"No, someone’s joining me in a while.” I tell him with a smile. As I clutch my phone, I feel like I shouldn’t waste tonight. Heck, I already dressed up. A little inconvenience should not be something to be taken seriously. I opened my phone and contacted the best person at times like this. I put my phone close to my ears and wait for her to answer. 

 

“Yeah? What’s up?” I hear her pick up my call.

 

“Still up for that dinner, Dahyun-ah?” I ask her with a smile on my lips. 

 

Not long after I contacted Kim Dahyun, she came running over to Teal bar wearing a smile on her face, she also brought an extra hoodie. She wore comfortable clothes, and I just remember all the days we spent together years ago. She didn’t change at all. I smiled at her, her sight made me feel comforted. 

 

I’m not alone anymore, it just feels so nice to be with someone.

 

“What’s that Hoodie for?” I ask her, trying to stifle my laughter. She gave me that ‘What?’ look. 

 

“What do you mean what’s this hoodie for?” She smiles as she took the seat right in front of me. I just follow her movements with my eyes. “Who wears skirts in a cold weather like this, anyway?” She chuckles.

 

“I wear what I want, Kim Dahyun.” I tell her, my eyes try to warn her about testing me with this type of conversation. She just shook her head, trying to hide her smile. 

 

“Stupid, I’m not saying you can’t wear what you want.” She slyly smiles, I can tell she’s just having fun teasing me. 

 

“What are you trying to say then?” I ask her. 

 

“What I’m trying to say is…” She trails off as she props her elbows on the table, leaning in closer. I leaned back, feeling a little uncomfortable with the lack of distance. “I know you. You always wore skirts when we spent time together back then.” She shakes her head, she’s still trying to hide her smile.

 

“No, I didn’t!” I protest. 

 

“Yes, you did! Even when it’s cold outside, you still wore damn skirts!” She laughs. She then stared at me for a while. 

 

“What? What are you looking at, huh?” I try to act tough. She just shook her head and then she handed me the hoodie, and I just looked at her in awe. I feel my cheeks start to warm up, and I feel my heart twitch a little. 

 

I do remember wearing skirts every time we went on our date. Though I love wearing comfortable and chic clothes, I always try to dress nicely when we decide to spend our time together. It’s not because I want to be pretty, but I felt like dressing up would make up for the fact that I hid our relationship. I remember her scolding me for dressing up too shortly, she always told me to wear more clothes during cold nights. But, because I am hard-headed, I always do what I want. 

 

But, after some time Dahyun finally caught on. Whenever it’s cold and we decide to spend our time together, she would always bring something that would keep me warm. We were like that, we understood each other in so many ways. I hated telling her what I want directly but luckily she’s smart like that. She always catches on. 

 

I take the hoodie and pull it close to me. I smile at her, not wanting to voice out my gratitude. I just don’t want to say anything. 

 

“You remembered.” I mumble under my breath, as I look at her. 

 

“How could I forget?” She smiles, her eyes seemed a little sad.

 

I just nod, not really adding anything to whatever she said. I’m afraid if I add something, she might ask something about why I suddenly changed my mind tonight. I then turn my gaze to the Bartender and then back to Dahyun.

 

“Should we order now?” I ask her. She just nods and then I proceed to order. 

 

Ordering food with Dahyun isn’t a hassle, that’s why our food arrived quickly. Though Teal bar is meant for people to drink, food is also available. I have to say though, the food tasted really decent and I don’t regret ever going there. 

 

“So now that we’re done eating…” She trails off and then she gave me this smile.

 

“What now?” I ask her. 

 

“Who ditched you?” She chuckles. 

 

My eyes widened when she asked me this. I just blink, trying to think of a way to dodge her question. Jesus, why does she have to be so curious? I always thought that she might not notice, but of course, Kim Dahyun’s too smart to not notice that I’ve been ditched. I just stare at her, still thinking of ways to lie.

 

Kim Dahyun, you’re too nosy. 

 

“Oh my God. The great Son Chaeyoung got ditched!” She exclaims and then she laughs comically. I just give her a nasty look.

 

Kim Dahyun is ugly. 

 

“No, I didn’t.” I tell her directly. She gave me this mocking look, I just rolled my eyes at her. “It wasn’t even a date! Mina unnie just invited me to dinner. That’s all.”  Good thing I’m straightforward enough to tell her what really the situation is. 

