SON CHAEYOUNG'S POINT OF VIEW

It all happened so fast, it felt like I was in a dream. First I was just sleeping, well, I have been having a difficult time sleeping so that's another thing. Well, I woke up, received a call from Sana unnie, and just like that I am now in Japan. It felt like I was in a dream-like state, everything happened so fast.  Everything should have clicked when she said I needed to bring my passport. I don't know why nothing seemed to have clicked inside my head that time, maybe I did understand it and subconsciously I also wanted what was happening. Maybe I secretly wanted to join Mina. 

Honestly, I don't know anymore. 

The flight was fast, the travel from Seoul to Tokyo lasted less than two hours. When we landed we were greeted by their family car and we immediately proceeded to Tokyo's largest Hospital which is St. Luke's. Since I wasn't a family member I opted to stay in the waiting room, I was there for hours on end but since I was shameless I just slept it off and hours later I was awoken by a slight movement. It was Mina, she sat next to me.

"Oh, it's you." I muttered, my voice was still a little groggy from my sleep. I sat straight up and stared at her, she seemed to have calmed down. I mean, she was eerily calm when we got here.

"It's almost night time." She replies, she didn't sound worried or stressed out. What she said made me look at my wrist-watch. It was quarter to six in the evening. I just stared at my watch for the longest time, I couldn't believe I slept for that long. 

"Oh wow." I huffed, a little taken aback with much I wasted my time here in Japan. "How's Kai?" I immediately asked her, I almost forgot about him. She nodded at me and I see a weak glint in her eyes, I don't know whether that meant good news. But she seems well and not scared. 

"He's awake now. He must've missed his younger sister cause the moment we arrived here, that was when he regained his consciousness." She smiles, her eyes look like they were teary. Her eyes looked happy but weak.

Wait, Kai regained consciousness the moment we arrived here? Doesn't that mean he's been awake for hours now?

"I'm sorry, but why didn't you wake me up?" I asked her, I felt embarrassed about sleeping through everything. She smiled at me, this made my heart warm. Seeing her smile made me happy and it scared me. 

"Well, they still had to run some tests on him and I wanted to stay here. When I came to check on you, you were asleep. I felt sorry for disturbing you and bringing you all the way here that's why I just let you sleep." She replies, she sounded nice and calm. I couldn't help but just stare at her. 

"I'm happy that Kai is doing all better now." I tell her and I smiled. 

"I'm happy too." She looked down. 

I couldn't say much really. I wasn't really good with comforting people, I at that. So instead of saying something, I just scooted closer to her. After that, we didn't really talk. We just sat next to each other all quiet. But even though words weren't said, I made sure that my intentions were felt, and that is to be by her side during these trying times. 

That night I was once again picked up by their family car and was immediately sent to a Hotel. Apparently, Mina's father has booked a room for me. I actually wanted to ask her where I was supposed to stay for the night. I'm glad such thing was taken care of. Mina told me that she's got my back while I'm in Japan. I'm thankful to her for that because I don't think I'd be able to converse in Nihongo at all. 

Mina and I didn't really see each other after I was transported to the Hotel. According to Mina, her parents also are staying in the same hotel as well. I don't know, she's probably also in the same building as I am. But that's not the point, the point is I have a place to stay and that's enough. I'm thankful for that, at least. I don't really have plans right now. I'll probably head home tomorrow or the next day. I don't know.

I don't have the heart to ask Mina such things yet, I'll probably wait what she's going to do next. 

I don't what time it was but I was awoken by the jiggling of the doorknob in my hotel room. I was a little mystified as to why such a thing was happening to a five-star Hotel in Tokyo. My stupid shouted something in Korean at whatever was outside my door. 

I can't speak Japanese very well, sorry Japanese entity outside my door. 

I was so close to actually calling the reception desk and asking for help when suddenly the door spewed out Myoui Mina. I just stared and placed the phone where it's supposed to be. She looked confused too. I almost wanted to throw a pillow at her.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you up?" She asked, she looked a little taken aback and she realized how stupid that question was. 

"What does it look like?" I reply, a little too sarcastically, even though the lights were dim I see her make a face. "I thought you were staying with your parents?" I asked her, she stared at me.

