Retucking her sweater for the fifth time, Jinsoul starts to throw a tantrum when it doesn’t hang around her belt right. Xiaojun closes his magazine, “ will you shut up it looks fine.” Jinsoul stops hopping up and down on her tiptoes like a child and turns to the boy. He smiles with the corner of his mouth while turning the magazine where the page extends. 

Jinsoul huffs and pushes the boy’s feet off the counter where he had laid them. “You don’t understand, it has to be tucked just right so it doesn’t make me look fat or too tight and it has to be perfect, like I did it first try.” Xiaojun scrunches his nose up and Jinsoul takes it the entirely wrong way.

Yoojung finishes writing a sentence in her notebook before glancing at the two whining at each other. Jinsoul turns to her and holds her arms out with the most serious pout on her face, “What do you think babe?” Yoojung tilts her head while analyzing the sweater, it was sea green and purple in various shapes. There was even some blood orange, probably the worst colors all mixed in an itchy material. 

“It’s ugly Soul.”

The blonde deflates, “really?”

Yoojung and Xiaojun nod in unison, while Jinsoul pouts up even more. “But it’s cashmere.”

“What does that even mean?” Yoojung asks and Jinsoul looks down at her like she’s grown a third eye.

The blonde shakes her head while Xiaojun explains to the clueless girl, “only the most expensive material, jeez Yoojung gets with the program.” The younger girl glares at Xiaojun since he was clearly making fun of their friend who looked like a kicked puppy at the moment. “But you wouldn’t know since you’re always wearing Doyeon’s clothes and we know she likes to be humble.”

Yoojung blushes at Xiaojun’s remark and kicks him in the shin while Jinsoul covers while laughing. The boy cusses her while rubbing the wounded spot and Jinsoul steps closer to wrap her arms around the smaller girl’s shoulders, “its’ true, but it’s fine because you look so cute in her clothes, they swallow you whole.” Yoojung tries to glare at Jinsoul but fails when she meets the blonde’s eyes.

Nobody knew how overwhelmingly cute Jinsoul could be when she wasn’t putting up her front. That’s how Yoojung became friends with the blonde in the first place. She didn’t have the best first impression of Jinsoul. Yoojung thought the girl was shallow and obnoxiously rude. And Jinsoul was that on the outside. All she cared about was how she looked, and was a to anyone who didn’t give her positive attention and even more of one when they gave her no attention at all. 

Jinsoul only liked materialistic things and dated any boy that said she was beautiful. But that was all before she really started to pay attention to the girl. Yoojung had noticed how much of a loner Jinsoul was, if she didn’t have some dude stuck on her heels the only other person Yoojung had seen Jinsoul with was an equally y boy. Later she had learned that his name was Xiaojun.

Nobody ever liked the pair, Yoojung still can’t stand Xiaojun sometimes...but she loved Jinsoul to death (Xiaojun too in some moments). Because no one really knew what was underneath all that sticky poison that she protected herself with. Yoojung smiles up at Jinsoul and the blonde’s eyes sparkle. “It may be an ugly sweater, but you’re the only one that can pull it off.” Jinsoul squeals and squishes Yoojung’s face against her chest. Even if it’s a bit itchy, Yoojung wastes no time hugging her best friend back.

Because she really was her best friend. Yoojung had met Jinsoul her first day of college and the girl was cussing out some poor guy who had spilled coffee all over her. From that day, Yoojung had casually kept up with the blonde, since her name seemed to slip into everyone’s mouth from time to time. She was popular on campus in the way everyone knew her, but not everyone liked her. 

Yoojung was the one in between. Because one day she had seen Jinsoul rubbing on a girl’s head while she was distressed. Yoojung never saw such an expression like the one on Jinsoul’s face. It didn’t make much sense.

Later Yoojung had talked to that same girl. Apparently Jinsoul wasn’t the devil everyone thought she was. 

That’s when Yoojung had noticed that Jinsoul never deliberately bullied nor judged anyone. Jinsoul would talk to almost anyone, complimenting their style to hanging out with them once or twice. The only group she saw Jinsoul with consistently was the group that played D&D in the library, Hyunmin, the dude with the hi-top fade, Haseul and Hyelin the girl’s with matching pixie cuts and Xiaojun who seemed to be good friends with all of them as well.

But she didn’t really meet Jinsoul until that day. When she and Doyeon had a terrible fight the morning before over something stupid. Yoojung found herself crying in the bathroom when Jinsoul had walked in.

The blonde had tilted her head, knocking on the stall door, “ what’s wrong babe ?” Yoojung found it odd that a stranger had called her babe, even weirder when it was Jung Jinsoul. 

Jinsoul sat with her inside that stall and rubbed her head while she cried, mumbling out comforting words. Yoojung felt cared for...and that’s exactly what Jinsoul did. They skipped their classes and the blonde had taken her shopping. Spending some poor soul’s money that Jinsoul had gotten her hands on. Jinsoul had bought her an entire wardrobe and Yoojung didn’t like most of the clothes, but felt nice when Jinsoul said she was cute.

Later they had gone for lunch and karaoke, Yoojung had sung her heart out with the thought of Doyeon. That night Yoojung found herself in Jinsoul’s pajamas, getting her toes painted by the blonde on the floor beneath her. The girl had then peeked up and said something that’s stuck to her all their friendship.

Girls shouldn’t cry alone. 

Jinsoul never asked her why she was so upset that day. Only made sure the mood didn’t follow into the next day. It was the most thoughtful gesture and Yoojung had never been so thankful. 

She was sweet, and if you caught it, Jinsoul could be caring. Only to the people who she thought deserved it though.

