Gisan-ri, Ildong-myeon, Pocheon-si, Gyeonggi-do, South Korea

February 25 

𝐇𝐢𝐬

After I ended the call, I immediately call for Tae outside the comfort room but no one is answering back. Thinking that she probably went back to the dining area, I make my way towards there since I have to go back to Seoul since something happened to Jinwoo, Dara noona just informed me. 

"Noona, did you see, Taeng?" I asked eomma while looking around us. She looked at me confusedly and said, "She just left, Ji. I think it hasn't been ten minutes yet since she left." 

"What? Why didn't she tell me?" I asked, dumbfounded about what's happening right now. "Yah, she told us that she informed you that she has to go since there is something that she has to do with her company urgently and her friend is in the area also she said that you didn't have to take her back home and she'll just go back with her friend. You two are making me dizzy, I don't know which one of you is saying the truth." Dami noona exclaimed. 

"I don't know what's happening right now, noona. I just answered some call and when I came back here she's gone." I explained. "Hmm, you know Ji that Tae wouldn't do such thing, to leave abruptly without any reason at all, unless something happened when she's in the comfort room." Dami noona stated. 

I tried hard but to think but nothing came to my mind that I did something wrong that would cause her to leave suddenly, unless if she....

overheard my phone conversation with Dara noona. 

But I didn't say anything suspicious to Dara noona during our call we were just talking about Jinwoo, who is the reason that I also have to rush back to Seoul. 

Kim Taeyeon, you really make my head hurt.

𝐇𝐞𝐫 

I continue to shed tears silently, letting my heart contents out. When I heard my song playing on the radio.

*𝙏𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙇𝙖𝙥𝙨𝙚 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜

Coincidence, isn't it?

𝙄𝙩’𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙢𝙚, 𝘽𝙞𝙧𝙩𝙝𝙙𝙖𝙮
𝘽𝙞𝙧𝙩𝙝𝙙𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙡 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨
𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙙𝙚𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙗𝙞𝙩 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚
𝙊𝙛 𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙙𝙪𝙡𝙩, 𝙄 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠
𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡, 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙮 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙
𝙏𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙪𝙥 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄𝙛 𝙄 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙖 𝙢𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩
𝙄 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙛 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙨
𝙔𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙚
𝙒𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙚 𝙘𝙧𝙮

I can't help it, but every time I hear this song only one person comes immediately to my mind. When the composer of this song offered it for me to sing it, I didn't hesitate and agreed to it in heartbeat. I was also in a dark place during that time when me and him first decided to cool off. So this song really fits whatever I'm going through during that time.

𝙄𝙩’𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙢𝙚, 𝙎𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙨
𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙡 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨
𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙞𝙡𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙣𝙤𝙬
𝙄 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙚 𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙞𝙩 𝙗𝙮 𝙣𝙤𝙬

True, I should really be used to not having him beside me but I really don't know why I find it hard to accept that having you again screams impossible now.

𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡, 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙮 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙
𝙏𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙪𝙥 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄𝙛 𝙄 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙖 𝙢𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩
𝙄 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙛 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙨
𝙔𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙚
𝙒𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙚 𝙘𝙧𝙮

𝙊𝙛 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚, 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙𝙗𝙮𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨
𝙈𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧
𝙄 𝙖𝙢 𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙞𝙩

Should I really accept my defeat right now, Ji?
 

𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙄 𝙩𝙧𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙚𝙩
𝙏𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙪𝙥, (𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙪𝙥)
𝙊𝙣 𝙩𝙤𝙥 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨
𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙛𝙡𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙥𝙨
𝙈𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄 𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙨𝙤 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙝𝙞𝙙𝙙𝙚𝙣
𝙌𝙪𝙞𝙚𝙩𝙡𝙮 𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙨𝙚𝙨 𝙞𝙩𝙨 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙
𝙄 𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙭𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨 𝙫𝙤𝙞𝙘𝙚

𝙊𝙛 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚, 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨
𝘽𝙚𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩, 𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩
 
𝙊𝙛 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚, 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙𝙗𝙮𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨
𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙙 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙙𝙚𝙚𝙥𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙢𝙚 𝙘𝙧𝙮
 
𝙃𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚, 𝙂𝙤𝙤𝙙𝙗𝙮𝙚𝙨 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙚 𝙘𝙧𝙮

Maybe this isn't the right time for us. Maybe in another lifetime, where the universe allows us to be together, I wouldn't allow anything to come between us. But now, I should follow what my mind is telling me to because my heart would never learn to let go of you even though that's what I really need to do.

