“Did you miss me?” Sooyoung rolls her eyes as she unlocks the door to her apartment. She loved Yubin, but never like that. She had respect for the older woman, she was the professor that helped Sooyoung get to where she was. The only one that seemed to care back then. That was until they started sleeping together, and Yubin had turned her back on her when Sooyoung didn’t want to anymore.

Sooyoung’s always had admirers, she knows she’s pretty and charming. Most are surprised when she’s actually a sweet person, it’s what gets them to fall for her. But Sooyoung also hated when people were selfish. Yubin loved her, but only because Sooyoung made her feel good. She didn’t actually love the person that Sooyoung was.

That was the difference between Jinsoul and most. The blonde actually liked Sooyoung for who she was and took the time to understand her after she could have easily kept her first impression of her. Jinsoul never had selfish intentions with her, it was only genuine curiosity. She wanted to know Sooyoung, because she saw that they were similar, yet complete opposites.

Jinsoul actually respected her, when most didn’t take the time to.

Walking into her kitchen, Yubin grabs her waist and pulls her close. Sooyoung takes a deep breath when the older woman starts to play with her tie, “Sooo-”

“I’m not sleeping with you.” Sooyoung pushes her off, adjusting her glasses that had slipped down when Yubin had tugged her. Yubin only smiles, as if she thought Sooyoung would give in with a little encouragement. But to the older woman’s surprise Sooyoung dodges the hand that goes to palm her . 

“Right, sorry.” Yubin gives up at the moment, “I taught you well apparently. Things are looking good at Polaris for you.”

Sooyoung rolls her eyes and opens her fridge up to get two beers out, “please, I taught myself. The only thing you taught me to do was how to fake an .” Okay, maybe Sooyoung was still salty that her long-time advisor ghosted her after she cut things off. 

Handing Yubin a beer Sooyoung isn’t shocked to see a knowing smirk on her old professor's face, “I can tell your faking something right now, I’m the only one that’s ever been able to love you right.” Sooyoung feels a sick pull in , no, you never did. You’re just like everyone else, trying to tame me like some animal.

But Jinsoul doesn’t.  

She’d love me right.

Sooyoung hates that thought, because no matter how much she wants Jinsoul. She can’t. Sooyoung won’t allow herself. The blonde is too special to her. Jinsoul deserves more than to just become another one of Sooyoung’s conquests. To become a ghost just like everyone else does after Sooyoung breaks their heart.

Jinsoul looks up to her in a way she looks up to Yubin and she won’t make the same mistake her professor did.

“Think what you want.” Sooyoung says with an edge to her voice. She doesn’t want to use Jinsoul. Not after the blonde had been so thoughtful and caring. Not after she’s finally getting to see this side to her that she didn’t think was possible. It was no wonder why so many people were infatuated with Jinsoul. And it was no wonder the blonde had to be a to push them away or to get someone to actually listen to her. 

Even when Jinsoul was at her worst, Sooyoung couldn’t help but feel drawn to her.

Because damn...was Jinsoul cute when she was mad. “Then why’d you bring me back here?” Sooyoung is broken out of her thoughts, her memories of messing around with Jinsoul. It was always fun with Jinsoul, like they were meant to be together. 

“I dunno, thought we could be adults and catch up.” Sooyoung boredly draws out. Maybe she shouldn’t have invited Yubin back. Right now she should be at the arcade poking fun at how bad Jinsoul was at Dig Dug. 

She felt at peace with the blonde, like she was free to be herself. Like she didn’t have to hide behind that cool exterior she’s spent so long building. Jinsoul was the warmth Sooyoung never experienced but Ha always wanted. “I know something we could catch up on.” Yubin laughs as Sooyoung rolls her eyes, is this the way she came off to other girls? She didn’t think she was this greasy when trying to pick up a one night stand.

Sooyoung prepares herself as Yubin begins to strut back over to her, but thankfully, a loud ringing interrupts the both of them. Sooyoung stares at the landline and when she turns back, she’s face to face with Yubin, “don’t answer it baby.”

