our all…but maybe love isn’t enough right?”

“I don’t want you to wake up one day and regret all of this.” I try to keep my eyes on hers, but the way her eyes show how much this is breaking her is making it hard for me to keep watching, “I’d rather live the rest of my life with our memories than one day waking up to you hating me..resenting me…regretting the love you have for me. I just want to remember you as my Rosie who loves me and I want you to remember me as the Jennie who loves you.” I force myself to give Rosie her favourite smile of mine, “Promise?” I smile with my gums showing and Rosie bites her lower lip while nodding, “Pro..promise.” She says in a soft whisper and I nod, “I should go then.” I make my way to the door. But Rosie stops me, “Jen.” She held my hand, but I couldn’t turn around..I can’t leave her twice and Rosie knows that so we stay standing like this her hand holding mine while my free hand was on the doorknob, gripping it with all the strength I have so that I don’t fall back into her arms.

“We’re soulmates Jen and maybe our story here may have ended but I know that somewhere out there, be it in another life or another universe..that we’d find each other. That we’d love each other with all the love we couldn’t give to each other in this life.”

_

“We smile at each other in understanding. It’s not a goodbye, not really..it’s a see you later. A see you later that holds no promises, no expectations. I admit, I am scared to take this next step, but it’s something I need to do for myself. I love her and she loved me. Now, I need to learn how to love me and to have loved her.” Jennie reads the paragraph from the short story she’s reading with a soft sigh while Lisa, her best friend, rolls her eyes.

“You need to stop obsessing over those Nini, I know you stayed up late reading again.” Lisa shakes her head, grabbing her smock from her locker, while Jennie leans on one of the lockers in the hallway of the fine arts building.

“I can’t help it Lili…that line..I’m.” Jennie clutches her heart, “Along the way we will experience what it is to be loved and to have been loved. It’s speaking the truth.”

“Now..who hurt you?” Lisa looks at her best friend.

“This author..anyways, what do you think?” The girl asks an ambiguous question.

“Think of?”

“If you and I dated, broke-up..do you think we’d still be friends?”

“Hmm…I don’t know..maybe? I doubt I’d fall for you that much.”

“Excuse you. I’m a catch..you’re def the Mina in this relationship.”

“The who?” Lisa furrows her brows, Jennie opens to say something but Lisa shakes her head, “Nevermind I know..it’s probably one of the leads in that story.”

“It is..but any…whoa..” Jennie backs into someone, causing the two to fall on the ground, “I’d think it’s nice to start with dinner, before pushing me down like this..don’t you think?” A voice that Jennie knows so well says with that charming Australian accent of hers followed by a light chuckle that practically melted Jennie on the spot, “I..uh..I..” Jennie stutters.

“Why don’t we both get up first, yeah?”

“Uh right..yeah..sorry.” Jennie quickly gets up.

Can the ground just swallow me now? Please? I beg. Jennie thinks as she avoids the other girl’s gaze.

“Are you two okay?” Lisa looks at the two, she knows her best friend can be clumsy, but not this clumsy.

“I’m fine Lili.” Jennie smiles at Lisa, knowing that her best friend is going to about this the second the blonde girl leaves, “Roseanne..are you? I’m sorry, I didn’t see you. It’s usually just us here so I didn’t even think to look back.” Jennie apologises.

“It’s fine Jennie.” Roseanne chuckles, “All good, no harm done. Anyways, I’ll see you in lecture later, nice to see you again Lisa.” The blonde girl smiles at the two before cooly walking away.

“I cannot believe you quite literally fell into your crush’s arms like that. I thought that stuff only happens in the movies.” Lisa bubbles out in laughter after Roseanne’s out of sight.

“I’m transferring.” Jennie groans, sinking to the ground, “Ey c’mon now Jennie..that’s a bit too much plus your parents will throw a fit if you even mention transferring out of SNU. So be the big girl like you are, and just move on. Okay?” Lisa holds an ok sign up with her hand.

“Fine..just cause you're right..mom will never let me hear the end of it if I transfer out.”

“Yep..plus it was just me who saw it. Now c’mon, help me get my stuff ready for my sculpting class.”

~ ~

“Hey Jennie.” Roseanne smiles at Jennie, who was stunned at the sudden greeting when it came time to their creative writing class.

“Uh hey Roseanne.” Jennie offers a small smile, the events from this morning still fresh in her mind.

“Just Rosie is fine.” The blonde chuckles, “Well see you later Jennie.”

“Yeah..uh..see you around Roseanne.”

“What’d I just say?” Roseanne pouts.

Oh that’s not fair, I might just let my intrusive thoughts win. Jennie almost groans out loud,

“See you around Rosie.” Jennie chuckles, going back to reading, while Roseanne takes her usual spot in the back corner of the lecture hall.

“I saw that.” Jisoo, Roseanne’s best friend, smirks.

“Saw what Chu? I was just saying hi to Jennie.”

“Finally having the guts to talk to your crush I see.” Jisoo teases even more, “I do not have a crush on her!” Roseanne whisper yells, pulling Jisoo closer.

“You are too obvious my friend.” Jisoo shakes her head, “It’s really not like that..I don’t even know her that well. I’m just being nice since we’ve shared a class here and there.”

“I mean you’ve also had a few classes here and there with other people but you don’t go up to them like you did with Jennie just now..nor do you pay them any attention like you do with Jennie.”

“I don’t know..there’s just something about her. Like looking at her makes me happy but it also makes my heart ache somehow. So it makes me want to know her more..to understand this feeling.”

“Hmmm..interesting.” Jisoo nods, “Maybe you finally found it.”

“Found what?”

“The person you’re meant to be with.”

“That’s a bit much Chu, I’ve only shared hellos with her.”

“Hey you never know okay. Plus, you're the hopeless romantic here, talking about your heart aching when you see her…maybe you should go to the student health center.”

“Whatever Chu.” The two best friends laugh together.

~ ~ ~ ~

a/n: Mic test 1,2?

It's been a while...also I have no idea where we will go from here...but it will get somewhere..I hope..

Anyways, let me know your thoughts or what you want to see happen (Help a girl out won't you?)

Okay..

Bye~~