"I can't stay in the same room as them." She says this like it made sense. "Anyway, I'll stay here if I want to. I can't sleep in the lobby, can I? That won't make sense." She adds as she sat on the edge of the bed, she then started taking her shoes and socks off. I just stared at her, I wish she wasn't serious. 

"What are you looking at?" She asked. She sounded harsh, it seemed out of character.

"You." I replied immediately. "Who else am I supposed to stare at? I can't see dead people, can I?" I snort as I get out of bed and walk over to the couch. There, I made myself comfortable. I wasn't going to sleep next to her. It felt awkward. She gave me this look and then she just sighed. 

"Anyway, you can borrow my clothes. Sorry for dragging you all the way here." She seemed bitter when she said this, this made me almost angry. Why does she have to say it that way? She can be nicer, honestly.

"I went here not because of you. It's because Sana unnie asked me to do this as a favor for her." I lie almost too perfectly, I almost believed myself. She just nodded her head and dozed off, not changing to comfortable clothes. I mean, who am I to judge her when I myself haven't changed clothes yet?  I'll just have to borrow some of her clothes tomorrow. 

"Okay, thank you for granting Sana's wish." She replies dryly. 

"Okay." I replied even more dryly. 

"Good night then." To me, it seems like she's trying to prolong the conversation. 

"Nights." I reply as I turn my back against hers and just pretend like I didn't care at all.

The next day came, although Kai was feeling a lot better, he's still supposed to undergo lots and lots of tests in order to make sure that he's on his road to a full recovery. As promised, Mina lent me some of her clothes and of course, fresh undergarments. It felt awkward at first but I knew beggars can't be choosers, right? I'm the beggar as of the moment. 

Again, I spent half a day in the waiting room. I don't really know what's going on in there and I don't really think I should stick my nose where it doesn't belong. I've been in Japan for two days and all I've done is be in the hospital and be in the Hotel. I also haven't seen Mina's parents, it sure makes me wonder what they look like. I haven't seen photos of them.

Even though there has been a rift between Mina and I, I can't afford to act like I completely don't care about her. Things happen and people might end up hurting us, but that doesn't mean that we should actively choose to become deliberately mean to them. I believe that we all should choose to be kind to people, no matter what they've done to us. 

"Hey, I think you need this." I whisper, handing her the coffee from the vending machine around the corner. Mina has just joined me in the waiting room, she looked tired and it seemed like she was about to fall sick. She gave me a look for a few seconds and then accepted the coffee. 

"Thank you." She replies softly, she then took small sips from the cup. I just stared at her and realized how beaten she looks. 

"Is everything okay?" I ask her, it seemed like that was an insensitive question. But the words already came out of my mouth so I can't really do much. 

"Everything is fine, actually." She takes her gaze off of the television which I couldn't understand a word. "I already conversed with Kai, I was allowed inside awhile ago. Tears streamed down his face when he saw me." her emotions became more apparent the more she talked and I understood her. I also have a brother and I would be devastated if he'd go through the same thing. I don't think I'd be able to react as calmly as Mina. 

"He missed you, that's why." I tell her, she stared at me for quite some time. I didn't understand what her gaze meant or maybe I was too shallow to comprehend such a thing. 

"You've been kind, you know." She starts off, the statement somehow made me feel soft inside. "And I want you to know that I am thankful for that. You've showed me nothing but kindness and here I am being the biggest to you." She chuckles.

"Mina." I try to stop her because this isn't really the time to have this conversation right now. 

"I honestly wish you all the best in life." She smiled, but her eyes seemed sad. I couldn't really say anything so I just huffed. "You deserve so much more than what you have. I can't fathom the thought of you being hurt like you meant nothing." She adds.

Maybe it was the way she said it, or the fact that we both know she's talking about herself, I don't really know. But the image of her talking to me genuinely made me tear up a little. I couldn't stop it, it felt as if she was stirring my insides with her words. I looked down, I was too afraid to show her that I am indeed affected because of her words. I can't bear to show her my eyes. 

"I don't know what you're talking about." I reply. 

I know I could've done the exact opposite and have just faced the issue between us head-on. But I felt awful trying to ride her emotions as of the moment. I know she's a lot more vulnerable right now and I know she isn't in the right head-space to talk about what happened to us. I don't want to be an and take advantage of the situation. If there are indeed things that we need to discuss, I don't think the right time is now. 

