“Dahyun, unnie. In this room, who do you think would be the worst person to date and why?” The demon tree asked. Everyone was mumbling. Their voices were low but you can tell they were anticipating what Dahyun had to say. 

 

Dahyun thought for a while, looked at each and every one of us. Her eyes then landed on me. It felt like she stared at me a little too long. She just sighs and then, pursed her lips. She looked tired, probably because of the alcohol and all the preparations she’s done for today.

 

“Son Chaeyoung.” Says the girl without Hesitation. 

 

I stare at her. I mean, we all stare at her. What the ? Everyone then stared at me, waiting for my reaction. I had none, I just felt inconvenienced. 

 

“What? That’s such a weird answer!” Momo unnie chuckles. Everyone laughs with her. Probably because no one is taking the questions seriously because we all know this is just a game. Not me. I’m taking offense to this, she just called me the worst girlfriend she ever had ! 

 

“When I look at her, I don’t even think she’d been in a relationship before!” Exclaims Jeongyeon unnie and almost everyone nods in agreement. Is it legal to feel this insulted? Jesus.

 

“Why though?” Tzuyu asks Dahyun. She looked curious.

 

“Why, what?” Asks Dahyun, she pretends to not understand whatever Tzuyu meant.

 

“Why’d you think she’s the worst person to date in here?” She asked. Everyone seemed to be really interested because the murmuring stopped. Eyes were glued to Dahyun and me. I just stared at Dahyun, internally, I wanted to beat the out of her. “Cause you know, there’s got to be a reason!” Adds Tzuyu. 

 

“I just know.” Dahyun smiles slyly and then everyone ‘ooohhhhed’. What the is she tying to say? Tzuyu was about to ask a follow up question when Jeongyeon told her that Dahyun’s answer was enough. She told Tzuyu that if she really wants to know, she should ask another question in the next round.

 

Tzuyu looked disappointed , she sat down, turned to me and whispered “Sometimes, I think they know things that we don’t know.” She then makes this pouty looking face. I just smile, the demon is disappointed. 

 

Girl, if you knew whatever we had, you’d probably flip out. 

 

“You.” Jeongyeon unnie points out to Jihyo unnie. Jihyo unnie pretends to be a little shocked. “Yeah, you. It’s your turn, Thomas.” Jeongyeon unnie makes this comical voice and face. 

 

“Do something fun!” Sana Exclaims.

 

“Why? Am I not fun? Do you think I’m boring?” Jihyo turns her gaze to Sana. Sana makes this face, and we all laugh. I mean, I haven’t hung out enough with Jihyo so I can’t tell whether she’s boring or not.

 

I don’t think she’s boring. 

 

“Well…” We hear Momo trail off. “That’s what she’s exactly saying, Jihyo-ah.” Momo replies in a mocking tone. Jihyo stares at her, it seems like she was ready to throw hands. 

 

“Fine, I pick dare.” Says Jihyo. She seemed a little insulted but she’ll be fine. A little criticism won’t kill Thomas the train. “And for the record, I hope I get the most risqué dare from that fish bowl.” She grumbles. Everyone laughs. Jihyo unnie’s annoyed alright. 

 

Risqué, alright. 

 

“Okay then.” Says Jeongyeon unnie with a smirk on her face. She then shook the fishbowl and she picked a piece of paper. She unrolled it and then her eyes widened. “Hey, Minatozaki. Isn’t this too much? Were you extremely feeling sensual when you wrote these dares down?” Complains Jeongyeon unnie. Everyone listened carefully ,shot glasses being filled with Soju. Everyone’s having fun. Sana unnie quickly got up and got behind Jeongyeon unnie to read the dare she wrote down. The Shiba inu chuckles.

 

“Oh my, I think that may be a little too much.” She laughs as she scratched her head, she sounded cute. 