With a smile, Sooyoung grabs the phone and holds it up, “hello?”

~~~~

Five minutes earlier

“Oh my god Jinsoul it’s just Sooyoung...pick up the phone and dial the number.” Xiaojun groans from her bed, he’s reading a magazine while Jinsoul paces a trench into her bedroom floor. He’s right...it’s just Sooyoung. Who’s really cool and probably doing cool things with some other cool person that’s not Jinsoul.

Who’s a loser. 

What? “I am not a loser, she is.” Jinsoul groans out, Xiaojun gives her a funny look before going back to his magazine. Jinsoul wants to pull every blonde strand of hair out of her head. Since when did she get so nervous with Sooyoung. The party and now a stupid phone call. Just what kind of spell had this girl put over her.

Jinsoul was starting to steam, she really fell straight into Sooyoung’s trap just like everyone else did, god that girl is seriously charming. However, Jinsoul didn’t think her heart being captured was so bad. Stockholm syndrome she guesses, or maybe she wanted to fall into the trap all along. 

Still, Jinsoul felt foolish. She was supposed to be getting over this obsession, not making it worse. She’s gotten what she’s wanted. Sooyoung appreciates her like she wants her to. And Jinsoul’s come to truly care about the girl. So why wasn’t this...going away. Why did she want even more?

“ it I’m calling.” Jinsoul grumples and picks up her pink phone, smashing the faded buttons.

Xiaojun snorts, “And the crowd goes wild...wowwww she’s actually doing it.” 

Not paying attention to her best friend, the line rings. What if she wasn’t even home, Jinsoul’s about to hang up but then the prettiest voice flows through her ears, burning the nerves in her tummy even hotter. “Hello?” 

~~~~

Sooyoung listens to the static, until a shy whisper cracks through the silence. “Ew...you sound even more annoying over the phone.” Yubin watches as Sooyoung’s pupils dilate to full size, the older woman can’t help but feel jealous. Her student never looked at her that way.

Now, someone over the phone was making Sooyoung’s eyes sparkle intensely. 

Her heart skips twice, three times. “Jinsoul?” Sooyoung holds the phone with both hands, the stupidest smile forming on her face. Leaning her shoulder on the wall she fights the giddy feeling surging through her body. Jinsoul called her, the blonde remembered her number. She wanted to talk.

Yubin raises a brow and Sooyoung shoos her off, hating what’s to come after she hangs up this phone. “Awe babe you remembered my name. Good job, you get an A plus for not being as stupid as you look.” Sooyoung snorts, used to her blood would boil when Jinsoul would mock her. But it was just a form of Jinsoul’s enormous amount of affection. And the blonde had many forms of it.

Some forms that Sooyoung couldn’t handle. Like when Jinsoul had kissed her cheek while clinging onto her, or told her sweet nothings in that dreamy yet deep voice, or listened to her like she’s the only person in the world. “Did you just call to insult me or do you actually have something important to tell me?” 

Sooyoung’s cheeks heat up when she hears Jinsoul laugh over the line, “as much as I would enjoy that, it’s not the reason I called.” 

“Oh yeah? Let me guess, you wanted to hear my beautiful voice?” Sooyoung teases, waiting to receive a groan over the static but it never comes.

Instead, there’s an even sweeter laugh than before. “Actually yeah, I was thinking of you.” She can tell Jinsoul’s smiling by the way she sounds breathless, Sooyoung’s mouth goes dry and her mind goes blank. She didn’t expect Jinsoul to say something like that. Something capable of making her knees lock up so that she has to lean onto the wall for support.

Yubin gives her a look from across the table, Sooyoung glares at her before turning around. “I’m flattered, princess...I’m glad you’re not trying to hide how much you like me now.” Twirling her finger on the cord of the phone she does hear a faint scoff over the speaker. Sooyoung can’t help but bite her lip.

“Oh whatever, I’m hanging up.” Jinsoul mumbles out.

Sooyoung is quick to protest, “NO!” 

It’s silent and she forces herself to turn to check if Yubin was eavesdropping. She was, and the older woman looked amused about something. “You were saying something about how much I like you?” Embarrassed Sooyoung takes a moment to calm down, trying not to pay attention to the mocking tone of Jinsoul’s voice.

“I’ve been waiting for your call for weeks, of course I don’t want you to go.” Sooyoung says honestly and hears a soft sigh.

Jinsoul hums, “gross. That was...cute, anyways.” Sooyoung continues to chew at her lip, “I did call for another reason than to just annoy you. I’ll be busy most of next week and well, I wanted to tell you so you won’t miss me that much or wait for me at the arcade.” 

Of course, Sooyoung lets a pout form on her face, wishing Jinsoul could see it so she’ll go back on her word. But unfortunately, Jinsoul was telling the truth. “Really? How come?”

