Yoo Jeongyeon’s Point of View

“Do you think this is really necessary?” Momo asks me as I pack things in my bag, I didn’t pack much. I just packed some essentials for a one day trip. Jihyo stood right by my door, she’s leaning on the door frame. I just sighed, I also wasn’t sure. 

“Is Dahyun awake?” I ask them, ignoring Momo’s question. 

“She’s asleep, Jeong.” Answers Park Jihyo, she smiles weakly at me. I just smile back, I then close my small bag. Momo was seated on the edge of my bed, she’s just there staring at me. Momo had this curious look on her face, she doesn’t understand what was going on. Only Jihyo knew, I guess Miss Park knows the secrets that these four corners hold. 

“Pabo, you know it’s your birthday tomorrow. Why would you go on a trip all by yourself? It doesn’t make any sense.” Momo says this, she sounded frustrated. I just smiled at her, leaned in, and ruffled her hair. 

“Are you telling me not to go then?” I jokingly asked Momo, she just smirked. Jihyo was just there standing right by the door frame. She just listened intently. She knows where I am going. 

“At least be careful, will you?” Momo smiles weakly and I nod. I know what she means, she’s just been very worried lately. I then grabbed my bag and wore it. It was a leather bag, with essentials inside. 

“Yeah, I’ll be careful. Don’t worry so much about me.” I assure her, I walk towards Jihyo. She smiles at me and hands me the keys for her mercedes. 

“Please be careful, Jeongyeon.” She said this sternly. I knew what she meant. She didn’t mean to take care of her car, she meant a completely different thing. I just smiled and nodded.

“Why are these losers acting like I’m going away forever? I’ll be back tomorrow!” I laugh. I feel Momo put her arm around me. I just smile at her, she doesn’t know where I’ll be going though. “Just tell Dahyun I’ll be back tomorrow. You know how much that girl overreacts.” I remind them. 

“I’m worried about that girl too. She’s been withdrawn lately. It feels as if I do not know what goes on in this house.” Whispers Jihyo and we just nod. Many things have happened, everything’s been quite sad lately. I then walk out and am greeted by Jihyo’s Mercedes parked right outside of our dormitory. Right before I enter the car, I stop and look at the dorm next door. 

“Don’t forget to check on them from time to time.” I told them, the both of them just nod. This gave me the confidence that they both would look after the kids next door. 

Tomorrow will be my birthday, I will be turning 23. I’ve spent most of my birthdays with my friends since I’ve moved to the dorms. Every year, someone new comes along. A new addition is always happiness for all of us. So far though, this year must be one of the most difficult birthdays I have to go through. 

It was dawn when I woke up, I knew I’d go and visit Nayeon before my birthday. I knew I would do this, I’ve promised her. I’ve promised her right before we left weeks ago, I know she’s been lonely. We haven't gotten a call from her since, but we all understood. She’s going through stuff and it’s normal for her to isolate herself first. But you see, I’ve promised to come and visit her. Actually, my visit has been long overdue and I just think the poor girl needs some company. 

At first Jihyo never knew what was happening, I mean, Nayeon and I were pretty chill about things. Even though there was tension between us, we always kept things where they should be. When Nayeon and I  fought, the fight was just between us. We don’t share it to others because we know that by doing so, we’d only create a divide in our group of friends. We both know better. 

Anyway, I never told Jihyo the full extent of why I’m leaving in such a hurry. I just looked at her and told her that I needed to borrow her car. Park Jihyo was the understanding type of person, you don’t have to tell her everything. She’s the type who would just know that you’re going through things. It’s as if, with just one look, she understood why I needed to go and see Nayeon. I never have to go through details with her. She doesn’t push, she just lets you share what you can. She’s that type of person. 

The drive from the City to where Nayeon’s grandmother resides is a decent drive if one left the city at dawn. That’s why I decided to leave at dawn, I just don’t want to go through such stupid traffic. It was troublesome enough that I had to go and make all this effort to see that person. I don’t want to give myself a headache by going through traffic. Please, I still love myself. 

The drive was easy, the only thing that I had to deal with was being sleepy so I had to stop at a convenience store and drink coffee. 