Later, what Yoojung discovered about her new best friend had broken her heart. When Jinsoul was younger she wasn’t the most fortunate and was bullied for her looks and clothes. The blonde seemed to be over it. But Yoojung noticed the small flinches whenever someone would bite back where it hurt Jinsoul. The blonde still felt like she was an outcast sometimes. 

Yoojung didn’t know the extremity of it. But Jinsoul had old pictures of herself where she wore a black eye and a busted lip as an accessory. Apparently she never took anyone’s words lightly and the people who made fun of her usually didn’t get away with her.

She only had become what she fought all her life only without the rotten core. Jinsoul was beautiful, but insecure. That’s why Jinsoul religiously kept up with trends and always made sure her face didn’t have a flaw.

Yoojung was one of the few that knew that.

Jinsoul turns to Xiaojun, Yoojung’s face still buried in her chest. “See it’s not the clothes, it's the model.” Yoojung waves her hands around not being able to breathe with the blonde’s hands pressing on her like that.

“Um Soul, she’s dying.”

The blonde looks down at the girl and releases her, Yoojung takes a few seconds to start breathing properly again. Although Jinsoul was a really good friend, she was also very clingy...which could prove to be a problem sometimes.

Yooyoung glares at Xiaojun who thinks it’s the funniest thing in the world when Jinsoul starts to pet on her again like a baby. Something saves Yoojung however, because Jinsoul gasps and dips below the counter.

Both of them whip their gaze over near Q*bert. Sure enough it was Sooyoung. 

“Ugh Jinsoul you can’t keep avoiding her like this!” 

It’s been like this for a few weeks. Instead of bombarding the girl, Jinsoul hid from her. Yoojung nor Xiaojun knew why. The blonde would blush deeply and hide away and close her eyes until Sooyoung would leave. Twisting whatever fabric she wore that day between her knuckles, trying to calm the rapid beating of her heart.

Sooyoung’s name couldn’t be kept out of Jinsoul's mouth, but now the girl wouldn’t dare to say anything, only shaking her head shyly when she’s asked about Sooyoung. Yoojung would like to say Jinsoul regrets her actions from before and she knows she’s right. But it goes a lot deeper than that.

Jinsoul’s obsession started with wanting to be better than Sooyoung. Everyone of the blonde’s obsession starts that way, but they quickly dissipate when the person disappoints her in some way or form. Sooyoung was the opposite of disappointing, she was really nice and that tugged on the blonde’s heartstrings. How after showing her worst side, Sooyoung still managed to find the good in her. 

It started with Jinsoul wanting to be Sooyoung. She was pretty, laid back and had great style (Jinsoul wouldn’t admit she was funny too). But now Jinsoul wanted Sooyoung...as a friend.

She doesn’t know what it is about Sooyoung, but it’s like getting halfway through the ice cream cone and then dropping it. Moments with the older girl are so satisfying for Jinsoul to where she wants more and more, but they’re fleeting and cut too short. Like having candy jerked from her hand. Jinsoul doesn’t want to mess it up even though she knows Sooyoung can handle her attitude, (that’s what makes her so attractive), Jinsoul’s afraid one day it’ll bear too much. 

And Sooyoung will leave her in the dust like she already has twice before.

The third time being the last. Like dropping the cone as soon as it’s handed to her.

“Why are you hiding again?” Xiaojun asks her.

The blonde twiddles her fingers together, it’s a side neither of them have seen from Jinsoul. “I don’t want to bother her.”

“Bother her? Soul you was trying to kill her weeks ago.”

Groaning, Jinsoul admits, “she makes me nervous okay!” Jinsoul looks up at the two that have shocked expressions, “she’s so...she makes me feel weird. No matter how much of a I am she’s still nice to me and- UGH I DON’T KNOW!” Jinsoul doesn’t know how to explain it and buries her head in her hands. 

“But I thought you hated her.”

“I do! She’s super ing annoying like have you looked at her.” The two glance at each other then back at Jinsoul. “I-I like playing with her though.” The blonde meekly admits. 

Yoojung blinks, Jinsoul has a crush on Sooyoung. That was the only possible explanation but she couldn’t exactly tell Jinsoul that. Yoojung used to feel the same way about Doyeon, but now she couldn’t stand sleeping separate from her. 

It was clear that something was there for Sooyoung as well. “Maybe...go play with her then.” Xiaojun says it like the most obvious thing in the world, but he doesn’t understand. 

Jinsoul raises up to peek over the counter. Her insides go all mushy when she glances at Sooyoung. Her blood starts to boil, even Sooyoung’s side profile pissed Jinsoul off. Why was everything so perfect about her? Even the way she chewed gum was flawless. Jinsoul’s nail chips into the counter, what was it about Ha Sooyoung that was so mesmerizing and infuriating at the same time?

“What if she doesn’t want to?”

Yoojung shrugs, any other time she’d tell Jinsoul that Sooyoung definitely wanted to play. The older girl would come in here looking everywhere for Jinsoul and pout up when she couldn’t be found, only for the girl to be hiding somewhere. It was almost pitiful watching Sooyoung being avoided by Jinsoul, you could see the disappointment wash over the girl’s features and how sadly she’d play the game knowing Jinsoul wasn’t around.

Then there was that time Jinsoul didn’t hide and Sooyoung did everything a bit extra...it was interesting to watch how hard the girl was trying to impress Jinsoul. 

Today was very different and Yoojung doesn’t know if it’s a good time to send Jinsoul out there. Sooyoung had her fist clenched smashing down on the buttons. Her jaw was clenched tightly and she had on some shriveled work clothes on. It looked like Sooyoung had been thrown in a tornado...and the girl wasn’t very happy about it.

“Why should you care? If she doesn’t want to play, make her. her opinion this is your arcade.” Xiaojun encourages her and Jinsoul nods.

