Rosie’s a bit tanner now, her blonde hair seems brighter, and the air around her is lighter. The Rosie that’s in front of me right now is different, but a good different. Is this the real Rosie..the Rosie that didn’t have to always keep an eye out for others? The Rosie that lives just for herself?

 

“So are you guys here on vacation? You should have told me, I could have gotten you from the airport.” Rosie begins the conversation after we agreed to join them for lunch.

 

“It was supposed to be a surprise Roseanne.” Lisa deadpans.

 

“Well, you didn’t do a very good job then. Irene said you’ve been here a day, you could have gone to see me yesterday or something.” Rosie pouts.

 

“Okay stop acting cute, it’s cringe.” Jisoo makes a face and everyone laughs.

 

“So you two.” Irene mentions to Rosie and the brunette sitting by her side, “how long?”

 

“It’s been 3 months.” Rosie smiles at her.

 

“Yeah, but we've been friends since Rosie moved here.”

 

“Mhm, we met at one of our cafes and then found out we’re neighbors. Jiyeon’s been here a year longer than me. She moved from Seoul.”

 

“Isn’t that just lucky for you Rosie. You guys look cute together.” I force a smile.

 

“Thanks Jen…” Rosie blushes, and I see her grab Jiyeon’s hand.

 

“Do you want to go?” Irene whispers in my ear, but before I can give an answer our meal arrives.

 

“Let’s eat.” I smile, giving Irene my answer.

 

I need to get used to this.

 

~ ~

 

“We don’t like her. We don’t.” Lisa says while we made our way to some excursion she planned.

 

“I like her.” I say.

 

“WHAT?” The three look at me like I grew a second head.

 

“Jiyeon..I like her.”

 

“But Jen, she and Rosie..”

 

“She makes Rosie happy.” I interrupt Jisoo, “That’s all that I want.” I look at all of them with a huge smile, “So let’s just enjoy our time here and then go home.”

 

My Rosie...did you also feel like your heart was being torn into a million pieces everytime I looked at her? Everytime I smiled at her? Everytime I looked at her and not you?

 

Did you feel both broken and happy? Broken because it wasn’t you, but happy because I was happy?

Like you did for me Rosie..all I want is for you to be happy too. And as much as I want that person to be me...I’ll respect your decision.

 

“Jennie, hey.” Irene nudges me slightly, “You were gone for a bit there. Are you sure you’re okay?” She looks at me worriedly.

 

“Mhm I’m fine. C’mon those two are going to leave us behind.”

 

~ ~ ~

 

“We should stop meeting like this,” I hear a chuckle next to me.

 

“Talia, hello.” I smile at the girl, and she just frowns in return.

 

“You have that look again.” She shakes her head, sitting next to me on the beach.

 

“What look?”

 

“It’s the look you’ve had on your face since we met.” Talia stares at me, “It’s funny..it’s the same look my friend had when she first came to Santorini.” Talia chuckles.

 

“And what kind of look is that?”

 

“Hmm like...uh..in Greek we say χαρμολύπη.”

 

“Charmolypi?” I tried to mimic her, but probably butchered the word, seeing how she chuckled a bit.

 

“Yes, it’s...I don’t know how to translate it in english but it’s basically mixed feelings..like uhm you are happy but also sad. Ah!” Talia snaps her fingers, “Joyful sorrow.”

 

“Joyful sorrow huh.” I smile, what a simple way to put everything I’m feeling right now.

 

“Mhm, now c’mon.” Talia suddenly gets up, giving me a hand.

 

“Where are we going?” I ask, grabbing her hand anyways.

 

“We are going to meet my friend, maybe she can help you.”

 

“Oh but..”

 

“No buts Jennie. She’s really nice, don't worry.” Talia smiles, already dragging me along with her.

 

~

 

“Jennie?”

 

“Rosie?”

 

“Wait wait, you two know each other.” Talia points at me then at Rosie.

 

“Yeah..she’s..”

 

“We’re best friends.” Rosie smiles, and I return it.

 

“Ah! Well I brought you here to talk to Rosie...but she probably already knows.” Talia slumps on the barstool.

 

“Know about what?” Rosie looks at me with a slight frown.

 

“It’s nothing Rosie.” I smile, looking around the bar, “This place is really nice.”