 

“Dinner?” She asked me. I nod at her and she nods her head too. 

 

“It wasn’t even that big of a deal. She wasn’t able to go here because she needed to tend to something.” I just tell her, while also reassuring myself that I didn’t get ditched. I look down at the table and I start to fiddle with my chopsticks.

 

“Liar.” I hear her blurt out. I quickly looked up, and I saw that she became serious. I just stare at her, not knowing what to say. I know making up stories won’t work because this girl knows me inside out. “You like her, don’t you?” She asks me. 

 

I just stare at her, feeling my heart start to beat faster than it did today. I breathe out, how frustrating can this day get? All I wanted to do was have a great time. 

 

“What is it to you?” I ask her, getting annoyed at how nosy she’s becoming. Why does she care anyway? I have a life of my own now. She must at least know her place. She must understand that there’s nothing between us anymore. 

 

“It’s nothing to me. It’s just a friendly question.” She answers without missing a beat. She then pretends to be bored by checking on her nails. “Whatever. Even if you don’t say anything, I already know your answer.” She looks up and then she smiles at me, blandly. 

 

“Stop speculating.” is all I could get out of my mouth. 

 

“I’m not.” She stares at me, sharply. Her gaze pierced through me. I just look at her, not saying anything. I feel so much hate towards her right now, simply because she knows me so much. It shocks me how much she knows every little detail of me. “You wore a skirt.” She adds.

 

“I did. So what?” I ask her, I feel like I know where our conversation is heading. “Did you want me to walk the streets of Seoul only in my underwear?” I sarcastically ask her. 

 

“No. That would be an awful sight.” She smiles at me. 

 

her, awful sight my ? As if she hasn’t seen me in my underwear before. please, I know she loved that sight.

 

“You like her. You wouldn’t have worn a skirt if you didn’t.” Says Dahyun. 

 

I just stare at her, hating the fact that she’s actually right. 

 

“But let me tell you something.” She leans in, looking me right in the eye. I just nod at her, allowing her to go on with whatever she’s supposed to continue. “Just because she invited you to dinner doesn’t mean she’s into you too.” 

 

I don’t know whether she’s just being an or she’s trying to break my heart. But what came out of stung a little, just enough to make me bite my lower lip. Annoying, truly. 

 

“I never expected her to like me back.” I tell Kim Dahyun with confidence. But it would be nice if she did. 

 

“Don’t invest too much on people who probably won’t like you back.” She replies. I just looked at her, my jaws dropped.

 

“ off. Are you telling me I’m not good-looking?” I asked her, I was obviously offended. She just stares at me. 

 

“No, that’s not what I am telling you.” She replies.

 

“What is it, then?” I ask her.

 

“Stop liking straight girls. Myoui Mina is probably the straightest girl I know.” She stares at me, as if she’s sure with whatever that’s coming out of .

 

I just nod at her, smiling even. Look, I can accept the fact that Mina unnie might probably not like me back, okay? Who cares? But what kind of straight girl kisses another girl on the lips while laying beside her? What kind of straight girl is that? Mina unnie, she’s definitely in the spectrum. But whatever, right? It’s none of my business whether she is straight or not. 

 

The night ended right after our dinner. Dahyun and I took a cab home and we parted ways when we reached in front of her dormitory. When I arrived home, it was the usual. People weren’t there. They were probably busy doing their own thing. Like usual, I head straight to my room and prepare for bed. I instantly fell asleep that night, since the night before, I wasn’t able to sleep a wink.

 

—

 

It’s been months since I was able to actually go home and spend time with my family. It’s a good thing South Korea celebrates Chuseok. Of course, I do not intend to spend Chuseok alone and away from my family. It’s a tradition to go home and enjoy Chuseok with one’s family. That’s the reason why I’m here, sitting on the train on my way home.

 

Where I live isn’t that far away, compared to the others but I still have to ride the train in order to reach my hometown. To be honest, it’s been months since I saw my family in person. I have to admit that I am excited, I just missed them so much. Especially my mom, I miss her. I miss her cooking, her nagging,  basically just everything about mom. 

