Jessica: Hmmm.. let's have a deal. I'll talk to you about Donghae and you'll talk to me about your "ex-girlfriend"... You think I forgot?? Ha!

I'm just staring at her message. I'm thinking if I will let her know the story. I'm thinking of our story. I felt my heart is opening. Not it's wound but of letting go. I've  been through hell in the process of moving on from you so I think I still can get out from this in whole.

Jessica: hey! I mean if you're not yet ready to talk about her it's  fine.

Me: she's dead.

Jessica: What do you mean she's dead? As in dead dead?

Me: yes! And it's my fault. 😔

I bent my back forward and rested my head over my crossed arms on the table to rest. My heart is betraying me.

Jessica: can I have your number?

Me: why?

Jessica: I want to know the story. You can't just logged out anytime and not talk to me anymore just like what you did before.

Well, she has all the rights to think that. I suddenly laugh at myself remembering all those days. Trust issue is a thing
But I'm starting to feel something in my heart --it stutter in its own way and there's my mind trying to calm it down. My mind and heart never goes hand in hand but now, they have to.

Me: before?

I don't have much time yet to talk about you. So I'm trying to switch topic. Time is not a friend of mine tonight. Thinking of Jessica never disappoints my lips in curving up especially now that she'll be in this cliff-hanger situation --again. This is always been our problem -funny! I started walking towards my locker to--

Jessica: just give me your number

Jessica: please.

Ohhhh deym she's serious. ..

Me: 800-1204, but can we do this next time. I have to go back to work. My lunch is over. I'm sorry ✌

I didn't wait for her to respond as I really have to run back to work. I really mean that sorry.

I'm working with scripts now but I'm really thinking of my giddy life. This will make or break me again. Is this a trap or what? Can I talk about you now without getting lost to live with the truth --with the reality? Well there's only one way to