-Present Time-

 

・Jennie’s POV

 

How did I go from running away from seeing Rosie to now sitting at a park bench with her sister?

 

“You okay?” Alice asks, her eyes still on Hank, who’s grown so much in the year I didn’t see him.

 

“Fine.” I answer, shortly.

 

“Jennie.” Alice calls me in that older sister tone of hers, “You were a part of our family for almost a decade, I know you better than you think.”

 

‘Were’...damn when did using past tense hurt so much?

 

“Aly, why are you so nice to me?”

 

“huh?”

 

“I know Rosie probably told you everything…so you know how much I hurt her before.”

 

“Jen.” Alice places a hand on my shoulder, and I turn to look at her only to look away just as fast. I couldn’t look into those eyes that look so much like hers.

 

“You and Rosie are both stupid when it comes to your feelings.” She deadpans and I chuckle lightly at this.

 

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

 

“You know...if you really didn’t have any feelings for Rosie, I don’t think you would have stayed for as long as you did. Maybe it’s because I’m an outsider looking in at your relationship with her, but I don’t think she loved you more than you did her.”

 

“I think she did...Rosie’s the type to give and give...and I was always just taking. Taking everything she gave me for granted until there was nothing left.” I looked down at my hands.

 

Why didn’t I just give to her at least once. At least show her what I could offer..what I wanted to offer.

 

“Do you remember when you first started dating.”

 

“Like in high school?”

 

“Yes.” Alice chuckles, “I think you guys were only 3 or 4 months into your relationship at the time, but Rosie had to get her tonsils removed.”

 

“I vaguely remember that.”

 

“She wasn’t in school for a few days and you suddenly showed up at like midnight looking so worried for her.”

 

“Me?”

 

“Yes and you stayed with her..all night.”

 

“I…” I racked my brain, trying to find that memory. To help me find a piece of me that gave Rosie the love she deserves.

 

“You did..I even have a photo somewhere at home. It was adorable...you were holding onto her hand so tightly, like she was dying.” Alice laughs, “But you also left before she woke up.”

 

“Ah I remember…Rosie wasn’t in school and Lisa was on a trip at the time. No one knew where she was and she didn’t contact me like usual. I couldn’t sleep for days because I was so worried that something happened…and that next morning I woke up realizing where I was..what happened and I..”

 

“You held back.” Alice finishes my sentence for me.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“You were always holding yourself back Jen...and I don’t know why. Did loving my sister scare you that much?” Alice asks and I was about to answer when she stopped me, “Actually, don’t answer that...I don’t think I should be the one to know that.” She motions to where Hank is and there she is playing with him, smiling so brightly. And boy what would I give for her to smile at me like that again. Maybe in my next life I can be Hank.

 

“I’ll go get Hank..I’ve talked with Rosie and I’ve talked with you...but I think you two need to talk.”

 

“Aly.” I stop the older girl from walking away, “Is she happy...with her?”

 

Alice turns to me, her eyes giving me a silent answer, “It's okay.” I say, “But yeah..there are some things I need to tell her.”

 

“It was good seeing you again Jen..don’t be a stranger okay.” Alice gives me a comforting smile before running to Rosie.

 

I watch as Alice and Rosie talk for a bit, watching as Rosie glanced over at me before nodding and walking towards me.

 

As she made her way towards me a soft smile on her face, it felt like I was seeing her for the first time again.

 

My heart never had that racing moment with Rosie, never that feeling of adrenaline..no, with her my heartbeat would slow, and I would feel calm. Rosie was my safe haven. And it took me 8 years and losing her to figure that out.

 

“Hi.” She sits where Alice was a few moments ago, “It’s been a while.”

 

“Hi Rosie.” I smile genuinely. She’s glowing.

 

“How are you?” I ask.

 

“I’m doing great. Never better.” Rosie replies, her tone light with no malice, “How about you? I uhm..heard about you and Lisa..I..” She stumbled with her words, something she does when she’s nervous.

 

“Rosie.” I put a hand on top of hers, it usually shut her up, “I’m okay and we just didn’t work out that well, we’re better as friends.” I admit to her, smiling even though it stung when she pulled her hand away.

 

“So then can I ask..” Rosie trails off.

 

“You can ask whatever you want..I’ll be honest.”

 

“What did you see in Lisa for you to..uh..”

 

“For me to choose her?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I don’t know...maybe it was the butterflies or the excitement...but once that all went away..there wasn’t anything else..nothing deeper was there.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“But we’re cool, Lisa and I. We still hangout and even joke about all the times we fought.” I chuckle.

 

“Yeah..she mentioned you two vibe better as friends.” Rosie nods.

 

A silence falls over us. I didn’t know what to say now, but I know I didn’t want to ask about who she was with earlier. Not yet at least.

 

“We were like a snowglobe.” Rosie suddenly begins talking, looking up at the clear sky, “Our relationship that is...from everyone’s point of view it’s beautiful, something you want to preserve. But when you look closer, you’ll see just how many cracks there are, how many imperfections, just how broken we were.”

 

I stayed quiet. Letting Rosie talk.

 

“It was only after we broke up did I see that…so I also wanted to talk to you and tell you that I’m sorry.”

 

“Rosie..”

 

“I’m sorry for holding onto you...to us..for so long. I gave you my all, everything I could offer. I never expected anything in return..and when I realized what I gave wasn’t enough..well it made it easier to let go, to let you go..because the love I gave, it wasn’t the kind of love you needed. I’ve held onto our rope so tightly my hands burned, not because of how tightly I tried to hold on, but because I didn’t realize you were trying to pull away.”

 

“Rosie I…”

 

“Honestly, all that’s happened made me wonder if I even loved you or just the thought of you...For a moment I thought it was the latter...but if that was the case I wouldn’t have held on as long as I did.”