“Yeah it!” Jinsoul darts off and Yoojung couldn’t be more scared. Xiaojun couldn’t read a room for his life and Jinsoul doesn’t know when and when not to take advice. All she could do was drag her hands down her face.

Jinsoul’s heart beats rapidly as she makes her way up to Sooyoung, who was slamming her hand down on the buttons while loosening her tie. Jinsoul slows down a bit, suddenly bombarded by nerves. Something was off, Sooyoung wasn’t in her chair and her face was tense like she was angry.

“Hey-”

“ off.”

The blonde is taken back by the cold glare she receives. All thoughts escape her mind as her heart freezes at those dark eyes boring holes into her. Sooyoung looked like she hated her. Jinsoul lets her eyes travel down since it made her sick keeping eye contact. The girl’s hands were shaking over the buttons and Jinsoul could hear the grind of teeth.

Swallowing her pride she quietly asks, “just wanted to see if you wanted to play.”

Sooyoung is quick to shoot her down, “and let you at me for every little thing I do? No thanks.” Jinsoul lets her head drop, she deserved that one. “Listen, I’m not in the mood today. Just do yourself a favor and leave me the hell alone.”

The girl’s voice shakes and she turns her gaze back to the screen, Sooyoung didn’t like the way Jinsoul flinched at her words. 

“Um bad day?”

Sooyoung scoffs at the tiny but slow voice, “closer to a nightmare.” 

“I’m sor-”

“What part of leave me the alone don’t you understand?” Sooyoung’s voice is straight laced without an inch of emotion in them. It scares Jinsoul, how much this was hurting her. “You seem smart Jinsoul, so don’t act dumb.” 

Jinsoul glances up at the girl who glances at her from the side. Those eyes are sharp by the way they’re narrowed and Jinsoul backs away slightly, feeling uneasy from being so close to Sooyoung. Jinsoul was used to being treated like this, like an annoying child. But she didn’t expect it from the person that’s been doing the opposite. Jinsoul can’t be disappointed though, she always prepares her for the expected. But damn, was she really hoping she wasn’t going to have to do this with Sooyoung.

The blonde leaves her behind. 

“What happened?” Yoojung asks her.

Jinsoul blinks, “she told me to off.”

“Ooh ouch.” Xiaojun says and Yoojung elbows him in the stomach for being insensitive. Yoojung felt terrible. Jinsoul looked like she saw a ghost. No one has ever had an effect on Jinsoul like this. 

“Maybe get her something from Ravi. She seems to be in a bad mood, don’t take it personally Soul.” Yoojung reassures her and Jinsoul nods, feeling a bit better. Jinsoul walks off and chews on her lip, when she says Sooyoung makes her feel weird, what she meant to say is that the girl makes her feel good. It’s an unfamiliar sensation and Jinsoul’s not for sure what it is. But it was the total opposite of what she was feeling now, which was close to heartbreak.

She wants to do the same for Sooyoung. Jinsoul only hopes the girl enjoys her presence, but that doesn’t seem likely at the moment. 

Jinsoul stands in front of her enemy/infatuation once again, milkshake in hand. Sooyoung did say she had a bad day, so maybe Jinsoul had just walked into the fire. Maybe she was the outlet, still the thought didn’t help with the tightness in her chest. Jinsoul keeps telling herself...she has nothing to do with Sooyoung’s mood.

She’s not the problem is she?

The arcade is not crowded and it’s cloudy outside, causing a dull and depressing light to follow through like a trail into and between the rows of games. Most of the sound comes from the static speakers above, playing out the chords to Pat Benatar’s single Heartbreaker . The various clicks and noises of games ring annoyingly, and it starts to stick to Jinsoul’s anxiousness. 

Sooyoung groans when Jinsoul continues to stand awkwardly beside her, raising up to face her. “I thought I told you-”

Before she can say anything else however, a styrofoam cup is shoved into her hand. Relief flooded through Jinsoul’s body when she watches Sooyoung’s face soften in the slightest bit. “Oh thank you.” Sooyoung mumbles out and almost snaps out of the mood she was in. “What is it?”

“A milkshake.” Jinsoul tells her and Sooyoung glances at her. Sooyoung starts to squeeze the cup in her hand at Jinsoul’s expression, making the blonde take a step back, cowering under Sooyoung’s stare. Jinsoul’s eyes are all teary and she has a pout present on her lips. Sooyoung’s eye twitches when eyebrows upturn, turning the blonde into something pitiful.

Sooyoung fights the guilt starting to swirl in her tummy. She needed to start standing up to people and letting them walk all over her. Who would be better to start with other than the girl that she has a weakness to. If anyone else was a to her like Jinsoul was, Sooyoung would never bother talking to them again. 

But something about Jinsoul’s eyes tells Sooyoung that she’s not really like that.

Just like she’s really not an .

Glaring down at Jinsoul she calmly states, “I told you. I don’t want to talk to anyone right now.” Taking a deep breath Sooyoung makes her voice lower. “Especially not you.” 

Jinsoul doesn’t let herself waver, she doesn’t want to let Sooyoung know her words had a weight to them. Sooyoung’s eyes darken behind her glasses and Jinsoul stares into them. She hates when people treat her like an empty object. That she’s just a shell of a girl that can handle remarks like that. With one look from Sooyoung, it takes her back to who she used to be.

Weak.

Sooyoung glances at the cup, “I’m lactose intolerant.” 

Jinsoul doesn’t have it in her to throw back a remark. Any other person Jinsoul would be telling the she hopes they themselves to death. But, Jinsoul couldn’t, even though she hated Sooyoung’s guts at the moment.

So she lets Sooyoung walk out the entrance, slamming the cup Jinsoul paid more than a dollar into the trash. Jinsoul related to that cup at that moment. Disregarded and forgotten. 