“Business conference with some other students, we’re trying to get an internship.” Sooyoung listens carefully, that’s right. Jinsoul was a business major meaning that her future will be busy, maybe even too busy for Sooyoung. She doesn't want to admit how afraid she is that their friendship may be temporary. “I may have a surprise for you though.”

Sooyoung’s frown flips at that, “yeah? What is it?” It’s strange how happy Jinsoul can make her at the simplest things. Sooyoung hasn’t been happy for a long time, but meeting Jinsoul...she thinks she’ll be just fine. 

“Wouldn’t make it a surprise if I told you.” Sooyoung agrees with a sad sigh and it turns downright depressing when Jinsoul mumbles out, “I better go, Xiaojun is calling for me.”

She doesn’t want Jinsoul to go… “when am I going to see you again?”

Jinsoul is silent for a few seconds but then says something that makes Sooyoung’s head spin, “when you miss me enough.” The line goes dead, and so does Sooyoung’s excitement. 

~~~~

Letting out a breath she was holding the entire time, Jinsoul makes sure the phone is hung up. Was she just flirting with Sooyoung? Turning to Xiaojun, she’s met with a knowing smirk. Yup, she was definitely just flirting with Sooyoung and the most surprising part is she wasn’t ashamed. She wanted to keep doing it. Jinsoul would kill to see the look on Sooyoung’s face. 

She wouldn’t doubt Sooyoung was smiling shyly. A deep blush on her face, it makes her own ears turn red. “What?” She cringes at how high her voice is. 

Xiaojun kicks his feet in the air, “biiiitch are we gonna talk about the elephant in the room.”

Jinsoul swallows and makes her way over to bounce on top of the mattress with him. She gasps and plays it off, “oh my god you’re gay?” 

Xiaojun glares at her before smiling, “no...you are.” 

Clenching her jaw, Jinsoul turns her cheek. She wasn’t gay, she just had a great and profound admiration for women, especially Sooyoung. That doesn’t mean that she wants to kiss any girl she finds pretty or that she’s ever fantasized about being with a girl. How much more softer their hands are...or how plump and smooth their lips are. 

Most of all, it did not mean she liked Sooyoung.

Jinsoul flirted with all her friends, just because her tummy clenched when she flirted with Sooyoung and not with anyone else didn’t mean anything.

“Xiaojun we’ve been over this.” She whispers.

“Yeah we have, everytime you’d kiss Xiaowei in the closet we’d have this conversation.” Jinsoul’s nostrils flared up, they’d pinky promised to never speak that name again. Jinsoul used to kiss this one girl...a lot but it was just for fun. Kissing boys was way better. Jinsoul turns on her side, back towards Xiaojun who whined at her avoidance, “Soul come on, you know you can talk to me about these things!”  

Maybe talking it out will get all the confusion out of her head. But she can’t face Xiaojun or he’ll get something wrong in his head, “you’ve met Sooyoung. She’s practically a goddess. It’s hard not to have some sort of crush on her.”

Xiaojun rests his head on his hand, staring at the blonde’s profile, “yeah, but there’s a difference, you can have friend crushes and then the type where you fall in love with them.” Something sticky and poisonous lodges in Jinsoul’s throat at the word love. “I don’t think you’re in love or will actually fall for her, but you definitely like Sooyoung a little more than you should don’t you?” 

Jinsoul sighs, her best friend is right. “Xiaojun she’s so dreamy.” Turning around, her eyes gloss over with fearful tears. “From the moment I saw that highscore on that arcade game I was obsessed. I made up my mind that I had to know her, that she was supposed to be close to me.” 

Xiaojun nods seriously, listening to her without butting in. “I had my fantasy and it was overwhelming when she was everything I imagined. The way she talked the way she walked. Even the way she looked at me was so...UGH.” Jinsoul groans and kicks her feet off the mattress, reaching over she clutches one of her pillows to her chest. “She was a mystery I wanted to solve. God it was like she stole my heart right outta my chest.” Jinsoul whines while squeezing the pillow wishing it was Sooyoung. 

Her friend sighs, “but you didn’t factor in if she’d like you back.” Jinsoul looks up at him, yeah, she didn’t fit that in with the scenarios she’d fantasize about. She just thought the ghost of the arcade would somehow go with everything conjured in her head. “And that’s why you wanted to hate her, because she wanted nothing to do with you, because she might have hated you.”

Jinsoul flips onto her back, “She didn’t, now that I think of it. I approached her the wrong way. Sooyoung’s...reserved. Kinda withdrawn from the world around her, but I tried to force her to be in mine. And it hurt when she ignored me.” Jinsoul pouts up, “but she wasn’t ignoring me. She’s not talkative, really she listened to everything I said.” Closing her eyes, she drapes her elbow across them. “I tried to convince myself that she wasn’t really what I wanted after all. But I couldn’t get it out of my head, how much I needed to be around her.” 

Xiaojun pats her tummy, “is it different now? That things are going your way?” 

Jinsoul snorts, “no, it’s worse.” Sooyoung was supposed to continue to be that chic, yet cold girl she met that night. The girl with just the right amount of sympathy to not be completely heartless. But Sooyoung was a lot more than that, a lot more than what Jinsoul had assumed of her. Of course, the blonde was right about a lot of things when it came to Sooyoung. But her answer to the mystery of who Sooyoung wasn’t complete one, she didn’t get full credit from figuring out that Sooyoung’s actually just a sweetheart.

Sooyoung didn’t just have one wall, she had multiple. Jinsoul doesn’t think she’s even close to breaking one down. 

But she knows one thing, “she’s so ing cute.” Turning to Xiaojun he smiles, “that’s what makes it worse, I wish she really was just a jerk. Then I’d have a reason to hate her...instead she’s…” A thousand words come to Jinsoul’s head. Sooyoung’s definitely a heart-throb. And Jinsoul’s at a dangerous risk of having cardiac arrest.

“What do I do Xiaojun, just wait until it goes away?” She asks seriously. Jinsoul doesn’t know if this is an actual crush. Or if it’s that new feeling when she meets someone that doesn’t irritate her for once. 

Xiaojun hums, “or maybe I don’t know, go with your heart and see where things go?” 

Jinsoul side eyes him, “um no thanks, she’s not really my type you know.” Xiaojun raises a brow, questionably and Jinsoul’s resolve crumbles, “oh get real, so what I think she’s one of the iest girls I’ve seen doesn't mean I wanna swap spit with her. Ugh, as if.” Sooyoung was...attractive in a sense. Very attractive. But Jinsoul shivers at the thought of sharing a little more than just skinship with the girl.

“Yeah sure, so you don’t want to get it on with the one and only yves?” Jinsoul smacks Xiaojun in the chest as he giggles, “I’m just saying something’s telling me that Sooyoung knows how to knot a cherry stem with her tongue.” 

Jinsoul rolls her eyes and pretends to not think about...certain things. “Come on, you gotta crush on her too and you don’t see her that way.”

Xiaojun rubs on his chest, “well yeah cause I wanna be her, you wanna be on her.” Jinsoul slams her fists onto the mattress before rising up to stomp across her room. Xiaojun only laughs, knowing he’s starting to get into his best friend's head. The blonde only starts to throw various objects at him before he starts to apologize. But really, he has nothing to be sorry for.

He was only speaking the truth.

