'Appa! Appa!'

I shook my head watching Young-Hwi jump in front of the TV after seeing Tae-Goo there. Why is he often in the news lately? The other week it was about his company donating to a children's orphanage. What is it this time? He was seen out with a celebrity? Aren't the celebrity careful nowadays with dating rumors? I shouldn't really allow Young-Hwi watch too much TV. This is Seo-Yeon's fault in the first place. Why would she blubber such information to my son.

I quickly stood up from the couch and turned off the TV which earned a groaned from Young-Hwi.

'Omma!' Young-Hwi groaned looking at me with a dismayed face.

'I'm hungry Young-Hwi.' She took her son's hand and usher him to the kitchen despite his annoyance. 'Let's have our lunch now and I'll prepare you for school huh?'

'Omma..appa!' he pouted pointing at TV. Everytime Young-Hwi pouts his mouth I would always remember  Tae-Goo. 'Appa!' he cried calling for his appa. I took a depp breath planning to kill Seo-Yeon for doing this to my son.

'Gwenchana..' I picked him up and held him tight, rubbing his back with my hand. 'It's because he's busy working, did you see that?' I'm glad Young-Hwi is still young and doesn't understand what he saw in TV. I wiped his tears. 'Stop crying, if appa knows you're crying he might worry about you and get sick, and so it might be a while before he gets home.'

'Appaaaa!' he cried more. 'Omma, its been a long time since appa went to my school. I miss appa, omma.' He said in between his tears.

'What?' I almost loosen my hold on him with what he just said. I quickly placed him in the chair and held his hands tight. I smoothen his hair and wiped his tears as I try to calm myself with this sudden news. How did he know? When did he start going there? I know I can't just Young-Hwi all these questions, it will be too much for him. 'Young-Hwi..' I started slowly and smiled at him. 'Were you happy seeing appa?'

'Neh omma. We always play together in the playground.'

'The one in TV earlier was that appa that came to visit you?' I need to be sure it's really him.

'Weh omma, do I have another appa?'

I shook my head smiling widely. 'Just him. He didn't told me he visits you.'

'Its because he's scared of you omma. He said you're mad at him.' he answered playing with his fingers.

Good that he knows that. I cleared my throat to ask but Young-Hwi continued.

'Omma, don't be mad at appa please, I told him I don't have any appa and that he should live here like my classmates omma and appa, they live in one house.'

'Arasso Young-Hwi..' I feel bad for Young-Hwi for being in the situation like this. 'Ahm..when did you start seeing appa in school?'

'When I started going there. I saw him walking in the school and remember auntie Seo-Yeon told me he's my appa.'

So it's been a while.

'Are you still mad at him? I can tell him you're not mad. Don't you miss appa, omma? Do you cry too if you don't see appa?'

Aigoo..my son has a lot of questions. I messed his hair, smiling at him.

Mi-Na was sitting in the corner of the restaurant while she waits for Dr Lee. Her mind was on what Young-Hwi told her last weekend and wonder why she doesn't see Tae-Goo everytime she went to school for Young-Hwi. So it's been a while since he know about Young-Hwi and why did he never bother to contact me about it? I'm not worried about him seeing our son, I know he'll never do anything to harm him. Young-Hwi is our son afterall.

Mi-Na stilled uncomfortably in her seat when Dr Lee arrived with their food in a tray. Mi-Na drew her breath very slowly and smiled at Dr Lee.

'Gwenchana?' Dr Lee asked as he placed my order in front of me.

'Yes.' I forced a smile at him.

Dr Lee continued to look at her with concern.

'Ya, stop looking at me. I told you I'm okay.' I looked down and started stirring my ramyeon.

'It's just  you seem to be agitated lately.' Dr Lee spoke softly.

'I'm okay Dr Lee.' I assured him again.

'Is it about your son?'

I shook my head, asking him to let the topic rest.

Dr Lee has been always there for me. A rumour could have started about us, it's just they know I'm married and my husband is in abroad working. I'm thankful that cover up has been very effective.

