002: 

“Jiyong…Jiyong…” I cried. 

I closed my eyes and imagine Jiyong’s face. Fcking handsome… 

My hand started to roam around my body. For the very first time, my hand felt so cold.  My body arched as my hand reached my and started to rub it,  gently. Imagining it is Jiyongs’ long, slender hands. 

“J-Jiyong…” I gasped. I bit my lower lip to suppress the moan that is about to escape. 

It’s been a week since I started to do this. Touching my body imagining it is Jiyong who’s touching me. The video, it was tightly engraved in my head. How his kisses makes that btch moan, how he gently move his hips. Honestly, I am jealous of that btch. I want to strangle her for kissing Jiyong that day. I am so jealous that I asked for her name from my friends; I am so jealous that I started to post rumours about her. I hate her to death!

“F-Fck me…J-Jiyong…Jiyong…”

My breathing is getting heavier as my finger started to play with my core. I don’t know why but after watching that video, I’ll always waking up in the middle of the night, wanting Jiyong do that to me. I wanted him to undress me, kiss my lips and make-love with me. I want to see him . I want to see how his face as he his manhood in me. I want Jiyong to look at me like that. I want to see his smile. 

I closed my eyes as I felt something came out. My feet were twitched, my body arched and a satisfied moan came out. 

“Ahhhh….Jiyong….” I said with a smile on my face. 

Damn. I am a fcking ert. Touching myself every night…tch.  

I opened my eyes and it seems like I am floating. I am satisfied, I started to pant really hard. I can even see Jiyong on top of me, smiling. He is giving me a warm smile. 

“Did you enjoy it?” He asked. 

“Y-Yeah…” I answered. I reached out for his lips and gently kiss them. “I love you, Ji.” 

“I love you too, Sandara…” 

The annoying tone of the alarm woke me up the next day. I stretch out my arm and smiled. Damn…I’ve got the nicest dream ever! I thought. 

I got up and folded the blanket. “Fck…this blanket stings of sweat.” I mumbled. I started to smile. “Ahhh…what could be the smell of my sweat and Jiyongs’ sweat mix, huh?” 

I bit my lower lip. It’s still 8AM and yet I’m started to think about Jiyong fcking me. I immediately erased those thoughts as I take a shower. I need to catch the same train he’ll use. My class will start at 10AM but I want to see him first thing in the morning. There was a time when I didn’t wake-up on time and missed the train, my mood turned sour. 

I was humming as I brush my hair. How does it feel being with Jiyong? I am really curious. 

Maybe this crazy thoughts about him will remain forever- un-responded. I am not his type. He will never notice me. Jiyong’s type are tall girls with slender body. Model-type. While me? I am petite. I don’t have the qualities to stand-out. I like wearing neutral coloured clothes. I love wearing rubber shoes. I don’t like wearing make-up. I’m not even into sports. I’m just, yeah, nerd. 

I entered the usual train-cart he’s using: Cart number 5, door 3. My eyes started to roam around and there, I saw my beloved Jiyong sitting on the edge and silently scrolling through his phone. My heart twitched upon seeing him. Damn! This is your effect to me, Jiyong… I thought. 

I silently walk towards him and stand in-front of him. He’s using Instagram. He didn’t update anything since yesterday. Maybe he’s just scrolling. I look at his perfectly disheveled hair. From his apartment towards the station is a long walk. I am thanking the God of Wind for making his hair like that. 

I look at his thumb gently scrolling through his phone screen. Slender fingers. Damn. Why is it he’s so perfect? 

His perfect eyelashes move as he blink and his tongue… brush on his lip. Fcking turn-on… 

I heave a heavy sigh. I don’t want him to notice me but he surprisingly lifted his head meeting my eyes. I panicked, inwardly. Our eyes never meet after the ceremony. I never dare to look at him with a chance of meeting his eyes. I know I will…melt. Damn…

He blink a few times as he stares at me. “Hey, you look familiar…” 

My eyes widened as he said those words. M-Me? Familiar? 

“E-Eh?” I nervously asked. My words were nowhere to be found. I am nervous and at the same time caught off-guard. I’ve never imagine a scenario like this! I am always thinking that he will never notice me; that he won’t even give me a glance. And what is happening right now isn’t part of the things I prepared! 

He scratch his head, probably thinking really hard as to where does he meet me. BUT that was few months ago! I thought. He can’t remember me. It’s… it’s impossible! He’s meeting a lot of people and I don’t stand-out so it’s so impossible to know my name. 

Alright, calm down Sandara. He won’t remember you. He won’t—

“Ah! You’re following me on IG, right?” 

My eyes widened. Of all things, of all things, why that? I started to think of his possible next questions. I want to bit my thumb. This stresses me out. I don’t like how things were going. I am hoping he didn’t notice that I liked all of his IG post-up to the oldest post and that I view his IG stories. Every. Single. Day. 

I don’t want to be labeled as stalker or…obsessed with him! I am not like that! I am not obsessed with him. 

“A-Ah. Y-Yeah.” I stuttered. “Y-You’re quite f-famous. A-And we have common friends so…” 

“Really?” he said, with a shy-smile on his face. My heart melted upon seeing that smile. “Thank you. But I think…Ah! I met you few months ago!” 

“H-huh?” 

“Opening Ceremony!” He said, a bit excited with his raised tone of voice. “The girl with the book!” 

I felt my heart momentarily stop. It felt like the whole surrounding stop. I clenched my chest, I think I’m having a heart attack. 

Why? Why do you still remember me?