Epilogue
BLAMELESSATTORNEY MYOUI MINA'S POINT OF VIEW
"Yes, mom. I just arrived." I chuckle, she's been jumpy ever since I boarded the plane from Tokyo to Seoul. Typical. She's always been like this, worried, concerned, and just so kind. A mother. "You don't really have to worry about me, mom. I told you, the flight went well." I smile, she has always been attentive.
"I'm just making sure, honey." I knew, I just knew she was smiling when she said this. I can imagine her face, my mom, she's an amazing woman.
"Yeah, I know mom. I totally understand you." I tell her this because it's true. I understand her now, I didn't know all I needed was a few years in order to understand.
I was walking through Incheon airport, with my phone in my hand, and my luggage on the other hand, I know it's going to be a long day. Well, at least I'm home. That's the only thing that made me happy, being home. Years ago, if you'd tell me that I'd call South Korea as my home, I'd laugh at you. I'd say that would be impossible because there is no way in hell that would happen.
Jokes on me, I guess.
It's been more than a decade since I lived here, many things have changed, many things.
"Hey, mom. I need to cut the call now. My cab's here." I huff, I didn't want to cut the call but I need to be somewhere right now. "Yeah, maybe I can call you guys later?" I ask her.
"Okay, maybe if I'm not busy." Her kind voice soothes me, I miss her.
"Alright." I smiled, my hand holding the handle of the cab. "If we're not busy." I get inside the taxi and cut the call.
It's almost three in the afternoon, and regrettably, I still haven't had my coffee. I've been busy the whole time while I was in Japan since I wasn't there for family, I was there mainly for paperwork. But it was nice that I got to visit my parents, my brother, and his family. My niece was so adorable and my nephew was definitely such an energetic little boy, but it's nothing I couldn't handle. It was nice, quite refreshing too. I missed Japanese food, I can't really get good Japanese food around here. Besides, it's more convenient to eat Korean food for me now.
"That'll be ten dollars." Says the cashier. I had to look at her again.
"Jesus, iced americanos used to be three dollars." I whisper to myself, I didn't want to seem rude to the cashier, she seemed young, nervous, and probably a newbie at work. I pay and smile at her. With the drink in my hand, I stroll the streets of Seoul like I owned it. I miss this, all this walking. I barely get to do this since work requires a lot of time and attention, besides, that's not the only thing I'm busy about these days.
The sun was out, but it wasn't too hot. Good thing I decided to drop my luggage at the home, shower, and then go out. I'm lucky today's a free day for me, it's not every day that I get to enjoy some time for myself.
"Good god, that's good." I whisper to myself the moment I took the first sip from my drink. A caffein-addicted lawyer, that's how my co-workers describe me. Well, I think it's true. All lawyers are caffein addicted, how else would we survive this toxic work environment without the help of this liquid energy called coffee? I mean, coffee keeps the monster in me well-behaved.
Anyway, it's funny how I ended up being a lawyer here in Korea. Well, that was bound to happen when I chose to study here anyway. But my parents kept on encouraging me to go home and practice law in Japan. They didn't even care if that meant I needed to study and understand Japanese laws. They just wanted to see how things would go. My family wanted that, especially my mother. But I declined. I couldn't possibly waste more time on studying, can I? Besides, at the time, I just wanted to start working already.
I was so young and goal-driven. Now, I'm just goal-driven.
It was heartbreaking for my family to accept that I chose to live in a foreign country, of course, they had expected that I would return to Japan and be there with them. They expected I'd finish my master's degree in Japan, marry someone there, have a career, and build a family. They expected many things, to which, one by one I politely didn't do.
Things just happened, I guess? I mean, my parents weren't wrong when they asked me that. Back then, I didn't have that much to lose anyway. I had so little to bring with me if I ever really decided to go back to Japan, unlike now. Maybe that's why mom has never asked me to go home and study in Japan in the past ten years. Now, I have so much to lose. My parents understand that I've built a life of my own here in South Korea.
I pause when I reached my destination, I don't go to this place often. But I follow my instincts and go to where there were quite a few people. I bowed slightly to them and smile at them. They seemed a little taken aback, stunned even. Is it because they don't see me often? I have the right to be here too, you know. What's up with these nosy people?
"Excuse me. By any chance..." A woman slowly approaches me, she seemed friendly...Too friendly, she's definitely the type that talks about her friends behind their backs. "Are you new here? We've never seen you before." She was careful, trying to show off this friendly demeanor. Her friends were behind her back, obviously throwing me this fake friendly stare and vibe.
I've encountered lots of clients like you, maám. You can't fool me. I know the type.
"You seem awfully young to be here, miss." Says one of her friends, her hair was in a bun. She was wearing clothes that don't fit her. Maybe she wants to be comfortable? I just smile at them politely. To be honest, I don't want to engage in conversations with them.
"Thank you. I don't come here often, that's all." I timidly answer then, wishing they'd just let it go. I felt awkward, not really sure how to socialize outside of the work. "I work most of the time, that's why." I answer them immediately, trying to avoid any more conversation with them.
, I'm bad at this. I should learn more.
After talking to them, I pretend to scroll through my phone to avoid conversation. It felt like I was standing there for quite some time, maybe it was because no one was talking to me, but it was okay. I prefer it that way, I don't like engaging in conversations with people I do not of anyway, the act is such a foreign thing to me. Just as I was about to look up, my eyes meet them. One of the reasons why I had so much to lose if I left South Korea.
"Mommy!" Exclaims Woo-Jin, a bright smile plastered on his lips. "Yunho-ah! Mommy's here!" He almost hit his twin brother on the head, as usual, Yunho was spaced out again. It scares me how much this kid takes after me, even the little blank stare he does sometimes gives me the creeps.
"Mommy!" Yunho who was running behind Woo-jin finally let out a tiny scream, the two boys running towards me. At this age, kids really are full of energy, I'm just glad they're done with the terrible two's stage, that was really something.
"Oh, how have you guys been?" I asked them, both of them clung to each of my legs. I couldn't help but chuckle, it's amazing how these little brats make me smile. "Eomma missed you both so much." I smile, feeling their weight as they were still clinging to my legs, looking up at me with those round eyes. "Should we pick up your older sister too?" I ask them, they nod in sync.
"Yeah. We should do that, right?" I ask them, I need someone to help me look after them anyway. "Maybe we could go for ice cream after picking noona up? Eomma missed you guys so much." That was the magic word, ice cream. That was all they needed to hear so that they'd get off of me and drag me out of that Daycare Waiting shed. Of course, I had to wave at the other mothers goodbye too. I didn't want to make it seem like I didn't have manners.
"Mom, I'm starting to regret asking for siblings." My fifteen-year-old daughter gave me this look, she seemed so bothered. She couldn't help herself from trying to clean her little brother's mess. "Woojin-ah, do you have a whole in your chin? Why do you keep spilling ice cream?" She seemed stressed, trying to wipe the mess off of her brother's mouth.
The scene made me smile, my daughter grew up so much.
"Aera-yah, take it easy." I smile at home she stared at me, she seemed indifferent to my comment. She just kept wiping Woojin's chin. Aera, my fifteen-year-old daughter is my carbon copy. She looks exactly like me when I was fifteen years old but unlike my son Yunho, she's the exact opposite of me attitude-wise. She's a lively kid, a social butterfly, and she's tough. She's quite an outspoken girl too, she's not timid at all. It's amazing how I was able to produce a kid who looks like me but isn't me at the same time.