 

“I said I’ll take the most risqué dare, right? Give me it.” Thomas the train says this in the most bored tone, she sounded flat. She probably took the comments to heart. Jeongyeon unnie and Sana unnie stared at each other and laughed. 

 

“Okay then.” Says Jeongyeon unnie. She clears and then she smiles. This must be one hell of a dare then. “Park Jihyo, I dare you to take off your bra. You will drink and interact with us without your bra. You can only put your bra on after we all finish the drinks.” Jeongyeon unnie smiles. 

 

, are we seriously doing this? Stripping down? I sure hope I don’t have to take off my underwear. 

 

Jihyo unnie looked blank. She was just staring into thin air. I stare at her outfit and notice that she’s wearing a loose shirt so going braless isn’t really that bad. 

 

“ So , are you still going to do it?” Asks Sana unnie mockingly. Jihyo stares at her and not 5 seconds later, she starts to unhook her bra. She was still looking at Sana seriously while unhooking and getting the straps off of her arms. 

 

Sparks were flying, to be honest. What kind of sparks, you ask? I also don’t know.

 

The whole time this happened we all just stared, holy were watching a live show. She grabs her bra under her shirt, yanked it out, and stares at Sana while holding the underwear. Jihyo unnie had this satisfied look on her face. 

 

It’s kind of hot, not gonna lie. 

 

“Holy . She actually did it.” I hear Tzuyu whisper. I stare at her and nod my head in agreement. Jihyo unnie stood up, walked towards Sana, grabbed Sana’a hand and then placed her bra on Sana’s hand. All our jaws instantly drop. Sana unnie became really red while Jihyo just walked back to her spot and sat down on the couch, she raised both her eyebrows while staring at Sana. It’s like she’s saying ‘Top that’.

 

.

 

“How’d you like holding my bra?” Asks Jihyo unnie as she downs a shot of Soju. Sana unnie quickly places the bra on the table and then sits back on her spot.

 

“You exceeded my expectations. You’re a ten out of ten. Will definitely tease again.” Says Sana. Those phrases may seem odd but because Sana said that, we all burst out laughing. The awkwardness in the air was now gone. Jihyo unnie started smiling too, she even shook her head as if she’s any better than Sana. 

 

Of course she isn’t. We’re all kids here.

 

“Mitang , it’s your turn.” We hear Nayeon unnie speak. Mina just stared and then smiled, she seems like she’s doing okay. 

 

“Alright, Mina. Truth or Dare?” Asks Jeongyeon unnie. Mina stares at her blankly at first. As I stared at her, I realized she has changed clothes. Mina unnie then chose truth. We all look at her and wait for someone to think of a question. Suddenly, Nayeon unnie stood up and then raised her hand. 

 

“Minari, If you were a guy, who would you date amongst us and why?” Asks Nayeon.

 

Everyone nodded their head in satisfaction. Mina unnie had this look on her face. It seemed like she was thinking. Unlike Dahyun, she wasn’t looking at us one by one. She just looked really into whatever she was thinking. Right before she looked at Nayeon unnie, I saw her discreetly bit her lower lip. 

 

“I can’t possibly answer that unnie! I’d probably just date everyone of you. You are all so gorgeous. Who wouldn’t want that, right?” She answers, an anxious smile painted on her face. But she’s still beautiful nonetheless.

 

“Ehhhh! Stop lying Minari, I know you’d pick me out of everyone. Right?” Adds Jihyo. Mina laughs, she’s starting to act looser now.

 

“Yah. Park Jihyo, dream on. She’d date me for sure!” Argues Nayeon unnie. 

 

“Nah. She’d choose me over anyone here!” Chimes in Momo. “Right, Minari?” She stands up and then walks over to Mina just to hug her. Mina starts laughing, her cheeks flushed and her movements visibly light. 

 

“Dream on unnie, she won’t date someone who constantly drops her food!” Tzuyu argues, Momo gives her this nasty look. I just smiled all throughout whatever was happening. 

