SON CHAEYOUNG'S POINT OF VIEW

By New Year, everyone had gone home to their hometown. It was Jihyo unnie who was the first to go home. Of course, that doesn't mean she went home and met the family. Girlie probably met up with Daniel and hung out someplace. What happened next isn't really any of our business. Next was Tzuyu, that was expected because she's the one who lived furthest away from us. I actually helped her pack her things and I also escorted her to the airport. After that, everyone just sort of started disappearing on their own. I'd wake up to find the dormitory becoming increasingly empty. 

And then on the day before New year, it was just me. That was when I decided to pack my things and go home. Preparing was quick especially when you're alone. You won't have a problem with being too noisy or walking in on someone , or just being a total in general. I guess that is one of the nice benefits of living alone. But of course, I'd still want to live with these idiots no matter what. I'd still pick these chaotic idiots over anything. 

As I got ready and packed my things, I noticed I was mistaken about being alone. So I peaked outside of my room, but nothing was there. Of course, I had to have my guards up and check all the rooms. I quickly checked the room beside mine and nothing was there, when I was about to check the next room, I hear the toilet flush. I instantly froze, I might have really been mistaken about being alone. 

"Is anyone there?" I shout to the comfort room's direction. Not more than a few seconds later a person emerges from inside the bathroom. 

"You're going home now?" Mina asked me, she was fresh from a bath and water was dripping from her hair. She probably didn't expect anyone to be here too. 

"Yeah." I huffed a big sigh of relief, I didn't even notice that I was already staring at her intently. "How come you're still here? I thought you're---"

"Yeah, I know." She answered me immediately, avoiding eye contact. She then walked towards her room which I assume where she's going to change her clothes in. 

"Is your flight tonight, by any chance?" I ask her, I found myself wanting to continue our conversation. I then peaked from her door frame and see that she's already put on a bathrobe and is facing the mirror. 

"Nope." She replies immediately. "My family is busy during the holidays. There is no point in going home if I don't get to see them." She huffs. This time, I was already at her door frame, standing and just staring at her. 

"I see." I reply. 

"You don't have to give me that look, you know." She chuckles as she puts on some moisturizer on her face. I was like a kid staring at her mother getting ready for work. 

"What look? I'm just staring at you." I reply immediately, it was as if I was getting defensive almost. 

"Like you pity me." She replies. She then stared at me and smiled, it was the first time she's smiled at me in a while. "I'll be fine, New years isn't a big deal to me." She then grabs the comb and started combing through her hair. 

Even though how much I do my best to resent her, something in me just can't do it. Sometimes I even think it's unhealthy. But whenever I see her, softness just takes over me. I just feel all warm and soft inside when it comes to her. Maybe I feel this way because I know what happened between us was a big misunderstanding. I just quietly stared at her and realized how likable she is. It doesn't even take much to like her. Even with a simple smile, I feel like I'd melt into a puddle. 

"Hey." I try to get her attention. She immediately stared at me. The moment our eyes meet I knew I really had to do something about us. I need to. I miss her so much and I just feel like I'm dead inside. 

"What?" She asked and this time she was already done combing her hair. 

"Spend New Years with me and my family." I tell her. She stared at me for a while, she's probably wondering if I was joking. "I mean, they like you. Mom would be disappointed if she ever knew I had let you spend New years alone." I add, trying to not make my offer sound so serious. She had this tiny smile on . 

"So will you? Jeonghoon would absolutely love to play video games with you." I try to make her say yes. 

"Yeah. I'd love to spend time with you and your family." She smiled at me, a big bright smile and I swear for the first in a while, I couldn't hide my smile too. 

During the trip to my place, we both were quiet but it was a good type of quiet. I want to be honest and say that I never expected her to agree and join me. Happiness consumed me the moment she said yes and I honestly do not know if this is something good. I'm just too scared of having my heart broken again. 

"Jesus, you guys are loaded." Mina huffed the moment I led her to where we live. 

"Says the girl who paid for my plane tickets." I mocked her, trying my best to hide my smile. 

"I wanted you there anyway, that's why." She replied nonchalantly, looking at our gate. I paused, of course, I wanted to ask her what she meant by that but I'd rather not. I just nodded my head and smiled. 

"Hey." I call her attention before actually ringing on our doorbell. 

"What?" She casually replies. 

"Don't get my mother's hopes up." I tell her directly. At first, she had this confused look on her face but then it disappeared, she probably understood what I meant. "She likes you, she does. She'll probably even ask you to visit often." I add. "I don't want my family to be attached to you. Maybe you already know that I've dated Dahyun, right?" I ask her. 