"It's been a long day, do you want to go back to the Hotel and rest?" I ask her, that seemed like the best question to ask. I knew she was tired. She stared at me and just nodded. Shortly after that I accompanied her to our Hotel room and let her sleep like a log on the bed. I just sat at the couch which overlooked the beautiful City of Tokyo. I couldn't believe what I got myself into again.

Mina slept until it was nighttime. Our sleeping schedules have been ed since we landed in Japan, not because of the time difference because Korea and Japan are very close. It's probably the stress, honestly. The whole time she slept I kept myself preoccupied. I listened to some music, I watched some television, and I even streamed Netflix. 

"Do you want to eat?" were the first words that came out of when our eyes met. She sounded groggy, her hair was a mess, and she looked far from perfect. I was looking at Mina without any filter. 

"Yeah, I think I'd want to do that." I answered immediately.

"I didn't mean go out when I said I wanted to eat." I begrudgingly say while we were waiting for our order to arrive. Mina stared at me, I've never seen her stare at me like that. It was almost like she was annoyed, it was amusing. She's always just been patient, proper, and nice. It's nice to see this side of her.

"I wanted to take you out. Is that a crime? It's the least I could do to repay you for coming with me here." She sounded annoyed, this made me smile a little. I mean, it sounds sick that I'm enjoying this but it's actually sort of cool seeing her lose her chill. 

"So are you annoyed at me right now?" I chuckle, wanting to annoy her more. She gave me this look of disappointment but I just shake my head. So this is what she is when she's not in a good mood. That's new.

"No, I wish we could just enjoy this." She huffed. 

If I were to be honest, I don't understand why she wants to go out and eat. We could've just ordered room service. But no, we had to get dressed and do it her way. And yes, I had to borrow some of her stuff again. It's embarrassing how unprepared I am for this whole thing. Who the hell travels to an entirely different country without extra clothes? Me. I'm that idiot. 

"Can we please return to the hotel after eating? It's getting cold. I hate the cold." I plead, wishing she'd just hear me out. She stared at me for a bit and then nodded.

It didn't take long for our orders to arrive. The real reason why I am opposed to eating outside is that I'd be forced to interact with her. If we were only in our rooms I'd have the excuse to not really talk that much. I could just watch television and eat. Also, I don't know how to talk to her anymore. Mina hasn't changed, okay? But I've changed. I have this constant fear that if I let myself feel comfortable around her, I'd just get my heart broken again. 

"Why'd you agree to accompany me to Japan?" She asked this out of the blue. It was such a random question. I stared at her, I wasn't really sure how to handle the whole situation. 

"What?" that is all that my could say. 

"I mean, none of your actions made sense." She replies. 

We were already back at the hotel, we didn't really stay long at the restaurant. We ate and left, that's all. It had just turned nine in the evening, the night was still young. The television helped not making the room too quiet, I loved it. 

"Look who's talking." I sarcastically replied as I stared at the view below me. It was the beautiful City of Tokyo, I was once again seated on the sofa while Mina was seated on the bed. I didn't want to look at her. 

"Jesus, Son Chaeyoung. Stop being so damn argumentative." She replies. 

"I'm not! God." I complain, huffing in the process. "Stop assuming all the time." I add, which honestly felt like a mistake. I've heard that Myoui Mina hates losing. Now, I've assumed that this meant she hates losing in her games, right? But this night, I've proven myself wrong. 

"It's a simple question, just answer it." She repeats again. "Why? You don't know the language, you don't know how long you'd be staying here, and you've basically got no extra clothes with you. None of your actions made sense. So why?" She asked me, her voice sounded distressed. 

I stared at her and then everything came back to me. Sana unnie was the one who welcomed me when I arrived at the airport. It was foggy maybe because I was tired but I knew that time I wanted reasons as to why she wants me to take her place. 

"Why? Why me? Why?" I repeated on and on the moment I saw Sana unnie. "I'm not the only person in the dorms. Why the hell am I always dragged into situations like this?!" I sounded so mean that I instantly regret saying the things that came out of my mouth.

"Chaeyoung-ah, calm down. Please." She begged, wanting me to quiet down. 

"I don't want to get involved." I told her. "I've had enough of this, I just want to be able to have a quiet time by myself, is that such a difficult thing?" I ask. 