 

Walking out of the train station felt nice. It’s been a tiring semester, though it hasn’t ended yet, the semester has indeed been very frustrating for so many reasons. Chuseok is the best break I could get even if it’s only for two days. I didn’t book for grab though because cabs were lined right outside of the station, which is pretty convenient. I hailed one cab, rode it, and instructed it where my place was. 

 

“Coming home for Chuseok?” asks the taxi driver, he’s staring at his rear view mirror. I smile at him.

 

“Yeah, it’s been a few months since I’ve seen my family.” I smile at him, and I see him nod.  He then turned his attention to the road and continued to drive. The train station is not that far from my home but the distance is still considerably good. I turn my gaze back at the cab driver. “Aren’t you going to take the holiday off, Ahjussi?” I ask him, trying to make conversation. 

 

I see his eyes smile through the rear-view mirror. “Holidays do not exist for people like me.” He chuckles, and I just nod. I barely understood what he was talking about. 

 

“What I’m trying to say is, during holidays like this students like you come home. I gain a good amount of income through you kids.” He chuckles as he drives to our destination, turning left and right now and then. The streets become more familiar as the seconds go by. A smile on my face starts to form, feeling an excitement grow inside me. 

 

“You can drop me off here, Ahjussi.” I told him and he halted the cab. I felt a little sorry for him because he has to work during holidays. I mean, holidays are supposed to be celebrated with our families. I understood that he had to do that for money, but still. I felt bad. I handed him a good amount of money and left without saying a word. I didn’t want to say anything, he might just argue with me.

 

Our house is found at a higher plane, though I know it’s very unnecessary for me to not be dropped off exactly in front of my house, I think it’s okay. I wanted to walk anyway, I missed our neighborhood. 

 

The moment I stepped out of the cab, I already saw our house. As I walk towards it, I realise that I’ll be spending two days with my family. I haven't really thought of how I am going to spend it this year, I mean, I’ve been so immersed with the academics that Chuseok isn’t really my priority for this year. Whatever. I’ll just spend it however I want. As I reached our gate, I clicked on the intercom and waited for someone to let me in. 

 

My family, of course, knew that I was coming home for Chuseok. What else would I be doing? 

 

As I entered our gate, I was greeted by the wide lawn which I walked across in order for me to reach our front door. I knocked, and got inside without anyone really opening the door for me. 

 

When I got inside, the house was silent. As usual. But I didn’t dislike the silence. In fact, I liked it, the place was peaceful as usual. It’s unlike the dormitory. The dormitory was quiet at times but on most days I'd hear the other girls banter with each other. A friendly banter that would sometimes last for hours, it was fun. Actually, I loved the dorm’s noise. 

 

I went directly to the kitchen where I expected my mom to be preparing something for dinner. I was right, she was there. Her back was facing me, she obviously had no idea I’m already inside. Jeonghoon was probably the one to activate the intercom. 

 

I slowly walked towards her, making sure to take light steps. With a smile on my face I put my arm on her shoulder and coughed, to gain her attention. The moment she turned around to check who it was, her face lit up at the sight of me. Mom sprang right up and pulled me to a hug. Of course, I hugged her too. I missed this, I needed this.

 

“Oh? What’s the matter mom? Missed your eldest daughter, huh?” I jokingly asked her. She pulled away from the hug and she lightly touched my chin.

 

“Have you not been eating well? You’ve gotten so thin, Chaeyoung-ah!” Her remark was full of worry, but I shake my head. Implying that there was nothing to worry about. She just held my hand, she’s still eyeing me as if I’m she can’t believe what she’s looking at.

 

“What’s all the fuss about?” I heard Dad’s voice as he was entering the kitchen. I immediately turned around and smiled at him. When he saw me, his strict demeanor faded away. I immediately saw a smile form on his face as he opened his arms wide, welcoming me for a hug. I ran to him immediately and sank into his warm embrace. 

 

“Dad, I missed you guys so much.” I whined while I was still in his grasp. I heard him snicker, I pulled away from the hug and gave him the meanest look. “What’s so funny?” I ask him as I pout. 

 

“If you missed us so much why didn’t you bother visiting us on the weekends?” He asked me. I just smile at him slyly, of course he knew the answer. It’s because I was too lazy to do so.

 

“Your dad’s right, how could you say that? You barely call us.” Says mom as she places her hand on her waist, she was waiting for an answer. I just stared at her and then smiled, I mean she’s right. 