"Yeah." She replies dryly, we were quiet for some time. It was awkward, she was looking down and tapping her shoes. 

"Yeah, we dated for two years but I never brought her here. You're the first person I've ever brought here so my mother might misunderstand things between us." I tell her honestly. 

"And that is?" She asks me. 

"Just tell her we're friends." I reply abruptly. I never thought my own words would hurt me like this, but of course, I kept a straight face when I said that. "I mean, that's the truth anyway." I add, I was looking at her like I was very bored. 

"Wow, I never thought you were the moody type." She smirks, she then points her finger to the doorbell. This made me immediately press on it, I see her chuckle so I just stare at her. I didn't want the intercom catching us arguing. "It suits you. I like it." She smiles a gummy smile, because of this my cheeks felt very hot and I couldn't help but just look down. 

"Oh! It's Chaeyoung noona! Mom, she's with Mina noona!"  It sounded like Jeonghoon, he's probably the one who's in the intercom. Seconds later, our gate opened and spit my mother and brother out!

"Mina-sshi!" Exclaims my mother as she opened her arms out, probably wanting Mina to give her a hug. Of course, Mina hugged her. I just smiled and shook my head. Looking at them bonding like that made me realize how natural all of this looked. How come Mina fit so well in our family? It's like she's the adopted daughter my mother never had.

"Yah. You didn't even open the gate for me when I came home for Chuseok." I complain and I just see Mina look back at me and she shakes her head. 

"Stop complaining, noona. You need to get inside and help mom prepare for Dinner." Says Jeonghoon, he was playing on his Nintendo switch. I was on the verge of hitting him when all of a sudden Mom puts her arm around me as if telling me not to mind my brother. "Noona, want to play some video games with me?" He asks casually. Mina gave me and my mother this look as if asking for permission. 

"Stop bugging Mina or else." I try to warn my younger brother but he just gave me this look of annoyance. That was when I feel Mina put her palm on my back as if telling me that she's got this. 

"Sure, Hoon. Noona will play with you." She smiles. 

"I'm glad that you're home." Whispers mom, she was cutting some vegetables and I was there with her. I was useless though so I just propped my elbow on the table and rested my chin on my palm. I was just there to observe her. 

"Didn't I promise you that I'll be home for New Years?" I chuckle, I was just there sitting on a chair. My back completely turned away from Jeonghoon and Mina playing video games. Dad was also there with them, he was on his phone.

"You did promise but you could've come sooner." She complained. 

"Well, Mina would not have been here if I came home earlier." I chuckle and mom just gave me this look, like a smile. 

"She's a nice girl." Mom briefly stared at the Mina and Jeonghoon playing. 

"She is." I slightly turn my head to their direction and stared at them for a while. It was timing because then and there the game just ended. Mina then turned her back to us and noticed that I was staring. She then stood up, folded her sleeves up, and walked towards us. 

"Anything I can do?" She smiled at my mom and I knew, my mother will forever be asking about her during the holidays.

"Well, for starters you can cut these for me." Says my mother, gesturing to the uncut vegetables. Mina smiled and gestured for my mom to hand her the knife and chopping board. Mina made it look easy. I couldn't believe it but I've never seen her cook in the Kitchen before. "You're actually very good at this. You should teach my daughter sometime." Laughs my mom and Mina smiles shyly at her, I see her briefly glance at me and then back to my mother again. I just roll my eyes at them and shrug, admitting defeat. 

The audacity. 

"Gee thanks, mom. That's a good way to make your daughter look useful." I roll my eyes at my mom and this made both of them laugh even more. I'm starting to think that they're ganging up on me. 

"She's a nice kid, Mrs. Son. She's a joy to have around the dorm." Says Mina, she was still chopping. She didn't look up nor pause when she said this, it seemed very natural when those words came out of . I wanted to say something but I couldn't. She's doing it again. She's making my mom like her even more. 

"That's good to hear, Mina. I hope you're taking good care of her when she's away from us." Smiles mom as she cleans her hand. She calls my father and brother's attention. "You two come with me, we need to buy things for tonight." She adds. 

"What things?" I ask her. I was curious of course, she might be trying to pull a trick here. 

"Well, food and stuff." She answers, she then stared at Mina briefly. "Anyway, I trust you guys can help each other? We won't take long." 

I wanted to question her why she didn't buy these 'materials' in advance but of course, I didn't really want to bother. Besides, she said it won't take long so why should I be fussy?

Not long after that, the three of them left and it was only the two of us. It didn't feel awkward nor empty since I have been accustomed to living with her in the dorm. Of course, I helped her with some things but she insisted on doing the majority of the chopping. I didn't care though since I'm not much of a vegetable chopper anyway. 