 

“I’m not satisfied with your answer.” Says Jeongyeon directly. I look over to her and she looks unamused. Mina unnie’s smile withers. “Look, I’ll be kind to you so I’ll let Sana pick out a dare for you, okay?” Adds Jeongyeon. Mina just nods. Sana immediately fishes a dare from the bowl and silently reads it. She looks up at us.

 

“I dare you to keep your hand on the very inner thigh of the person to your left for thirty seconds.” Reads Sana.

 

“EH?” Was all Mina could say. Her jaw dropped for the first time today, she looked really uneasy. To her left was Jeongyeon. To her right was Dahyun. She stares at Sana unnie for a second and then to Jeongyeon. It seemed like Joengyeon was also uncomfortable, she kept avoiding Mina’s gaze. 

 

I, on the other hand, felt a dark cloud forming over my head. 

 

“Sana, give me a cup of your drink.” Says Mina clearly. She has this determined look on her face, as if she really wasn’t going to do the dare. I just stared at her, intently. That was all I could do. Stare at her. Mina then looked around to ease the tension and our eyes met. I stared at her, I wasn’t expecting Mina to avoid the dare. I mean, whatever, she can do whatever she wishes. She’s an adult. 

 

Sana obliged and gave Mina a cup of her deadly mixture of drinks. Right before Mina downed the big drink, I swear I see her glance at me for a second. I’m not sure, I probably just saw things because of all the alcohol I’ve had. I don’t know. As she downed the cup, everyone cheered for her. I didn’t, I just stared. When she finished the shot, I saw her wince a little. 

 

“Oh, Minari, are you okay?” Asks Momo right after Mina lightly places the cup on the table. Mina nods, she looks disgusted with what she drank. I was disgusted when I had to drink some of that . I ain’t drinking any of that again. 

 

“You’re up Chaengie.” I hear Nayeon unnie. I turn my gaze to her and see her standing up. I stand up and smile because it’s finally my turn. “You’re a bit red. Feeling a little drunk?” Teases Nayeon unnie and everyone breaks in a fit of laughter. I just smile and shake my head.

 

Seriously, I don’t feel drunk.

 

“To our dearest cub, truth or dare?” Jeongyeon unnie asked while she remained seated. “Im Nayeon, sit down. You’ll make yourself drunk.” She grabs Nayeon unnie’s shirt hem and then pulls her down, making the oldest unnie land on the sofa. Nayeon unnie gave her a nasty look, Jeongyeon clearly doesn’t give a . 

 

“ For me, I’d take dare.” I bluntly replied. Everyone ‘ohhhhhed’ again, clapping their hands like seals. I just smile, they all look funny. Sana unnie stood up and then she glanced at me.

 

“Hey, I made dares which really would push everyone’s boundaries.” Says Sana unnie, her tone seemed firm.

 

“I know.” I answer her directly, I try to make my voice sound like I don’t give a . Deep inside though, I feel a little scared. 

 

Just a little, of course.

 

“These dares involve all sorts of physical contact. Do you understand that?” She asks again, she stares at me, her eyes seemed focused on me. She’s waiting for my answer. Everyone was silent. 

 

“I know. I’m not a child.” I replied sternly. I don’t know but everyone seemed entertained with how I’m responding. Seems like they love seeing me become ballsy. 

 

Son Chaeyoung with balls. Nice. 

 

Sana unnie nods her head and proceeds to fish a dare from the bowl. “You’ve been warned, cub.” She smirked. As she’s doing her thing, I feel Tzuyu tug at my shirt. I looked back and stared at her, she looked worried.

 

“You’re aware that can go down, right?” She sounded concerned. 

 

“I can handle myself.” I winked at her, not really sure why I did but okay. Who cares, right? Suddenly, I hear Sana unnie clears . I look over to her. 