"But Mina said she needs you." 

Sana unnie's words rang inside my head. Even during the flight, my head felt like it was a gong. It felt like it was constantly being hit by Sana unnie's words. Mina needs you. Mina needs you. Mina needs you. Mina needs you. 

"Why'd you take Sana's place?" Mina asked again. This brought me back to reality. No more flashbacks. 

There are so many ways that I can answer her question. But as much as possible I don't want to reignite whatever we had. I needed to answer her as plainly as possible. 

"It's because I wanted to do Sana unnie a favor. I owed her a lot. That's all." I lie through my teeth. At first she seemed dissatisfied with my answer, but I wasn't giving her more than that. I don't know what she's trying to do but my concern as of the moment is my well being. She seemed discouraged, it was as if a fire inside her was extinguished. 

"I wish we could talk more." This suddenly came out of . The moment I agreed to accompany her here, I was afraid that she might do this. 

"What for? We don't really have anything to talk about." I reply but I honestly want her to push more. 

Please push more. 

This time I was already staring at her, waiting for her to say something more. But all of a sudden, my phone buzzed. It was Jihyo unnie, she said that she'll video call me right now. This caught me off guard because she's usually not like this. 

"What?" Mina asked, she was obviously curious. 

"Jihyo unnie wants to videocall." I reply, this made MIna stand up and sit right next to me, that was when I see Jihyo unnie's  request. I approved it and was greeted by not only Jihyo unnie but by the others too. 

"What's going on? Why are you guys all together? Did something happen?" Asks Mina. 

"Turn your televison to the News Channel." Says Dahyun seriously. 

"Stupid. They're in Japan." Whispers Momo which made me laugh.

"MinWoo is all over Naver." Says Jeongyeon unnie, I don't know how to describe how she said it. But when those words came out of , I almost fell out of my seat. Mina who was right beside me hurriedly opened her phone and scrolled through Naver. I was just there, holding onto my phone. I can see Nayeon unnie in shock and in disbelief. She just seemed out of it. 

Jung Minwoo, the heir of their Company has been found inside the basement of another college student from Seoul National University. The girl was lucky enough to have not been hurt. Reading everything in Naver somehow wore me out, it was as if I was drained. It was difficult to process everything. So many questions flooded my head. Honestly, it was amazing how the media didn't even try to hide his identity. Photos of him in handcuffs and with a mask on is all over Naver. 

The news made me sick to my stomach, I felt like I wanted to throw up. But I needed to be strong, I can't react harshly especially that I'm with Mina, I know this sounds dumb but I need to be strong for her. 

I hated Minwoo, I hated him with all my guts. I have always been honest about wanting to hurt him, I have never lied about that. But now I've found out that he's been hiding under that girl's basement made me realize how dangerous and crazy he is for dragging the issue about assaulting Sana to such great length. He's evading police by living in some girl's empty basement. How many days has he been hiding in there? I'm mad and I feel this deep rage inside of me, how could he intertwine and play with women's lives as if their lives are a joke? 

"Do you think he'll ever go to trial for all the bull he did?" I ask Mina. She gave me this look and she just shrugged. 

"I honestly don't know. The Korean Justice system is corrupt. I mean, all justice systems are corrupt. Given the fact that he is an heir to a big company in Korea, I'd have to say I don't know. But if there is enough evidence then maybe." She replies. We just sat on the couch, the view was great. We were just drinking tea that we ordered from room service since we're experiencing such cold weather.

"Do you think he'll ever pay for what he did?" I ask her. 

"He should pay for what he did." She replies sternly. Then the room fell very silent, it was already one in the morning and I have no idea why I'm still not asleep. Our flight is supposed to be tomorrow, I sure hope I'd be able to wake up early. I can't miss the flight. 

"Chaeng-ah."She calls my attention, I look at her and I see her pouring me another cup of tea. "Here you go." She hands me the cup.

"Thanks." I nod my head at her and receive the cup. All this time, I was just stealing glances of her. 

"I want you to know that I'm beyond sorry for what has happened between us." She suddenly broke the silence by saying this. I didn't flinch, I just kept staring at the city below me. I didn't say anything, I just kept quiet. I wanted to let her stew, I wanted to see what she's going to say next. 