"You're doing it again." I whisper. I was hesitant at first to tell her this. As much as possible I didn't want to ruin New Years for us. 

"What?" She asked, she was done wiping the counter because we were already done with our task. 

"You know, making my family like you." I tell her. 

"What do you expect me to do?" She asked me, she had this little smile on her lips when she said this. "Look, I can't help it if I'm that likable." She smiled at me. 

"You're conceited." I chuckle. "Look, it's not going to be my fault if she asks for your number and if she asks you to visit often." I shake my head. 

"That's the point." She stared at me. 

"What?" I replied immediately. 

"Nothing." She had this look on her face when she said this. She wasn't staring at me intently, it was more of like she's staring at me casually and that she knows things will go according to her plan. 

Sometimes I just don't know how to talk to her, it seemed like she wanted to talk more but I think she also felt the same way towards me. Sometimes I wish I was just really good at interacting with her, I just wish I don't even have to try. But most of the time I'd just fall short and just become shy, so what's the point? 

"Hey, do you want to video call the girls?" She asked me. First of all, why would we do that when the others have no clue that I'm spending New Years' eve with Mina. 

"Hold od." I chuckle. "Stop ing with me Mina." I wave my hand dismissively at her, she had this confused look on her face. 

"I'm not ing with you, Chaeng." She sounds serious, she even looks confused. 

"Then how are we supposed to explain that you're here?" I ask her. she stared at me first. 

"Dummy." She chuckled. "Honestly, you think too much sometimes." She shakes her head.

It didn't really take long for everyone to join the video call. Mina was right though, none of the girls were really curious as to why she's with me. Everyone was just talking on top of one another and all I could say is I love the chaos. The whole time during the video call, Mina and I were seated together and if I were to be honest, I felt tense to be seated next to her. I didn't even care if the other girls would question me as to why Mina is celebrating New Year with me. 

Mina didn't seem to mind though. She seemed calm about everything. There were times when I'd take quick glances at her and I'd catch her smiling at the screen. It's times like this that I wish I could've done something to fix whatever happened between us. 

After a few minutes of conversing with the girls, one by one each of them started saying their goodbyes and logged off until it was only Sana, Mina, and I left on the chat. It was nice though, to talk to them during the holidays. It was refreshing. 

"Oi, how's everything other there?" Mina asks the remaining person, Sana. Sana stared and smiled at first, she had this unusual glow about her. 

"Everything's fine, honestly. As usual, it's cold." Says Sana sarcastically. 

"Ah, Sana unnie." I call her attention. 

"Yes, Chaeyoung-ah?" She acknowledged me.

"Belated happy birthday, unnie. I'm sorry my forgot to greet you." I smiled at her, hoping that she'd let me off. 

"Ohhh, I thought you hated me that's why I didn't receive a greeting from you." She jokingly replies. 

"Jeez, I would never!" I laugh.

"Anyway, thanks." She smiles. "You know, I didn't ask this when the others were still here. But I can't just let this off, I'm quite curious. You know?'' She had this grin on her face that somehow made me feel a little nervous. 

"Eh? What is it?" Asks Mina casually.

"How come you guys are spending New Years' together?" She asked this nonchalantly. I almost choked when she asked this but then I feel Mina's hand slide on my lap. As if telling me to be calm and let her handle the situation. 

"I mean, why didn't you just book a flight home?" Asked Sana, this time she had this slight smirk on her lips. 

"You know how difficult it is to book a flight during peak season, Sana." She was very calm when she said this. "Plus Chaeyoung invited me over, so why not?" She chuckled and then both of them proceeded to talk in Nihonggo. I just stood there like a confused baby goat but it was fine, I didn't mind. Suddenly, our intercom rang and I knew it was my parents. So of course, I told them I had to pick it up but Sana said it was fine and that she had to log off anyway. 

"Are you sure?" I asked her. 

"Yeah." She smiled. 

"Well, happy new year unnie." I smiled at her. 

"Happy new year, Sana." Mina followed. 

"Before I actually log off, I want you guys to know it takes one to know one." She winked at us. "Happy new year!" She chuckled and then logged off immediately before we were able to defend ourselves. 

After the video call with Sana unnie, my family came home. Of course, as promised, they brought all the food.

It made me wonder why mom had left us both alone during the whole time. Anyway, the family has decided to have dinner earlier and just do whatever we wanted after that. Basically, it was a solemn time. I remember whenever we do celebrate New Year, we would only come and celebrate when the clock would strike to twelve midnight. 