"Mommy, I wish we could do this often." Says Yunho, he was eating quietly the whole time. He'd only speak to his twin at times about stuff I didn't understand at all. He was sitting right beside me, without even thinking about it, I put my arm around him and pulled him close to me. I didn't really know how to respond to his request, I just felt guilty that most of my time is spent at work.
"Yunho-ah, mommy's working so that we could eat delicious food and go to good schools." Aera smiled, leaning in to touch her younger brother's chin. To this, Yunho smiled, it was like he forgot why he was sad a few seconds ago. I smile at Aera, she's a thoughtful kid.
"Anyway, mommy will make it up to you guys." I tell them. "When school's out, we can all go to Japan together and visit your grandparents. We can visit your uncle Kai so that you guys can meet your new baby cousin." I try to make them feel better. Aera's face lit up at the information, she smiled and nodded her head. Sometimes I forget she's still a kid. The twins were minding their own business, talking about legos and things I'm too old to understand.
After hanging out at the ice cream shop with the kids, we all decided to go home. It was a Friday night after all, and it was considered a rest day for the twins. So after dinner, I allowed them to watch television in the living room. However, Aera was approaching High School so she's working double time on her academics. As a mother, it's hard for me to look at her suffer like this. Most of the time I'm not at home and this was the first time I've ever witnessed how hard she's been working, it amazed me.
"Honey, don't you want to take a break? I've heard you've been experiencing nose bleeds quite a lot lately." I was standing behind her when I said this, my hand on her chair. She didn't bother to look up, she just shrugged and sighed.
"Eomma, was it difficult for you too? You know, when you were trying to get in High School?" She looked up, and thought about how I was supposed to answer her question. I walked over to her bed and sat down, thinking really hard.
"Well, you know, it was difficult too but I wasn't as stressed as you are." I huffed, trying to remember my high school days.
"What does that even mean?" She gave me this nasty gaze as if telling me what I said made no sense. "Anyway, was High School fun? What was high school like for you, eomma?" She had this hopeful look on her face.
"Well, eomma went to an all-girls school Catholic High School in Japan." I start off, her eyes brightened.
"Eomma, I want that too." She was all smiles when she said this. I had to look at her for a few seconds.
"Aera-yah, it's better for you to go to a mixed High School. That way, you won't experience culture shock when you enter University." I tell her the truth, she had this pouty look on her face.
"But what if I really want to? You'd allow me, right?" She asked cutely. I had to smile at her, she's a cute kid, charming.
"Well, then, we'll have to look into our options. Alright?" I tell her, she smiled at me and nodded.
"By the way, eomma." She starts off. I had to stare at her again and nod my head to indicate that I am listening. "I appreciated that you picked us all up from school today. I know how tired you are since you just got back from Japan. But anyway, Woojin and Yunho were both so happy, would you ever do that again? It would be nice if the five of us did that once in a while." She smiled, and that was when I realized how much my kids missed me.
"The five of us? Yes. I'd be delighted to do that sometime." I stand up and give her a light pat on the forehead. "Study hard, tiger. Maybe we can discuss your plans for High School sometime? Three of us, alright?" I add and then got out of her room to give her some alone time.
When I was successfully able to put the twins to bed, I went to my room and showered. It already ten in the evening at that time, and even if I was tired, I admit that it was difficult for me to fall asleep so I decided to video call, Kai, and my sister-in-law. Good thing is, they were able to answer the call and we were able to chat for some time.
"So, have you enrolled the twins to Japanese language Schools yet?" Asked my sister-in-law, I nodded at her.
"Yeah, both Woojin and Yunho have started to learn Nihongo already." I reply.
"How old are they again?" Asked my brother who was right beside my sister-in-law. They were in bed, just talking to me casually.
"They just turned five, same age as Aera when she started learning Nihongo." I tell them the details, they were eagerly listening, or so I thought they are. "Anyway, you guys are back to zero again with that second baby. You guys getting any sleep?" I ask them, they just shook their head. They seemed sad, I just laugh because the feeling is all too familiar.
When we had Woojin and Yunho, sleep was a luxury. At the time, the last time we had a newborn was ten years prior already. Unlike Aera, Woojin, and Yunho were colic babies. The fact that we had identical twins meant double the trouble, but we're all past that now, thankfully. Now, Woojin and Yunho are in Kindergarten and each day their personalities become more noticeable and different.
Woojin is an active kid, very social, and loves sports. He's a little ball of energy that needs the proper guidance in order to reach his full potential. I started noticing this when they were still toddlers, Woojin loves to socialize with people and he was a chatty kid. On the other hand, Yunho takes after me. Now that he's growing up, I'm starting to notice little expressions and mannerisms that are from me. He's a soft-spoken boy, who's very gentle and observing. When he was a toddler, he was more warry of people, I mean, he didn't necessarily cry around people but he preferred being around me.
"You're alone again? You just got back from Japan and you're sleeping alone?" Asks Kai, this made Nako lightly hit him on the head. He flinched and gave his wife a blank stare.
"You even leave me to sleep alone sometimes! Do you hear Mina complaining about that?" Nako seemed embarrassed for my brother but I just had to laugh it off. "People need to work, Kai. Love won't be able to put food on the table." Added Nako.
"Sister-in-law is right, stop being so nosy." I roll my eyes at him, then suddenly, we hear their newborn baby crying. The noises were all coming from the baby monitor, Kai gave me this dreadful look to which I just had shrug off. "It's going to be okay, Kai. You can do it." I laugh at him and that commenced the end of our video call.
That night, I slept alone. I knew when Kai said that, he didn't really think of how I'd feel. But whatever, right?
"We all live different lives." I whisper to myself, feeling that the bed indeed is too big for one person.
On most days, I have to report to work on Saturdays. Since I took the time off yesterday, I opted to wake up extra early, prepare breakfast for the kids, and eat with them and then go to work after.
"This is new." My only daughter stifled a chuckle, I've always known when she's being sarcastic. She's my daughter after all. "Good to see you this morning, mom." She had this look in her eyes that just came off as mischievous.
"Are the twins awake yet?" I ask her as I place the food on the table. "Well?" I ask her again, this time I looked up. She was already sitting down, staring at me blankly.
"The twins don't wake up until ten in the morning, mom." Maybe she expected me to know all this, but I just had to stare at her. The sunrise seeping through the curtains, it seemed like it was going to be a good day.
"Is that so? Well, looks like it's going to be only you and me then." I smile, placing a piece of meat on her bowl of rice. "Eat well." I add.
Aera has grown up a lot, and day by day, I feel like I'm missing out on so much. There we were, sitting down and eating breakfast. We were talking about School and random things, it was all good, I still had quite some time to spare before heading out for work.
"Eomma, how many people did you date until you finally settled down and got married?" Her question caught me off-guard, I knew questions like this would come, but I expected she'd ask me this stuff when she's already in University.
"Why are you suddenly asking me that question?" I ask her. "By any chance, are you seeing someone?" I ask her, hoping that she'd say no because good lord my daughter is too young to date someone at the young age of 15. No way.
