“I can’t believe she went home...that .” Doyeon glances down at her girlfriend who was angrily chewing on some food. Yoojung was mad that Jinsoul went home while she was fairly happy that the blonde decided to ditch them. Doyeon saw it as an opportunity for them to be together uninterrupted, Jinsoul was fun and all. But demanded all of Yoojung’s attention which left Doyeon following the two around like a babysitter.

She wanted to turn this into a date, however, Yoojung was in too bad of a mood. “I mean, we did look for her for hours.” Doyeon sighs out, yeah, hours. Jinsoul went home and it was obvious. It wasn’t like it was hard to find Jinsoul, from looks and sounds. The blonde was a sight for eyes, gorgeous and vibrant. But also had the loud attention grabbing attitude to match it. 

Doyeon wraps her arm around Yoojung’s waist, “I know, I just wish she told us instead of giving my freaking camera to a stranger. They could have stolen it Doyeon! And don’t even get me started on…” Doyeon stares at her rambling girlfriend, talking a mile a minute. She tried her best to keep up but it proved to be difficult since she was so tired. 

Yoojung lets out an exasperated sigh and slumps into her arms. Doyeon snorts while wrapping her girlfriend up in a loving embrace. Making sure no one is paying attention, she places a kiss on top of Yoojung’s head, “I’m sorry baby.” Yoojung hums for a response so Doyeon makes a suggestion, “you want me to buy you another cheesecake dipped in chocolate.” Yoojung perks up at that and Doyeon can’t help but smile at how adorable her lover is.

“You’d buy me another?”

Doyeon really can’t hold a smile back around Yoojung, “of course, I’d do anything for you, especially if it’ll make you feel better.” 

Yoojung bounces up and down and Doyeon watches with a brow raised. She’s pulled up on her feet as her girlfriend squeals, “I’m so in love with you!” Yoojung wraps her arms around her waist and rests her chin on Doyeon’s chest. Her girlfriend was wearing high waisted denim shorts with a colorful striped shirt. Doyeon’s bomber jacket had been stolen from her when Yoojung got too cold, but she didn’t mind. It made Yoojung look even tinier than she was. 

God she’s so pretty. Doyeon rubs on her girlfriend’s head as she stares down at her. “I’ll let you do whatever you want to me tonight.” The tone of Yoojung’s voice is completely innocent but Doyeon doesn’t question the meaning.

Without another word she pulls out her wallet and hands it to Yoojung. Stretching her arm over Yoojung’s shoulder’s Doyeon leans down to whisper in her ear, “I love you too.” Yoojung giggles while leaning into her, starting to lead them back to the place that sells chocolate dipped sweets. Doyeon smiles at her girlfriend who starts to joke around, she’s happy to see Yoojung in a better mood than before.

She’d do anything for her girl to be happy. 

Doyeon isn’t paying attention to anyone else as they wall, only Yoojung. But after a while of walking her girlfriend freezes, “you gotta be kidding!” Doyeon glances around before noticing a pair that makes her roll her eyes just like Yoojung did. 

So much for the good mood, because Yoojung’s storming up towards Jinsoul and Sooyoung who were smiling and laughing together. Jinsoul looks embarrassed when Yoojung starts to chew her out while Sooyoung glances away just as ashamed, “seriously Jung! You ditched us to hang out with your girlfriend?”

Jinsoul and Sooyoung glance at each other before darting their gazes away, blushes both reaching their cheeks. Weird. Doyeon thinks, Sooyoung usually was shy around Jinsoul, but the blonde was also being bashful? Doyeon knew something was up.

“She’s not my girlfriend!” 

Narrowing her eyes at Sooyoung, Doyeon starts to realize just how much she cares about Jinsoul, even though she’d never admit that. She doesn’t like the idea of Sooyoung becoming interested in the blonde. Her old acquaintance, which she wouldn’t lie about, was one of the best people she knew, was also known for getting around. Or for short being a terrible lover. 

Sooyoung pretended to have feelings to worm her way into girl’s hearts. And while she could give them the night of their life, it usually just stayed a single night. It left a lot of girls heart broken and even a few enraged. 

Knowing that Sooyoung would be the best they’ve ever had, would leave them bitter and ashamed of letting themselves be played. Sooyoung was a one time lover. But often became the one for many girls. 

Doyeon couldn’t imagine what it would feel like. If Yoojung would have ghosted her after their first night together as a couple. Doyeon was so in love she wouldn’t know how she would survive. And after knowing Jinsoul for a few years, she knows if anything happens between the two things will go either one way or another.

Jinsoul will either destroy Sooyoung for playing her.

Or she’ll move on as if it was just another fling. 

However, Jinsoul didn’t seem the type of girl to fall for stuff like that. Doyeon knew the girl was strong and defensive. Sooyoung wouldn’t easily trap her. Or at least Doyeon hopes so.

“Go ahead and say goodbye because you’re coming with us.” Yoojung scolds Jinsoul like a child while glaring at Sooyoung herself. Doyeon can’t help but snort as Sooyoung cowers at the tiny threat that her girlfriend is. She would admit however, Doyeon’s never seen Sooyoung this off of her game. Usually she was smooth and confident around cute girls, but she seemed to be complete mush around Jinsoul. 

Jinsoul pouts, “what? Why can’t Sooyoung come with us?” 

Yoojung shakes her head, not letting the expression on Jinsoul’s face affect her in any way. Doyeon is impressed, usually that frown was impossible to ignore from the blonde. “She’s not invited, sorry.” 

Sooyoung looks absolutely defeated and Jinsoul rubs her arm for comfort. “Well you heard the boss...I guess I’ll see you soon?” Jinsoul says with a hopeful tone to her voice. Sooyoung tilts her head with a longing look in her eyes as she nods. Doyeon watches the whole exchange, observing how much the two didn’t want to part ways. “Call me?” 

“I don’t have your number.” Sooyoung frowns and Jinsoul backs her head away confused.

“Oh really? I thought I put it in your lunch…” 

“Hurry up Jinsoul.” The two look at Yoojung who is tapping at her wrist as if there’s a watch there.

Sooyoung looks at Doyeon with a pleading expression and she just shrugs. She’s not gonna go against her own girlfriend, Sooyoung’s on her own with this one. Jinsoul whips back around quickly, placing her hands on Sooyoung’s hips. Doyeon notices how touchy the blonde’s become, “can you remember it?”

Jinsoul’s girl toy nods dumbly, “wouldn’t forget it for nothing.” As the blonde slowly recites some numbers she begins to hug Sooyoung, but Yoojung doesn’t let it last long before she’s pulling Jinsoul away. The blonde whines out the last few numbers and it looks extremely dramatic as Yoojung drags Jinsoul away from Sooyoung who has an empty glint in her eye.