 

“Noona!” Jeonghoon shouts as he sprang out of Dad’s back. I wasn’t even surprised, he’s usually like this. I just pulled him to hug and I can hear mom and dad chuckling. “Noona, life as a University student hasn’t been kind to you, has it?” he asks. I was a little taken aback with his question, I haven’t realized he’s become very sensible over the past few months.

 

“What made you say that?” I ask him. He just shrugged.

 

“It’s because you haven’t grown an inch.” He sarcastically pats my head like I’m a child. I playfully nudged him in the ribs which made our parents laugh. I sure missed this. 

 

Later that day during lunch, our family has decided to eat outside. Though most stores or department stores are traditionally closed during Chuseok, there are of course some brave ones who still open. These types of stores are open until maybe the late afternoon? But they close during the evening to pay tribute to the Holiday. The streets of Seoul were very empty and it bore little to no people in it. My family didn’t mind though, they liked the empty streets. Less annoying people, as my dad describes it. 

 

Instead of spending our morning together at home, they wanted to stroll around and check if cafes were open. Though in most cases, the stores were closed but there is a tiny fraction that still open. My family and I spent our morning and late afternoon strolling through the seemingly silent streets of seoul. We ate some food, drank at cafes, and desserts. It felt nice to actually spend time with them, my family. 

 

We talked so much, we didn’t talk this way when I was still in highschool. Mom and dad were so interested with how I've been living in my dorm. Of course, I told them that I was doing fine, like I am. I am doing good, though the academics isn’t at all easy, I could say I enjoy it anyway. I mean, studying is not a big deal. I came there to study that is why I’ve prepared myself from all the stress and pressures. 

 

What I didn’t anticipate is what stressed me the most, actually. But of course, I  never mentioned any of that. I do not need my family worrying about me over such nonsensical things, I’d rather have them worry about more important things. 

 

We all talked so much, we even talked about Jeonghoon. Apparently, the brat started dating already, I couldn’t believe it. I just stared at him, it was something that I thought was unbelievable. Though I know that someday he would start dating, I never thought that he’d start dating now. I mean, even though he’s taller than I am, I still see him as my baby brother. The little brat that would constantly annoy me, when did he grow up? It felt like so much has changed since I started studying away from home. It felt weird but in a good way.

 

When the streets started to dim, our family decided to go home and prepare dinner together. Of course, I helped out. We cooked and also set the table. Just like before, I cannot stress enough how much I missed all of this. I missed how me and Jeonghoon banter over things that made no sense. I missed how either mom or dad would scold us, and lightly hit us after all the nagging. I missed our house, how it is so warm and cozy, how it looked, and just everything about it. 

 

It feels nice to be home again.

 

Dinner was great, the food was amazing, and we also talked again. We talked as if we haven’t seen each other in ages. But mostly, we talked and roasted my younger brother about his lovelife. We were probing, annoying, and generally just being nosy around him. Good thing he was such a sport, he wasn’t even annoyed with all the questions. He’s really a grown up now, he’s matured so much over the past few months. 

 

After dinner, Jeonghoon and Dad stayed in the living room playing video games. I wanted to join them but realized they might talk about something important so I just let them be. Instead, I went outside and stayed at our porch which overlooked our lawn and garden. The night was a little chilly but I liked it, the stars were out and it was very quiet. I sat on the chair and realized I haven’t touched my phone all day. I chuckle at the thought because that’s very unlike me. So I got a hold of my phone which was in my back pocket and I started to scroll through my feed. 

 

There wasn’t really much but I do have a lot of notification in my KAKAOTALK so I decided to go and see the messages I had. I decided to check in the Group Chat where the people from the next dorm were in as well. As usual, we all had our Nicknames. 

 

Nayeon: Bunny

Jeongyeon: The Unfunny one

Momo: Made in Japan

Sana: Sanaconda

Jihyo: Thomas

Mina: Sharon

Dahyun: Dubu on the beat

Chaeyoung: Shorty

Tzuyu: The Tol one

 

[KAKAOTALK]

 

The Unfunny one: What’s up peasants? How’s your Chuseok going?

Dubu on the Beat: As usual, boring. But atleast I get to see the fam. 

Sanaconda: I’m spending my Chuseok with Jihyo’s Family. 