"Eomma, I know you're used to interrogating people and answering questions with questions." I never knew she was this smart. She's got my brains, I guess. "But, I'm growing up and I've got lots of questions inside my head, you're always busy and the twins are too young! They don't understand me at all." She complained.
A daughter needs her mother after all.
"Well, answer my question first. Are you seeing someone?" I ask her. "It's okay, eomma just wants to know!" I try to convince her once more.
"I'm not dating anyone, you guys have forbidden me to do so. Remember? Not until I get into University." She gave me this nasty look. "Whatever that means..." She whispered. I had to stare at her for a few seconds, I wasn't really sure where this was going.
"Eomma liked people when she was in High School and in University." I answer her. "But, dating wasn't really my thing." I smiled at her, trying to recall the past was blurry and quite burdensome.
The past is in the past, I have my children now and they are all that matter.
"Well, in that case, who did you like the most?" She asked me, I had to stare at her. I didn't know what to say, I wasn't prepared for questions like this. "Someone must've stood out, right? One person." She said this so casually while eating some of her food. I can't believe that my own daughter is making me nervous with all these questions.
"Oh my goodness. You really want to get to know eomma that much, huh?" I leaned in to ruffled her hair, she nodded. "Well, maybe I can tell you stories next time!" I smile at her, I realized it was almost time for work already.
I wish there was a guide or a book that taught parents how to answer their Kid's questions. There should also be categories and degrees as to how difficult the questions are. Who says parents become parents the moment their kids are born into this world? No one. Because the truth is, even at this age, I'm still learning lots of things about parenting. They grow up every day and they develop their own beliefs and views.
There is so much I need to learn about my kids. Especially Aera. She's grown into such a curious kid.
Typing and clicking, you'll hear that all over the law-firm. When lawyers are not working with clients, they are in their offices. This job involves lots and lots of paper works, lots to fill-up. When you're a lawyer you're supposed to be detail-oriented, everything needs to organized, your papers, thoughts, arguments, defense, and all that .
", should I just quit while I still have a few years going on for me?" I whisper to myself, I was mid-way in typing another paperwork. I stare at the cursor just blinking away, it looks so stupid. Maybe because it was mid-day or just because the keyboard sounds were just so consistent that it felt like a lullaby, but I, Attorney Myoui MIna lost herself in her own thoughts. An image of a girl I once knew popped inside my head, beautiful, young, and ball of energy and sunshine.
I remember the first time I met her, I just got back from Japan and we were expecting new roommates. Everyone was huddled around me, asking me questions about my travel. I was there, listening to my then roommates ask me questions, and of course, I answered them one by one. I was there when two new girls caught my attention. The shorter one got my attention more, probably because of the way she's just shamelessly staring at me. I had to chuckle, could be she be more obvious?
Plain Looking.
That was how I saw her the first time. She wasn't noisy back then, she was just a shy kid trying to introduce herself to her new roommate. All the other sounds were drowned out, I didn't really want to listen to their questions. There she was, staring like a child.
“Oh! These are our new roomies. This smol bean here is Son Chaeyoung. That Tree over there is Chou Tzuyu.” Said Sana, I remember her casually pointing at the new girls simultaneously. I couldn't help but smile at her, she seemed shy but eager. I reached my hand out to her, and that was when she smiled at me very sweetly. I can't forget that smile.
"Hello, Chaeng. My name is Myoui Mina. You can call me Mina unnie." I remember telling her this. I casually ran my fingers through my hair too, and that was when I asked myself, did I just flirt with the new girl?
The next day, the older girls decided that it was cool to have dinner together. I can't remember much but I knew I sang during that thing. I knew, right before the music played, I kept trying to get a hold of that new girl's gaze, but then I realized she was sitting with Momo. And then, when our eyes met, she innocently mouthed the word "FIGHTING" and that made me wonder if she was flirting with me too.
_____
To be honest, at the time, I told myself that all we had was this friendly flirting thing or whatever they call that. That was it. At 22, I told myself that dating this newbie is a big NO for two reasons. One, I liked someone else at the time. Two, we were roommates. The thought of still living with her if things went south was just impossible. I knew I wasn't going to allow that.
But life doesn't go our way, right? Flirting, so much flirting happened between us. Tension, whenever we conversed, I'd feel it. Until the tension became unbearable. The tension was finally released when we kissed at Jihyo's rest house. Then, she said...
"Mina, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” She seemed genuinely sorry as if kissing me was such a bad thing. I wanted her to hold me, but no, she just moved away. I felt like . At the time, I should've just laughed it off. But I was moody back then.
"Is that all you can say? You’re sorry?” I immediately replied. I remember. “Leave me alone.” I was one angsty motherer in my early twenties, that's for sure.
_____
After that, things started to fall apart in our dormitory. Jung Minwoo. I can still remember his face. It may have been years, but, I can still remember everything. The girl, Chaeyoung, we started off very rocky. It was like we never had a rest and it felt like we weren't meant for each other.
BANG.
I can hear it ringing inside my head.
BANG.
Traumatising. Everything after that night was awful.
BANG.
I still have nightmares about it. I do.
"Attorney." A voice brings me back to reality. I jolt up, realizing I've been reminiscing way too much. "Attorney Myoui, are you okay?" the intern inquires me once again, she had this concerned look on her face.
"I'm okay." I nervously replied. A burst of unnecessary laughter came out of me. The intern then smiled at me awkwardly, probably thinking how awkward this middle-aged woman is. . "It's uh..." I turned my phone on and checked the time. "It's one in the afternoon already, I'm going to head out now." I nervously smile at her, picking my things as fast as I could. I need a break.
"Work hard, Kiddo." I awkwardly pat the top of her head before getting out of there. Genius.
Before going home, I stopped by a coffee shop. I needed my americano. Today overwhelmed me, for sure. The weather seemed nice, and the cafe that I visited is sort of hippie. You know, the type that not everyone visits but amazingly serves you good coffee? Yeah, that type. I just like places like this, it's more peaceful than your local Starbucks coffeeshop. As I enjoyed my iced americano, I received a text message.
From: Mini-me, Aera 💕
-Eomma, are you going home soon? Yunho
and Woojin want fried Chicken. They've been
blabbering about it ever since they woke up.
Can you please bring some home?
To: Mini-me, Aera 💕
-I'm on my way home, darling.
Do you want anything else?
Something sweet?
From: Mini-me, Aera 💕
-Eomma, I don't like sweets.
Just bring me whatever . I don't care.
To: Mini-me, Aera 💕
-Okay, I'll bring you
whatever then. Do you like peaches?
From: Mini-me, Aera 💕
Strawberries, eomma.
To: Mini-me, Aera 💕
K.
"This kid." I chuckle to myself as I enjoyed the view outside. It's amazing how calm everything is in my life right now, steady, happy, just...Still. I see a group of University students outside, laughing, and just teasing each other. Oh, those were the days. Sleepless nights, studying, partying, goofing around, waking up from a bad hangover, and then magically bouncing back an hour later.
"How the hell did time fly by that fast?" I ask myself, then, I realized that it wasn't only me who had aged. Everyone did. My mom, my dad, my brother, and even my friends from the dorms. It really is true, time stops for no one. It feels like it was only yesterday when the girls and I were in the same place as these University students. Now, we all have our own lives. We're still us but with more to lose, I think. Once we lived together, now, we're living completely different and separate lives.