Needless to say, there was a lot of talking that happened. Mom and Dad kept asking about the rest of the people that we live with. We told them stories about our roommates and basically introduced my parents to our friends without my parents actually meeting the girls. But it was all good, it was fun. Mina even showed my parents photos of our friends. It was wholesome through and through. I could even say my parents were pleased because I don't usually tell them stories about people that I hang out with. 

When the clock struck twelve, everyone enjoyed that minute like it was the best thing. Then after that, my mom had this sinking realization. 

"Dad." She calls out to my dad and to this my father stared at her wondering what she could be thinking this time. 

"Yeah?" Dad replied, he seemed done with the celebration. I could tell he's going to sleep soon. 

"I just turned a year older." She sounded horrified when she said this. "I'm old." She had this worried look plastered on her face. 

"Honey, everyone in here turned a year older." He chuckled, pulling my mother closer to him. "And you don't look a day over thirty-five." He smiled and patted the top of my mother's head. This made me smile and for some reason, I quickly turned my gaze to Mina only to discover she's already looking at me. We immediately looked away, I was embarrassed, to say the least. 

"Mom, I have to do something." Jeonghoon excuses himself and proceeds to his room. He's probably going to call his girlfriend or something. 

"Is he going to facetime his girlfriend?" I asked my parents.

"He has a girlfriend?" Asks Mina, she seemed shocked. 

"I know right? I can't believe it either." I laugh with Mina. 

"I don't really know what's going on with that Kid." Says Dad, he didn't seem worried. He then stared at Mom. "You tired?" 

"A little." Mom replies but she then realized she had to clean the table. "Is it okay if you girls help each other?" She asked. She seemed tired.  

"Don't worry about it, Mrs. Son. Chaeyoung and I will handle it." Mina smiled and stared at me. Of course, I just nod at my parents. 

I am glad that I am able to welcome the new year peacefully, the last few months have definitely been very stressful. People had to go and people had to get hurt both emotionally and physically. I wasn't ready for the things I have experienced but I am thankful that I was able to survive it. I am thankful that Minwoo is finally behind bars and that he's no longer going to hurt us. 

After cleaning up, Mina and I got ready to sleep. Of course, we had to argue about where she was supposed to sleep. It won't work if we didn't banter. 

"What are you talking about? I'm telling you no." I sternly tell her, I was trying to keep my bedroom door open. She was already in her pjs, she's just there standing. 

"Look, it's not a big deal. I can do it." She replies, she won't go down without a fight. 

"No, don't make me feel bad." I motion for her to get into my room. "Just get in already, stop being like a child." my voice got deep when I said this. She then hesitantly walked inside, it was like she was dragging her feet. 

"I told you I can just sleep on the couch." She mumbles.

"And I'm telling you no." I say as I closed the door behind me. "What would your mother say if she knew I let you sleep on the couch? Your family even made a hotel reservation for me." I tell her, she did this thing with her face which made me think she was mocking me. 

"Fine, since you're insistent." She then proceeded to walk towards my closet where she found an extra sleeping bag. "Huh,  an extra sleeping bag." She sounds amused when she said this. She then grabbed it and spread it on my bedroom floor. I didn't oppose to what she was doing though, we can't sleep in one bed. 

"What about it?" I ask her, I plopped on my bed. I then noticed she didn't have anything else so I handed her a pillow and a blanket. 

"You must've brought a lot of girls here." She jokingly said and I just had to stare at her for a while. 

"That's a self-warming sleeping bag, just so you know." I try to completely change the topic but instead she just mockingly nods her head. "What? I've already told you. You're the first person to meet my family and we're not even a thing." I completely lose my cool. 

"Jeez, you can be harsh sometimes." She stared at me like I was the annoying one. "Anyway, you just turned a year older. Congratulations." She reverted to her formal self. 

"Thank you." I tell her, still sitting down at this point. I didn't want to admit it but I wanted to stare at her for a little bit more. 

"Did you and Dahyun really date before?" She asked out of nowhere, when she asked this, it seemed like it is something that she's been thinking of for some time.

"Yeah." I tell her. "Why are you suddenly so curious?" I ask her.

"So it's really true that you guys dated? For how long and why'd you guys broken up" I just stare at her, I've never seen her this nosy before.

"Am I in an interrogation? What's up with all the questions?" I ask her back. 

"Well, there's nothing much to talk about." She shrugs, she was seated. 

"We dated for two years." I start, then I hear her chuckle a bit. "What?" I ask her.

"Nothing." She shrugs. "Please go on." She adds.

"I broke up with her because she was going to University," I tell Mina. "It was more of like puppy love. It wasn't that serious." I chuckle, reminiscing old times.

"So why didn't you guys say a word about it?" She asked.