Looking out the entrance Jinsoul hums before starting a game up on Q*bert.

~~~~

Later Jinsoul sniffles in her bed. The only light that enables her to stare at the crumbled yet trembling photo of Sooyoung in her hand is the dull lamp on her nightstand. It needs it’s lightbulb changed, just like Jinsoul needed her heart replaced. She can’t believe she let that speak to her like that earlier and Jinsoul thought she was the problem.

So much for biting her tongue and trying to change for Sooyoung.

Sooyoung got under her skin even when Jinsoul promised she’d never let it happen. “Why are you so mean?” She asks photo Sooyoung, who is smiling at her. Jinsoul whines and crushes the paper in her hand and throws it across the room. Thrashing her limbs against the mattress she tries to get Sooyoung out of her head.

Jinsoul was back at square one. After the last time she saw Sooyoung, and after their exchange on the streets. Jinsoul had a change of heart. She was going to give Sooyoung a chance. She had thrown all her case files out the window, the verdict being that Sooyoung wasn’t guilty of being an . Because how could someone that sweet be guilty.  

But now she was back, digging through the dirt trying to find them damn files. 

“Just simply forget about her.” The blonde says to herself.

Jinsoul closes her eyes and the first thing that pops in her mind is Sooyoung’s smile. Raising up she screams. What the hell was this? Possession? Was this another trick of Sooyoung’s? There was nothing obsession worthy about Sooyoung.

But Jinsoul she’s sooo cool. The figurative devil on her left shoulder tells her. It’s getting weird! The angel on her right shoulder argues. 

On the wall to the right, someone thumps their fist against it. “ ZIP IT FISH LIPS! ” Jinsoul rolls her eyes at her sister’s voice and mocks her before flopping back down on her bed. Sooyoung wasn’t normal, at least not to Jinsoul. Usually she didn’t tolerate bull and Sooyoung was full of it.

But being around her was addicting. 

Having Sooyoung’s attention was like a drug and Jinsoul couldn’t get enough. It’s never been like this with anyone else. If someone didn’t give her what she wanted then Jinsoul moved on in a snap of a finger. But it was like Jinsoul was stuck in quicksand and the harder she tried to fight it the more she got in.

The devil on her shoulders speaks again, she’s super sweet in secret and you had fun with her...what could go wrong? 

But the angel rebuttals, you mean two faced? Everything could go wrong! 

You could seriously get hurt! 

Jinsoul grabs her head groaning, “shut the hell up you two!”

The two on her shoulder disappear and she looks up at her Janet Jackson poster on the ceiling. “Janet what should I do?” The poster smiles at her. So she turns to the one on her wall, placing her hand on it. “Whitney? What do you think?” Same answer...Jinsoul looks at her stuffed animals. They all give her silence. “What about you Joan?” Joan Jett glares at her so Jinsoul apologizes and turns into her pillows.

Miss angel was right...what could go wrong. Will go wrong. The last time Jinsoul was this obsessed, it didn’t end well.

Jinsoul zones out in the rhythm of her lava lamps. The small bubbles flowing up and down, illuminating the wall behind in various purples. Jinsoul shuffles off her pajama bottoms and crawls under her pink sheets. 

Sooyoung was like ice, and Jinsoul was fire. They were bad for each other. No matter how drawn Jinsoul was to her...and how sincere Sooyoung seemed. Jinsoul would end up melting Sooyoung and her flame would dull and wither out.

Jinsoul needed to get rid of her infatuation.

For the benefit for the both of them.

~~~~

After her fifth shot of the night, Doyeon craves a cigar. Heading outside she escapes the heated crowd inside and ignores the longing stares she receives. All she had done was sat at the bar for about an hour but her skin was coated in sweat. The small club had gotten hot from the constant grind of bodies. 

Outside, the cool air nips her skin that glows from the flickering sign above. Doyeon normally didn’t find herself at these clubs. Where some came to feel safe to be themselves or find someone that would spend the night with them. Doyeon didn’t come for no particular reason. She just needed to get out.

Yoojung didn’t come because she doesn’t like these places, no matter how many times Doyeon had begged her to come. But her girlfriend didn’t mind, because Doyeon always comes home early, still smelling like Yoojung’s perfume. Doyeon was trusted, because she’s never done anything to hurt Yoojung.

Stumbling to the alleyway, Doyeon guesses she should head back soon since she was tipsy. Leaning back onto the cool brick wall she ignores the two women kissing heavily beside her. If she gave into any of the longing glances inside, that could be her. But the only thing Doyeon could think of is the soft gaze Yoojung gives her in the morning.

She wouldn’t give that up for anything.

Doyeon smiles thinking of Yoojung and her cheesy jokes. She couldn’t wait to get home. Hearing a muffled moan beside her she can’t help but peak over. The girl against the wall is blonde (the wave of her hair reminds Doyeon of Jinsoul’s) and her leg is wrapped around the other girl’s hip that had her pinned to the wall. Non-blondie is getting funky with the other girl’s neck and Doyeon raises a brow at a hand trailing up a bare thigh. 

She couldn't see the kisser’s face, but she was making blondie breathless. Doyeon can’t help but snort at the traveling hands on this girl’s body. Someone must have been . Doyeon listens to the smacking noises of lips and rolls her eyes.

The hand on the thigh slips underneath the blonde girl’s skirt and squeezes. So Doyeon clears to make sure they know she’s there before anything gets too heated. Blondie squeaks and looks over at Doyeon who only smirks and nods in return. The girl puts her leg down and tugs at her skirt while non-blondie groans at the interruption. Hands are pushed away and a husky voice mumbles something incoherent. The clicks of heels become a distant thought.