 

“Son Chaeyoung, Listen carefully because this is very specific. Okay?” She tells me and I just nod. She clears again and then proceeds to read the dare. “You have to leave the room. Everyone pours their own shot. They place their glass on the table. You then come back into the living room and take one of the shots that was poured.” She stops and then she looks at me, a smile starting to form on .

 

“That’s it?” I ask her. She shakes her head. I gulp. 

 

“Whoever poured the drink, you have to sit on their lap until we finish the round.” She smiled and then everyone’s face changed. They all laughed and I was just left there, dumbfounded. “What are you waiting for? Go outside and let us pour our shot.” She says this in such a mocking tone that for the first time, I gave Sana unnie a nasty look. 

 

There is nothing to lose , right? Who cares. This is just a game. I turn my back and march myself outside. Good thing I was wearing a jacket because damn, it’s really cold outside. I made sure to warm my hands inside my pockets as I waited for someone to call me inside. Not more than a minute later, I hear a knock on the glass window. It was Jihyo unnie, she's motioning for me to come inside. I just nod and obliged. As I walk inside, I see all of them standing on the sides. Everyone was smiling, they had this mischievous look on their faces.

 

“What?” I ask them as I try to hide the fact that I am enjoying this. I realized how cold it was outside when I got in. 

 

“Pick your shot.” Smiles Nayeon unnie. I just nod and walk over to the table where they placed all 8 glasses filled with alcohol. I look at each glass first before reaching for one. Without looking anyone in the eye, I drank the shot. Everyone applauded. I just smile and place the glass on the table. 

 

Everyone began to settle down. I then sat down where I sat originally seated. Just as Jeongyeon unnie was about to pick the next player, Sana unnie stands up, she’s trying to suppress her smile. “Alright, whose shot glass did Chaeng drink from? Raise your hand. You need your lap warmed by none other than Son Chaeyoung. ” 

 

That’s when I realized the severity of this game. 

 

For ten seconds the living room was silent. It felt like no one wanted me to sit on their lap, though normally, I’d find this humorous when I’m sober. But since I’m a little tipsy now, I find this offensive. Why? Does that person think that my is not worthy of her lap? My is top-tier, even Beyoncé would want me to sit on her lap. Jeez.

 

“Mine.” We hear someone speak in a faint voice. Her left hand raised when she claimed responsibility for the glass. I looked over to her and my mind just went completely blank. She looked tipsy, that's probably why she didn’t say anything at first. “Chaengie, you’re supposed to sit on my lap.” She smiled at me, she looked hella drunk. Hella drunk but beautiful. Her rosy cheeks and the fact that she’s got this smile on her face makes her the cutest human being in this room. 

 

I am not exaggerating.

 

“What are you waiting for? Go and sit on her lap.” I hear Tzuyu chuckle. I stand up and walk towards her, she pats her lap and I just stare at her. I wasn’t sure what to do. 

 

“Jesus, just sit already. You’re both girls.” Says Nayeon unnie with a smirk on her face. 

 

I just closed my eyes and sat on her lap. Everyone applauded the second my landed on her lap, I just looked down to hide the fact that I can’t get my cheeks to stop blushing. I feel so hot around my face and I couldn’t contain my smile too. 

 

“Yah! Look at Minari! She’s smiling!” I hear the almost drunk Momo unnie say, she’s got this funny tone in her voice.

 

“Oh my, she likes it! Minari likes it!” Teases Sana unnie and everyone except the both of us, start laughing. I look back and get a glimpse of Mina smiling a little, but the smile faded once she noticed I was peeking. 

 

I have to admit, sitting on her lap wasn’t comfortable. I just felt so tense. I even avoided trying to breathe because I was afraid she might notice and talk to me. I don’t know, I’m probably just paranoid. 

 

After a few teases and laughter, everyone started to mind their own business, their eyes weren’t glued on us anymore and shots were starting to round out circle again. Mina, even though I’m on her lap, seems to not mind. She even drank three straight shots. I, however, became really quiet. 

