Asan Medical Center 

Songpa-gu, Seoul, South Korea

November 15

𝐇𝐞𝐫

Hearing voices near me, opening my eyes and saw the white walls around me. "Where am I, Steph?" I asked her. "We are in a hospital, Tae. You suddenly fainted on me. I got so worried and brought you here." she sat beside my bed. "I'm fine, it's just my Gastritis acting up." I motioned to stand up. "No, Tae, the doctors said that they would run some more tests as they found something unusual to you, but I can't wait for it because I have schedules to attend to but I called manager unnie already and can you update me later, okay?" she kissed my head and waved goodbye. While waiting for the doctor to come, I sat up and play with my hands. Thinking about what could be wrong with my body. Bursting my thoughts, the doctor came in, holding seemingly the test results. 

"Good afternoon, Ms. Kim." the doctor bowed and I bowed at her also. "Is there something wrong with me?" I nervously asked. "Uhm, no Ms. Kim, there's nothing wrong with you. But the result in your blood tests showed that your hormone levels or HCG is high and your level is higher on the average." I squinted my eyes. "So, I could be pregnant?" I ask. "Yes Ms. Kim, I would like to do an ultrasound to confirm all of our speculations." she directed me out of my room. Fidgeting my hands, thinking that any moment could change everything again, rapidly. 

I lay down on a bed and the doctor applied gel on my stomach. She scanned the monitor closely. ?I gulped waiting for her analysis. "Uhm, as you can see Ms. Kim. there's an embryo here." she pointed in the screen "And Uhm, there's another one. Congratulations, Ms. Kim, you're having twins!! That explains why your tummy is showing a little bump already but in most cases of twins you can't start showing a bump when you're just a few weeks pregnant." she smiled and wiped off the gel on my stomach and gave me a copy of the sonogram. I can't seem to digest what's happening so I zoned out and the doctor said she would give me time to let everything sink in me. 

Holding my tummy trying to feel my babies. It's very impossible for me to get multiple pregnancies since it doesn't run in my family but I can't ask for more. I'm very happy but at the same time, scared of what would happen to me and my babies. The doctor came in again. "Can I ask that, can you not let anyone know of my situation. I can't let my babies be known to the public for now." I smiled. I go back to my room and gather my things and wait for manager unnie. 

As I go back home, I ate everything that Steph tried to give me a while ago. "Mama's sorry my babies. From now on, mama will take care of herself for you, my babies." I smiled as I rub my tummy, thinking what shall I do to hide my pregnancy from the world and especially from their father.

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YG Building

Hannam-dong, Yongsan-gu, Seoul, South Korea

November 20, 2018

I've been staying here in my studio these days. I want to make myself busy and try to improve myself for my Tae, so that when it's the right time for us I can be the man that she deserves. I know that it will be hard but I'll do anything for her. Even now, not having her by my side makes it harder for me but I know I deserve this. 

"Ji, are you busy? can I have a little of your time?" Dara noona asks. I nod my head a little bit, I haven't talked to her since that night happened. "Ji, I'm really sorry for what happened between you and Tae. I really can't stop myself tha