It's funny how unexpected things happen to people. They say it's always the ones you least expect that would shock you. Almost two years after the accident happened, when both Sana and Dahyun finally were able to graduate, everyone chipped in to give them a graduation gift. In my mind, I was thinking of maybe treating them to dinner, but, Jihyo and Jeongyeon unnie had the brilliant idea of sending them off to Las Vegas. Yes, we all chipped in to send them to have a vacation in Las Vegas.
I know, looking back now, I still think it was a terrible idea.
Back then, Jeongyeon and Nayeon were celebrating an anniversary? I can't quite remember. Anyway, the reason why both the oldest wanted to bring Sana and Dahyun to Las Vegas was that the tickets were on sale. Anyway, as you all know, many things happen in Las Vegas. With all the gambling, shows, fun, and of course, Alcohol, it would be so easy to just act on instinct.
2022
"I never wanted to get married to you, anyway!" Kim Dahyun shouts at the top of her lungs. We knew she wasn't the type to shout unless frustrated or provoked. Anyway, she seemed drunk and really out of it. We were in the middle of drinking and eating, everyone in the table stared at her, our jaws dropped. Sana just stared at her, she was drunk too. She was seated together with her current girlfriend, her arms around the girl. I can't quite remember that girl's name since that girl and Sana broke up two weeks after the commotion.
"What the hell is happening?!" Asks Momo, she was confused as ever. She literally had to put her food down to listen. Everyone in the table was becoming extremely noisy now. It has been days since they got back from the Vacation. Is this the reason why no one really said anything about the trip? Did the older girls instruct them to shut up? They probably thought they could figure everything out on their own.
Sana was there, sitting, not saying anything. She just stared at Kim Dahyun. At the time, we never understood what the hell was going on. "I'm too broke to book a flight back to America and get a divorce! I can't do anything about this and I hate it. I hate all of it." That was the first time we've seen her cry. She sounded pained, and that was when Jeongyoen and the other older girls took Dahyun away.
"You guys are ing married?! What the hell were you guys thinking?!" Exclaims Jihyo. I remember that night ending early and the two not speaking to each other for days.
Present Time
It's just a funny story now, it's something we just look at back and laugh. Besides, Sana and Dahyun ended up not divorcing, which was an amazing thing itself already. Now, they're both living in California with their two children, one adopted and one biological. Sana has become a licensed dermatologist while Kim Dahyun owns and runs her own chain of convenience store. Even though they started off very rocky, and it took them a very long time to get together, when they decided to settle down, they just stuck like that. I'm happy for them, I really am. I never expected they'd end up together.
"I'm home!" I greet everyone when I arrived home with food. You know what they say, kids greet the food first before greeting their own mother. There they were, Woojin and Yunho jumping up and down because they were excited to see Chicken. They're not excited to see their own mother.
The twins were chanting the word chicken, I was tired so I just placed the whole box on the table. Aera was there too, she seemed bored. "Let's eat?" she asked before completely ignoring my response as she got plates for everyone.
"Have you been nice today? I hope you didn't give your sister a difficult time." I place each my hands on top of their heads, ruffling their hairs.
"Would it be a normal day if they didn't drain me?" Aera shrugged, placing all the plates on the table. She's starting to whine again.
"Don't say that about your brothers." I try to sound stern, Aera just shrugged. "Woojin-ah, Yunho-ah. Can you please be nice to your sister." I also ask the kids to do the same thing.
It was a good afternoon, all in all. The kids behaved pretty well and when they finished eating, I allowed them to play with the video game consoles. I don't usually let them play because of course, studies first. Also, they are still kids so I really think it would only be right to restrict them of this stuff. The twins were too happy to leave Aera and me by ourselves. That was okay too since I find talking to my daughter quite lovely.
"You went to the same University as auntie Jihyo and uncle Daniel, right eomma?" she asked me this so casually, I shook my head.
"Auntie Jihyo and Uncle Daniel went to different Universities." I correct my daughter. "But I was dormmates with Auntie Jihyo for a long time. Why are asking this all so suddenly, by the way?" I ask her, my daughter had this indifferent look on her face.
"Auntie Jihyo called me. She asked me to remind you about the brunch next week." She had this bored look plastered all over her face. "Funny, right? She complained you rarely answer your phone." She laughs at me.
"Eomma has just been very busy with you and the twins." I tell her, I knew Jihyo was right. I rarely answer my phone and I'm just too preoccupied.
2023
Everyone knew this would happen sooner or later, we actually expected that these guys would get married first. At this point, Kim Dahyun and Kim Sana (She introduces herself as MInatozaki Sana when she's out), were still working on some things. From what I remember, they still were a little awkward at this point but forced themselves to be friends for the sake of Jihyo and Daniel.
But anyway, Kang Daniel finally grew some balls and asked our dearest Park Jisoo the question. Kang Daniel wasn't the flashy type of guy, according to Jihyo, he kept it simple. They were having dinner at Daniel's place, and then, he asked her. Just like that. Simple.
During their wedding, all their friends were there and of course, family. It was solemn since they only invited people who were close to their hearts. We all knew that at the time, Jihyo was too young but Daniel promised her that the marriage will not hinder her from reaching her dreams.
As she walked down the aisle, people clapped and people cried. I could still remember it like it was yesterday. Growth. That was the first time we all realized during the wedding. We all realized that we were growing up and that soon, we will all be apart. Was I sad when I thought about it? A little. But I knew this was all for the best and that this is how everything is supposed to be.
"Congratulations, Missis Kang." We greet her when she visited us at our dinner table. That night, she looked beautiful, elegant, and amazing.
Present Time
Jihyo and Daniel were technically the first ones to get married for real in our group, they were the first ones to have children too. "Anyway, I think auntie Jihyo is a cool pre-school teacher. She's way prettier than most of the pre-school teacher here in Seoul." Says my daughter.
"True." was all that I could say.
"I mean, all my aunties are pretty." She shrugged, this made me nod my head. I guess we were pretty during our prime. We're all old now, so, youth isn't really on our side anymore.
"Anyway, eomma." She calls my attention. The background noise from the videogames the twins were playing can be heard even in the Kitchen.
"Woojin-ah, Yunho-ah. Please turn the volume down, alright?" I call their attention. With big smiles on their faces, they turned to me almost in sync and nodded their heads, turning the volume down moments later. "Why, Aera? Are you still curious about who eomma like the most?" I ask her, she seemed hesitant but I see her nod at me timidly.
"Eomma..." I start off. "Eomma likes Aera, Yunho, and Woojin the most." I answer her. She had this look on her face that suggested she wasn't going to take this kind of answer.
"I mean, like dating! Who did you like the most among the people you have dated in the past!" She seemed eager, I had to just smile.
"Well." I try to formulate a way to tell her the story without making it too complicated for a fifteen-year-old girl like her. "Eomma met someone back in 2019." I start, I am still a little unsure of how to relay the story to her. I am scared and a little hesitant as to how to tell the story to my daughter without making it completely destroying my image in her mind.
Because in that story, I was such a villain.