 

I didn’t know how to respond to her question...I didn’t know what hurt more...her thinking that the love she gave me wasn’t enough..or admitting that she might have just loved the idea of me she had in her head.

 

“Do you want a solution or comfort?” I ask her the same question she used to often ask me when I’m troubled.

 

“Huh?”

 

“You used to always ask me that when I was having a problem or something was bothering me. I don’t know how you knew, but you always did.”

 

“Oh…”

 

“You would always ask if I wanted to be comforted..or if I wanted a solution...but you never asked me if I wanted both.” And there were times I wanted both..I wanted you to comfort me and help me find a solution. 8 years Rosie..it wasn’t just you that stayed. It was me too.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

・Rosie’s POV

 

When those words came out of Jennie’s mouth did I realize that I never asked her why she stayed. She didn’t even love me that much...so then why? Why did she stay..when she was the one pulling away first?

 

“I was also holding onto that rope with you..playing that game of tug-o-war. But you were so much stronger than me. You gave me so much that I didn’t know if what I had to offer was enough. My hands were burned by our rope just as much as yours, because you never even gave me the chance to show you how much I love you too.”

 

“Jen..”

 

“And without me realizing I began to hold back what I felt for you...because I was scared that one day you’d realize that I wasn’t what you wanted after all. That what we had was no longer part of the future you had planned. I come from a modest household whereas you come from a place that’s so hard to reach..and I guess I spent so much time trying to land amongst the stars that I forgot those that are on the ground with me looking up… I wanted to land amongst the stars so maybe then I don’t feel like one misstep and everything would have been over...but along the way I lost sight of you Rosie. I lost sight of you who was holding my hand looking up at the stars. I didn’t realize until now, that you were always on the ground with me. That I already had everything I needed.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me this before? You know I didn’t want to ever make you feel that way Jen. My family respects you and your family. You know that status, wealth, all that means nothing to us.”

 

“I know..that’s why I guess I didn’t tell you...it was my little insecurity and when I reached my dreams with you still there..I thought everything is finally where it should be.. That I’m finally at that place where I can take that next step with you...and then Lisa happened.” Jennie sighs, running a hand through her hair.

 

“Next step?” I ask her..she couldn’t possibly mean..

 

“Growing up my mum used to tell me that when she and my dad met she would always get this heart racing, adrenaline like feeling whenever they were together.” She totally ignores my question, “And while you were going back and forth to Auckland for a bit, she’d offer to hangout and soon I found myself feeling that heart racing excitement with her...and I started to develop that small infatuation towards her.”

 

“Then why didn’t you guys work out?”

 

“Because that’s all we had. That heart racing moment, nothing deeper..no connection.”

 

“You never felt that with me?” I ask, genuinely curious.

 

“No.” Jennie shakes her head, “You had the opposite effect on me..you made my heart pound, but not race. In fact, you made it slow down and made me feel calm. When you were around, I felt like anything was possible. You were my own safe haven Rosie.” Jennie looks at me, a full gummy smile on her lips as a single tear rolled down the side of her face.

 

“Jennie.” I wiped the tear, pulling her into my arms, “I..”

 

“Don’t.” She stops me, pulling back, “Don’t say anything Rosie. Please.”

 

“Jen..”

 

“Are you happy?” She asks me.

 

“Yeah..I am.” I could never lie to her.

 

“Good..that’s all I want.” She says getting up from the park bench.

 

“Jen!” I call out to her.

 

“Hmm?” She turns around and I suddenly was at a loss for what I had wanted to tell her. Maybe it's the realization that it was the small things Jennie did for me that showed all her love...that she loved me as much as I did her. I don’t know.

 

“Rosie.” She smiles, “Don’t forget to ask her if she wants both okay? I’ll see you around.”

 

With that...Jennie walks away..a gentle breeze blowing...and just like that she’s gone.

 

~ ~ ~

 

“Hey babe...why do you look so..” Suzy motions to all of me, when she couldn’t find the right word. I shake my head and pull her into my arms, “I just want comfort.” I tell her and she nods her head on my shoulder.

 

“I saw Jennie today...we talked.” I begin to say after a few moments of Suzy and I cuddling on her couch.

 

“And?” She probes, knowing my history with Jennie.

 

“You know, even though Jen and I didn’t end up together in the end...she showed me who I needed to be when the right person comes along.”

 

“Oh..is that me then?” She cheekily asks.

 

“Yeah...I think that’s you.” I smile.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

・Jennie’s POV

 

“I guess it’s time for me to get rid of this.” I whisper, throwing away that Tiffany&Co box I’ve had with me since the day Rosie graduated from law school.

 

They say it's easy to say you're over someone if you aren't seeing them. The challenge is to look them in the eye and see their smile and hear their voice and still be able to say “this isn’t what i want anymore.” And when I saw Rosie today..when I looked into her eyes...saw her smile...heard her voice..her laugh… I knew I wasn’t over her, but I could tell by the look in her eyes that our chapter in her life has ended.

 

A year ago...Rosie let me go because I had lost sight of what was in front of me all along. Because she thought she wasn’t the one that made me feel loved..that made me feel happy. I guess it’s my turn to do the same...now it’s me who needs to let go, to move on. The thing is...I don’t know how to start.

 

 

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A/n: This is it for Gone -Postlude-

 

This is short, because I didn’t want to drag it out for too long…it was originally suppose to be a quick sequel too..soo yeah

 

Ah and to the anons on my CC that wanted the angst...I hope this satisfies you guys.

 

Also, yes...endgame won the poll..and we got an endgame WOOHOO!!

 

Let me know what you think. Y’all know where to yell at me lol.

 

Okay till next time.

 

BYE~~~