~~~~

Sooyoung’s sketches of Jinsoul doesn’t come out entirely right. It’s been almost four days since she’s laid eyes on the blonde, almost four days since she heard that voice. What makes matters worse is that Yubin is here. Her excuse was that she wanted to have lunch with Sooyoung, but was not pleased when Sooyoung had said she doesn’t take lunch breaks.

Pressing her finger onto the page she closes her eyes and tries to remember the soft features of Jinsoul’s face. Just how gorgeous she really is. Sooyoung feels herself slip into a comfortable drift as she remembers the day Jinsoul had pulled her out for some mock photoshoot. How can one girl’s smile feel like everything to Sooyoung. 

Jinsoul was easy to fall in love with.

A little too easy, but how could Sooyoung resist? When everything about the blonde was like a dream come true.

She’s knocked out of reminiscing over holding Jinsoul’s hand when Yubin clears . Sooyoung glares at her, how could this woman be so important to her at one point but now a pain in the . A 180 of what Jinsoul was to her. 

 “You know if you’re hungry I’m sure one of the guys won’t mind going to lunch with you.” Sooyoung dead pans. Hoping Yubin gets the hint and leaves. 

But the older woman waves her off, “no I’ll wait for you. Since you’re doing something so important.” Yubin smiles as Sooyoung sheepishly glances down at her drawings. She told the woman it was concept art…

About to just shove the woman out, instead someone pushes into her office. About to yell at Haechan for barging in on her she’s shoots out of her seat a different way. Yubin raises a brow as Sooyoung stiffins straight up, knocking her chair over in the process. 