The tol one: Are you having fun with the Park family? 

Sanaconda: It’s the other way around.

Made in Japan: So you’re not having a good time?

Sanaconda: No, the Park Family is having fun with me around lol

Bunny: Mina and Momo are also having the time of their lives at my place lol

The Unfunny one: So the three of them didn’t fly back to Japan?

Made in Japan: Duh? 

Sharon: Hahahahahaha. You really had to ask?

Sanaconda: Catch up will you, Jeongyeon unnie? lol

The Tol one: I was the only one who flew home. I missed Taiwan

Shorty: Have fun and stay safe in Taiwan, Tzuyu-ah! 

 

As I read and replied to the thread, I couldn’t help but smile. Sure, it’s been only a day but I sure do miss these crackheads. I honestly hope they’re doing fine, especially Tzuyu who’s very far away from us.

 

[KAKAOTALK]

 

Made in Japan: Yah! Son Chaeyoung! 

Shorty: Yes, Unnie? 

Made in Japan: We haven’t heard from you the whole day. What’s up?

The Tol one: Definitely not her height lol

Dubu on the Beat: BURNEDDD!! 

Bunny: That’s mean lol

The Unfunny one: Enjoy your Holiday, Chaeyoung-ah! 

 

I closed my phone and put it inside my back pocket. As I look up at the sky, I feel my eyes start to feel heavy, so I decided to close them and relax for a bit. I mean, it’s not everyday that I get to spend my time here in my family’s porch, right? Closing my eyes, I feel the cold wind breeze on my arms which made me open my eyes. 

 

Though I have a fairly good amount of me-time back in the dormitory, I don’t get to do this since we don’t have anything in our yard. Maybe I should buy a chair for our yard so I can enjoy nights like this there. 

 

As I try to relax myself, I suddenly remember everything from last night and I just feel myself crumble again. It was nice that Dahyun was there when I needed her the most. It’s nice, really. I got to spend time with her, talk to her, banter with her, and just not just spend the night alone. It felt good to have someone beside you when you need company.

 

But, last night, I just felt so awful thinking that Mina might’ve avoided me. She might have not really had something important to do, but instead she just avoided me. I don’t know, I might just be overthinking. But I can’t help it, can I? 

 

One time she’s super nice to me, and then the next time she’s so indifferent, and then she’s mad at me, and then the next time she’d made promises she couldn’t keep. I know I sound like a kid complaining about minor inconveniences in her life. But can I help it? Even though how many times I tell myself not to feel bad, I always end up feeling like just by thinking of her. 

 

Mina, she made me feel so confused. 

 

Though Mina may seem quite calm on the exterior, once you get to know her, it’s somehow tiresome to keep up with her antics. No, her antics are not at all obvious, but based on what I have observed, she tends to act hot and then she suddenly becomes cold the next minute. It’s so ing frustrating. 

 

To be honest, I don't even know why I like her. I don’t usually like people who confuse me. I don’t want to deal with people who make me think too much. I hate the frustration. But with her, I don’t know why but it seems like I’m okay with whatever she’s put me through. It’s weird, because I’m not like this. I’m not at all patient. But with her, I seem to be willing to be treated like this, for now. 

 

At this point, I should at least be a little mad at her. She practically kissed me and then denied everything the next morning, made me her slave by always having me take care of her when she’s drunk, her accusing me of seeing Min Woo because I want attention, and lastly when she ditched me. Last night was like the cherry on top of everything. Why can’t I at least feel a little hatred towards her? Why can’t I just distance myself? 

 

My mom did not raise me to be just hurt by some fairly attractive woman. I ing hate myself. 

 

“What are you thinking of?” I hear my mom ask me. I turn around and see her carrying a tray with tea. I immediately stand up and help her. 

 

“Nothing much, mom.”  I smile at her as I have a seat and so does she. We’re seated beside each other. I just look at the sky and try to not think about anything that’s related to Mina. 

 

“Nothing much? You can’t be sitting out here and not think of anything!” She chuckles, then she hands me a cup of Citron tea. I accept it and smile at her, the tea smells good. She just looks at me, as if trying to understand what’s going on inside my head.

 

“The tea is lovely, mom.” I smile at her as I take a sip. I placed the cup down on the tray and noticed that she’s still staring. I snicker at how silly she looked. “Mom, what is it?” I laugh at her. She’s like a kid. 