2020
Screaming, there was a lot of screaming. I was crying, tears flowed like my tear glands were trying to make fun of me. Inside Seoul National University, Police were circling two bodies laying on the concrete, blood all over the floor. There was a surge of fear that struck me the moment I saw flood gushing out of Jung Minwoo's body. I knew she could have been hurt too. Son Chaeyoung could have been hurt too. At the time, I just never knew the severity of the accident.
"CHAEYOUNG-AH!" I cried, using all of my energy to shout and wriggle out of the grasp of both Momo and Tzuyu. They were too strong, I was there, on the floor, wriggling and trying to have my way. "CHAEYOUNG!" I call out again, tears flowing out of my eyes. This time, I knew, it was serious. I couldn't hear anything from her. The fear of having her gone from my life consumed me. "SON CHAEYOUNG ANSWER ME!!" I tried my best to wriggle once again, this time successfully getting out of their grasp. Quickly I tried my best to run to her and see how she was, only to be tackled by the others.
"Minari, please don't do this. You might hurt her more, please." Cries Momo, I couldn't help it, I felt so defeated.
Present Time
"Can't you describe more?" She asked. She seemed frustrated about how little information I'm giving her, I had to chuckle.
"Well, we've still got tomorrow. Why don't we continue this discussion tomorrow?" I ask her, all these flashbacks...It's giving me a headache. She seemed disappointed, but I knew she's an understanding kid. "Eomma needs to work on some stuff, you can play with your little brothers if you want to?" I tell her, she had this blank stare. It felt like she was staring through me.
The kids weren't really up for home-cooked food during the evening, so I decided to order pizza and just chill. I know that's irresponsible parenting but what can I say? Giving them pizza is way easier than cooking them something.
"The kids are growing up way too fast. Aera is starting to ask me questions that I never even asked my own mother." I sigh, sipping from my wine glass. It was already night time and I've decided to sip on some wine to help me fall asleep faster.
"God, it's funny how you gave birth to that kid, gave her all your features, and then Aera turning out as your complete opposite. She's like Mina 2.0. Sassy Mina." Says Nayeon, they were eating dinner while chatting with me. They probably had lots of customers today, they seem tired.
"I know, it's really weird. When we visit you guys in Seoul, and we'd see her, she would give us this tough stare. And the way she talks? She's not soft at all." Laughs Jeongyeon.
"I know. The kids are just maturing way too quickly, I just feel like I'm missing out on so much." I confess. I never thought I'd feel like a ty mother, but now, I feel like I am. I barely have the time to talk to them and I feel like I don't know them.
"Hey, Minari. Who said mothers are supposed to be perfect?" Asks Jeongyeon, she's eating in between pauses of our conversation.
"Yeah, Jeongyeon's right. We understand your struggle, I mean, you're doing a great job raising well-mannered kids." Adds Nayeon. "Look, you work long hours on the weekdays, sometimes on weekends too. I don't understand why you blame yourself. Your kids turned out well Mina." She tries to console me, I had to smile. These idiots really are my best friends.
"Look, if I were, to be honest, it baffles me how you have the energy to take care of three kids. Nayeon and I barely have the energy to be the perfect parents to Byeol." Says Jeongyeon, I had to stare at her and nod my head.
"She's right. One time, she got teased at school for having two mothers. You know what I told her?" Nayeon asked me. The story intrigued me. "Tell her what I said our daughter, honey." She casually orders Jeongyeon who was half-way into finishing her soup.
"She said..." She trails off, trying to wipe . "Byeol-ah, you're almost in fourth grade now. If you get in trouble for punching that kid in the face, I will vouch for you." Says Jeongyeon rather proudly, shooting Nayeon this smile.
"Oh god." was all I could say.
"I mean, what kind of mother encourages their child to punch people in the face?" Asks Joengyeon.
"Honestly, it's the ignorance in the countryside that just makes my blood boil. If we were living in Seoul, I'm sure there would be bullying too but not like this." Sighs Nayeon.
"Thank god Byeol doesn't take after her mother. If she ever did, she would've gladly knocked that bully out." Jeongyeon had this blank look on her face.
Same- marriage became legal in South Korea in the year 2025. It was a long and difficult fight. There were a lot of supportive people in my office, said nice things about the then bill. But when it became a law, true colors emerged and I knew who really had my back. That year, I was still scared, a big coward of what life is going to be for me in the future.
2025
"Why are you consulting me?" I ask them, realizing, the reason why they dragged me to dinner. They even promised to buy me dessert and coffee after. "I mean, I'm still trying to get my masters." I whisper, they had to stare at me for quite a bit, I knew they were a little flustered with the way I replied.
"Since, the law just passed, we would like to ask for a consultation." Says Nayeon softly. She seemed shy about the whole thing, I just had to stare at her for quite some time.
"Minari, you know, dinner and dessert is definitely under your fee. But we promise to make it up to you!" Says Jeongyeon.
I just had to stare at them, I was happy but also a little skeptical because I just feel like they were moving too fast.
"We want to get married." They say this in a very in-sync way. I knew. They didn't really have to tell me. The moment they got inside the restaurant with their flashy rings, I knew something was about to go down. I just nod, they didn't really have to explain things to me. I knew someday this would happen, and I'm more than happy to be of help to my closest friends.
Present Time
Many things happened in the year 2025. At the time, everyone in our friend group has already graduated and have moved out of the dorms. The news about same- marriage rocked our friend group as well. Some questioned Nayeon and Jeongyeon about their choice of getting married. By some, I mean none other than Mrs. Kang Jihyo, their closest friend. She was so direct and very blunt about things.
Because of the news, somehow, Jihyo acted a little harshly saying things like how can two women possibly build a home. A big fight happened during dinner time. Nayeon and Jeongyeon asked her why she was being homophobic all of a sudden. After that, people stormed out of the venue. The three of them didn't really talk for years after that commotion happened.
"God, do you remember when the first time we saw Jihyo again was on our daughter's first birthday?" Asked Jeongyeon, she had this wide grin on her face. "I never thought we'd make up after that big fight at the restaurant." She chuckled.
"Yeah, we were so hurt back then." Chuckles Nayeon, reminiscing that night.
I know the story, and I know Jihyo was just an added factor to their aching hearts. The night before the dinner happened, the couple came out to both their parents. They asked for their parent's permission to get married. Let's just say both their parents immediately wanted to disown them, saying they didn't want 'dykes' in their families.
Because of that, the two of them got together, packed their stuff, and moved to where Nayeon's grandmother lived. Halmeoni has passed already, but the couple couldn't forget her kindness and acceptance. With the little amount they've saved up from their corporate jobs, they decided to build their own business in the countryside; a bakery/restaurant. I remember everything like it was yesterday, the struggles both of them went through. Nayeon and Jeongyeon suffered a lot because of their decision to get together. One of the hardest parts was conceiving their only daughter, Byeol.
They almost experienced bankruptcy just to have her. All the visits in the fertility clinic, all the tests, all the stigma, and the nonexistent support of both their parents almost broke them apart. But then, Byeol came. That little girl brought luck to their home, she was like this little glue. She brought everyone together. Of course, it wasn't perfect. Arguments still existed but at least, both sides of their family are now civil and can eat in one table during gatherings without saying foul words. It's great, I'm happy for them.
The only thing they had to do now is actually get married. Maybe it was because of the hurtful words and stigma back then? Maybe also the pressure and preparation, but somehow, Nayeon and Jeongyeon never got married. They wear their rings proudly, and I wish there would come a time when they would finally celebrate their union.