It’s Jinsoul, “SURPRISE! I KNOW WHERE YOU WORK!” If this was anyone else Sooyoung would be creeped out, but this was Jinsoul, so of course her heart was pounding with excitement.

Sooyoung stammers, wanting to die from embarrassment, “J-Jinsoul uh,um-”

“Heyyyyy babe!” Jinsoul rushes in, completely ignoring Yubin who is throwing daggers at her. Sooyoung has her hands glued to her sides until Jinsoul is throwing herself into her arms.She knows she’s gonna get an integration when Yubin stares right at her as the biggest and dumbest grin appears on her face when she realizes that it’s Jinsoul is hugging her.

Sooyoung doesn’t pay mind to Yubin’s cold expression; instead, she hugs Jinsoul back with just as much enthusiasm. Jinsoul squeals at the reciprocated affection and starts to bounce on her toes, pressing her cheek to Sooyoung’s chest. She can’t help but hold the blonde’s head there, hoping she never pulls away.

She also hopes that Jinsoul can’t hear the drum beat of her heart. But she doesn’t have much luck on her side. Jinsoul’s ear is pressed right against it. They hug a bit longer than intended. Maybe it’s because Jinsoul wasn’t too keen on letting go, and Sooyoung wasn’t letting her make the decision by pulling her closer every time the blonde moved the slightest inch.  

Jinsoul does force them apart after a while, much to Sooyoung’s disappointment. Before Sooyoung can say something, the blonde raises up a brown paper bag. Jinsoul giggles before pushing it into Sooyoung’s hands. “I missed you so I brought you lunch or whatever.” Sooyoung stares at the bag in her hands with a bit of awe, “and don’t say a word or so help me god.” Jinsoul’s mood flips but then bounces right back. 

Sooyoung’s mouth opens and closes, but she can only look into Jinsoul’s dark brown eyes. They had a twinkle in them, one she’s come to adore. She’s beginning to adore this girl. Jinsoul’s smile is shining and her eyes widen, “what is it?” The blonde starts to become concerned but Sooyoung can’t break out of the trance she’s in.

She doesn’t know what’s harder to face. Just how much she’s missed Jinsoul in such a short amount of time, or that she doesn’t want to go this long without seeing her again. The blonde pouts up and Sooyoung wants to kiss it away, but is painfully reminded that they’re not alone in the office.

Yubin clears and Jinsoul rips her stare from her. Sooyoung slumps over, like Jinsoul’s gaze was the only thing keeping her alive. Thankfully, as Jinsoul notices Yubin in the corner, Sooyoung’s blessed with the view of the blonde’s perfect jawline. Hey eyes trail over it slowly, until she’s soaking in Jinsoul’s full profile.

Sooyoung knows she must look like an idiot, about to pass out from simply staring at this girl. She watches the flutter of Jinsoul’s eyelashes, “oh hi sorry did I interrupt something!” 

Jinsoul’s never been so professional before. The blonde’s voice smooths out, contrasting the normal deep and slow mumble she speaks with. Yubin only gives her a fake yet polite smile, “not at all we were just going to lunch.”

Sooyoung’s mouth waters when Jinsoul’s jaw tightens up and her brows turn downward. She has no idea why, but the only thing she can focus on is how attractive it is. “My bad, if I had known I could have gotten you something too, I’m Jinsoul!” The blonde walks over to shake hands and Sooyoung is still stuck on how cute Jinsoul’s cheeks looked. 

“Yubin, and it’s fine. Sooyoung wasn’t really wanting to go anyways.” Jinsoul’s smile becomes forced and becomes jaded as well. Sooyoung watches the exchange nervously. The blonde looks a lot softer than usual, her hair isn’t teased, instead it was laying in faint waves that Sooyoung wished she could run her hands through. The tri-color hair clips just added to the effect. 

But with Yubin here, she doesn’t think Jinsoul will be staying long. The thought sets Sooyoung in a bad mood. Jinsoul looked too cute for her own good, and Sooyoung wouldn’t be able to appreciate it or tell her. 

Jinsoul slides over to her to give her one last side hug, Sooyoung doesn’t even have the motivation to return it. “I guess I’ll be going then, since you guys are busy.” There’s a slight sadness to Jinsoul’s voice and Sooyoung feels her heart crack.