Doyeon squints in the darkness and let’s her jaw drop in surprise when she sees it’s Sooyoung who’s now leaning her head back onto the wall. There’s lipstick marks littered across the girl’s chest and neck and her hair sticks around the edges of her face.

“Wanna cigarette?” 

Sooyoung glances at her, “sure. Thanks.” Doyeon notices how Sooyoung’s eyes are much more dangerous without those glasses on. The girl was wearing tight leather pants and a large mesh top. It barely hung off of her allowing skin covered in glitter to peek out into the moonlight. Around a pretty gold chain sits. The various hoops ranging in size on her ears matched, along with the pinky and thumb rings. 

The girl leans over and lets Doyeon slip the cigarette into . She lights it for Sooyoung holding her hand out to block the wind and brings the flame close. Sooyoung takes a long drag before leaning back. “Didn’t mean to interrupt by the way...seemed like things were getting a bit tense.” Doyeon tells her and watches as Sooyoung's lips pull into a smirk.

“It’s aight, she wasn’t that good of a kisser anyways.”

Doyeon laughs along with Sooyoung. There was something smoothing about her voice. It was more relaxing than the cigar. “Didn’t know you still got around like this Sooyoung.”

The girl glances at her through her eyelashes, “thought you had a girl?”

“I do, I didn’t come here to a stranger. Just wanted to step out for a bit.” Doyeon defends herself. She liked coming here, she liked the atmosphere and the conversation. 

Sooyoung flicks the cigarette away even though she wasn’t finished with it. The girl leans against the brick and kicks a leg up to rest against it. “You think I’m a bad person Doyeon? Because I strangers?” There’s a challenge in that question and Doyeon isn’t for sure how to take the cold tone. But then Sooyoung laughs and takes some of the weight off her words, “ahh I just don’t get relationships is all. Too much to worry about. Too much to bother with.” 

It wasn’t like Sooyoung liked coming here, crowds made her nervous and people paid too much attention to her. Sooyoung hated that attention, but hated sleeping alone more. 

Doyeon looks down at Sooyoung through the dull lights of the buzzing street lamps. The girl’s fingers snap in a rhythm as she stares straight back into Doyeon’s eyes. Doyeon thinks Sooyoung is a coward, but she knows if she wasn’t so in love with Yoojung she’d have girls pressed against walls just as Sooyoung had.

It was worth it with Yoojung.

All that fear and what if’s.

“It’s not too much when you love someone.” Doyeon tells her and Sooyoung starts to glare. There’s a tension inside Sooyoung that’s frightening, that expression on her face could scare anyone away. But Doyeon wasn’t just anyone. Sooyoung couldn’t run her off with a weak gaze like that. It wasn’t that Sooyoung didn’t like Doyeon, the girl always called her out on things she hated to think about.

Doyeon takes a long drag of her cigar before continuing, “I don’t mind risking everything if I get to spend my life with her.”

Sooyoung breaks the lock between their eyes and stares up at the sky, “has anyone ever told you how corny you are?” Doyeon smirks.

“Plenty of times, but my girl likes it.”

There’s a small noise that comes out of Sooyoung’s throat, “ugh gross.” The girl didn’t believe in love. “To each their own I guess.”

Doyeon presses the bud of her cigar into the brick, “you’ll know what I mean when you find someone Sooyoung.” Doyeon says, and hates when Jinsoul pops into her mind. Because she knows Sooyoung would destroy a girl like her. “But I don’t know, I can see ya chasing tail old as .” 

The girl laughs, “maybe so.” 

Sooyoung cracks a smile and starts to walk past her, drawn to the throb of music inside. She lays a hand on the taller girl’s shoulder, “see you around Doyeon.” Doyeon nods and watches Sooyoung go, she slips off the side of the building and makes her way home.

Inside, Sooyoung pushes away the girl from before. Her features weren’t right, her touch wasn’t right. She pays for the tab and tells the girl off. On the subway she clings to the handles and stares into the distance beside her.