“God, all the things I do for you I'm Nayeon.” I whispered to myself begrudgingly as I sip on my hot cup of coffee. I don’t even know why I’m doing this, none of this made sense. Well, I mean, whatever. My whole life doesn’t make sense either so why would I try to make sense of things around me?

I arrived at Nayeon’s place at around 10 am. I mean, it was her grandma’s place but whatever. Just like the last time I visited, the place wasn’t overpopulated. Halmeoni’s house was situated only two hundred steps away from the beach. I would like to wake here and watch the sunrise. That would be a dream. Anyway, as I pulled up I saw her grandmother’s house. I walked to their door and knocked. Not more than ten seconds later, Halmeoni greets me with the biggest hug. 

“Oh my goodness, if it isn't our Jeongie.” She hugs me and I hug her back. “What brings you here?” She asks me.

“Halmeoni, I came here to visit Nayeon. Is she awake now?” I ask her politely. I kind of expected she’s still asleep because that’s what she does, she’s always asleep. 

“Ah, that girl’s been awake since around six in the morning?” Halmeoni corrects me. This makes me feel a little off-guard. “She’s not here if that's your question.” She adds.

“Oh.” was all I could say. 

“Go check the beach, I’m sure she’s there. She hangs out there a lot.” She motions for the beach. I thank her and head out. 

The beach wasn’t far away, but I know she’s hanging out in the secret spot. It’s not that much further but the place sure is secure. Maybe she just wants to be alone, I’d be the same if I was in the same situation. As I walked towards the spot, I just felt this tight feeling inside me. 

I haven’t spoken and seen her in a while. 

What should I say? Should I jump up and down the moment I see her? Should I go and throw sand at her? No, that’s stupid. I just feel so nervous right now that I don’t know what to do. I just wonder if she would feel excited seeing me too. I just hope she’s doing fine, I haven’t heard from her. 

As I walk the beach I can hear the waves crashing, it wasn’t a hot day nor was it a cold day. The weather was perfect. As I approached our spot, I saw her figure. She wasn’t facing me, which made everything more exciting. 

This is it, I haven’t seen this brat in weeks. This is it.

I closed my distance and just stood behind her, forming a silhouette that made her turn around to face me. The moment our eyes met, I knew, I knew I needed to see her. Her eyes became wide and she just jumped from where she was seated and just hugged me. Im Nayeon was all over me, none of us said anything. We just hugged each other and that’s when she pulled away and stared at me. 

I feel as if my heart sank, deep deep down the ocean. Her beautiful eyes sparkled like when the sun hits the sea. She had the biggest smile too and I couldn’t help myself from just smiling. No word escaped my mouth. 

“You’re here.” Her voice broke when she said this, her eyes were welling up. 

“I promised you I’ll be back, right?” I laughed and just held her, I’ve never held her this long before. It just feels so natural, it doesn’t even bother me at all. To hold her, I never thought it would be  this easy. 

“Thank you.” She dives in for another hug and I just knew that visiting her was a good choice. I just soothed her by rubbing my hands circularly on her back, I just sigh. How could I have not visited earlier? 

“Hey, come on. I’ve got lots of things to give you, I already saw Halmeoni too.” I chuckled and that’s when she pulled away. We started walking back to her place, we just walked alongside with each other not really holding hands but I would casually glance at her from time to time. 

I looked stupid in my pants and rubber shoes, I can’t believe I let myself look like a sore thumb in the beach. I should’ve at least worn something else. 

“Halmeoni, Jeongyeon came to visit me.” Nayeon gleefully shouts when she enters the house.

“Oh, Jeongyeon! I have a hard time convincing that girl to stay inside. She’s always out there hanging by the beach all by herself.” Grandma says this as she peeks through the kitchen door, she’s probably preparing lunch. So I walked over to the kitchen and just let Nayeon do her own thing in her room. 

“Is that lunch, Halmeoni?” I gleefully ask her. 

“Yes, I hope you like Kimchi Stew cause that’s what I’m cooking for lunch.” She smiles and I just nod. Then the scent of sauteed onions wafted in the kitchen and I just had to smile. The place was gorgeous, the interior design looked magnificent and honestly I could spend a summer here.