The blonde smiles at her and pats her hip before pulling away. Sooyoung grabs her hand, “thank you Jinsoul. You didn’t really have to.” Don’t go, is what she really wants to say. Jinsoul winks at her and raises up to kiss her on the cheek, Yubin’s scoff could be heard from miles away and Sooyoung’s blush heats the whole room up.

Jinsoul’s kiss redirects though, straight to her ear. “She doesn’t like me does she?” Sooyoung shivers as Jinsoul’s lips graze across the lobe, does the blonde even know what she’s doing to her? 

Sooyoung’s relieved of embarrassing herself as Jinsoul shuffles back onto her heels. But humiliation comes in a different form. Jinsoul’s eyes shift right down to her desk, where all the drawings were. “Hey that looks like-”

Throwing herself onto her desk she groans at Jinsoul, “don’t look at it.”

Jinsoul blinks out of fear, “okayyy weirdo jeez.” The blonde scratches at her head, “well this is awkward as hell so I’m out! Byeeee. Nice meeting you um...yeah. Bye!” Jinsoul leaves with a skip to her step, blowing a kiss towards her as she walks through the door. 

The silence that comes after is a bit hard for Sooyoung to handle. She stares down at the lunch Jinsoul brought her, trying to wrap her head around that this was the same girl that wanted to kill her some time ago, “so that’s your little girlfriend?” Sooyoung glances up at Yubin who had a straight face. “Jinsoul the girl from the phone right?” 

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Sooyoung warns. But the long sigh that comes out of seconds later doesn’t help her case. Yubin rolls her eyes and stands. 

“Sooyoung I know you’ve liked the...hmm how can I say this without coming off rude.” Yubin trails off as she walks over to her desk, Sooyoung pulls her seat back up from where she knocked it over. Sitting in it she doesn’t have the chance to protect the bag Jinsoul gave her from being snatched up, “ She’s cute, pretty in-fact. Hard to say anything bad to a girl that adorable.” 

While Yubin digs through the lunch she pulls out a small note, Sooyoung doesn’t notice because she’s so focused on not getting angry. She keeps her cool to hide the emotion boiling in her chest. “But you can’t be serious can you?” Yubin asks before crumbling the note in her hand and shoving it in her jacket pocket. 

Sooyoung rolls her eyes finally looking up at Yubin, “Whatever you’re thinking, you’re wrong. Jinsoul is different.” Most girl’s were unique but that wasn’t what Yubin was pointing towards. Sooyoung knew the woman would try and convince her that Jinsoul would drop her as soon as she found out about...her interest in other women. But Jinsoul didn’t, she accepted her with open arms. 

“Different? Different how.” Yubin raises her brow while tossing the bag back to Sooyoung. She’d keep the note in her pocket. That had the blonde’s name in cursive with xoxo at the end, followed along with a phone number. Sooyoung didn’t need that. “She’s just like every other little wanna be pop-star. It’s a bit boring at this point. The style, the hair, that perfect smile.” 

Sooyoung grumbles, allowing Yubin to continue with her little lecture on why Jinsoul was bad for her, “What? You know I’m right. You’ve always been into those girls that are so popular they have their own little following. But really there’s nothing interesting about them. Except that they hang out at the mall every ing weekend.” Yubin struts behind her, “Their heads are empty, the only room they have up there is from the countless admirers and what’s new out of the catalogs. What do you call that...hm an airhead!” 

Yubin hugs her behind her, sliding her hands across her shoulders seductively. Sooyoung pushes her off with a shrug, hunching over when Yubin’s breath ghosts the back of her neck, “She’s not an airhead. She’s nothing like that.” Jinsoul’s smart, with books and the streets. Sooyoung wasn’t as aware as her when she was Jinsoul’s age, and that was only a few years ago.

“Why do you defend her so much, it’s like you’re already in love with her.” Something lodges in Sooyoung’s throat at the accusation. Yeah, she said Jinsoul was easy to fall in love with, but that doesn’t mean she actually is. That would be a bad decision, even worse would be the blonde falling for her. 

Sooyoung stares down at her trembling hands, “I’m not in love with her. She’s just a good friend, unlike some people.” Her tone isn’t convincing even to herself. Yubin isn’t affected by the slight jab either. 

The older woman plays with Sooyoung’s hair, that was starting to grow out, “then what’s so special about this girl that’s got you so consumed? Wait...let me guess.” Yubin tugs on a strand of dark brown hair, making Sooyoung’s cheeks tinge with anger, “She doesn’t ignore you like every other girl you’ve ever had a thing for has.” 