 

“Mom just missed you so much.” She smiled as she reached for my cheek, she then caressed it and I just smiled at her. 

 

“You think I’m still a baby, huh?” I ask her. She just nods and I just shake my head. I mean, yeah I am small but that doesn’t mean I’m still a kid. I just look up at the sky and sigh. “Mom, I know I’ll always be a kid in you and dad’s eyes.” 

 

“Good thing you understand that.” She replies as she reaches out for her cup of tea.

 

“Of course I do.” I turn my gaze to her, I then lean my head against the chair’s headrest. “But Mom, you also have to understand that I’m all grown now.” I add.

 

“Of course I know that.” She smiles at me as she sets her cup of tea down. She then got into a comfortable sitting position and faced me. “Mom knows everything about you, Chaeyoung-ah.” She smiled as she patted my head. 

 

I just smile back. Though I know what she said wasn’t true. She doesn’t know everything about me and I’m thankful that she’s clueless about some parts of me. I’m afraid I might disappoint her if I tell her who I really am. I don’t want to hurt my family. It might not be easy for my family to accept who I am. I do not want to make them feel like . I don’t want to be selfish. 

 

“But of course, that’s not true.” She smiles.

 

“What?” I suddenly blurted out. 

 

“What I meant was, there is a limit to what I know about you and Jeonghoon.” She smiles. I just nodded at her, since what she said was true. She doesn’t know everything about us, though she knows quite a good amount of information, there are still some things I like to keep to myself. 

 

I know my mom, she would stall the conversation if she wants to know something. She wouldn’t directly ask me things, but she’d rather want me to do all the work for her.

 

“Are you curious about something, mom?” I ask her. I see a small smile form in the corners of . I was right. She quickly faced me like an excited child. 

 

“Mom wants to know…” She trails off. “Is our Chaengie dating someone now?” She had the widest grin when she asked me. I just smile at her and shake my head. Her question tugged at my heartstring a little. My mom probably just wants me to have fun and start doing things people my age usually do.

 

“Mom, do you really want me to start dating that bad?” I ask her. 

 

“Of course! Mom wants you to have fun.” She smiles as she leaned in to pat the top of my head endearingly. 

 

“Mom, I don’t think people like me should date.” I tell her, giving her all my honesty. Though I know she wouldn’t understand what I meant, I'm ready for her to ask me a follow-up question. 

 

“I’m afraid I don’t understand what you’re talking about.” She sighs. I just look at her and shrug. What am I supposed to tell her? 

 

Mom, your only daughter is also into girls. So what’s for breakfast tomorrow? Jesus, if it were that easy I would’ve come out of the closet ages ago.

 

“It’s difficult for people like me to date.” I tell her, hoping that she’d just get more confused and stop asking questions.  

 

“Why? Is it because of the academics? Are you pressured?” She asks me. I just stare at her.

 

“Well, you could say I’m pressured.” I smile at her. She stares at me, I can see she's doing her best to understand what I was saying. 

 

“Katarina.” She calls out to me. She sounded very serious. 

 

“Mom! You promised you’d stop calling me that ages ago!” I pout at her in frustration. She just smiles, she then looked down at the grass. I feel the mood has changed into a serious one. 

 

“Do you want to tell me something?” She asks me. 

 

The question made me stiff. For so many reasons, the question was just the right question for my Mom to ask me. What she asked me could open something to our relationship as mother and daughter. It’s either she disowns me or she’d just end up tolerating me. Honestly, so many thoughts were inside my head. I felt overwhelmed. 

 

“I’ve wanted to tell you many things but I figured out I couldn’t.” I answer her. She just gave me this look, it seemed like she was telling me ‘Óh, try me’. I just shake my head, frustrated at how difficult it is for me to go on with this exchange. 

 

“Tell me, I might be able to help.” She replies. 

 

I find it funny how clueless my mom is right now. She thinks she can help me? I think not. I just snicker at her, she’s so clueless with what’s going on inside my head right now. She gave me this look, her face implied that she’s bored of waiting for me to say something.

 

“Well? Are you going to tell me or not?” She asks me, her tone has increasingly become higher. I just stare at her, hoping that she wouldn’t jump out of her seat.