 

“Unnie…” I trail off as I look back at her. She looks at me, her gaze soft. “Don’t drink so much. You don’t want to end up drunk.” I tell her softly. She just smiled and then she nodded. After this, I felt her arms wrap around my waist. She’s pulling me closer to her. My eyes widen and my face starts to feel hot again. 

 

Clean thoughts only, Son Chaeyoung. Clean thoughts only,  you little . 

 

“I wish you’d just sit comfortably.” She whispers, her left arm wrapped around my waist while her right hand receives the shots. I just nodded, trying to keep my cool. But all I know is that my heart is beating the fastest rate it has even beaten before. I might end up having a heart attack here but it would be totally worth it. 

 

Clean thoughts only, Son Chaeyoung. Clean thoughts only, you little . 

 

“Yoo Jeongyeon, stand up. You’re up.” Says Jihyo firmly, she looked red but it’s probably just a drunk blush.  She doesn't seem drunk, Thomas seems like she can handle her alcohol. “Truth or Dare? Take you pick ostrich.”Says Jihyo unnie in a tough tone.

 

Jeongyeon unnie stands up and then she chooses Truth.  Suddenly Momo unnie stands up and raises her hand. She’s got a question. Everyone’s eyes are glued to her. 

 

“Jeongyeon-ah, if you were a guy, out of everyone here, who would you most want to sleep with?” Momo unnie asks without missing a beat. Everyone’s eyes widen and I hear Mina unnie snicker. Why is she snickering? 

 

“Yah. Isn’t that question too much?” Asks Jeongyeon unnie.

 

“It’s a hypothetical question, Pabo. It’s not too much!” Momo fires back. Everyone applauds at what Momo says. I just clap along. I see Jeongyeon unnie make this face and then she just shakes her head.

 

“Give me some of Sana’s drink.” We hear defeat in her tone. She refuses to answer the question. I mean, I’d refuse to answer that question too, Jeez. 

 

Sana unnie hurriedly pours some drink for Jeongyeon unnie and then Jeongyeon unnie snatches the cup instantly. Without thinking twice, she downs the drink. I swear, the room went silent. 

 

When she finished the drink, she didn’t wince even one bit. The weird thing I noticed though, after she put her cup down, she directly stared at Nayeon unnie. They both had this lingering stare. The stare, it looked like it meant something. As a woman who identifies as someone who swings both ways, I can tell whatever just happened meant something more. I don’t know why no one started teasing them. I don’t know, it’s probably because the others are either too tired or just tipsy to even notice. 

 

“Sana. Stand up. It’s your turn.” Says Jeongyeon unnie, her voice seemed flat. Sana Stands up and then Jeongyeon unnie asks her to choose between Truth or Dare. Sana unnie, being the adventurous girl that she is, she picks dare. Everyone, drunkenly applauded. Nayeon unnie then reached for the fish bowl and then fished out a piece of paper. 

 

“Sana.” Nayeon unnie calls Sana unnie’s attention. “I dare you to pick someone.” Says Nayeon unnie. Sana unnie looked confused. 

 

“Look, I was the one to make all the dares. I don’t remember writing that one.” Complains the girl who looked like a Shiba-inu. A smirk forms on Nayeon unnie’s lips. 

 

“Stop complaining and just do what I say.” Says Nayeon unnie sharply. Sana pouts and then she looks around, searching for someone to pick. Her eyes stop when she sees Kim Dahyun. 

 

“Alright, I pick Kim Dahyun.” Says Sana eagerly. She’s even smiling. Nayeon unnie’s smirk grew bigger. The bunny nods in satisfaction.

 

“You have to Skinny-dip with her in the hot-tub. It’s on the top floor, Sana-yah.” Nayeon unnie clicked her tongue. Everyone’s got this look on their face. Even Kim Dahyun, that lesbian, looked mortified. Everyone started cheering for them, and as the room grew louder I felt Mina unnie tap me. I looked back, I was still sitting on her. She looked horrible. 