The memory of a pretty blonde fades into the worn down seats and rhythm of clinks.

~~~~

Reapplying her lip gloss in the mirror Jinsoul smiles at the girl beside her. The girl flinches at first since she was caught staring, but relaxes when Jinsoul winks. “Cute skirt babe.” Jinsoul compliments as she gets her things ready.

“T-thank you.” The girl shyly replies as Jinsoul walks past her.

In the hall, Jinsoul walks with confidence. Her heels click on the marble floors and she adjusts her matching blazer and skirt. Today Jinsoul had to look her best and be her best. She was a business major and one of the top in the class despite being shadowed by men. In five minutes, she was going to have to present a figurative sales pitch to most of her peers and the head of the business department. 

In no way she was nervous, because she knew she was gonna grab this presentation by the . 

Strutting inside, the class with only one girl besides her. Jinsoul sits down her bag on the table nearby and waves at her. Jungeun was a sweet girl, but she didn’t have the guts to stand up for herself. Jinsoul has been in trouble a lot for taking up for the girl. She hated seeing how Jungeun’s shoulders slumped when one of the boys in class told her she’d never be nothing more than a secretary. 

She had so much potential, but Jungeun was too meek to commit to it. 

Jinsoul tried her hardest to encourage her. Telling Jungeun to believe in herself and nobody else. It wasn’t enough, instead Jinsoul started to try and set an example so Jungeun would find the confidence. Turning to the man behind the desk she tells him she’s ready. 

The pitch she gives is her best yet, there isn’t any hole and she doesn’t stutter. Jinsoul’s impressed by her own persuasion. After she finishes, she takes a deep breath. A smile stretches on her face, Jinsoul’s never been so proud of herself. Clearing she turns to the class and Jungeun claps for her from the back. 

No one else does, well except this one guy who starts out clapping just as hard as Jungeun but he receives glares causing him to shyly put down his hands.

Jinsoul’s smile falls as quick as it was formed and she swallows the sick tension that starts to build. Most of the boys are laughing at her, but it’s mostly Jay Park. Jinsoul’s real worst enemy. He’s been the bane of Jinsoul’s existence ever since she came to this campus. The only reason he was an to her was because Jinsoul turned him down.

She told him she doesn’t date anyone under six foot, especially when they look like a troll.

Park didn’t take it so well. Nor when Jinsoul made fun of his tight pants and bad haircut. Or his squeaky voice and non-existent appeal. Now Jinsoul had a whole crowd of that type of man against her. A man-hater is what they called her. She took it as a compliment. Because really if she could, she’d get rid of every man in the world. Except Xiaojun and Hyunmin, they could stay. But anyone else…

The reason Jinsoul wanted to be so successful is so that she wouldn’t need a man to buy her clothes. That she’d have enough money to never have to hire one in her company. Jinsoul had a dream and it was narrow, but she really believed she could make it happen. 

“Something funny?”

Park keeps laughing and shakes his head, “no it’s just you look ing ridculous.” Jinsoul raises a brow and looks down at her clothes, she thought she looked hot. “You really think anyone is ever going to take you seriously when you look like that?” He asks her with a mocking tone and glances at his buddies who are nervously laughing.

“You think anyone is ever going to take you serious when you sound like Mickey Mouse Jr.?” Jinsoul says and some of the boys stop laughing, turning to Park who is starting to force himself to laugh, only to swallow nervously when Jinsoul continues to glare at him.

Jinsoul sighs, “you’re prematurely balding. You’ll be lucky to lose your ity by the time you're forty.” Park stops laughing and turns to her, “the only woman who will ever love you is your mother and even then she wishes she would have swallowed you.” Park starts to shake in his seat like an angry little dog and Jinsoul had the leash pulled tight, she starts to walk closer, “and the only goddamn reason you are sitting in that seat.” Jinsoul slams her hands onto the desk, making the boy flinch back in fear.

“Is because your daddy had to pay every head on this campus just for you to become an overwhelmingly disappointing student.” Jinsoul smirks, “do I have to remind you how you failed this class before and still managed to forget half your pitches….”

Park stands and starts to ramble, “at-at least I-I don’t have to Dr. Shim’s to get a good grade.” Jinsoul’s jaw drops and Dr. Shim stands up slamming his hand on the table.

“That is enough! I’m not going to tolerate this in my class!” Everyone hangs their heads low except Jinsoul. “There’s nothing left to do today, so everyone can go.” Jinsoul stands completely still as everyone packs up to leave. “Ms. Jung, I’d like to speak to you.”

Jinsoul walks over to the professor, her good mood ruined. Dr. Shim takes a deep breath, “I know you like to embarrass Park, but you’re gonna have to keep it inside. The only way you’ll become successful is learn to be passive no matter how annoying it gets.” Jinsoul refuses to look at him, he’s always taking up for everyone but her. Or she should say the guys in the class. “I know how hard it is when everyone treats you like a laughingstock even though you're the best student. I understand your anger but you can’t let it shadow your potential..” 

The blonde scoffs, “you think this motivational bull is helpful?”

Staring straight into the man’s eyes she fights the urge to punch him in the face. “You don’t understand . You probably had it handed to you all your life when I’ve worked my ing off to be here.” The man backs into his seat at Jinsoul’s tone, “and you have no idea what it feels like for your hard work to be disregarded for something that disrespectful, as if I’d ever lay my hands on you.”

He nervously laughs, “I’d hope not. I do have a wife and kids you know.” Jinsoul blinks, how could someone be so shallow. 

Something bubbles inside of Jinsoul. It isn’t a normal kind of anger. “But that didn’t stop you with Jungeun did it.” His jaw clenches and Jinsoul continues, “if she hadn’t begged me to keep quiet about it I would have told the dean, because you're a pathetic excuse of an advisor and person. So never tell me what I need to do to have success when you can barely keep yours.” The blonde whips around and storms out of the class.

Tears spring to her eyes. No matter how far she had come, it all seemed to push her right back into the same place. That’s why she felt so bad for Jungeun. The younger girl had only asked for help only for the professor to unbuckle his belt. Jungeun did the right thing by running, but suffered a bad grade for it. Jungeun wouldn’t even fight for it, that’s why Jinsoul would help her from then on and how they became good friends.

If it was Jinsoul at his desk that day, surely she would have gone to prison. 

Outside, Jungeun waits for her. They walk hand in hand out of the building. Complaining about their misfortune.

But also the gratefulness for having each other.

~~~~

It’s late and Yoojung is getting ready for bed. She’s not particularly tired, so instead she thinks she’ll be doing another activity. She smiles and her tummy spins at the thought. But before she can go rush off to her girlfriend the doorbell rings. 

“Who the …” Yoojung says to herself and glances at the clock. It’s past midnight. Crawling towards the front door of her shared apartment she listens to the small and weak knocks at the wood. Putting her ear up against it she grabs the nob. She hears sniffling on the other side of the door and quickly opens it.

Yoojung isn’t entirely surprised to see Jinsoul on the other side, crying like a baby. Pulling the blonde inside she hugs her and starts to shush the now sobbing girl. Jinsoul was in ice cream stained pajamas and she even had some left on the side of . Jinsoul mumbles something about being sorry and that the ice cream wasn’t enough.

Jinsoul pulls away, “we need to cuddle now!” Yoojung can’t stop the rushing blonde and starts to panic when she gets closer to the bedroom door. Where Doyeon was waiting on her….Jinsoul opens the door and screams.