In the weeks that followed at home, Mi-na was conflictingly pleased and disapppointed that Young-Hwi have never mentioned about her appa. She was hoping her son would mention it but she was afraid to ask first. Knowing Young-Hwi's blabbering mouth for sure he would tell his father that I asked about him. Aigoo, that would be embarassing. Where the hell would my pride be on that? 

Sometimes her heart would beat excitedly when her son would shout 'appa' while watching TV. Tell my why is he really on TV most of the time? She also hoped she would see him in school but the man was really keeping a low profile and doing his best not to meet her. I'm not sure why I started to react this way, I think I really need closure between us.

'I'm sorry, I'm late.' I told my assistant as I enter my clinic, catching my breath. After fixing my office I told her to have my first patient enter.

'Anyeong haseyo Dr Yoo'

I smiled at the pretty lady who took her seat across me. We were in the middle of our discussion about her condition when a familiar face poked inside my office.

'Oh, Hyun-Ho?'

'Miyanhe Dr Yoo, he is my cousin and referred me to your clinic.'

'Oh kre..kre..come inside and seat.' my nerves started to bundle surprised at seeing Hyun-Ho after a very long time. I continued to talk to my patient trying to ignore Hyun-Ho but I think I lost my concentration. When I can't think of any question anymore, I scheduled her for the next appointment and hopefully Hyun-Ho won't come anymore.

'Oppa, are we heading to Tae-oppa's place?'

It took me a lot of effort not to look at them and continue to pretend I was writing.

'Ani, he's going somewhere today.'

'Oh? Is he going to Jeju with his celebrity girlfriend? We can follow them oppa.'

'Ya..ya! Shhh..'

I sensed Hyun-Ho looking at me so I took all my courage and look at them and smile. 'Take care in going home.'

So that's why he's on TV most of time, that celebrity is his girlfriend. Good for him, he's doing well.

I persistently honk on the cars in front of me. Weh? Weh? I almost curse the traffic, of all the time why it has to be now when I am in a hurry to be in Young-Hwi's school. I was out of my office for a meeting and when I returned I checked my phone and saw several calls from the Young-Hwi's teacher.

M-Na was a bundle of nerves when she arrived at her son's classroom seeing Tae-Goo was there with their son sitting on his lap while he talks with the teacher. I was petrified and almost numb upon realizing that this will be the first time they will see each other for a long time and with their son. And why was I summoned in the school? Did Young-Hwi had a fight with his classmates? What did he do? Was he hurt? I never imagined we we'll be together in one place like a family. Family..

When Mi-Na knocked in the door all eyes turned to him and Young-Hwi immediately came running to her.

'Gwenchana Young-Hwi?' she crouched and looked at her son's face intently searching for any brusies but there was none.

'Omma..' her son sobbed at her shoulder hugging her tightly.

'It's okay, I'm here.' I slowly stood up, carrying Young-Hwi in my arms as I walk towards the teacher's table.

'Anyeong haseyo Dr Yoo.' Young-Hwi's teacher stood up. Her black hair was braided at her back. The teacher's eyes slowly turned to Tae-oppa. 'Ahm, miyanhe I have to call Young-Hwi's father. We were calling you but no one was answering.'

'It's okay sonseangnim.' I wonder how they know Tae-oppa was the father. I didn't put his contact details in Young-Hwi's personal information sheet. 

As soon as we reach the table, Young-hwi called for his appa reaching his hands towards him. I let go of him and allowed Tae-oppa to carry him and took our seat in front of the teacher. I was seated with a distant from them when Young-Hwi called me.

'Seat here omma.' pointing to the chair beside his father. I took a deep breath and look at Tae-oppa who didn't even bother to look at me and was just busy with his son. I ignored him as well and move to the chair Young-Hwi pointed. As soon as I seat next to him, I feel heat radiating from him or is just me being overly conscious. I wanted to scold my body for reacting to Tae-oppa this way. I cleared my throat and asked the teacher what happened.

'Miyanhe for calling you Dr Yoo, it's just Young-Hwi had a fight with his classmate earlier. He got mad and punch his classmate for breaking his toy. I already talked to Young-Hwi's appa here and explained what happened.'

'Omma look..' Young-Hwi held his toy robot in front of me with its arms separated from the body.