 

I instantly stood up, I was right. She also needed to stand up, she looked border-line drunk. I’ve seen that face at Teal bar before. I know that look. She started groggily walking away from the circle, nobody’s noticed though so I decided to slowly walk behind her. I made sure I followed her, who knows? The girl might trip. As she walked towards the stairs, she looked back and then she locked eyes with me. I froze, she just stared. Her gaze pierced through me. 

 

“Are you following me?” She asks in a slurred voice. 

 

“No. Why would I do that?” I lie. 

 

“Whatever.” She walks towards me and then she grabs my hand.

 

Clean thoughts only, Son Chaeyoung. Clean thoughts only, you little . 

 

She entwined  her fingers to mine. I just stared at her, I am sober. Whatever’s happening right now is too much for Sober Son Chaeyoung to handle. “Come with me. I need company.” She pulls me close and then she starts walking upstairs. 

 

Even though she’s drunk, her grip was strong. I just walk with her, wherever she wants to go. As we continue to roam the second floor, I notice that she’s heading to her bedroom. She’s probably going to sleep. When she reached the door, she flung the whole thing open like the door was nothing. Inside, there were two beds and then the penguin let go of my hand. She then just dropped herself on the bed. 

 

I just stare at her.

 

“Yah. Pabo. You can’t do that. You have to wash up and remove your makeup.” I nag her. She just groans.

 

“No. I don’t want to!” She refused like a five year old child. I just stare at her, she’s facing the ceiling, her eyes closed. 

 

“Jeez. At least brush your teeth, will you?” I ask her. Unexpectedly, the penguin suddenly sat straight up. Like, she really did this so suddenly that I start to question whether she’s alright in the head. She stares at me, she stands up, and walks towards the comfort room. I hear the water running. I walk and peek through the opened door, she’s brushing her teeth. She notices that I was looking at her. She stops and turns off the faucet.

 

“Happy now, honey?” She sounded so sarcastic that I couldn’t help but just snort. I nod my head and then she continues to brush her teeth.

 

“While you’re at it, wash your face. Okay?” I jokingly tell her and I see her make a face. After telling her what to do, I walked to her bed and started to arrange the comforter, pillows, and bedsheet where they’re supposed to. After that, I walk towards the comfort room and see her cleansing her face. I go inside and open the cabinet to grab some spare toothbrush meant for the visitors and then brush my teeth. 

 

“Feeling a lot better?” I ask her, my voice sounded a little muffled. She just nods and then she finishes up. She walks back to her bed with her eyes half-closed. I just let her be while I brush my teeth. After brushing, I walk to where Mina is and is welcomed by Mina unnie sleeping on her bed. She looked peaceful. 

 

“Mina unnie, I’ll go ahead now. Good night.” I softly told her, but her eyes slowly opened and she gave me this look. The lights were dim but I can see that her cheeks are red.

 

“Sleep with me.” The penguin nonchalantly tells me. I almost choke with what she says. I just stare at her in disbelief.

 

“I-I beg your pardon?” I ask her, trying to sound a lot less shaken than I’m supposed to be. She’s still staring at me, she looks unfazed. It’s probably because of the alcohol.

 

“I hate sleeping alone. Accompany me until I fall asleep.” Says Mina sluggishly. I can’t believe she’s asking me this the second time around.

 

 But of course, who am I to say no. Right?

 

I nod, slowly walk to her bed, and lay beside her. I was facing her. She closed her eyes, I could hear her breathe. Her small cute snores make me smile. 

 

“This is the last time I’m going to let you order me around.” I tell her and I see her smile. She nods her head even though her eyes are closed. “You should know your limits next time, okay?” I whisper. She slowly opened her eyes, we’re staring at each other. Is she really drunk? 

 

“Why? Will you be there?” Her voice faint.