“Halmeoni.” Nayeon softly calls out to her grandmother. I look back and notice that she had changed clothes, hiking clothes. 

“What are you wearing?” I asked her, I was obviously taken aback. Halmeoni just chuckled, and tugged at the hem of my shirt. 

“These days she’s been hiking a lot.” Halmeoni replies. 

Hiking? She’s hiking? She shouldn’t be hiking. Hiking should be the number one activity that Im Nayeon should be avoiding right now. What the hell is this girl even thinking? Does she even care about her life? I just smiled at Halmeoni, I will talk to Nayeon later. As Halmeoni prepared for lunch, we told her that we were going someplace and that we will be back before dinner. She agreed and off we went. 

“Hiking?” I blurted out as soon as I started the car’s engine. I know I sounded a little mean but she needs some good scolding. She just gave me this mocking look, as if she doesn’t want to listen to anything that I had to say. I just stared at her, warning her that I am not joking at all. 

“Wow, I kind of wish you don’t make it sound like hiking is such a bad thing.” She rolls her eyes at me. I just sigh in frustration. This girl is really hard headed, I swear to god. 

“Dude, stop acting like a kid. You know hiking isn’t something that you should be doing.” I tell her seriously. The reason why I am very against hiking is because we both know she’s not from around here which means she doesn’t know the place very much. She should at least be precautious about the things that she’s doing. 

“Well, I was so bored I couldn’t help myself.” Nayeon answers shyly. 

“You know why you’re here, right? It’s to keep you safe. If you’re running around just hiking and , what's the point of keeping you safe?” I angrily tell her, she was just too much. All of this was too much. 

“Stop being so grumpy. It’s your birthday tomorrow.” She whispers. 

I just nod, I was actually taken aback that she remembers. I just look at the road while driving, I don't really know what else to say. I just drive and let the stereo do it’s thing. Not more than twenty minutes later, we arrive at our destination. It is true that Im Nayeon was currently in the countryside but of course, there were shops there too. Just a little over 30 minutes from where her grandmother resides is the Center of their City. It wasn’t as busy and as loud as Seoul but the City center was nice. 

Shops, Cafes, and restaurants were all over the place. It wasn’t that bad, I could definitely live here.  At first I thought that Nayeon was going to live in such a remote area but it turns out that her grandma’s place was just a little secluded. It was almost 11 when we arrived and we both agreed to have lunch. 

“Yah, tell the others they’re not my friends anymore.” She pouts as she sips on her Iced coffee. We had just finished lunch and decided to hang out at a cafe and talk. She looked like a kid, pouting like that. I just had to shake my head and laugh.

“Why? Because I’m the only one visiting?” I chuckled. I saw her nod her head enthusiastically, whipped cream was on the corner of . I couldn’t stop myself from rolling my eyes. I really had to grab a tissue and hand it to her. “You’re acting like you haven’t had good coffee in a while.” I laugh as I motion her to wipe . She suddenly looked sad and she just smiled weakly.

“It’s because I haven’t.” She answered. I just stare at her, feeling sorry for the girl. Wishing that I could at least make things better for her. But I’m no superman, I just do what I can to make her smile and that’s it. 

“Ah, so that’s why you’ve been acting crazy and just going on hikes?” I sarcastically ask her. She turns red. She laughs at my sarcasm. I crossed my arms and let her know that I wasn’t kidding at all and that I was being serious. 

“I’m sorry, okay? I won’t do it again. I promise.” She shrugs and she just continues to drink her coffee. She also ordered a cookie and I just slid the plate over to her, somehow telling her to have the cookie.

“You better be sorry because who the hell wears Yeezys when hiking?” I ask her laughing, she just gave me a distasteful look. I know she’s annoyed with me but she can’t stop me. 

“You’re such a hater, I swear to god you hate me more than you love me.” She blurts out. I just stare at her, she used to say that all the time. I missed it and I am thankful that she’s saying it once again. I smile and just sip on my coffee. 

“Goodness, just stop wearing Yeezys when hiking. You look lost.” I tell her honestly. 