Doyeon stays behind and waits till the two now bickering girls are out of earshot. Doyeon smiles at her girlfriend, arguing with Jinsoul about god knows what before turning to Sooyoung. “I know it’s your thing to feed off girls who need you.” Sooyoung’s empty glare turns into something dark as they lock eyes, but Doyeon steels herself. “But I swear if you hurt her, you’ll be the one needing help.” 

With that, Doyeon walks off. Joining the two who were walking towards their original destination. Jinsoul keeps looking back at Sooyoung as they get further and further apart. The older girl behind them stands completely still before finally turning around to disappear into the crowd. Doyeon swears she sees tears swell up in Jinsoul’s eyes.

Maybe it’s too late, maybe Sooyoung’s already got her clutch on Jinsoul’s heart. Doyeon can’t protect her like she wants to. Sooyoung’s addicted to girls like she is candy, but just like the sugary treat...the addiction melts eventually. Until Sooyoung finds a new favorite flavor.  Doyeon will make sure Jinsoul doesn’t melt away like the rest of them.

Yoojung eats her cheesecake happily while blabbering as if Jinsoul isn’t sulking around. Doyeon listens to her girlfriend eagerly, laughing at all her jokes and rubbing her lower back when she smiles. However, she can’t completely ignore how Jinsoul slowly chews on her food, like she was sad. It’s cute, but Yoojung notices how pitiful it is. 

The blonde takes small bites and fights off the urge to cry. Yoojung looks up at her, worried and scared. “Doyeon, it’s weird right?”

Taking a deep breath she agrees, “yeah.” Looking back over to Jinsoul who was the epitome of a kicked puppy. Wide shiny eyes and everything, she sighs.

“Very weird.” 

~~~~

Sooyoung spots her sisters from afar. They’re all leaned up against the old brown van Sooyoung drove them here with. She counts them really quick, making sure there’s none missing. There’s the youngest, Yeojin. Her sworn enemy, Hyejoo. The twins, Yerim and Hyunjin and finally Heejin who was more of an adult than she was. Yup, they’re all there...Sooyoung hopes they haven’t been waiting long.

The twins are messing with Yeojin as Sooyoung strolls up to them. “Where the hell have you been?” Sooyoung is pulled back to her sister Hyejoo, who has a cigarette hanging out of .

Sooyoung jerks it out from between her lips, ignoring the aggressive protest she’s given, “I told you to quit that .” She grumbles while throwing the cigarette on the ground and putting it out with her sneaker.

Heejin is laughing for some reason, “she was with that girl remember? The one we saw at the bbq stand.” Sooyoung blushes at the mention of Jinsoul and the three who were goofing around start to make kissing noises at her. 

Sooyoung flips her sisters off while snapping at them to get in the van. They were teenagers, while Hyejoo and Heejin were only a bit younger than her. Heejin was around Jinsoul’s age but Sooyoung still saw her as the same baby sister that she always was. Hyejoo is glaring at her, “yeah, was she worth it? You know, ditching your sisters that you only see once in a blue moon for?” 

Heejin knudges Hyejoo in the side for the comment. But it doesn’t help with Sooyoung’s guilt. Hyejoo was right. Sooyoung never saw them anymore. The nineteen year old rolls her eyes and slides the van door open to chaos. She throws a few lazy punches before making her way in. Once it shuts there’s an awkward silence, until Heejin speaks through the tension, “she misses you Sooyoung. We all do, but don’t feel bad for meeting up with a girl.” 

Sooyoung bites her lip at the uneasy feeling in her stomach. She missed her sisters too. Heejin just reminds her of why she doesn’t get to see them anymore, “you didn’t get to be a teenager like we did. You’re allowed to have fun, don’t worry about us...we have all the time in the world to be together.” It’s the same thing every time. Sooyoung s up, Heejin allows her to excuse it for having a bad childhood.

But she didn’t. Sooyoung had a great childhood, if she just ignored her parents. The memories with her sisters were cherished in her heart. They were her everything. “Come on kid, I’ll drive you home.” Sooyoung was kicked out when she was sixteen years old. She lived from house to house until she was eighteen. Then she was able to get a scholarship, her career, her ambitions became everything.

Hyejoo took it the hardest. Sooyoung used to pride herself on being the best sister. But now she was just the worst. Heejin saw her the most, Hyejoo tried, but Sooyoung was busy...or lied that she was. That’s why her sister is so bitter after all this time, it’s why Heejin secretly is.

Sooyoung jumps into the driver seat and puts it in gear. Checking the rearview mirror, she gasses the van onto the road. It isn’t fifteen minutes later until almost all of them are asleep. She knows Yeojin and Yerim rode rides all night while Hyunjin probably played the punch machine a thousand times. Heejin probably got exhausted just watching them.

Glancing back, she sees Hyejoo looking out the window. Shifting one hand on the wheel she reaches back. She waits, but after some hesitation, Hyejoo takes her hand. “I’m sorry...I-” Sooyoung has no excuse. Hyejoo squeezes her hand, telling her she doesn’t have to explain.

“It’s okay, you can’t help that you're a horndog.”

Sooyoung grumbles as she hears that annoying and squeaking laugh behind her. Hyejoo leans forward so they can talk more quietly, in an effort to not wake the rest of the girls up. “Do you like her?” 

Taking a deep breath, Sooyoung answers honestly, “yeah a lot, more than I’ve ever liked anyone.”

“Well that’s not much actually, considering you’ve never liked anyone you’ve dated.”

“Hyejoo.”

“You know I’m right.” Sooyoung rolls her eyes before focusing back onto the road. Her sister was telling the god's honest truth. Sooyoung’s never really had feelings for anyone, that’s what makes Jinsoul so overwhelming. Because Sooyoung’s feelings for her are...hard to control. Strong and running so deep that Sooyoung was starting to get scared.

Once some feelings dig themselves so deep, they’re bound to leave a scar when they’re ripped out. Hopefully, Sooyoung can push them away before that happens. Or maybe she won’t have to.

Maybe Jinsoul won’t hurt her.

But even with that possibility. Sooyoung knows she’ll be the one to up and end up hurting Jinsoul. Doyeon seems to know it too. With the fair warning she gave Sooyoung. She doesn’t want to hurt Jinsoul but she can’t give that girl what she wants and Sooyoung knows it will be painful when the blonde realizes that.

Sooyoung wants to though. She wants to give Jinsoul everything. She wants to give Jinsoul the entire world. But insecurities and past trauma have too strong of a clutch on her. Sooyoung will have to deal with her trust and commitment issues before she’ll ever fall for Jinsoul, or she’ll end up dooming whatever is blossoming between them. 

She needs time.

Sooyoung can’t let Jinsoul fall for her.

Not yet at least.

Doyeon probably thinks she’s playing Jinsoul, but she ended that game a long time ago. But if it gets to that point, Sooyoung may have to pretend she was. Just for Jinsoul to let her go. Sooyoung doesn’t think she could tell Jinsoul the truth, why they’d never be able to be together. She knows it would break the girl’s heart worse than if Jinsoul thinks she was just being played. Sooyoung hates that thought however, letting Jinsoul think she was being manipulated and lied to for her selfish needs.

But Sooyoung didn’t see any other way if that moment came.

And she knows it will. Jinsoul’s far too hard to resist. Sooyoung’s already way too deep. The blonde was perfect, everything about her. Sooyoung was addicted to Jinsoul like she was a drug. When she remembers the kiss they shared, her grip on the steering wheel gets tighter. It was more than just a kiss though. Jinsoul latched onto her, she didn’t let go, Sooyoung didn’t want her to.

Jinsoul was sweeter than any candy she’s ever had. Sooyoung doesn’t have to search for her favorite flavor anymore. Jinsoul had her losing every breath, had her heart flying higher than the fireworks. That girl was something else.

“What’s she like?” 

Sooyoung smirks, “well you seen her right?” She knows Hyejoo’s rolling her eyes but Sooyoung can’t help it. Jinsoul was an absolute angel, drop dead gorgeous through and through. Sooyoung just couldn’t get over that face or figure. That killer jawline or perfectly shaped curves. But Hyejoo wants to know the blonde personally, not how beautiful she is. 

A thousand words come to mind for Sooyoung. She can’t really think of one that does Jinsoul justice, “she’s a lot like you kinda, moody.” Hyejoo pinches her hand but Sooyoung only laughs, “but she has a heart of gold. She’s really kind, showed me she cares without ever telling me.” Sooyoung smiles just thinking of her, Jinsoul’s got her enamoured miles away, “the most ambitious person I’ve met it’s admirable.” Jinsoul was so confident in her abilities and self she didn’t need other people to believe in her. Sooyoung didn’t know anyone who she respected more.

“A bit clingy, but I don’t mind. I love giving her attention...because Hyejoo you should see that smile my god, the things I’d do to see it everyday.” Sooyoung messes around a bit, trying to gross her sister out and she’s successful when she hears a faint gagging noise in the back. 

“Easy there tiger, think you might explode.” Sooyoung snorts at her younger sister's comment, “when did you get so corny? Like seriously Sooyoung you sound like a total loser right now.”

“Hey, watch it.” Sooyoung grumbles playfully, but her sister is right. She was a total loser. But she couldn’t be happier being one. “I think you’d like her.” 

I know I already do. 

Maybe I even love her. 

“Yeah?” Hyejoo asks, probably hoping that she will meet Jinsoul.

Sooyoung sighs, she hopes so too, “yeah.”

The rest of the ride back is quiet. Sooyoung gets her sisters home safely and hugs them goodbye outside of their childhood home. Sooyoung looks up at it with a bittersweet feeling, “you wanna come inside? Mom’s been asking about you.” Sooyoung’s heart jumps a little bit at that. She really missed her mom. 

But she shakes her head. “No it’s okay.” She hates how broken her voice sounds. Sooyoung knows she can’t go in there now. Not until she’s ready. Heejin frowns at her and starts to walk away. All her sisters do and Hyejoo is the last one in, watching Sooyoung turn and walk down the street. Leaving the family van behind. 

Sooyoung will be just fine.

As long as she keeps thinking of Jinsoul’s brown eyes.