When I have decided what I'll do, tears fell fastly off of my eyes and trailed down on my cheeks. Knowing it'll be the hardest thing to make but most fittingly to do.

𝐇𝐢𝐬

My mind is in a daze right now. If I can just tear myself into two where one would go to Jinwoo and the other one to Taeyeon. Dara noona said that she rushed Jinwoo to the hospital since Jinwoo wouldn't want to eat anything for the past few days and if he ate something, he would throw it up immediately. 
 

Now, Jinwoo fainted probably because of dehydration. I asked why Dara noona didn't bother to tell me but she said she didn't want to disturb me for she knows that I'm spending most of my time with Tae nowadays.

I'm on my way to my mother's close friend's hospital the same hospital where I brought Taeyeon when she also fainted. I asked Dara Noona to bring Jinwoo there as I already informed them about him and his situation.

While on my way to the hospital, I tried countless times to call Taeyeon but she wouldn't answer. I know that she overheard my conversation with Dara noona and I guess she's forming a lot of scenarios in her head that are probably not close to the truth. 
 

I want to go after her but first I have to make sure that Jinwoo is fine. 
 

Many of my friends and people around me thought that Jinwoo was my son with Dara noona, considering what happened between me, Dara noona, and Taeyeon. 
 

I remember one time when Youngbae suddenly barged into my studio when I was in the middle of recording something.

"The your problem, Ji?" he angrily said to me. And I just faced him confused. "Are you really making a fool out of me? Spending one night with noona isn't enough and you had to make it recklessly?" he still angrily said.

"What the hell are you talking about, bae?" I don't want to add fuel to fire for I still don't have any clue why would he just barge in my studio and start screaming to my face. 

"Do you have a son with Dara noona? If yes, how can you even plan on taking Tae back if you already have some baggage with you," he asked. Finally, I have an idea of what he's telling me. 
 

"I don't have any son, bae. And if I have, I would definitely let Tae be the mother of my child. If you mean Jinwoo, Jinwoo is Dara noona's nephew which she most of the time looks after for Jinwoo's parents stay out of the town mostly. And because of that Dara noona's mother have to take care of him and Dara noona always looks after him if she's free so that she wouldn't burden her mother that much." I explained.

After hearing my explanation, Bae's face suddenly lit up no grumpiness is evident. He said he was sorry and didn't ask the truth from me and just concluded things on his own without hearing my side. 
 

I said it's fine and said he was just being a good friend that looks after my wellbeing. 
 

I'm now near the hospital, I texted Dara noona and ask what's Jinwoo's room number so that I can go straight ahead. After receiving her text, I immediately parked my car and went to Jinwoo's room. 

Once, I opened the door, Dara noona's worried face welcomed me. I hugged her then went to Jinwoo's side who is now sleeping soundly right now. 
 

"What is his diagnosis, noona?" I asked noona while brushing Jinwoo's hair. "They are still conducting tests right now. They get a sample of his blood and urine and the doctor still hasn't come back." noona said, and I just nodded.  
 

I stared at Jinwoo's peaceful pale face. Anyone would also think that Jinwoo is my son because of our closeness. I became his substitute dad since his father is often not in the town and if he is, he would only stay for a few days. 
 

Dara noona would always bring him to the company, where most of the time I would stay since staying in my house would just make me drown myself in alcoholic beverages since I would constantly think about Tae and what I did to her.
 

I remember the first time I saw Jinwoo, he entered my studio w