"Why are you so curious?" I chuckle, staring at her this time. "You've never been this nosy when we had a thing. Why are you being nosy now that there's nothing between us?" I jokingly tell her. She stared at me for a while not really saying anything and then she just lay on the sleeping bag. 

"Anyway, thanks for welcoming 2020 with me." I softly tell her, I was just seated on my bed. 

"Thanks for introducing me to your family. They're lovely." She was staring at the ceiling when she said this. 

"I'm sure they thought you were lovely too. I mean, not just physically." I tell her. 

After that, we became silent. No words were exchanged but none of us fell asleep too. I was just there, seated in the same position. I shamelessly stared at her while she stared blankly at the ceiling. We remained like that for quite some time. I knew she noticed I was staring. It made me wonder why she's not saying anything. Is she waiting for me to make the first move? 

"Hey." I finally crack and call her attention. 

"Yeah?" She answered me immediately. Her eyes were sleepy.

"I've read your letter." I start, I feel this big lump on my throat when I said this. 

"That's good, I guess?" She replied. 

"When you said if you were to turn back the time you'd do things differently, what did you mean by that?" I ask. She nodded and stared at me for a while. 

"I would've been more upfront to you. I would've done everything in my power to not hurt you like that." She replies, she sounded calm and careful when she said that.

The days after our Christmas party was an absolute blur. It was boring and because of that, I had lots of time for myself. This meant that I had a lot of time to think of stuff and figure out some things. As I look at her now, I don't feel any hatred. All of the pain is gone and I just want her to be in my arms. I invited her because I wanted to make things right between us.

"But you don't have to turn back time." I get off of my bed and sit beside her. "That is not how it works." I tell her. 

"I know." She replies, she's refusing to look at me by stubbornly staring at the ceiling.

"We have to move forward and eventually put everything in the past." I add. I was sitting beside her and staring at her while talking. She was still lying down, she didn't look at me though. She refuses to do so. 

"If you're going to break my heart tonight, do it immediately. I hate it when you say so many words and not get straight to the point." She huffed. 

"Will you stop being such a baby and face me?" I know I wasn't asking nicely but she had to hear it. She amazingly sat up and stared at me, she looks kind of hurt. Her eyes can't lie and I just had to stare at her. 

"Dude, I'm trying to sleep." She replies. I had to roll my eyes at her reply. 

Ever since we got home, I was able to unpack some of my things. One of those things is the gift that she has given me during Christmas. I knew what she meant by giving me my sketch back and I hated it. I reached from below my bed to recover the framed sketch that I made for her months ago when we were still strangers.

"Look, I'm giving this back to you." I hand her the sketch and when she received it, she had this confused look on her face. "In your letter, you told me you don't want anything that reminded you about me, Son Chaeyoung. But that isn't exactly what I want." I tell her. 

"But why?" She was more confused now. 

"I want you to look at this sketch and smile. I want you to place that back in your room." I tell her. She was still so quiet, she just stared at me with her lovely eyes. "I want to start over again, Mina. Can we just forget everything that has happened and start over again?" It seemed like I was the one begging but I didn't really care anymore.

"I realized how much happiness you add to my life and I want that. I want you, all your flaws included." I tell her, I was smiling the whole time. I didn't even notice my hand was already holding hers. 

Mina was just staring at me, her gaze was soft and it seemed like she's about to cry. I just stare at her while holding her hand. 

"We've already welcomed 2020 together. That on its own speaks volumes about what we have. We always get tangled with each other without meaning to. Don't you think that's a sign?" I chuckle because it's true. We always end up together in strange places. It was as if the world was telling us to talk through things.

"Can we put everything that has happened between us behind in 2019? Come back to me." I tell her the truth. "I missed you." my voice cracked when I said this. She was smiling and that's when she pulled me to a hug. The moment she hugged me, a good amount of weight has been lifted off of me. I missed her, I really did. It felt so good to tell her all of this. 

"Oh god. I missed you." She whispered, her palms soothing my back and I just fell in her arms effortlessly. It was as if I fit there. We hugged each other for some time, it was like we were trying to make up for all the time we've lost. We were there, hugging each other without saying anything. 

"Can you grant me one wish?" I ask her, I pulled away from her and see her nod. "Can I kiss you?" I ask her, I was already shameless at this point. 

"Yes." She smiled. It wasn't difficult, it felt natural when I placed my hand on her nape and pulled her close to me. Everything felt natural, leaning in and placing my lips on hers was the best thing that happened to me this New Year. When I pulled away, she smiled back and pulled me close to her too. She kissed once more, this time she took the lead and I swear I could just melt in her arms. With her, everything just feels right and easy.