Sooyoung’s pulled back into her days in college and even earlier than that, the many times she was stuck on girl’s who wouldn’t even look her way. That didn’t or wouldn’t ever know she existed. The girls that Yubin taught her how to avoid. Girls like Jinsoul. “Trust me Sooyoung, the only reason she's probably catering to you is because no one else is fawning over her. She feeds off the attention, doesn’t matter where she gets it from.” 

She’s just as bad, it’s not like she does the same thing with girls who do end up falling for her. Sooyoung feeds off being needed, until it gets too much.“She’s no different from any of those other girls. Soon she’ll have a boyfriend and forget all about little ol’ you.” 

Yubin is wrong about Jinsoul just like she once was. “And you’ll be left heart broken.”

“That won’t happen.”

“And how can you be so sure?”

Sooyoung swallows, “Because she cares about me.”

Yubing laughs out loud, like it was the stupidest thing she’s ever heard, “Oh my god this is pitiful. Here I thought I taught you better than that...you remember the last time you thought a girl cared about you?” The older woman reaches down to touch the left side of her waist, dragging her touch up, it felt like poison. Yubin touches the scar and Sooyoung has to bite the insides of her cheeks to not break, “And who was there for you when this happened. Nobody Sooyoung.” 

The older woman finally pulls away, allowing Sooyoung to breathe properly. Sooyoung watches with disdain as Yubin trails around the room, “So don’t get wrapped up into some flooze just because you like the way she looks at you.” Yubin stares at her from across the desk with a sympathetic gaze, but Sooyoung knows the woman is trying to be manipulative. 

“Or you’ll end up losing your own game to somebody that doesn’t even know how to play it.” Sooyoung stares up at her with regret. Yubin played her the same way a long time ago. She was the girl that was fooled and now she was doing the same thing to her lovers.

Sooyoung thought it was the only way...but maybe with Jinsoul. Maybe it could be different. “Trust me, I don’t plan on pursuing her. So you can stop being jealous.” Who was she kidding, Sooyoung will never have the guts to confess to Jinsoul. 

Yubin scoffs, “me? Jealous? Please why would I be jealous of that.” The woman crosses her arms and fakes a concerned tone, “I’m just looking out for you Sooyoung.” Rolling her eyes, Yubin leans back over the desk and brings her voice down to a whisper, “does she even know you’re ya know?” 

Sooyoung narrows her eyes at the limp wrist Yubin throws at her. Not daring to answer, Yubin clicks her tongue, “like I said, you remember last time you trusted someone, what makes you so sure that she’s different.” Sooyoung stares down at her lap, faint memories fade into sharper images.

But then she remembers what Jinsoul said.

You can trust me.

And Sooyoung does, even though it scares her more than anything. 

“I’m positive I don’t have to worry about it.” Sooyoung determines, more to herself than to Yubin.”So you shouldn’t either.”

The woman raises her brow with a question, “oh is that right?” Sooyoung doesn’t react as Yubin rolls her eyes and starts to pack her things. Sooyoung doesn’t know whether to be relieved or irritated. 

As Yubin walks out of her office she grabs the door frame to look back at her once more. A knowing smirk playing on her lips. “Just don’t be surprised when she ends up hating you.” Sooyoung heart sinks at the words. She doesn't know what would be worst. Jinsoul breaking her heart.

