When I wake up the next morning, it still feels like a complete chaos in my head. In the past two weeks, I have recieved more information than I have ever recieved in my entire life. I still can't believe that I'm for 50% a monster and that I need to feed myself on human food and on blood too. But I still haven't found all of the answers yet, so I need to go and find those answers myself. Maybe when I'm skilled enough is when I will try to find those answers.

I'm in a room inside the palace of the Cha family. The Lord told me that I couldn't return home, in order to keep me safe from the Raveners and Sangchul. It's like I have a target strapped on my back and I am nowhere in the state of accepting my fate. As long as I don't have all of the puzzle pieces together, I am not going to accept my fate. But today is when I'm going to start with the training and after that, I'm able to go home to pay my family a visit. As from what I have heard, the Lord doesn't want me to return home if I'm not fully trained enough to stand up for myself. The enemy always will be stronger than you if you are a rookie into the big field.

A knock is heard on the door and the door opens shortly after that. I sit up straight immediately, I feel quite embarrassed to remain on the floor when someone enters my room. But this room right here is more fancy than my own room. Two ladies enter the room and they tell me that they came to my room to get me dressed up. Are they seriously helping me? Is that how it works here? I actually wanna do it myself, but I don't want to act rude aswell. 

''Goodmorning, the Lord has sent us to get you dressed for today.'' one of the ladies says and I respond with a simple nod. I still don't know why these ladies are here and why they have their hair up like that. I'm only used to see the hair of women in a braid on their back. I have never seen ladies like them, maybe it's because they're not allowed to leave this place... I swing my legs over the side of the bed as I turn into the direction of the ladies. I feel a bit uncomfortable, but I have to get used to it. This is where I have to stay for now and I have no idea for how long, it's just for as long as I need for training.

The ladies make their way to me, as one of them carries a bowl with her. I assume there must be water in there, so there won't be a way to get suspicious. I have no reason to get suspicious of something like that, but I'm scared that I might be at some point. I'm a monster for 50%, so my behaviour might change at some point. But for now, I hope that I won't become such a monster. I'm really scared of myself now, so I wonder if I am able to overcome my fear. 

I take off my top and the two start to get me cleaned up. I close my eyes in the mean time as I let the two ladies do whatever they have to do. I feel quite embarassed with them around doing all of this, since I am used to do all of this by myself. Once they start, I try to keep breathing in order to keep myself under control. Now that I know that I'm not fully human, I'm scared of what might happen to me if I let this other side come to surface.

''So you are the one who the Lord has considered as special right?'' one of the two asks and I nod without saying a word. They will learn more about me sooner or later, because I'm not allowed to leave this place anytime soon. My dad and my siblings are allowed to visit me, but I don't know how many times they can visit me. I haven't heard anyone about that. I hope it'll be a few times a week.

''The creatures that the Raveners are, probably your non-human side, are considered to be the worst enemy of the people. None of them were ever friendly to us and they all are out there to kill us. I hope that you aren't going to end up like them.'' the other woman says and I sigh, hoping that I can proof that I won't become like that. I wish I could disappear, because this isn't how I want to show myself in front of other people. I have to be ready if I ever have to face my parents, if they're still alive. I also have no idea who my biological parents are, if my dad appears to be my adoptive father. 

Then, another knock is heard at the door. I give permission to come in and the door opens after just a few seconds. It's Hakyeon who enters the room and he smiles once he sees that the two ladies are busy with getting me dressed for today, I can sense that for some reason. He makes his way to me and he takes a seat on his knees in front of me, his hand on my lap. I can tell by his eyes that he is excited for today, he is excited for today's training. I don't know what to expect, so I'm scared a little bit.  

''How are you feeling, Taekwoon? I hope you have rested enough for today's training. You will get some education aswell on the side you want to neglect. Don't forget that the most important thing in the end is to embrace this non-human side of yours, because that blood is definitely running through your veins. You have to accept it, Taekwoon.'' Hakyeon says and I open my eyes. I sigh when I look at him, not wanting to understand what is going on and not wanting to accept it just yet. 

''I've slept well to my surprise, because I was pretty sure that I wouldn't sleep due to being overwhelmed. But I am ready for today's training. I mean, I have no other choice.'' I tell Hakyeon and I feel like as if I'm about to change on the inside. It feels like as if I feel safe around Hakyeon, but it's just a feeling that I can't confirm yet. Maybe I am able to figure out what this is when I'm around Hakyeon some more. But besides, why should I be with him if I would ever fall in love with him? He is fully human and will die one day. I will be this age as long as I may live. But love is something I don't wanna discover just yet, that's for later.

Hakyeon's hand moves to my shoulder and I can sense that he feels relieved that I have slept well. He rubs with his thumb over my shoulder and one of the ladies start to brush my hair as she removes the rubber band out of my hair. I've always had it in a ponytail, I never had it loose over my shoulders. Although I was asked many times by people to have my hair loose over my shoulders. Hakyeon's eyes scan my hair and streaks through my hair.

''I never have seen you like this before Taekwoon, but I am stunned. You should wear your hair like this more often. A weakness of mine is men who have their long hair loose over their shoulders or those who have a small section of their hair into a ponytail.'' Hakyeon says and I'm surprised by what Hakyeon told me. Hakyeon likes men? That's the first time I have heard him say that, but that shows to me more and more what kind of person Hakyeon is like. He hasn't confessed to me that he likes me, so I should be fine for now.