 

The way she said it made me think that maybe she’s just pretending to be drunk. She pouts, still, our gazes locked. She’s got this got demeanor I’ve never seen before, as if waiting for me to answer her question.

 

“Where?” I play along. She smiles, a weirdly soft smile. I smile too. 

 

“The next time I drink, will you be there?” She asked me. She’s staring at me the whole time. All this staring is making me a little uncomfortable. I just nod, and she nods back. The room was silent, I could clearly hear even the faintest sounds. The light was dim, just enough for me to see her facial expression. I don’t know, my eyes, they’re glued to her.

 

“Chaengie…” She trails off. I mouth ‘yes?’ to her. “I can’t sleep.” She pouts. I just chuckle and remember how she liked holding onto something when she’s drunk. I just nod and slowly take her hands. I hold onto them, entwining our fingers together. After this, she closed her eyes. 

 

I don’t know how I got myself into whatever this is. Seeing her half , Sitting on her lap, laying next to her, and holding her hands. I would not have expected for these things to happen to me when I moved into our dormitory. I just moved to Seoul to attend the University. But I guess, life indeed is funny. 

 

She looked like an angel while she slept. She looks almost unreal, ethereal even. I know, this isn't alcohol. I’m acting based on my sober emotions. 

 

As she breathed softly, I slowly rubbed my thumbs on her hands, hoping that this would help her sleep. 

 

“Mina unnie…” I whisper. Making sure my voice was at its lowest. She was still holding onto me, I fixed my gaze on her lips. I gulp. My heart starts to race. Images and thoughts start to flood my head. I try to shake everything out of my mind. This is not right.

 

I shouldn’t be thinking like this!

 

As a closeted biual, I try my best to avoid and have feelings for people immediately. Especially beautiful girls. I know this sounds so shallow but I’m just saying! The reason for this is that these girls might actually be straight. I don’t want to cause that type of harm to myself. However, amidst this, I cannot guarantee myself to not fall for straight girls. It happens sometimes.

 

“Mina unnie…” I called out to her again, this time I increased the volume off my voice a little. I want to know whether she’s asleep. 

 

I got no response.

 

“Are you awake?” I ask her, our fingers still entwined. I see her bite her lower lip. I just stare at her in awe. I couldn’t believe this is actually happening right now. My heart rate, it’s slowly rising. I feel my cheeks slowly become hotter by the minute. I feel this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, butterflies? 

 

“Mina unnie…” I trail off, making sure my voice was at its lowest. “Myoui Mina, Listen carefully.” I whisper. I wait for her to react, but I was sure she was asleep. I just stare and smile at her. 

 

“I think I have feelings for you.” I whisper as I remove one of my hands from her grasp just to cup her cheek. I just feel like, I won’t be able to do this ever again. I smile, feeling a rush of emotions wash over me. 

 

Just as I was about to let go of her hands, she opened her eyes. My eyes widen, and I just freeze. It felt like I stopped breathing for a second. Her gaze, it pricked me. I was ready for her to shout for help or whatever. I was ready for her to kick me and beat my . But instead, she just stared.

 

Just as I was about to speak, she let go of my hand. She just looked at me, her hands then slowly slid to my nape. I felt the warmth of her touch on my neck and I just breathed slowly, not sure with what’s happening. She leaned in and pulled me close, still looking me in the eye.  

 

That’s when my hands instinctively moved on their own. They found their place on her hips, pulling her close to me too, not wanting to let go. I close my eyes and that’s when I feel our lips touch. I am lost in the bubble of time and space, I felt her soft lips press against mine, her warm body pressing against me. My hands as if having a mind of their own, caressed her thighs, softly, slowly sliding to places they shouldn’t touch. That’s when I realized shorts really are easy to invade if the will to do so present. I feel my body start to want more than just a kiss. 

 

I want her, her body, her whole being. I want Myoui Mina. 