~~~~

After applying some press-on nails, Jinsoul begins to paint them purple. Yoojung’s was laying in front of her old box tv, watching MTV. Jinsoul keeps glancing at the girl with her feet hanging up in the air, humming along to the fuzzy music blaring through the speakers. 

Jinsoul rolls her eyes, “turn that crap off, I wanna watch something else.” 

Yoojung shoves more popcorn into , “what got something against tears for fear?” Jinsoul checks out her nails, blowing on them slightly to dry them. 

Shrugging her shoulders she answers, “you know I don’t like that new wave stuff.” Glancing back at the tv, she watches Yoojung change the channel a few times before landing on some cartoon. Jinsoul smiles, now that's some entertainment. 

“Or you just don’t like listening to dudes.” Yoojung mumbles out before turning towards her. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Yoojung shrugs while lifting herself up from the carpet before skipping over to Jinsoul. The blonde groans when her best friend flops on top of it, holding out her own hands so Jinsoul will do her nails. “I mean look around Jinsoul, all you like is girls… besides Prince and George Michael and you know they’re more in touch with their feminine side.” 

Taking one of Yoojung’s hands in her own, she starts to file down the girl's nails. Not like she has to do much anyways, Yoojung had short ones. Jinsoul takes a long sweep of her room. Like a typical girl’s room for the most part. Pink walls and a fluffy white bed filled with stuffed animals and pillows. Lace curtains, all her collectables, a closet full of cute clothes. A vanity cluttered with makeup and accessories. Her messy nightstand where her radio sits with all it’s cassettes. 

However, usually a girl had her posters. Which Jinsoul did...but her choice was a bit different than other girls. While any other girl would have a token pop-star, like Janet Jackson or Bonnie Tyler, Jinsoul had all of them. Girls had nothing but boys on their walls, but Jinsoul thought that was an eyesore. Her magazine cutouts were of women from Vogue, not the so-called heartthrobs from ‘Teen. 

Jinsoul just ignores it. Like she always has, when people question her she just shrugs and moves on. Not like Yoojung would judge her anyways, but Jinsoul rather keep it a secret to everyone she knows. It’s just easier that way. 

“God, Doyeon has been so romantic lately.” Yoojung’s been blabbering about Doyeon a lot recently. Jinsoul guesses it’s because the cat is finally out of the bag and the girl feels a lot more comfortable around her. She certainly doesn’t mind, because secretly all the talk Yoojung does, Jinsoul just replaces those stories with her and Sooyoung.

Oh Sooyoung… 

“Hey! Are you even listening to me?” Jinsoul blinks out of her daze, shifting her eyes up, she smiles sheepishly at Yoojung who was glaring at her. Dumbly nodding the girl quickly goes back to her story, “as I was saying, she’s usually ing around with all that clay and stuff, finally she’s in an art slump so she’s been wanting to hang out more! I mean...it’s bad she’s in a slump or whatever but that’s more me time right! Yesterday we went to blah-blah -blahblah .” 

Jinsoul starts to fade out of the conversation again. She tries to focus but all she can make out of the movement of Yoojung’s lips are dial tone noises. The blonde was usually the one that talked someone’s ear off, but years of hiding a relationship has to be hard. Yoojung’s must have a lot bottled in.

The blonde finishes up Yoojung’s nails allowing the freedom for the girl to wave her hands around in an exaggerated manner as she talks. Leaning back onto her pillows she just nods along to all of Yoojung’s stories. Doyeon was holed up in that smelly studio most of the time. Making various pottery and such, Jinsoul’s glad that Yoojung is being treated right.

Jinsoul wonders if Sooyoung would treat her like that. Grinding her teeth together, she forces herself to stop, don’t think about her, just because we kissed doesn’t mean we’re gonna start dating. Sooyoung doesn’t want that. But boy is that a dream to think of...dating Sooyoung. Jinsoul can just imagine it. She bets Sooyoung’s one of those girls that like museums and long walks at night. Talking and staying close to each other.

