I decided to be absent from school without informing anybody even my homeroom teacher. Stella kept making phone call to me but I didn’t answer it. She kept sending message but I didn’t reply either. I still have no enough bravery to face with her after knowing she already has feeling on me. Maybe escaping is the best way for me right now. Yet the problem is I miss her. I miss her so much even much more now.

One evening, Minki came back from school and went to knock on my door, telling Stella has come to meet me at home. I refused to come out to meet her and slammed the door. Minki went to tell her accordingly. Stella didn’t give up just yet; she came to knock on my door by herself.

“I don’t know what happened to you exactly but I’m worried about you. Why are you ignoring me?” She was speaking outside the closed door. “If it’s because what I’ve done to you that night, then I’m sorry. If you dislike it, I won’t do it again. I was just…” she hasn’t finished her words yet, I opened the door and stood right in front of her with furious facial expression.

“Minhyun…”

“Your tutor to me already finished. What do you still have to do with me?” I tried to be mean, talking to her. She seemed be shocked to see how mean I am, the side that she has never seen from me.

“I… I‘m just worried about you. You have been absent for 3 days and didn’t answer my phone call… I’m worried if you have any problem.” She was stuttering with tears, struggling to speak up.

“It’s my problem. You don’t have to care. Since your tutoring to me is already finished then we don’t have to meet if not necessary. I’ll go back to class tomorrow. You can leave now, Class President.” I finished my words then slammed the door before I would drop my tears in front of her. I didn’t know how she felt. I was so worried about her but I tried to control myself… What I’m careful the most in my life is not to hurt her but now I’m hurting her. I hate this. I hate myself so much….. Right, I have to make her hate me so it’ll be easy for her to move on from me after my disappearance.

-----///-----

NEXT DAY

I went back to school but I tried to ignore everything and everyone’s greeting. I put on my earphone and just looking through the opened window. When teachers came to teach, I took off my earphone and studied but when it came to break time, I put on earphone back and ignored everyone’s presence again. All classmates keep gossiping about me like why I suddenly act like this… Some even said I’m ill-tempered and some already decided to stop being friends with me. I tried not to care.

I have been doing like this since then. Sometimes I skip class and go to sleep on green grass at playground. Nobody dares to talk with me except Minki. Stella dares not to come to me too after that day she went to meet me at home. All of these didn’t happen in the real past. I’m changing many things now. The original past where everyone loved to be friend with Minhyun has now changed. Now everyone hates and nobody wants to come near Minhyun…..

-----///-----

One evening, I skipped class for full day. I went to sleep at playground alone. It was raining so hard in the evening. Luckily I brought my umbrella with me. I held it and was leaving the playground. I walked back to the class to take my bag. When I arrived at class, Stella was there. We felt awkward to see each other without anybody else around for the first in a while. I tried to ignore her. I went to grab my bag and was about to leave.

“Minhyun, we’ve got some homework for this weekend. You have been absent a lot lately so I have written some lesson notes for you. Maybe it can help you to catch up with our lessons. I also copied the homework for you. Here you go!” she hesitated, looked like she is scared of me or something but she was brave to face with me. I received the homework and notes from her…

She hasn’t left school yet just to wait to give these to me?..... I thought in my mind alone.

“Thanks!” I coldly said then left.

She was walking behind me as we were heading to leave school the same. I tried to ignore her presence but in my heart I really wanted to run and embrace her tightly. I can’t believe that now even the past turned to be this painful to me… What kind of life is this?.....

When we almost left the roof, I put on my umbrella and left. After I walked a few meters, I realized Stella isn’t coming behind anymore. I turned back to look and I realized she didn’t have umbrella with her. She stood still under the roof, looking up at the downpour. I walked back to her. I grabbed her hand to hold my umbrella then I quickly le