'Miyanhe Young-Hwi that your toy is broken but you shouldn't have hit your classmate.'

'It was just right -

'Young-Hwi..' Tae-oppa and I called out his name at the same time making us look into each other. I quickly turned away from him not able to held his intent look into me. I swallowed a lump and apologized to the teacher for my son's behaviour. I continued talking with the teacher for a while and Tae-oppa from time to time joins the conversation and I was doing my best to ignore him. Why is he even bothering to interject our conversation as if he had been there from the very beginning.

As they left the room, Mi-na talked to Young-Hwi, trying to avoid the awkwardness between the three of them. Both she and Tae-opp were holding Young-Hwi's hands.

'Young-hwi I didn't teach you to fight with your classmates. You should be good with them.'

'But he broke my toy omma. That's not good either!'

'Your classmate didn't mean it Young-Hwi.'

'He meant it appa.' He peeled his hands away from our hold. 'I was holding the robot showing how it works like this..' he stopped walking and mimic what happened earlier. '..and then suddenly he hit my robot with his book. Then my robot was lying in the floor and its arm was broken. You paid for this omma, we shouldn't waste your money.'

'I'll just get you a new one.'

'Don't, it's okay.'  I told Tae-oppa still not looking at him.

'Oh, really appa?' Young-Hwi turned to his appa ignoring what I said. His smiles was big and excitement in his eyes for his new toy. 'Let's buy it now.' he pulled Tae-oppa's hand.

'Ani. We need to go home Young-Hwi, your halmeoni is waiting for us.'

'But I want to buy my toy with appa..'

'Young-Hwi!' I called him again so he'll stop whinning. Not now Young-Hwi don't make me mad in front of your appa, my mind pleaded.

'I'll can bring it to you next time Young-Hwi..'

I almost cried hearing him say our son's name and with that soft look he is giving our son. It was is he was calling hyung who was very close to him. I blinked a few times to stop my tears from falling and swallowed the lump in my throat.

'Arasso appa, let me play in the slide okay?' But he was already running to the playground leaving us to follow him.

I sat in the bench watching Young-Hwi run back and forth in the slide laughing his heart out. I envy Young-Hwi, he was just hurt earlier and now he is bursting with happiness. Why can't mature people be like that?

Anyone can see the awkwardness between us, both of us seated at the end of each side, not talking. I should say something..think..think Mi-Na. My eyes keep darting his way but his undivided attention was on Young-Hwi.

'Be careful Young-Hwi.' Tae-oppa shouted at our son. I watched how his eyes turned huge everytime Young-Hwi will leap, the smile plastered in his lips is so wide as if nothing can make him grim. I could almost hear his deep laughter. It's obvious his sone makes him happy. Office hours is done but he doesn't look tired, as a matter of fact he was oozing with with energy and masculinity. Every female teacher passing by looks at his direction. I shook my head, erasing where my thought is heading.

'Don't spoil Young-Hwi. We have enough of what we need.' I looked at him which I realized was a bad thing since he was watching me as well. It was too late to turn the other way. Our eyes met and the air got thicker as we stared at each other. His eyes were deep and unreadable as he look into me intently. It was hard to tell what he is thinking.

'Let me make it up to him Mi-Na.' He drawled slowly as if he's trying to be careful with me. 'I owe you and Young-Hwi a lot, so just let me be. Our son is priceless, what you've been through alone. I have failed you time and time again Mi-Na. I don't even think I deserve knowing him but I just couldn't contain myself. I thought looking at him from afar would be enough but it wasn't..'

'It's okay, you're his father, you have the right to know about him. Just don't get too attached.' I blurted my fear.

'What? How is that possible?' He asked in dismay, eyes narrowing suspiciously. 'Why can't I be attached with him?' He demanded.

'Look, I don't want him to know you're here and who knows when you'll be gone. I want him to know that people in his life doesn't just come and go.'

'And you're saying that's not me?'

'What do you think?' I stood up and called Young-Hwi. 'Time to go home.' I ignored Tae-oppa's piercing look at me, obviously he is not pleased with my decision.

'Arasso omma.' Young-Hwi run towards her and turned to Tae-oppa, taking his hand. 'Appa, gaja!.'