We spent our time together until it was around 6 pm. How did we do it? Honestly, I also do not know. You see, when I spend time with her it’s as if time isn’t even there. You know when I spend time with people I don’t like, I just feel this dread. But when I spend time with people who are dear to me, time just goes by so fast. 

After talking in the cafe, we both just strolled through the park and we also entered some stores just checking some stuff. We laughed, asked how each other is doing, and just anything under the sun really. To see her smile like the way she smiled before everything happened, just made me heart full. To see Im Nayeon cheekily smile again made me the happiest idiot, and the saddest thing about this is I don’t know how to express my happiness around her.

“You look horrible.” I tell her, trying to hide a smile. She just stares at me and gives me this begrudging look as if she hates me. 

“I know you find me funny, Yoo. Just say it. It’s not too hard.” She smiles at me as we walk through the bookshelves in the local bookstore. I smile, trying not to show her that she’s indeed right. 

“Leave me alone, Im. I traveled all the way here so be grateful.” I tell her jokingly and she just sticks her tongue out. I just gave her a blank stare, I just hate how I can’t react properly. But whatever, it doesn’t matter. 

“You came to see me all by yourself, don’t try to pin that on me, Yoo.” She winked at me and then she continued to browse for books she could buy. I just stay quiet, because she’s right. I came here because I wanted to. 

After hanging out in the library, we decided to drive home. When we arrived home, Halmeoni greeted us both. It was little past 6pm so there really wasn’t much to do. Nayeon’s grandma already had dinner and told us that she left food for us and if we ever are hungry, we can just have some since the leftovers are in the kitchen. Nayeon and I just decided to hang out on the beach, her grandma’s house can be seen since it was well lit plus it was like less than two hundred steps away.

“I bought these when I stopped at a convenience store this morning.” I had her a bag full of assorted chocolates. She stared at the items with a big smile on her face. I just look over the sea, the tides are coming in now and the air has become colder but it’s fine since Halmeoni helped us make a small campfire. I lean a little close to the fire to warm my hands. 

“You didn’t have to.” She sounded a little sorry when she said this. 

“Don’t assume that I stopped at a convenience store just to buy you chocolates.” I answered her immediately. 

“You had to buy other stuff too, right?” She asked me correctly as she opened a packet of Almond covered chocolates. I nod at her. 

“Yeah, I had to buy coffee. Because if I didn’t, I would have probably crashed or something.” I answer her honestly, I just stare at her. I reach my hand out to ask for some chocolate. She then gave me a piece and she smiled like a kid. Great. 

“You could’ve contacted me right before you decided to visit me.” She says this as if she was dissatisfied. 

“I can visit whenever I want.” I answer her back stubbornly. 

“It’s your birthday in a few minutes. Why visit today?” She asked me, she sounded serious. I just shrug at her, not really sure how to answer her question. 

“I’m free today that’s why. What’s up with all these questions? Damn.” I might have seemed annoyed because Nayeon gave me this look, as if she wasn’t pleased with my answer. 

“Aren’t you going to stay over?” She asked me. I just look at her because I know that’s not possible. “It’s almost midnight, Yoo Jeongyeon. Are you seriously going to drive home tonight?” She asked me. I can hear disbelief in her voice. 

“Yeah, that’s how this works. I didn’t bring anything extra for tonight.” I answer her honestly. She just nodded, it seemed like she was a little disappointed but she just shrugged it off. 

“Thank you for visiting me today though.” She smiled weakly. 

“You’re welcome. Can I visit for another time?” I ask her. 

“Sure, that sounds great!” Nayeon exclaimed, she seemed happy and I just couldn’t help but smile too. 

“Maybe I could bring the others too.” I add, her face lit up and that’s when she smiled so widely. “You’d like that, huh?” I asked her.

“Yes.” She smiled. “I’m happy. Thank you for today.” She added. Her smile, to call it beautiful is an understatement. 

“That’s good, that is what’s important.” I just replied, trying to best not to look at her directly. 

“I’m happy that even just for a day, it felt like things are okay. It felt like we’re friends again.” She smiled at me wistfully. 