 

“Mom, do you think I should date?” I asked her again, this time she just stared at me. Her eyes, they were trying to understand what I was saying.

 

“If you find the person you like, then yes.” She calmly replies.

 

“Mom, I already have a person that I like.” I tell her. She just stared, I couldn’t read her expression. I feel my feet and hands become increasingly colder. I feel scared.

 

“Really? Do you want to date that person?” She asked me.

 

“More than anything in this world, Mom.” I admit to her. She just nods her head.

 

“What’s stopping you?” She asks.

 

I just stare at her, I feel my heart beat increase up to a thousand beats per minute. My face, it feels hot and so does my ears. She’s asked the question that will out me. I just sigh, feeling a little anxious with what I was about to say. She’s still waiting for my response. 

 

“She’s a girl.” I tell her, I feel myself crumble slowly. I just stare at her, waiting for her to cry, slap me, or curse me. I just stared at her, she had this blank stare. It’s as if she’s still trying to process whatever I just said. 

 

“Wait, that’s it?” She replies nonchalantly. 

 

I just stare at her, with my eyes wide open. Have you ever anticipated something so big about a certain situation and when it actually happens and it’s less than what you expected you get disappointed? 

 

All I’m saying is, can’t she give me a little more reaction than that? 

 

“Mom, I just said I’m into girls.” I mumble under my breath. She just stared at me.

 

“Yeah and I’m glad you finally said it.” She says this in a mocking tone.

 

“Wait, you knew?” I ask her, my tone slightly higher than it should be.

 

“I mean, excuse me for my language but you were pretty at hiding during dates with THAT girl.” She replies in a serious tone.

 

“WHAT? You knew? You knew about Me and Dahyun?” I throw my hands up in frustration. 

 

“Ah, so that’s her name. Miss Snow white’s name is Dahyun.” She smiled at me. 

 

I just stare at her. This is unbelievable. So all this time, I was getting worked up over nothing. All these years, I worried over nothing. , I was so scared and frightened that she’d react differently. I just stare at her, unable to say words I needed to say. I just stare at her and I feel my eyes sting, tears started to fall down my face. I was crying. I just look down, trying to hide my face. 

 

“Chaeyoung-ah, it’s okay.” She pats my head while I look down and try to hide the fact that I’m ugly crying. “I never envisioned that my daughter would one day grow up and be into girls.” She adds.

 

“But honestly, that’s fine too.” Her voice sounded cheerful. “Look, life isn’t going to be easy for you.” 

 

I just look up, with my eyes all glazed with my own tears. “I know, I’ve known for a very long time that it won’t be easy.” I tell her. 

 

“But it’s better to go through something difficult while loving what you do, right?” She asks. I just look at her, my mouth all pouty. 

 

“No matter how difficult it gets, always remember that we're here for you.” She smiles as she reaches out to caress my cheeks, my tears, they seem to not want to stop from falling. 

 

“Wait, even dad knows?” I ask her. She just chuckles.

 

“He’s the one you caught you on a date with that girl. Dahyun, right?” She laughs as she remembers. My jaw just dropped. I couldn’t believe it, all along they knew and they didn’t even try to force me to admit. 

 

“Mom, are you disappointed in me?” I ask her.

 

“No. Why would I be? You’ve been a wonderful daughter to us.” She smiles. I just nod as I feel this mixture of overwhelming joy, anxiousness, and relief take over me. She pats the top of my head once more, trying to comfort me. “Anyway, when are you going to let us meet Dahyun?” She asked, her voice cheerful. 

 

“I uh…” I trail off. “Dahyun and I aren’t a thing anymore, mom.”I smiled at her. She had this look on her face, she wasn’t taken aback but she seemed curious. 

 

“So, it’s a new girl. When are you going to ask the new girl out?” She asked spontaneously. 

 

I just stare at her and I shake my head. Everything just feels so light and weird right now. Honestly, I don’t even know what to say. 

 

“The new girl? I don’t know if I ever will.” I tell her honestly. She just shook her head. 

 

“Well, next time you visit here, you should bring that girl over.” She says this so casually I almost fell off of my seat. I just stare, obviously shaken with what I just heard. 

 

“Eh?” was all I could get out of me.

 

“Yeah. Go get her, tiger.” She winked at me. I swear to god I almost lost it.