 

But this isn’t how this is supposed to go. I abruptly stopped. I sat straight up. “I’m sorry…” I trail off. I tried to gain my composure first. I still feel everything, her lips, her touch, her body, her scent. Everything about her. I then look at her and notice that she’s looking away as if she doesn’t want to talk. I can hear her breathe, and I just sat there. I don’t know what to say, a cloud of dread started to form above me. 

 

“Mina, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” I tell her softly, hoping that she’d at least look at me. I wanted to reach for her shoulder, but I couldn't. I shouldn’t.

 

“Is that all you can say? You’re sorry?” She replies, disappointment is in the air. I can feel it. 

 

“Mina…” I don’t know what to say. 

 

“Leave me alone.” Her voice faint but I know she meant what she said. 

 

“But.” I was about to grab her but she flinched.

 

“Please leave.” She pulls the covers up and turns her back to me. 

 

The dark cloud above me has successfully taken over my entire being. What can I do? I just stood up and quickly got out of her room. Without skipping a beat, I walked inside to my shared room with Tzuyu, jumped on my bed and just did my best to fall asleep. I felt frustrated. I felt horrible. this. 

 

The next day I was awoken by Jeongyeon unnie literally banging pots and pans to wake everyone up. Literally. I sit straight up, my hair all over the place, my dried saliva on the corner of my mouth, and my mood at its lowest. I stared at her blankly as she roamed around the corridor. I hear Tzuyu curse something under her breath. I couldn’t understand her. She probably cursed in Mandarin or something. Nonetheless, I stand up, wash my face and brush my teeth. 

 

As I walk downstairs, I hear a commotion. Still irritated by the fact that I was awoken by pots and pans banging , I just kept quiet while walking towards the dining room. As I get closer, I see a ton of dishes on the table and the unnies huddled around together. Being the person that I am, I just walk to the table and take my seat.  

 

“Oh? Good morning. Sleep well?” Asks Jihyo unnie, I just look at her and nod. 

 

“Unnie, what time did you guys finish drinking last night?” Tzuyu asks. 

 

As they continue their conversation, I just sit still and look around. Though everything on the table seems complete, no one has started digging in yet. I grab my phone and start to scroll through my feed. 

 

“Everyone, breakfast’s ready. Let’s dig in!” Shouts Jeongyeon unnie. I look over to see her carrying some side dishes in a tray. Behind her was Mina, smiling. Were they cooking together or something? I quickly look away and just start eating my breakfast. 

 

“Anyway, where were you guys last night?” Asks Nayeon unnie. I look up, because I know who she was referring to. “Mina and Chaeyoung, where were you guys last night?” Nayeon unnie rephrased her question. I look over to Mina who’s conversation with Jeongyeon suddenly halted. Mina stares at Nayeon unnie like she doesn’t understand what the bunny was talking about.

 

“Ah, really. You guys missed so much last night.” Adds Momo and she eats a spoonful of rice. I just pretend to nod at her enthusiastically. “Lots of things happened after you guys went upstairs.” Says Momo. I almost choked on what I was eating when she said this.

 

“You guys went up together?” Asks Jeongyeon to Mina. Mina had this blank look on her face, she looked almost bored. She takes a spoonful of her food and she eats it before answering. 

 

“Did we go upstairs together?” Mina turned her gaze to me when she asked this. I just stare back at her, I felt this intense hollow feeling inside me when she asked me that stupid question.

 

“ I don’t know. Did we?” I reply, almost nonchalantly as I shove another spoonful of food in my mouth. Some seemed uninterested with our conversation, I see Tzuyu, Sana, and Jihyo just talking about another completely different topic. 

 

“I’m not so sure. I was so drunk last night.” She chuckles and then others laughed along. I just sit there quietly eating my food, just minding my own business. 

 

“Me too, I can’t remember anything from last night.” I replied flatly, not looking anyone in the eye. I shove another spoonful of food into my mouth as I feel this annoyance take over me.