Doyeon was spread out on the bed with only her underwear on. She had a seductive look on her face until she saw it was Jinsoul. The blonde squeals and closes her eyes, “EW EW EW! WHAT THE FREAK!” Doyeon flips backwards off the bed in an attempt to cover herself while Yoojung stares idly into the distance.  

After Doyeon gets proper clothes on, Yoojung takes Jinsoul into the bathroom to clean her up and give her a fresh set of clothes. “Yoojung can I ask you something?” The younger girl nods as she wipes the chocolate off Jinsoul’s mouth. “Are you ing Doyeon?”

Body going stiff Yoojung starts to stutter, “w-waya talking bout?”

Jinsoul raises a brow and smiles for the first time tonight, “come on...she’s ing you. Admit it.”

“She isn’t”

“Is too.”

“No Jinsoul.”

“So you’re telling me Kim Doyeon was just in your bed in her fruit of the looms with the ‘ I’m about to destroy some puh-nani ’ pose for what? To pillow fight?” Yoojung starts to blush as Jinsoul giggles like a ert, “you were about to get your cake smashed wasn’t you?”   

“NO JINSOUL!”

Jinsoul starts to laugh even louder, “Yoojung please she had the look on her face and everything! Like , she was wanting some and you were totally gonna give it to her!”

Yoojung shakes her head, throwing the rag she washing Jinsoul’s face with in the sink, “you have no idea what you’re talking about.”

The blonde grabs her wrist and makes her voice low, “but I do.” Yoojung starts to shake, “Doyeon is ing you.”

Yoojung has no idea how Jinsoul manipulates her but the blonde was a master at persuasion. “Doyeon is ing me.” Jinsoul hops up and down with a now silent Yoojung in her arms. The younger girl convinces herself that she’s just trying to help, anything to take the blonde’s mind off whatever made her come here sobbing in the first place.

Minutes later, Jinsoul sits on the edge of the bed. Yoojung beside her and Doyeon above with her arms crossed. The blonde lowers her head, “sorry for coming guys...but I’m really sad and needed someone to hold me.” Doyeon was a bit pissed since her plans of destroying Yoojung were interrupted. But one glance at Jinsoul’s pout and puppy dog eyes had her forgetting about the whole thing. 

Yoojung squeezes the blonde since she was so irresistibly cute and Doyeon reaches forward to rub on blonde hair. Jinsoul hums satisfied, since the two above were babying her. She just needed some positive attention and affection since her day was a nightmare. Yoojung really thought of Jinsoul as her baby, and she’d make Doyeon believe the same.

Leaning into Yoojung, Jinsoul looks up at Doyeon. “Sorry for walking in on you in your tighty whities.” Doyeon shrugs, she didn’t really mind. “You’re kinda like...really hot.” Doyeon stops patting her on the head and glances away shyly. Jinsoul’s never complimented her before and Doyeon finally thinks she’s breaking through to Yoojung’s friend. She’s always tried to impress Jinsoul for the sake of Yoojung. “But you ruin it by being odd.”

Doyeon’s face drops sadly and Jinsoul smiles at her.

Jinsoul giggles into Yoojung’s neck, “god no wonder you’re so in love with her! She’s adorkable!” 

Yoojung laughs with the blonde that’s now trying to crawl into her lap, “shut up...I know.” Doyeon’s girlfriend gives her that loving gaze but she can’t stop panicking. 

“W-wait she knows?”

“Yes.”

Jinsoul peeks out from where she was hiding her face in Yoojung’s shoulder, “wasn’t like y’all didn’t make it obvious.” Yoojung smiles sheepishly at Jinsoul's comment.

But Doyeon is glad to see Jinsoul clinging onto Yoojung. She knows Yoojung’s always been afraid of telling the blonde, scared of losing her despite their theories on Jinsoul. Doyeon looks at her seriously, “you don’t mind?”

Jinsoul is tickling Yoojung making the girl squirm on the mattress, “pfft of course not. You might look mean as hell but I know you be soft on the inside.” Doyeon smiles at that, “and plus you’re a total babe. I wouldn’t let Yoojung date anyone ugly or anyone who would treat her badly.” Jinsoul says while squishing the younger girl's cheeks. 

“But if you do hurt her. Trust. You will be dealt with. I wouldn't hesitate to murder your lanky .” Jinsoul says a little seriously for Doyeon’s liking and Yoojung shushes Jinsoul before they go back to play fighting.

The taller girl guesses this will be a long night, so she goes to fix some popcorn.

Half an hour later, Doyeon finds herself at Yoojung’s vanity, getting worked on like a lab rat by two squealing girls. Yoojung is doing her lip gloss while Jinsoul is picking out an outfit for her.  Apparently Doyeon didn’t dress to her potential according to Jinsoul. She wouldn’t admit how offended she was when Yoojung agreed. She wasn’t even able to eat any popcorn since her jaw was locked in Yoojung’s hands.

They had sat her down and forced a makeover on her. Because apparently that’s what girl’s do at sleepovers and Jinsoul needed something to cheer her up. Doyeon doesn’t know why her being dolled up would make the blonde happy but the girl was smiling a lot more than she was when she first came.

“Soul come look!” Jinsoul pauses rummaging through the closet and wobbles over. The two girls look at each other and squeal before clapping. The blonde runs back over to get her outfit while Yoojung cradles her face, “you are so hot.” Doyeon bites her lip as Yoojung leans down for a kiss. It’s slow and lazy, the longer their lips smack together the more the two forget about the third wheel.

Jinsoul holds a dress up before groaning, “ewwww.” Yoojung pulls away quickly and looks up at Jinsoul who is smiling at them cheesily.

Doyeon groans, “I am not putting that on.”

“But you are. Yoojung tell her that she has to.”

“You have to.” The younger girl says.

“What? Babe come on?”