Or if she breaks Jinsoul’s.

~~~~

Holding up the polaroid camera, Jinsoul tries to hide her scowl. The blonde had been third wheeling ever since she got here. Doyeon and Yoojung were posing in front of some heaping tower of fireworks and Jinsoul was the one forced to take pictures of the disgustingly adorable couple.

It was hard walking around a festival where there was just love blossoming all around her. She lost count of how many pairs of dates she had seen. Girls wrapped around some guy’s arm. Boys chasing after groups of girls. She remembers getting sick while watching two love birds feed each other greasy food while she was waiting for some cotton candy.

Instead of feeling lonely, Jinsoul lost herself in the noise. All the rickety rides with millions of flashing lights to make them seem more fun, the screams from the watermelon eating contest, firecrackers popping around all their feet. The summer flower festival, except really, there was only one little vendor that had flowers. It was some old woman with a poor selection of hibiscus. 

No the real festival was in the show of fireworks, artery clogging food and rides that made said food come back up. Jinsoul kept zoning out at the lights and noises, all spinning around and around her head. It was numbing in a way, and helped distract her from feeling jaded. 

Like right now, as she watched the ferris wheel go around and around. Doyeon and Yoojung were on it. But Jinsoul didn’t want to be the loser who rode it by herself. She was jealous simply put it, of all the gushy sweetness that love is. The blonde has never gone to the summer flower festival without a boyfriend. This year she just didn’t feel like dealing with some guy that would hardly fill the emptiness. 

It’d never ever be enough, or close to the real thing.

Where was her fairytale romance? 

Jinsoul had dressed her best, she got a new perm, putting it halfway up with some beaded hair ties that matched the earrings and necklace she had on. She used her prettiest shade of eyeshadow and lined her lips and wore a white lacy corset top with high waisted leather pants that fit perfectly to her form. It definitely made a few jaws loose. Some part of her was hoping she’d run into a certain little tech nerd (she’d been looking for Sooyoung all night actually, as much as she wouldn’t admit it), and another part was telling her to find the first person who looks at her and spend the night with them just so she’d stop thinking about her. Jinsoul couldn’t believe herself, she never got dolled up for anyone. However, the way that Sooyoung complimented her last time stuck to her like glue.

Every Time she’d catch some guys gaze from across the mudded ground of the festival. The empty feeling got worse and the cotton candy she was munching on became bitter. Jinsoul hates that she knows what she wants now. And she can’t even substitute anything for it. She'd rather keep third wheeling, but it was making her miserable every time her friends shared a loving look.

She kept imagining it was her and... “ THIS!” Jinsoul was never the jealous one, especially something over this lame! The blonde raises up from her spot on the bench. Jinsoul was tired of third wheeling, she was ditching this stupid festival and heading to the arcade. No she couldn’t do that either...cause that would just remind her of all the times they were there together. 

Sooyoung’s starting to ruin her in the best way possible. 

If this was months ago, before she met Sooyoung she could easily go to the arcade without hesitating or become some guy's arm piece to empty his pockets for fair games and lemonade. It wasn’t that simple anymore. All she freaking thinks about is Ha Sooyoung. She only wants to be with her, nobody else is acceptable anymore. Jinsoul’s heart won’t allow it.

Jinsoul stomps up to the ride operator, receiving mixed stares in the process. Some from her outfit, Jinsoul knows she looked really really good, but that wasn’t the point. She always looked good. And others stare from her rude attitude as she waves obnoxiously at the scrawny guy. “Hellooo Mr. toothpick!” 

He tosses his cigarette somewhere before stumbling up towards her. His monolid eyes trail up and down her body, “what’s up babe?” 

Resisting the urge to throat punch him, Jinsoul flutters her eyelashes. “Could you do me a huge favor?”

His smirk is sinister, “sure, depends on what you’ll do in return.” 

Jinsoul’s fake smile drops, “actually I changed my mind...ert.” She turns to a mother and her kid, “hi miss.” The woman nods in a greeting but looks scared to death, “my friends are on this ride, two girl’s one is tall like, jolly green giant tall, and the other is tiny and cute. Can you give them this camera and tell them that Jinsoul is going home.” 

The fear in the woman’s eyes fades and she takes the camera. Jinsoul flips around and starts to strut through the little alleyways of rides and set ups for fair games. She plans on going home, right after she gets one of those footlong corn dogs. She needed to really prepare for the next D&D session...

Getting dizzy from all the lights and heat, Jinsoul leans back onto the cool metal of one of the many fun houses scattered around the festival. She closes her eyes and takes a few deep breaths but then her focus is broken by a muffled voice. “Gum?”

About to cuss out whoever was bugging her during her obvious breakdown she opens her eyes to meet a very familiar hand. Jinsoul blinks at the gold banded rings wrapped around a lithe pinky and thumb. Jinsoul’s eyes slowly trail up the arm that the piece of dangling gum belonged to.

As soon as she sees that cocky grin…her heart drops.

Oh brother

~~~~

Sorry for the filler chapter! Don’t you guys just love these anyways I promise to make up for it in the next chapter ;) like REALLY make up for it. No longer will this be bad of a slow burn :( idk if that’s a good thing or bad thing let’s turn it up tho

Thank you all for all the nice comments and stuff I am very grateful! It makes my heart tingle a little...lots of love stay safe! Hope you all enjoy this mess as always MUAH <3