 

“Yeah, it’s still technically hers.” She points at Talia, “But I’m managing it.”

 

“I see.” I nod, as we watch Talia mouth something in Greek to Rosie before walking off.

 

“So.” Rosie leans on the counter, “You want to tell me what's up?”

 

“It’s nothing.”

 

“Jennie.”

 

“Roseanne.” I copy.

 

“What’s going on with you...you’ve been quiet since earlier.”

 

“I’m just a bit jet lagged still.” I lied.

 

“Really?” Rosie looks at me with a raised brow.

 

“Yes really.”

 

“Is it her again?” She sighs.

 

“I didn’t tell you?” It was my turn to frown.

 

“Tell me what?”

 

“Rene and I got divorced, literally just a few..woah hey! Rosie!” She suddenly dragged me out of the bar.

 

“What do you mean by divorced?”

 

“Uhm, is this a trick question?”

 

“Jennie, I’m serious.”

 

“We got divorced. We separated.”

 

“Right, but like why? Did she..”

 

“It was mutual. We’ve actually been separated for months now, we just needed to wait for the paperwork to be finalized.”

 

“So this whole time you were going through that and you didn’t even tell me?” Rosie looks at me with disappointment.

 

“I guess we’re even then.” I replied, trying not to sound too bitter.

 

“Even?”

 

“You didn’t tell me you got a girlfriend.” I turn my back away from Rosie, taking in the beautiful sight of Santorini at night.

 

“Why are we like this? How did we become so awkward with each other like this?” I finally speak up after a deafening silence, “We’re supposed to be best friends..but you went away and I understand why...I know that you needed your time and space. That’s why I didn’t run after you, why I waited..but sometimes I wondered if things would be different if I stopped you from leaving that night.”

 

Rosie stays quiet, and I glance quickly at her, before turning away again, “Would you still look at me if I did? Or would I continue hurting you?”

 

“Jen..”

 

“It’d probably be the latter right?” I sigh, finally willing myself to look at her, “I knew that, better than anyone. I wanted you but you seem to not want me. I mean you were so insistent in pushing me towards her. So I did that, because I thought that you won’t look at me like I did you. I followed what you wanted and..”

 

“That’s not fair Jen, you were the one that said you liked her, you were the one that kept gushing about her. All I want is for you to be happy and she was your happiness. No matter how hard I tried...nothing seemed to work. Just why couldn’t you choose me? Just why can’t your heart love someone other than her?”

 

“God Rosie you’re an idiot you know that? Do you know how many times I’ve wanted to just kiss you since we were kids? I really thought you were my forever, but then you asked me to play this game and you told me that I’d realize something about you and I did..You made me realize that you won’t look at me the way I looked at you, because you just kept pushing me to another person. So I buried my feelings for you, I kept them away, and I slowly opened my heart to Rene.”

 

“That’s not true! That’s not what I wanted you to realize! You were the only one I ever saw, I ever wanted to be with..it was you..I admit I thought it wouldn’t take much to make you see me as more than just your best friend. That I should have tried harder, fought for you harder..but you just couldn’t look at me.”

 

“But I did Rosie..I still do..and you always used to look at me.” I take a moment, trying to memorize everything I can about her, “I know what I want for my prize now.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“You told me I won our little game right?”

 

“Jen..”

 

“Rosie..as my prize..” I take a deep breath, “I want you to forget about me.”

 

“Jennie.” Rosie frowned, taking a step forward, towards me.

 

“I missed you Rosie.” I smile, reach a hand out and cupping her face, my thumb smoothing over her cheek, “I’ll miss you. Take care okay.”I give her one last smile, before walking away.

 

“JENNIE!” She yells.

 

I turn around and shake my head, “For the record..you’re my number one.” I wave my hands over my head, a wide smile on my face. If this is the last image Rosie has of me, then I want it to be one with me smiling. I want her to remember me smiling.

 

Goodbye Rosie..

 

I wish I could have told you that I love you.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

A/n: The end?

 

Let me know what you think.

 

Oh and I know I’m still working on the Fearless collection but a friend and I were talking about bucket lists..and it’s going to be part of the next story. So tell me something on your bucket list /i’m plugging this in since no one replied on twitter sad...jk/

 

Till next time.

 

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