"I'm proud of you guys." I smile at them, they've come so far. I couldn't imagine experiencing all the trouble they went through.
"Look at you, you're being all sentimental and ." Says Nayeon casually, because of this, Jeongyeon had to lightly smack her on the arm.
"Our daughter's asleep, and no cursing inside the house. She might copy you." Warns Jeongyeon, because of this I just had to chuckle. We're old now, who would've thought we'd discuss stuff like this someday?
Not more than an hour after video-calling Nayeon and Jeongyeong, I had to put the kids to sleep. I mean, only the twins since I've let Aera have autonomy over her sleep schedule. If she wakes up tired the next day, it's not my fault since she did that to herself. That's one parenting hack I learned from my parents. Maybe when the twins are a little older, I'll impose that on them too.
That night, I had a dream. Even though it was a dream, I knew that it was something that had happened. In my head, I knew it was something from my memory. When we had the twins, we sort of expected that they would progress just like Aera. However, Aera said her first words early unlike the twins who started walking first. Between the two, Yunho was the first one who started talking.
As I said, Yunho favors me more. He's a mama's boy. His first word? Eomma.
In my dream, we were in the living room. Aera was only starting to become a smart-mouth by then, she was only eleven anyway.
Love.
There was so much love in our home, especially that the twins were here. We all were clapping, cheering Yunho for blabbering. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it was to boost his confidence.
"P-pa." Out of nowhere toddler Woojin blurts out. Everyone's attention was now directed to him. Saliva dribbling out of his mouth, I can hear Aera laughing loudly.
"What was that, Woojin-ah?" I ask him, trying to make him say it again. I was also chuckling at this point.
"Woojinnie~ Our Woojinnie~." Aera coos the youngest, Yunho was in my arms. It seemed like he was also intently listening.
"P-pa." Woojin says this again, clapping his hands together in the process. "Appa!" He shouts, revealing his growing baby teeth, drool coming out of his mouth. We all were laughing and clapping in the process. It was amusing and funny.
"It's that show, you know, The return of Superman."
Then I woke up.
"Should we go to Han river and have a picnic?" I ask them my kids, it was a Sunday and there wasn't really anything to do at home. When I was younger, I would pick sleeping in on Weekends, playing video games, reading books, watching movies, and eating good food. Basically just staying at home. But now that I'm a mother, I need to do my best to make my children's childhood memorable and wonderful. I can't be selfish, can I? Besides, I think it's going to be fun.
Aera was in her pajamas just staring at me, she was probably shaken with how I'm getting so involved lately. The twins, of course, happy about the offer were jumping up and down.
Since it was the weekend, the place is crowded. Before finding a spot, we had to rent things that we would use for the day. Anyway, we got there when it was probably two in the afternoon. The good thing is it wasn't hot outside, if it was, it would have been a total deal-breaker.
Since we were spending some time outside, instead of letting the twins play with gaming devices, I opted to bring storybooks with big illustrations. The original idea was to bring a ball. Good thing my daughter was there to remind me that bringing a ball might lead to accidents.
At around four in the afternoon, the younger ones started to fall asleep on the mat. So that left me and Aera awake, just doing our own thing.
"But Eomma." Aera calls my attention. I had to look up and ask her what the matter was. "I saw that coffee shop, you know, the one you're saying that auntie Tzuyu runs?"
"Yeah? What about it?" I ask her.
"One is being constructed in our area, have you seen it?" She asks, I shook my head. "Well, we should go there during the grand opening!" She offers.
"That's a wonderful idea, honey." I tell her, placing my phone on the mat to not hinder us from conversing. "Auntie Tzuyu's real successful now, huh?" I ask her, she smiled at me and nodded her head.
It was amazing, our youngest is reeling in thousands of dollars because of her coffee shop franchise. It was like yesterday when I met her, she seemed so timid. But now? We can't even reach her.
2037
After five years of marriage with her Husband, Chou Tzuyu has decided to divorce Millionaire Tycoon Dylan Guo. This was the headline of the news article that we all found online. We were in shock, to say the least.
At first, everyone in our friend group couldn't believe it. It wasn't something that we heard directly from Tzuyu since at this point, it was difficult to talk to her since she is a very busy businesswoman running their family business. We were only able to know of the news through Social Media. We all felt awkward reaching out to her since it has been some time since we conversed with her. Her husband, a wealthy businessman wanted his wife to help him so badly to the point we sort of lost contact with her. For us, that was such a sad thing but it's something that happens.
In the months prior to the divorce, our friend group always asked "Do you guys think our youngest still thinks of us?" And then we would just laugh it out. We weren't aware of the situation she was really in since she's decided to slowly cut our connection.
We weren't really sad when this happened, we all knew there must be a reason as to why the divorce has to happen. Something in their relationship must've gone sour. But the good thing was our youngest was able to take custody of their two-year-old son at the time. She can throw her ex-husband anyway, but not her child. We were happy enough about that at least.
Present Time
We all decided it was time to go home at around five-thirty in the evening. We also stopped to buy groceries on our way home since we were running low on food and I want to cook them home-cooked meal since I've only managed to feed the kids fast-food over the weekend. The twins were asleep in the backseat while Aera listened to music, it was calm and serene. I loved it this way.
When we got home, I allowed the younger ones to play video games while I asked Aera to help me prepare dinner. She was so nice about it. We conversed about things, about her plans for High School, funny things that happened last week, and just anything. It felt nice to talk to my daughter like she is my best friend.
"But Aera, do you think it would be a good idea to enroll the twins to ballet?" I ask her, hoping she would answer me honestly. She had this nonchalant look on her face while slicing the vegetables.
"I mean, if they like it!" She answers me. "To be honest, I think going to ballet classes would be a lot better than just doing that." She points at the twins playing videogames. I had to chuckle.
"Think about it, you started going to Hip-hop classes when you were five. If your brothers turn out to have the same dedication as you, then I'd have a family of dancers!" I chuckle. She smiled at me.
"If we lived in Japan, do you think you guys would have still enrolled me to a dance class?" She asked, now concentrating on chopping the vegetables. I had to smile because the answer is yes.
"Yeah." I snicker. "I would've put you in your aunt Momo's class. I'm pretty sure she's as good as your dance teacher now." I chuckle. "Maybe even better." I hype my friend up.
2034
Hirai Momo, she was the last one to get married among all of us. Right after graduating, Momo worked for corporate companies in South Korea for years before deciding it was time for her to go home in Japan. It wasn't a surprising decision because we knew it was going to happen one way or another. Not more than a couple of years since she moved back to Japan, we all received an invite to her wedding. We all were in shock since we weren't aware she was dating anyone at all. But I guess that happens, right? Anyway, I couldn't forget that day because my only daughter fell sick on the day of my supposed flight.
I knew in my heart that they would understand.
Momo got married in Hawaii, she's always told us that she wanted to get married there. I felt sorry, and l felt like a total for ditching her wedding. But my then five-year-old daughter needed me and I know if I went to Hawaii, I will just constantly think of her. I didn't want to ruin their wedding, so instead, I sent her a video of me giving her a heartfelt message. I knew the video-greeting wasn't enough but luckily, because Momo is such an understanding person, she never made me feel bad about my decision.