“We were never enemies.” I reply jokingly. Because it’s true, I never remembered a time that we ever became enemies. What is going on inside her head?

“But we're also never the same.” She replied, she didn’t sound hurt. She sounded plain, as if she’s just stating a fact. She sounded calm and just really laid back. I stared at her, I wanted to say more. Thoughts flood my head but just like how the story goes, I can’t really express myself. 

In all honesty, I want Im Nayeon to come back home. 

“Something happened.” I answered her. She just stared at me. The little campfire was in between us and she was sitting across me. What if she already has come to terms with the things that I have told her weeks ago?

“Many things happened, Indeed.” She smiled weakly. 

“Do you think you’ll be back soon?” I asked her, that was the question which always bothered me. The question has lingered inside my head for quite some time now. She stared at me and gave me this look. She seemed unsure as well.

“I’ll see.” She replies solemnly.

“See on what?” I asked her. I know I sound very selfish and I know I should not have asked her that question. 

“I don’t know. Why are you asking me this anyway?” She asks me.

“Cause  I’m curious?” I answered her, though I know it was a complete lie. I waited for her to ask me more questions but she just kept quiet. Im Nayeon isn’t usually like this, I was ready for her to ask me another question but I got nothing. “So, I hope you’re having a good time here.” I try to prolong our conversation.

“Well, Halmeoni has been a very nice company. But, it’s just lonely out here.” She replied and it broke my heart. A girl her age deserves to go around and have fun. She doesn’t deserve to be relocated to another area just because of some jerk. 

“I can come visit every chance I get.” I assure her. 

“Thank you.” She smiled at me. 

We were silent for a while after that, we just stared at the moon and sea. Words aren't spoken but her presence was enough. She made me feel calm and good inside, I just wish she’d come back to Seoul. We sat quietly, enjoying the heat the mini campfire provided for us. The sounds of the waves crashing on the shore made me feel relieved, I wish she felt relieved too. But I could only wish, that is all that I can do for now.

“Hey, congratulations. You just turned 23, Yoo. Happy birthday.” She smiled as she showed me her phone screen. It just turned exactly twelve midnight. I just smiled, I knew she would greet me. I knew. That’s why I came all the way here, I want her to be the first one to greet me. That was my wish.

“Well, congratulations to me then!” I exclaimed as I stood up and cleaned off the excess sand on my pants. “I have to drive home now.” I smile at her.

“What? Are you serious?” She sounded annoyed but I just smiled at her. I reached my hand out to her and motioned her to stand up. 

“Come on, walk me to the car.” I tell her. I can hear her whining as we walked to the car, it wasn’t that far away. The walk felt heavy, as if my legs wanted me to stay with her. But I have to go, I promised Jihyo that I’ll be back. 

“You know you can just sleep over, right? You can borrow my clothes.” She offers me. I just smiled at her, I shook my head as we reached the car. I opened the door and just stood there, I wanted to get a good look at her before I left for Seoul. 

“Grandma’s asleep already.” She stared at her house, I looked back and stared too. I nodded, as I sign that I know. 

“Yeah, I guess she is.” I reply, trying to fill in the silence. She just stared and I felt this uneasy feeling inside me, my heart thumping and I feel as if I’ve grown a new heart inside my throat. “Yah, Im Nayeon.” I try to call her attention.

“Yeah?” She replied.

“Try to think of the reason why I came all the way here.” I smiled at her.

“At this point, I don’t want to think of any reason besides you’re just being nice.” She replies.

“Shallow girl.” I reply and proceed to cup both her cheeks. She just stared, like a kid. She didn’t say anything. That’s when I leaned in and planted a kiss on her lips. Her soft lips, I have always thought about it ever since that night at the bar. She didn’t resist, none of us did. We both knew that this is what we want. The moment I broke from the kiss, I see her just staring at me. She seemed dumbfounded. A little dazed and confused, maybe. 

“Well, I have to go now. See you soon.” I smiled, pat her head, and proceeded to get in my car.

No words came out of but I knew what that meant. At Least now she knows how I feel about her. I am happy that Im Nayeon knows that I have reconciled with my feelings. That night, I drove my way back to Seoul as someone who isn’t a coward.