She wonders if Sooyoung has special places to go to, Jinsoul wonders if the girl would ever take her to them. Shaking her head of the day dream she reminds herself. Sooyoung doesn’t do dating, just like Jiwoo said. She’s a player. Jinsoul would have her fun of course, but she wouldn’t fall entirely under Sooyoung’s spell. No matter how easy it would be. 

Besides, Jinsoul doesn’t think Sooyoung’s trying to play her. If anything the older girl is trying to resist her. Jinsoul lets her ego inflate...she knows she’s irresistible. But she should probably help Sooyoung out some to avoid an awkward future between them, or worst, not one at all. Jinsoul promises no more teasing or flirting. No more clinging onto Sooyoung and begging for attention no matter how good it feels to be wrapped up into the girl.

No more pouting when she doesn’t get what she wants. Jinsoul has to learn how to listen to the word no if she wants Sooyoung to stick around her. There’s boundaries she knows that, both of them want to cross them, Jinsoul knows how stupid it would be though if they did. It’d just end up with one of them getting hurt. Jinsoul doesn’t want that for either of them.

Jinsoul’s got it out of her system now, the pent up frustration. The powerful pull that Sooyoung’s got on her. The thick tension that had started to settle in her stomach. It’s gone now, maybe. And it will be for Sooyoung too. 

Still, Jinsoul can’t help but think about it.

She gets unexplainably hot and achy when she remembers how Sooyoung tastes. Her thick yet soft lips, the tiny noises she made whenever Jinsoul couldn’t help but bite down to make sure they’re real. How Sooyoung had a death grip onto her waist and everytime she deepened the kiss the girl’s blunt nails would dig in tighter. 

When Jinsoul pulled back from that kiss she saw the desire in the dark pool of Sooyoung’s eyes. She didn’t think twice before leaning back in. Jinsoul was devoted to the feeling she gets when she’s with Sooyoung. She doesn’t know how long she held onto Sooyoung like she was her lifeline. It was long enough for her lips to go numb from the bruising kisses and biting. Enough for her entire body to feel exhausted from trembling every time Sooyoung her bottom lip in between her own.

It was most definitely the best kiss of her life, and there wasn’t even tongue! Jinsoul hates when guys think that shoving their entire tongue down is what makes a kiss good, because it’s not. It’s the way that Sooyoung was gentle and yet at the same time controlled their kiss with dominance was what made the kiss amazing. It was rough and consuming. Jinsoul knows they were still worked up from the fight, but she couldn’t help but wonder if they had kissed right before that. 

Would it have been different?

The kiss had been desperate and full of hunger. Which didn’t seem like Sooyoung at all. Jinsoul often thought about how Sooyoung would kiss her. She dreamed it would be more romantic, slow and sensual like her personality. Not like she was complaining about the first one...it was just making her realize she wanted more. She wants everything with Sooyoung.

She did when they finally broke apart, needing to breathe after mixing their own for the longest time. It was how Sooyoung held her after, close and safe. Jinsoul liked being enveloped in Sooyoung’s arms more than she liked kissing her. The older girl had pulled her head to rest on her chest, Jinsoul could hear the rampant heart beat along with the rhythm of heavy breaths. Jinsoul wishes she could remember exactly how it felt when Sooyoung started to the back of her head with her fingertips, gently massaging the built up tension there.

Jinsoul knew then, she needed Sooyoung more than she wanted her.

That’s why she was not going to feed into this desire anymore. She needs Sooyoung’s hold more than anything. More than the kissing or arguing. Or the longing look in her eyes.

“Soooo enough about little ol’ me what about you?” 

Jinsoul was stuck in her own world before Yoojung pulled her out of it, “what about me?”

“Yeah Soul, any new boy toys? It’s summer you usually have one by now.” Yoojung says casually and Jinsoul’s head goes blank. She hasn’t thought about boys at all lately, let alone anything else for that matter. It was all about clothes really, and looking good for a certain someone. Oh, and she’s been pretty focused on all her tv shows...maybe she was starting to lose her grip on reality. 

Shrugging she grabs her rubix cube off the nightstand, “I dunno, I’ve been busy.” It’s too quiet, so Jinsoul looks up to see Yoojung staring at her questionably. “What? Stop staring at me like I’m a freak.” 

 “Come ooon, it’s been months since Minho I’m sure you got your eye on someone.” Yoojung pokes at her side and Jinsoul only groans in response, yeah she does have her eye one someone doesn’t mean she can have them. “Or are you turning into a full blown dweeb I mean you have been playing dungeons a lot more.” Jinsoul glares at Yoojung who was hiding her life. Her whole desk was covered in strategies and character sheets. Jinsoul even has custom dice now. 

“Shut up Yoojung.”

Her friend hugs up to her then and carefully takes the rubix cube out of her grip, where she was mindlessly rotating it. “Seriously, you’ve been in your head a lot lately.” Yoojung’s tone is caring and worried. Jinsoul wonders how long she’s been watched. Turning to meet her friend’s gaze she smiles, “you’d tell me if something was up...right Jinsoul?” 

Nodding her head she’s not sure if Yoojung believes her. But the girl pretends to anyway. Jinsoul feels a bit bad, but suddenly remembers something that’ll get Yoojung off her , “well there was this one guy, he gave me his number the other day.”

Yoojung perks up at that, “really? Is he cute?”

Jinsoul giggles, he was, but he wasn’t as cute as Sooyoung. No one would ever be better than Sooyoung and it’s about time for Jinsoul to accept it. “Yeah, should I call him?”

Yoojung goes total girl mode and squeals and all Jinsoul can do is fake it with her. Besides, it’s not like she’s faked it her whole life.