Present Time
"Did you know your aunt Momo worked in the corporate world here in South Korea before becoming a dance teacher?" I continue. My daughter was just there, chopping away, not really listening anymore.
Momo and her Husband do not have kids, we all know it is a sensitive topic for her. So as much as possible, we do not send that much content about our kids in the group chat, we don't want her to feel bad. We all know that they're both trying to conceive, but according to her, hubby does not agree with the idea of conceiving their child in the lab. In other words, the husband thinks they shouldn't visit a fertility clinic.
She's got a stubborn husband, I guess.
After talking about her aunt Momo, Aera didn't really say much. We just prepared dinner and then called the twin's attention when dinner was ready. The dinner was okay, maybe a little messy because of the younger ones but all in all, it went pretty smooth.
"Did you enjoy this weekend?" I ask my daughter.
"Yes, I surprisingly did." She smiles while piling the dishes and placing it all on the sink.
"Surprisingly?" I ask her, a little taken aback because of the word she chose.
"Well, I don't get to hang out with you a lot." She turned to me. "Come on, Mom. I got to talk to you. Also, I got to know a little about you." She shrugs.
"Well, it was cool to know you too." I pat the top of her head lovingly.
"So will you tell me more about that person you met in 2019?" She smiled, it was like I was looking at a mirror.
"Jesus, you won't give up will you?" I ask her, chuckling in the process.
We both decided to sit down. We were seated across each other, in the kitchen table. Our chin resting on our palms, elbows propped on the tabled. The noise from the living room can be heard in the kitchen. We specifically chose to have an open kitchen, through that our home would seem bigger and spacious.
"What do you want to know?" I finally give in.
"Anything random, really." She shrugs, making it seem like this conversation wasn't really that big of a deal to her. Something random? Anything? Anything at all? Alright.
"That person, once said the lamest joke." I tell my daughter.
Aera seemed a little confused, she seemed like she wanted to say something or maybe ask something. But then, we hear the front door sensors alarming us that the door is opening. I casually stare at the door. Aera also paused, waiting. The silence was followed by footsteps, then the twin who was in the living room suddenly paused. Woojin being like the kid that he is, dropped his controller when he saw who just came in.
"Papa!" He giggled, running towards the door and jumping. That was when I heard Aera laughing loudly, I knew she was the instigator of this.
"Did you teach him that?" I ask her, trying to stifle my laughter. This has always been our inside joke even since Woojin said his first words.
"What?" She chuckles, shrugging in the process. "Since they've started leaning Nihonggo already, why not teach him?" She laughs.
"You know how much your mother hates that." I try my best to sound strict, but failing ultimately.
Then the both of them emerged, Woojin in her arms. Yunho was now silently tip-toeing his way to receive his hugs, but then failed because Woojin got dibs first. Yunho then decides he's just going to hug her leg, tightly like a leech.
"Son Woojin, is that how you greet your mom?" She huffs, Woojin knew what he did. He just chuckled, falling into his mother's shoulders.
"Eomma, I missed you." Yunho's voice is tiny, Chaeyoung had to look down and realize that someone had already clung to her legs. Aera stood up and retrieved her mother's luggage, placing it on the sofa. I was just there, watching them.
"Welcome home, mom." She smiles. However, she stared at me. She seemed disappointed.
"The kids are already flocking over me and you're just there staring at me? Woman, I haven't seen you in over a week. I demand that you come over here and give me my kiss." The kids broke apart, Woojin demanding to be put down because they're probably grossed out at the attempt of affection. I walked over to her and gave her a warm hug.
"You guys have been together for the longest time and you still act like you guys just got married." Aera seemed grossed out, I can see it all over her face. My wife and I couldn't help but chuckle. "That's whack." she adds, clearly showing the disappointment in her voice.
"So what was it? The joke?" The twins were already fast asleep, Chaeyoung helped bathing them and tucking them to bed. I was sitting beside my wife, in front of us, is our daughter Aera.
"What joke? What were you guys talking about when I was away?" Son Chaeyoung seemed curious. She wasn't used to getting left out of the conversation because it's usually me who gets left out of the conversation because I'm too busy with work. Chaeyoung is the one who spends more time with our children.
"Eomma said she liked someone in 2019 and she said that the person she liked was a corny person." I don't know whether it was the way she phrased it or how my wife reacted but the situation was too funny I couldn't keep a straight face.
"Aera-yah, I met your Mina eomma in 2019..." She sounded so hurt. I had to pull her close to me and kiss her on the top of her head. "Be honest, was I really corny?" She sounded like a child.
"Ugh." Aera wanted to make it known that she hated public displays of affected.
"The corniest." I chuckle.
2020
I walked up to her, she had this knowing look in her eyes, the same look she gave me when we first met. The kind of gaze that made you feel welcomed. I missed her so much.
"You're awake, Son Chaeyoung." Saying her name felt amazing, it felt delightful to finally talk to her. Her beautiful round eyes were eyeing me, she seemed careful.
"Excuse me, but, who are you?" She asked.
The moment I heard her say those words, I felt my knees instantly turning into jelly. Tzuyu had to rush to me to help me up, I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"Oh my god, honey. I'm just kidding---" I instantly turn my gaze to her and see her trying to get up, the others trying to scold her saying that she shouldn't be moving. I was just there, staring at her, my eyes full of tears. Son Chaeyoung had the most guilty look on her face. "Oh my god, baby. I'm so sorry it's a joke." she tries to make me feel better.
"Honey?" Asks Jihyo. "And then now you call her baby?" Everyone in the room suddenly caught on.
"Are you guys?" Asks Momo, she seemed so confused. She was pointing at us back and forth. "Oh my god." She covered using her palm.
", you guys exposed yourselves alright." Says Nayeon throwing her hands in the air. I was just too stunned, traumatized of all the things that had recently happened. I was too afraid to lose her, I couldn't really express how upset I was because of her stupid joke.
"That wasn't funny, you ." I wiped my tears as I try to stand up.
Present Time
"Wow, mom. That was messed up, how could you have thought that it would turn out great?" Aera was just spitting bars at this point. "Mina eomma is right, you were corny." She chuckles, looking at me indicating that she approves.
"Oh god, it's scary how much she takes after me." Chaeyoung whispers to me, I had to smile.
"Ugh, I think I'm going to call it a night. I'm done with all this lovey-dovey stuff." She makes this face at us and then proceeds to walk out. Chaeyoung and I were left chuckling to ourselves.
"God, she's just like you." I mutter under my breath, standing up. "C'mon, woman. We need our beauty sleep, we're not getting any younger." I smile at her, offering my hand in the process. She smiled, holding onto it.
"Thank you." I whisper under my breath, I then leaned in and placed a light kiss on her forehead. Everything felt natural. Like home. She's my home.
"Looks like someone's is getting sentimental." She teased me, she had this teasing look on her face, I just smiled.
"No, I'm serious. I spent the whole weekend with the kids and realized how well you've raised them." I tell her the truth, she had this smile that suggested she was happy.
Son Chaeyoung, my lovely wife, owns her own antique shop and she also works as a freelance artist for this company. We had part-time employees looking after the shop and there would be times when she's the one who would tend to it. This meant, she had a lot of time compares to me and it was decided that she's going to be the one looking after the kids.