Doyeon argues, but not seconds later she’s putting on the dress and heels Jinsoul had found her. The last time she had worn something like this was at an art exhibit. Doyeon tells the girl’s sitting on the end of the bed that she’s ready and they both uncover their eyes. The taller girl shyly covers herself with her arms at the two eying her head to toe. It was some god awful sequins dress and Doyeon felt uncomfortable.

“Ugh switch me bodies now.” Jinsoul groans out and Doyeon raises a brow, “seriously! You’re made like a ing super model but wanna dress like somebodies dad. We’re switching. I’m not letting your height go to waste.” The blonde argues as Yoojung covers in laughter. Doyeon lets her shoulders slump...maybe she should try dressing up more.

“And your bone structure and features, could eat a vogue cover but nooo. I’m sick of you.” Jinsoul seems a bit serious and Doyeon even feels bad. There have been countless times where she’s been scouted for modeling, but denied. She only wanted to be with Yoojung. 

“But Soul you’re really pretty-” Yoojung starts.

“Shut up.” 

Doyeon watches the two go at it, mostly violently complimenting each other. So when Doyeon interrupts she gets a death glare. “Can I take this off now?” 

Yoojung narrows her eyes, “sure. After I get some pictures.” 

After what seems like hours Doyeon’s finally washed up and in bed. Yoojung and Jinsoul are cuddled up to her right. Talking about Jinsoul’s day, “so what did the professor say?’

The blonde throws her leg over Yoojung’s waist before snuggling into the girl’s shoulder. “Just some protocol type . Stuff that would make anyone else shut up. Told me if I wanted to be sucessful I needed to be a pushover... that. It’s literally the opposite of what I need to do. He just wanted to shut me down.” Jinsoul rants. “No one takes me seriously Yoojung. I don’t think they ever will.” 

“Hey hey of course they will. They’re just scared that they’ve never met someone like you.” Yoojung reassures her, “someone who will make a change someday and the way you’ll do that is never changing yourself Jinsoul.”  

The blonde smiles, “you’re the best Yoojung.” 

Jinsoul sleeps soundly that night in her bestfriend’s arms. She almost went to a party with Xiaojun instead, but didn’t really want to end up in some stranger's bed. Jinsoul knows the mood she was in and she’d accept any kind of validation...even the worst.

The next morning Jinsoul wakes up to the smell of breakfast and quickly crawls out of bed. Yawning she pads her feet down the hall and into the kitchen where the couple were getting plates ready. “You think she feels better?”

Yoojung hums at Doyeon’s question, “I hope so, she was pretty torn up about it.”

They’re quick to go silent when Jinsoul walks in. Breakfast is usually quiet between Doyeon and Yoojung, they're both not really morning people. But Jinsoul is...and she talks the two to death. Mostly asking about their relationship and then just straight up gossip.

Doyeon takes a mental break by doing the dishes as the other girls do aerobics in the living room. After she’s done she goes to put on some old clothes she doesn’t mind getting dirty and calls out to her girlfriend. “Hey babe! I’m gonna go to the studio!” 

Yoojung rushes to meet her at the door, “hey wait I thought you wanted me to go!” Doyeon bites her lip and gives a sheepish look to her girlfriend.

Jinsoul pops up from behind and Yoojung grabs her, “can Jinsoul go too?”

Doyeon’s head is screaming NO but both the girl’s half a foot shorter than her give her pouts that’s too hard to deny, “yeah sure.”

The older girl groans at how long it takes the other two to get ready so that she speeds in her old car down the not so busy streets. Jinsoul isn’t blabbering as much thankfully...at least until they get to the studio.

First things are pretty normal, Doyeon works in silence at her local studio owned by her peer. She wets the clay and spins it. Molding it into various widths. When she starts to shape it however, Jinsoul says something that makes her ruin the whole project. “Is that what she does to your vajayjay?” 

It’s meant to be a whisper for Yoojung but Jinsoul doesn’t know how to be that quiet. Yoojung turns bright red as Doyeon slaps down on the clay to restart. The blonde cringes at the awkwardness and goes back to keeping shut. 

After a few minutes, Yoojung leans over, “have you seen Sooyoung anymore this week?” Jinsoul’s smile falls quick. She hasn’t thought about that in three days. Yoojung notices it though. How Jinsoul’s face loses color. The blonde had been secretly burying Sooyoung this week. Trying to get herself out of the rivalry. She should be satisfied with the win she got. But she’d never be satisfied.

“No I haven’t and I hope I don’t.”

“Oh come on Soul don’t-”

“Drop it Yoojung.” Jinsoul snaps. God, that blew her. Now she wanted to go home and cry. So Jinsoul plans on doing exactly that. Raising up to leave.

Yoojung grabs her wrist, “wait don’t go...I won’t say anything else.”

Doyeon watches the two closely and Jinsoul slips her hand out of Yoojung’s. “I just remembered I have something to do. It’s not you babe.”

Jinsoul starts to back away then, “thanks Yoo, for letting me stay.” Then Doyeon’s stare is met, “you too I guess.” The blonde waves then disappears.

Doyeon shapes the clay into a bowl as Yoojung stares at the exit where Jinsoul just slipped through. “Ya know…” She couldn’t help but listen to the convo, seeing Jinsoul’s lost expression at the mention of Sooyoung. Doyeon grimaces remembering her run in with the older girl at the bar.

“Sooyoung’s always liked blondes.”

~~~~

Hiii everyone sorry for this unnecessary chapter...but I felt like Jinsoul needed some background along with a bit of Yves too. I promise next chapter is something to look forward to ;) I still hope everyone is enjoying and thank you all for the nice comments :( I really do appreciate it! Keeps a girl going hehe Lots of love mwah! Have fun reading! 

Spoiler for next chapter: short shorts.