What’s a little while longer gonna hurt?
~~~~

If there was a nuclear bomb dropped, Jinsoul probably wouldn’t notice it. Her eyes are focused on the game in front of her, and any noise she hears is canceled out by the blaring music in her ears. She’s standing in front of Dig-Dug, some kids were messing around with Q*bert and Jinsoul didn’t feel like scaring them off today.

Adjusting her headphones she glances near the door, Xiaojun and Yoojung should be here soon. Then she could start to actually play the game how she wanted to. Glaring at Taeyong, who snapped at her every time she made ever so much as a peep, she waits until he’s looking at her to flip him off.

The boy rolls his eyes and holds his finger up to her as well before going back to his magazine. Taeyong was too uptight, or really too far up Kyungsoo’s . He actually did his job while her friends would just ignore almost anything that happened in the arcade. Including people who would ask them questions, neither Yoojung or Xiaojun knew anything about video games. Not a lot of newcomers were happy when they were working. 

Jinsoul continues to play, getting lost in the mechanics of it. These are the moments that she’s grateful for, where she didn’t think about anything other than the game. “Hiii I just wanted to tell you miss that our nachos are- HOLY !” 

Xiaojun screams when she turns around, the boy was clutching his chest and breathing dramatically. It isn’t a second later before Yoojung rolls up behind him, an oversized purse in one hand and a coffee in the other. “Shut up, don’t act like you didn’t know that was Soul.” Jinsoul slides her headphones off and down to her neck. 

“When have you ever seen Jinsoul wear a Van cort sweater? My shock is valid, she usually has taste.” Jinsoul takes offense to that, her dad's sweater is very comfortable. And while comfort over fashion was a no-no rule for her (because looking good was more important than feeling good)...today was an exception. “I mean she looks very cute, in a dork kinda way, but cute.” 

Jinsoul looks down at her outfit and back up to Xiaojun, “do I really look that lame?” 

“No Jinsoul.”

“Yes love.” 

Xiaojun and Yoojung answer at the same time, the girl elbows the boy in the ribs, “why do you always have to be so rude?” 

“I’m not being rude! I said she looked cute!” Xiaojun exclaims in a defensive manner. When Jinsoul and Yoojung both give him skeptical looks he rolls his eyes, “whatever punani lovers I’m gonna go make fun of Taeyong’s leather boots.” With that Jinsoul’s saved from the urge to punch her friend in the face, especially for the last comment. Now, Yoojung was looking at her funny. Since for all she knew, there was only one girl here that was gay…

Xiaojun knows a little more than he should, “you look fine Soul, but it is weird seeing you dress so...normal.” Jinsoul raises a brow at that and takes the coffee that Yoojung hands her. The younger girl never drank caffeine; she was deadly afraid it would give her wrinkles too early in her life. Chugging it in one go, she turns to throw the empty cup at Taeyong before paying attention to Yoojung.

Jinsoul guesses she’s a bit out of her element. Her clothes were always either revealing or entirely too colorful. Now, she was wearing something pretty dull and that covered her entire body.

Along with the sweater she wore her baggiest jeans and some old converse. She even had her glasses on today because the headache she had was proving to be too much. Jinsoul thinks it’s the lack of sleep, or maybe it’s the growing Sooyoung tumor in her brain that pounds every time she thinks of the girl.

“Thanks I guess.” Jinsoul mumbles out and instantly Yoojung picks up on her sunken mood.

The girl eyes her up and down, “okay what’s up?” If the clothes weren't a giveaway, maybe it would be the dark circles under her eyes that she didn’t bother covering up would be a clue.

“It’s nothing, just things are starting to pick up in class.”Jinsoul wasn’t particularly upset about anything. She was just very tired and needed a break from reality. Yoojung frowns at her and gives her a quick hug and kiss on the head before heading over to the counter. Jinsoul lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. 

The games were definitely helping but she could only think of one person. Sooyoung. It’s not like she’s done nothing wrong. Actually Jinsoul would consider Sooyoung to be perfect, no the problem is Jinsoul hasn’t seen her for a while...a long time and it’s starting to irk her in a way it shouldn’t. Jinsoul was a little scared at first, thinking Sooyoung was avoiding her. But that wasn’t the case at all. Some time last week, she was watching the news when she saw a familiar face and charming smile.

She got a call later that night, after fangirling about how good Sooyoung looked during her interview about upcoming projects. It was that same voice she daydreams about all the time now. Sooyoung had apologized for being busy, then apologized some more about how she was gonna stay busy. Meaning no time for Jinsoul...still, she got that call every night and wasn’t about to think about the beating she was gonna get when her mom saw the phone bill. 

The lack of sleep wasn’t because Jinsoul couldn’t close her eyes to rest. No she was peacefully exhausted every night, but Sooyoung kept her up because well, Jinsoul just couldn’t hang up on her. 

Jinsoul has no idea what she’s gonna do, she doesn’t understand her feelings for Sooyoung. One second Jinsoul wants her so bad she can’t stand it, the next she’s scared to death of her. Her conversation with Jiwoo used to not bother her, but now all it did was replay in her mind. Jinsoul really likes Sooyoung.

Really really likes her. 

She has no idea what Sooyoung wants though. Will Jinsoul be like the rest of the girls to her? Or even more...maybe not anything at all. Jinsoul doesn’t like to think about it. She knows what she has to do. Jinsoul can’t let Sooyoung decide when to break her heart, now or later. So Jinsoul will make the choice for her, she'll end whatever is starting between them as soon as possible.

If Sooyoung even saw it as anything in the first place.

Sooyoung might kiss a lot of girls like that casually and Jinsoul doesn’t like how she gets jealous at the thought. That’s something she’ll have to get over. She wants Sooyoung to stay, they’re a good match, just not romantically. Jinsoul will have to learn how to endure when Sooyoung gets a lover or two, a lover that’s not her. 

Jinsoul’s too into the game to notice who walks through the door, umbrella in hand for the cold rain outside. Xiaojun waves excitedly, Sooyoung waves back, the biggest smile on her face. Yoojung greets her as well and when Sooyoung looks at her expectedly she rolls her eyes and points towards the Dig dug game. 

Sooyoung’s smile somehow becomes wider when she sees the blonde, who is completely unaware. The older girl was in more formal clothes today, a cream colored blazer that was a bit too big. The shoulder pads made her body almost triangular. A knee length skirt that was tight around her waist and a silk shirt tucked into it. The silk shirt was cut deep, all the way down to between her s. She was wearing all white, which contrasted her tan skin. 

Jinsoul is grumbling about the game when Sooyoung sneaks up behind. The blonde was listening to the Whitney Houston cassette, Sooyoung could hear it blasting from her headphones. 

“Ugh this game is so freaking stupid,” Jinsoul groans and suddenly she feels her headphones slipping down. Grabbing them with one hand and continuing to play with the other she tries to shift them back up. They won’t budge though, so Jinsoul reaches down further, meeting a soft hand on the way.