"God, you've worked so hard raising them all these years." I wanted to cry but it felt like I didn't need to do that. It felt nice, and I'm so happy everything worked out between us. "I'm so lucky I married you." I whisper, then I hear her chuckling like what I said was wrong.
"You didn't even want to marry me, you . It took you almost ten years before you asked the question." She sulked.
"We didn't have enough money back then, idiot." I reply, laughing as I reminisce all those years ago.
2026
"I just feel like if we continue being together, I might not have the family I've always dreamed of. I might not get married, I'm just...I just feel like at this point I'm only one who wants that." She whispered, we just finished eating dinner, she's been slyly trying to talk about marriage ever since same- marriage became legal in Korea. Most of the time I would just chuckle and pat her head, I didn't know it offended her that much. But at the time, I just wanted to be more stable, I was wanting to get this promotion that would enable us to move into a bigger place but I just get sidetracked.
There was one time when I came home to her preparing me a cake, with icing decoration saying 'congratulations on your promotion' on it only for me to tell her I didn't get the promotion. It hurt me because I wanted more and it felt like I wasn't giving her what she deserved. At the time I knew she was just doing her job, I knew she just wanted me to be happy but we were stuck in a dead-end.
We weren't moving.
"Stop this nonsense." I replied without skipping a beat, slamming the cutlery on the process. She was startled, I've never been this aggressive before but at the moment all I could think about was how tired I was about everything and how unfair it is that she's bringing all of this right now.
"This is not the life I want for myself, Mina." She was already crying, tears fell from her eyes. I just stared, I didn't know what to say. "It's been six years since we started dating and we're not moving at all. We're stuck, you have to at least admit that." She slowly crept her hand to mine, wanting to probably hold it. I quickly flinched.
" What are you talking about?" I knew what she was talking about, I was just too afraid to admit it to myself. "Son Chaeyoung, what are you trying to say?" I remember sounding really panicked because I knew where this conversation was going.
"When you go home, you act like you don't see me." She says this so firmly that I had to clench my jaw. "When I bring up marriage you chuckle and then proceed to another topic. I don't want that much, Mina. All I want is an answer. Do you know why? It's because an honest answer would at least give me a clear picture of where I'll be at ten years from now." She sounded so hurt, and I just wanted to hug her. But, she was right. We do not want the same things and it feels like we were starting to grow apart at this point.
"I don't think I can give you want you want as of now." I huff, admitting defeat. I just wanted to be honest with her, getting married and exploring our options in order to have a child isn't something I can do right now. I just felt empty, I felt like I was chasing empty goals. I could still remember the way she looked, she seemed extremely hurt. There was an uncomfortable amount of silence between us. "But please, I can't lose you right now." I beg, looking down at the floor, wishing she would cut me some slack.
"Let's break up." She calmly says this. "I feel like we're not growing as individuals anymore, I think it's better for us to break up." She reiterates herself, she stands up, and then that was it. I could remember sleeping on the couch that night and waking up to an empty house in the morning. No more Son Chaeyoung.
Present Time
"But I honestly think we did the right thing back then." She comments, trying to remember that one time we broke up and didn't talk to each other for more than a year. "I mean, during that period, we were stuck. We weren't growing. Plus, you have to admit, you also explored your options during that time." Son Chaeyoung gave me this mischievous look.
"Oh god, Woojin and Yunho look so much like you." I chuckle, trying lightly to push her face away from me.
"Of course they would look like me, I conceived them. What do you expect?" She sarcastically replied.
"But hey." I call her attention, trying to steer the conversation back to where it's supposed to be. "I met people during that time and it made me realize how good I had it with you, made me get my head out of my , and work towards my promotion so I could win you back." I jokingly tell her my side.
"Is that so?" She laughs. "I was basically a housewife to you at the time, I hated it so much that all I did was wait for you to come home. I knew I needed that, I knew I had to do something to be more than that." She seemed pained as she tried to remember.
"And I was so proud when I found out you got that job at that Studio." I smile, trying to remember the whole thing. "I was happy for you even though we weren't together at the time." I tell her the truth.
"I guess that thing was really meant to happen, right?" She smiled, turning her attention back to her phone.
2027
We saw each other again at a lesbian bar, at the time it had been more than a year after we've broken up. I thought I already had moved on from her, I always told myself that the single life was the best type of life...but when I saw her dancing with all those girls, it broke me. That was it, that was the clear sign that I had to get her back. I felt like I wanted to kick those girls away from her, it was strange how it felt like she was still mine.
It was crazy, I remember immediately unblocking her on all my social media and contemplating whether I should message her or not. That was when it was revealed that she constantly checked whether I've already unblocked her. Admittedly, I was the bitter one about the break-up. On the fifth day of contemplating, I received a message from her and that was how we slowly reconnected.
"I do not think I could see myself marrying someone else other than you, Chaeyoung-ah." I cry, holding her hand trying to win her back has been the hardest task I've dealt with lately. "I've...Son Chaeyoung, we've gone through so much together. I don't think I can spend the rest of my life with someone else other than you." I've been trying to woo her for over three months now, today, this Vacation in Bali is the last thing I'd do before I actually give up.
She was just there, wide-eyed, unable to speak. I knew what that look meant, it meant she's about to cry.
"Spend the rest of your life with me, please?" I ask her.
"Yes." She cried, pulling me close to her.
Present Time
It was amazing how everything just sort of clicked after that. We got married when I was thirty while she was twenty-eight. I decided to keep my last name because it was a big part of my identity in my career and we both believed that the important part of marriage is getting together and celebrating our love for each other. We both decided to keep our own surnames.
A year after that, we decided that it was the right time to have a child and that was when we had our only daughter, Son Aera. We both decided that I was the one who was going to carry our first child, we thought that it was best to have the IVF treatment here in South Korea since we couldn't really afford traveling out of the country and losing days of work. I could still remember it like it was yesterday.
We both have admitted that we thought we knew what true love was, but then when we met our child, our perception about love changed drastically. That was when we knew we weren't kids anymore and that this was the marker of the beginning of the new chapter of our lives.
"I love you." I remember her saying this to me when the doctors placed our child on my chest. She barely says it because according to her, she wants to say it when she means it.
Ten years later, we decided to give it another try. This time, it was her turn to get pregnant. Luckily for us, the same donor that we chose for conceiving Aera still had samples in his bank. And then, that was when we had the twins. Yunho and Woojin.
"See? I told you Yunho is like you in so many ways." She laughs because during this weekend I realized she is right.
"Thank you for building such a wonderful home for me." I whisper, looking into her eyes and realizing how she's aged. We've both aged, but our hearts still remain the same.
"Thank you for deciding to build this wonderful home with me." She smiled, leaned in, and kissed me on the forehead.
Who would've thought that nervous-looking girl in 2019 would end up becoming such a big factor in my happiness in 2044? I never thought of that, but, life is funny that way, I guess. We all went through so much that I actually never thought I'd reach this point of my life, but I was mistaken. There she is, my happiness, sitting beside me. We may have changed through the years and we might have become more mellow now that we're older, but I am certain of one thing and that is my love for her will remain constant and that meeting a person like her in one out of a millionth chance.
"I love you." She playfully whispered in my ear.
"I love you too." I whispered back, leaning in to give her a kiss on her lips.
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