"I just think that the act of you accompanying me here in Japan meant something more." She adds, she sounded careful when she said this. 

"I think it would be best if you don't assume things." I tell her, I want to make things clear between us. 

"Assume what? That you care? How the hell am I not supposed to assume that when you voluntarily come with me here? Tell me. How?" This was the first time she's ever yelled at me. During our trip, she's been moodier and I understand why. 

"Look, I understand why you're behaving like this. You're going through stuff and I get it." For the first time today, I look at her during our conversation. She's red, she looked annoyed and I couldn't tell if she was about to cry. 

"I've already told you I've got no more problems with Kai. Why do you keep swerving?" She asked me, her voice bounced inside our room. I just stared at her, I wasn't sure how to answer her question. "Do you care about whatever we had at all?" She asked me. 

"What?" I chuckled. "No, let me ask you. Did you even care for what we had?" I asked her the question back. 

"Yes." She answered. 

"Well, everyone cares at first!" I replied, I wanted to end our conversation. I hate the fact that I am in Japan and that I am forced to be with her in one room. It's so difficult to ignore her. 

"I never stopped caring about you." She replied without skipping a beat. 

I turned my gaze to her, unsure of how to respond with what she just said. I never stopped caring about you. What a convenient thing to say. She's such a poet, she knows how to talk. 

"Please stop toying with me." I chuckle, but of course, I wasn't happy with whatever she was saying. 

"Whatever I did must've affected you so much. I might have really messed you up." She says this as if it's only a recent realization. 

Pain would change anyone.

"There was really nothing between us after all." I tell her the exact opposite of what I wanted to say. She stared at me for a short time, her piercing gaze, it was back. Then she stood up and packed her things, I could only watch as this happened. 

"What are you doing?" I ask her.

"I'm staying at my parent's room. I don't think I can sleep here tonight." She replies as she finished packing her things. She then closed her luggage while I just stared, wanting to take everything I said back. "Come on, please don't do this." I suddenly found myself begging for her to stay. She didn't listen though because I see her walking towards the door with her things. 

"Mina, let's be mature about this." What I actually wanted to say was 'Please don't leave me.'

I didn't realise the impact of my words when she suddenly turned to me, her eyes were all red. She was crying, her lips trembling.

"I'm sorry for making you feel like there wasn't anything between us. I admit that I also had my lapses, but I am damn sure that I never used you to realize my feelings for Nayeon." She says this with such conviction that I feel as if I was being torn inside, my hands and feet were cold and I'm pretty sure my eyes are about to give up too.

"Please, stop." I ask her nicely, I didn't want to hear whatever she wanted to say. I was afraid that I might want her back if I do. 

"Yes, I liked Nayeon. I don't deny that." She adds.

"Please, Mina. I can't listen to you anymore." I tell her, I knew I was selfish for not listening and making her shut up. I knew I have to listen to her at some point, but I guess I'm too afraid. But I wanted to listen, I really do. I just think everything is such a mess right now. 

"But the moment you came into my life, I forgot about her. You became the person I wanted to be with and it hurts me so much that you won't even listen to me just once. What I've shown you were genuine. All of it. I made nothing of it up even my feeling for you. I like you until now and I can't get you out of my head. I care for you and I hope to God that you'd stop being stubborn and start listening." More tears fall from her eyes, she's staring at me probably waiting for my response. 

"I don't know what to tell you." My voice trembled, I felt weak and all I wanted to do was hold her but my body isn't allowing me. I missed her and it took one flight to Japan for me to realize this.

"Will you please consider coming back to me?" She stared at me, her eyes conveyed that she's hurt.

"I don't know if I'll ever think of that." It feels awful saying this, but it's true. I miss her but that doesn't mean I want to be back with her right now. 

"Consider it for me, will you? That's my wish." She smiled at me weakly, her eyes hurt, and her voice trembling. I just stared at her, I didn't know what to say, and before I could I say anything, she just left. Just like that, she left me alone. 

At first, I didn't understand why she was wishing such thing until I turned around and got a view of the window. It was snowing. My first snow for this year is in Japan and that's why she was wishing. First snows carry this bearing in my country. She wanted to start anew with me but I didn't know if I feel the same way. I just stared at downtown Tokyo starting to be covered by tiny drops of snow and I wished she never left.