The blonde gasps and turns around quickly. Her heart thumping out of her chest from the jumpscare. Her heart catches in once she sees who it is, “hey princess, did you miss me?” Jinsoul wants to smile but then she suddenly remembers what she looks like. Oh my god I don’t even have mascara on! Jinsoul blushes and turns her back to Sooyoung. “Hey! I thought you’d be happy to see me!”

Jinsoul covers ...she was. God, she was so happy to see Sooyoung. And the older girl looked so good today. Her makeup was light, but showcased her features perfectly. Sooyoung was delicate, yet jaw dropping at the same time. She got a few seconds worth of looking into Sooyoung’s eyes that were brighter than usual. Jinsoul noticed how they scrunched up even more when they locked gazes. 

She feels Sooyoung’s hands grip around her waist, “turn around Jinsoul.” The blonde shakes her head and can hear Sooyoung giggle behind her, “don’t be shy, you certainly weren't last night on the phone.” Jinsoul grumbles at the teasing voice and turns around.

Pointing in Sooyoung’s face, Jinsoul’s blood boils more when she sees that arrogant smirk, “yeah cause you said I had a lisp when I clearly don’t!” Jinsoul realizes it was a trap to get her to turn around and now Sooyoung’s staring at her weird. “Jesus don’t make it obvious...I know I don’t look great right now.” 

Sooyoung visibly swallows; she can even hear the gulp noise. Jinsoul knots her brows together, frustrated that the older girl was dumbfounded. She wasn’t that ugly without makeup on for crying out loud! Jinsoul knows she was still pretty, just not as pretty as when she was dolled up. What she didn’t know was that she was dead wrong, to everyone else, she was just as gorgeous. Sooyoung’s looked at her like that before but Jinsoul can’t figure out when she has...maybe it was right before they kissed. 

“What?! God Sooyoung you’re so weird!” Jinsoul snaps at her, making Sooyoung blink in shock. The older girl’s mouth closes from where it was hanging open. 

Pushing out of Sooyoung’s grip, Jinsoul whines when the older girl just pulls them right back together. The front of their bodies flushed against each other. A certain heat blooms in Jinsoul’s chest, the same one from when she kissed Sooyoung once she locks eyes again. Sooyoung’s pupils are blown and Jinsoul doesn’t know why, “will you shut up, can’t I admire you in peace?” 

Jinsoul opens to say something but nothing comes out. She grabs onto the top of Sooyoung’s arms that were covered in the thick fabric of the blazer. Jinsoul knows her hands are sweating from the smouldering look she’s receiving right now. Sooyoung’s grip is still on her waist and Jinsoul can’t help but to lean back from the girl in an effort to resist the urge to do the opposite of that. 

“You’re so ing pretty I can’t stand it.” Sooyoung grits out, like she was almost pissed that Jinsoul was attractive. The blonde relaxes in the possessive hold Sooyoung’s got on her, now mesmerized by the staring contest they were having. 

Jinsoul doesn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed when Sooyoung snaps out of whatever daze she was in. The previous charm fades away, in place of a genuine kindness, “uh um sorry.” Sooyoung stumbles out and giggles nervously while letting Jinsoul settle back into her own space. 

The older girl rubs the back of her head when Jinsoul replies, “it’s okay, we all have our moments.” Sooyoung glares at her for that but then suddenly remembers something. Jinsoul watches as the older girl opens up her blazer. Jinsoul can’t help but stare at the skin exposed, she especially lingers onto Sooyoung’s collarbones, which were prominently sticking out underneath the multiple pearl necklaces. 

“I got you something!” Sooyoung digs for a few moments and then pulls something out, “tadaa!”

Jinsoul glances down after melting at the smile Sooyoung gives her, “a pen?” Sooyoung’s eyes widen and she groans seeing a ballpoint pen stuck between her fingers. Jinsoul snorts when the girl grumples something to herself before tossing the pen behind her head, not caring who it hit. It ends up smacking Taeyong in the head on his way out.

Sooyoung goes back to the inside pocket of her blazer, then something crumbled is in front of Jinsoul’s face, “a rose.” Jinsoul’s about to pass out....Sooyoung got her a rose. She subtly reaches behind her to lean onto the game machine. If not, she’d be hitting the floor.

It’s just a simple stupid little flower but oh my god Jinsoul feels like she’s in a movie. Her diary is going to be mad tonight...because Jinsoul is going to be scribbling random nonsense onto the pages furiously. “It’s...dammit it’s all smashed up.” Sooyoung says defeated and her once proud shoulders slump. 

Jinsoul is falling in love with her.

At first, it was the aura Sooyoung had. The one that said, you can’t touch me but you can look , the one that pissed Jinsoul off but at the same time dragged her along a path towards obsession. Sooyoung was just so mysterious and cool. She was everything a girl wanted to be, and at the same time, wanted to be with. 

Sooyoung was dreamy, in a sense where she was unattainable but everything Jinsoul could ever ask for. She was standoffish, like she didn’t want anyone to know her, and a bit conceited, as if she thought she was too good for anyone who tried. That was only an act though, the icy withdrawn attitude Sooyoung had. Jinsoul may have had a crush on the chic city girl that Sooyoung was at first glance, but she was falling for the secret dork in front of her. That was sweet enough to tell her she was pretty when she felt like , and cared enough to bring her a flower when she didn’t even ask for it.

That liked her for who she was, not for who she was trying to be. 

The older girl is about to shove it back into her pocket when Jinsoul stops her, “no, wait...I love it.” Jinsoul takes the crumbled rose in her hands, “thank you.” She stares at it for a moment and remembers all the beautiful bouquets she’s been given before. None of them compared to this lousy rose though. 

“I know it isn’t much of anything, and well I stopped and got this too.” The older girl reaches down to her bag, Jinsoul’s eyes almost pop out. It was an expensive bottle of perfume, one that Jinsoul could only dream of buying or having a boyfriend who could afford it. But here it was right in front of her face. 

Sooyoung also holds up a tinier replica of the pound puppy they had lost back when they had their disagreement. Jinsoul doesn’t know how to react. She’s frozen, “oh my god.” Sooyoung only hums in response as Jinsoul glances between her hands. Looking up the older girl has her lips turned cutely, just watching her. Sooyoung blushes and quickly straightens them in a line. So much for getting it out of her system, Jinsoul wanted to kiss her just as bad as she did at the festival.

“The rose came free with the perfume and I thought i’d try and surprise you but-”

“Babe, can you hold it?” Jinsoul interrupts Sooyoung’s nervous rambling. 

Sooyoung nods but she’s a bit confused, she takes the stuff she got for Jinsoul out of her hands anyways. “Yeah sure why?” The words die in when Jinsoul reaches up to grab onto her shoulders, standing on her tippie toes. The blonde would grumble because she was so short compared to Sooyoung, especially when she had heels on. But right now she couldn’t pay much attention to anything else other than pressing a kiss onto Sooyoung’s soft cheek.

Jinsoul probably shouldn’t have lingered as long as she did, or put it too close to the corner of Sooyoung’s lips. She doesn’t look at Sooyoung’s reaction, or dwell on the tiny gasp that escaped between the lips that hers were so close to. Wrapping her arms tightly around Sooyoung’s shoulders, Jinsoul leans into the warmth. 

The older girl awkwardly holds her bag and the stuff she got Jinsoul out to the sides. Desperately wanting to hug Jinsoul back but not being able to, Sooyoung only rests her chin down on the blonde’s shoulder. “You gotta stop being so sweet Sooyoung.” Jinsoul whispers out, “or you’re gonna regret it.”

Sooyoung giggles, “and why would I regret that?”

Jinsoul squeezes a little harder than before, she’s so scared. But that only makes the temptation sound sweeter. “I’ll get more annoying.” If you thought it was bad before, just wait until I’m in love with you. Jinsoul means it as a joke but she’s being serious. 

You won’t be able to shake me off just like any other girl.  

Sooyoung pulls away and Jinsoul’s forced to look at her now, she’s embarrassed at how deep her blush is. How hard her heart is thumping. If you break me, I’ll be sure to take a piece of you with me. Sooyoung’s smile feels like poison now, “what if I don’t mind that?” Jinsoul rolls her eyes, “what if I like it when you’re all over me barbie?” Jinsoul huffs out hot air, the poison is running all through her veins now. 

She’s becoming addicted to it.

Surely she’ll become immune before it kills her. Won’t she? 

Her hold is on the back of Sooyoung’s neck now and the resemblance is too much. Jinsoul relives the kiss and her tummy twists and turns. Glancing away she puffs up at the teasing laugh that comes out of Sooyoung’s mouth. Jinsoul’s hands drift down to keep Sooyoung at bay because she was subconsciously leaning forward. 

Sooyoung closes in on her, “Can I have another?” The older girl points at her cheek with a cute smile growing on her face.

Groaning, Jinsoul pushes her away with a disgusted expression, “Ugh, as if, I kinda feel sick giving you one in the first place.” Sooyoung rolls her eyes while subtly locking her arms around Jinsoul’s waist and the blonde tries to squirm her way out.

“Please, I loved it.” Any other time Jinsoul would think Sooyoung was making fun of her, but the tone of the girl’s voice sounded a bit desperate. Like she was trying to play it off as only a joke when really, she actually wanted it more than anything.

Jinsoul reminds herself she can’t play into that any longer, “I’d rather jump off a roof…” She had her eyes closed from trying to resist Sooyoung but when she opens them she regrets it even more. Sooyoung’s pouting up at her, trembling lip and everything. Jinsoul clenches her hands onto Sooyoung’s blazer and pulls away, what she sees makes her even more irked “WHAT ARE YOU FREAKS LOOKING AT!” 

The entirety of the dweeb league was staring at them, practically drooling. Jinsoul feels steam blow out of her ears and Sooyoung drags her away before she starts to physically harm them. They all had dispersed like the little rats they are, thankfully Jinsoul didn’t have to use her claws. “You’re so grumpy today.” Sooyoung sighs and Jinsoul swears she’s gonna pop a blood vessel.

She’s so frustrated right now and she doesn’t know why. Ever since she thought about the kiss she just feels so...hot and on edge. Jinsoul wants to punch something, well at least she thinks she does.

Xiaojun and Yoojung watch from a distance, the boy is the first to speak up, “I give it a week tops before they’re ing.” 

Yoojung snorts, “pleaseeee them will be dropping sooner than that.” Jinsoul’s chewing Sooyoung’s out about something, but there’s nothing but affection in the taller girl’s eyes. Yoojung knows that look, Sooyoung’s got it bad for her best friend. Jinsoul could be ripping her a new one and Sooyoung would just be heart eyes in return, “if they’re not already.”

“Oohh you think so?” Xiaojun says and Yoojung only throws him a knowing look. Jinsoul’s now bouncing her fists off Sooyoung’s chest playfully as the older girl tugs on the blonde’s sweater, pulling her closer. They’re all over each other. 

Yoojung sighs, “yup, can’t you tell? I mean have you ever seen Jinsoul this crazy over someone. Two weeks and she’s gonna be like ‘hey babes...I gotta a little secret’ and we both know what’s it gonna be.” Yoojung had a weird feeling about it though. Sooyoung was really sweet to Jinsoul, treating her friend like she should be. They were basically perfect for each other. But there was something off. Nothing that Yoojung hasn’t noticed, however, everytime she brings the two up to Doyeon her girlfriend gets upset.

What was she missing here?

“You dirty , what’s the wager.”

“Dinner and an additional ten bucks.” 

Xiaojun holds his hand out, “you're so on.” 

Jinsoul can’t get the words out, not here in front of everyone. She glances over at Yoojung who was shaking hands with Xiaojun for some reason. “I’m just saying, you really at Dig Dug, I’m trying to give you some advice.”

“Can we talk?” Jinsoul blurts out suddenly. 

Sooyoung is playing the game but once she hears the shake of Jinsoul’s voice, she turns, “We’re talking right now.” 

Staring a hole through Sooyoung’s face she waits for the older girl to give up the joke, but she doesn’t. Jinsoul stomps on the ugly abstract carpet with her fist clenched, “ugh Sooyoung you know what I mean!” Jinsoul knows she can be a brat sometimes, but she has a hunch that Sooyoung likes it. She sees the way Sooyoung has to compose herself after her whining and crying.

Sooyoung smirks and rolls her eyes playfully, “Sure princess, what’s on your mind?” Jinsoul gulps as the older girl stands back up where she was hunkered over the buttons of dig dug. If they were there any longer she could hear Sooyoung’s stupidly attractive voice asking for that stupid chair to sit it. Jinsoul doesn’t know if she’d go get it like she usually does...she likes looking at Sooyoung at this angle.

Sooyoung’s too tall in those heels and she looks so hot when she wears her more professional outfits. Jinsoul tried to not look earlier, but as soon as Sooyoung bent over the game she couldn’t help but wish that blazer was a little smaller so she could see, “uh hello? If you’re just messing with me…”

“I’m not. It’s...can we do it outside?” Sooyoung raises a brow suggestively and Jinsoul can feel the heat swell in her, “not like that ert! I meant the talk!” Sooyoung throws her head back in a laugh and Jinsoul swears she sees that smile sparkle. 

Sooyoung her lips and jerks her head towards the door, “come on let's go.” Jinsoul takes a deep breath in relief as Sooyoung starts to gather her things. It isn’t a moment later until Sooyoung’s offering her an elbow to grab onto. Jinsoul does after shoving her bag onto her shoulder. 

Wrapping both hands around Sooyoung’s arm she hides her face when the older girl asks, “so this is the talk now?” Sooyoung sounds almost worried, but the confidence laced into the tone makes it hard to tell. Jinsoul only nods and avoids looking Sooyoung in the eye.

This is it, this is what’s been bothering her lately. She’ll finally be able to clear it all up. This could either go bad or good...either way, she won’t have to worry about it anymore. Sooyoung flips the umbrella above them, Jinsoul can hear the drops above them hit the fabric. Sooyoung leads them to the alleyway closest to the arcade. 

Jinsoul has to shuffle close to Sooyoung’s front if she doesn’t get wet. Even though she really appreciates Sooyoung’s hold on her waist she gently shoves it off to focus. She doesn’t miss the way Sooyoung frowns, nor the way her face pales. “Is this about the little moment we had?”

Crossing her arms, she puts some distance between them, thankfully the umbrella is big enough. “Yes.” When she says that one little word, it’s like miles are put between them. Jinsoul wants to start racing her way back to Sooyoung in an instant. 

Sooyoung’s racing too, “How are you feeling about it?” Glancing up at Sooyoung, above the frame of her glasses she starts to feel bad about the expression on the older girl’s face. Sooyoung looks sick, afraid of what she’s gonna say. But the thing is, Jinsoul feels amazing right now.

That kiss was the best of her life. She couldn’t feel any better about it. But she knows what would come with more kisses like that. If they continued to get closer and closer. Sooyoung would eventually put the wedge between them.

So Jinsoul tells the truth, or what she’s trying to make the truth, “I think we got it out of our systems.” That’s what she intentionally thought. That if she kissed Sooyoung long enough, this fuzzy feeling inside would just go away. No that feeling became more intense, almost like a flutter now. Jinsoul likes it way more...she only wants it to become stronger. 

“Oh?” Sooyoung says surprised and she doesn’t mind when the older girl steps closer to her. 

Jinsoul chews on her lip for a second, “I mean isn’t it weird? The um-.” 

“Chemistry we have?” Jinsoul looks back up when she’s interrupted. It’s undeniable, this connection. It’s been there since Jinsoul first locked eyes with Sooyoung on that subway. It was a dull spark, turning into a full burning flame. Sooyoung was like her gasoline, fueling her to burn hotter...faster. Bigger than what she could control. 

Nodding she agrees, “Yeah, that.” She’s been thinking about it ever since. How it’s always been there, but Jinsoul is a master at pretending it’s not. However, Sooyoung’s just as good at pulling the truth from her.  

“You don’t like it?” Sooyoung asks.

Jinsoul melts at the tiny voice Sooyoung uses, so she quickly reaches forward to grab onto the older girl’s hips to reassure her, “No! Babe of course it’s not that...it’s just wow Sooyoung I can’t stop thinking about it, I can’t stop thinking about you. ” Sooyoung’s pretty stone-faced at the moment, but the biggest smile starts to stretch on her face after Jinsoul’s little outburst. “Um pretend I didn’t say that.” Jinsoul grumbles out. 

“I can pretend, but I won’t forget.” The blonde wants to slap herself, she can’t just ask Sooyoung to pretend with her. So she has to take whatever this is between them, and not allow it to exist anymore. So they don’t have to fake it anymore. 

Jinsoul takes a deep breath before she admits what’s on her mind. “I don’t regret it. What we did...it wasn’t a mistake to me. B-but I don’t think it would be a good idea to do it again.” She’s never rambled like this before. Jinsoul sounds like a freaking loser but god she gets so twisted up when she thinks about that kiss, she couldn’t even get it straight talking about it. 

“I agree.”

Jinsoul had her eyes closed for a  you , or anything in that negative form. Not Sooyoung actually going along with her. “You do?” Her eyes are now wide open, staring into Sooyoung’s filled with nothing but honesty. 

“Yeah, I really like having you as a friend Jinsoul and I get pretty dodgy when things get...complicated, and they definitely would if we continued to um, do what we did the other night.” Jinsoul gets a little dumbstruck at how truthful Sooyoung is being with her. The older girl was actually warning her. Sooyoung actually cared about her enough to not want to play her like she has countless other girls. 

It hurts still, the fact that Sooyoung doesn’t like her enough to break her habit of playing hearts. But at least she likes her enough to not even try. Jinsoul can respect that. A lot, she thinks she can trust Sooyoung now. The older girl takes a deep breath before breaking their gaze, she stares out onto the street, a faint blush rising on her cheeks. “Even though what we did was really nice and I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to keep doing it.” 

Jinsoul can feel herself going weak, she’s too focused on how Sooyoung bit her lip after saying that. She remembers biting it herself. She wants to scream, I want to keep kissing you too.  

I want to keep kissing you forever maybe.  

“I’d rather not lose you. I like you too much. I think it would best if we didn’t act on our urges.” Sooyoung finishes with a long sigh, it sounds so disappointed but controlled. Jinsoul knows exactly how Sooyoung feels. It’s frustrating they can’t do this. There’s too much conflict, Jinsoul’s too stubborn and Sooyoung’s not grounded enough. No matter how heavy Jinsoul of an anchor could become, she could never settle a ship like Sooyoung. 

It breaks her heart just a little bit. “Right, urges.” Jinsoul’s urge to love Sooyoung, it’s her biggest enemy right now. Because Sooyoung doesn’t want to be loved, she doesn’t want to belong to anyone. No matter how comfortable Jinsoul will try to make her, there will still be that part of Sooyoung that doesn’t want to be confined to one place. Sooyoung doesn’t want to settle or open up. Jinsoul has to respect that, so she’ll sacrifice her feelings early on. 

Sooyoung smirks after the tense moment, “I know I’m hard to resist, but I’ll keep my hands to myself too.” Jinsoul lets herself relax too, after all, they have all the time in the world now. Maybe someday, Sooyoung will be tired enough to fall into her.  For now though. Jinsoul will settle for this. 

“Jerk, you’re not that tempting.” Jinsoul shoves one of Sooyoung’s shoulders but the older girl only uses it as an opportunity to drag her closer. Jinsoul giggles at Sooyoung’s breath on her ear, she tries to turn away but Sooyoung’s lips only follow her. 

Sooyoung blows hot air onto the curve of her jawline, “Are you sure about that?” She isn’t, Jinsoul’s not so sure how long she 

“Stop it…” Jinsoul squirms in the hold Sooyoung has on her, because she likes it so much. It takes her on edge and she finally realizes why she’s so frustrated. Sooyoung’s bad and Jinsoul wants to see how bad she can be. She’s always liked it when someone doesn’t treat her so delicately. Sooyoung knows her too well, she knows when to be gentle and when to test her sanity. 

Jinsoul’s about to go back on her word...maybe one more time. Just for good measures. She can smear that lip gloss that Sooyoung has on. “Sorry I know I shouldn’t tease you, might jump my bones again.” Sooyoung leans away, Jinsoul isn’t relieved at all. She’s worked up and it’s all this girl’s fault.

“Sooyoung!” Jinsoul screams as Sooyoung laughs it off. It shouldn’t be this easy, but for some reason Jinsoul glad it was. She didn’t have to get hurt and neither did Sooyoung this way. She thinks this is what they both wanted...right?

Jinsoul waits with a grimace on her face, Sooyoung is wiping the tears from her face. Her cheeks are slightly red. The older girl’s eyes flutter. “So, friends?” 

It takes a moment for Jinsoul to answer, “friends, totally just friends.” Sooyoung raises a brow but doesn’t question it. Jinsoul’s left to stare. 

She’s left to stare at what she has to let go. The smile, the soft gaze in Sooyoung’s eyes that’s starting to form. The undeniable feeling that she shouldn’t give up on this. But she does, because now they’re just friends. She’s just friends with the girl of her dreams 

Jinsoul sighs and she hears the rain pour harder onto the umbrella. It should have cleared up by now.

Just like the storm in her heart.

~~~~

hmmmm I have a hate love relationship with this chapter! But I hope everyone enjoys it! I really appreciate you guys you all seemed to like last chapter...I wonder why 

As always, lots of love <3

I might not have the next chapter ready by next week, I’m starting to work a lot more! But I’ll try my best!

Spoiler: does yvesoul go back on their word of being just friends?