I heard pd-nim's queue that the show is about to go live in a few minutes. I took a deep breath, reminding myself to speak slowly and calm. It's not my first time to be a guest on TV but it always make me nervous, I should have gotten used to this.

Host: Dr Yoo, thank you for being here. One of my favorite clinical pyschologist.

Dr Yoo: Thank you!

Host: I really like when Dr Yoo is here, her topics she shares is very interesting.

Dr Sung: You're a great host as well.

Host: Today Dr Sung will talk about Borderline Personality Disorder.

Dr Yoo: *Borderline Personality Disorder is a disorder of instability and impulsive, we want to look it that way. By instability, it includes instability in relationship, roots, behavior and instability in their sense of self. So the world feels like its always moving up and down for them. Finally, there's also a tremendous fear of abandonment, that always cuts through this disorder. So people with borderline personality, in addition to all that instability, live in chronic fear or real or even perceive abandonment. For example if someone is late for dinner, that could be foreseen as abandoment and their response to that is very strong, often very angry, very upsetting not only for the person with bordeline personality but for the other people involved.

'You seem to have a good day to be grinning like that despite your interview earlier that was really mind blowing.' So-Yeon turned to Deok-Mi as she removed her coat before sitting. She looked around So-Yeon's cafe which is always packed.

'Oh well!' She shrugged her shoulder remembering the discussion earlier in the interview. I took the cup of coffee So-Yeon placed in my table to sip while browsing at my phone. 'Work is work So-Yeon, I'm glad I could finally take a leave.'

'Should I come Mi-na?' So-Yeon's eyes turned round with excitement.

'As much as I want to, you know you can't' So-Yeon.' I sighed deeply remembering why I was going there. Omma called last night informing me of the update on hyng's whereabout. They finally found him working for a huge company. It was weird knowing the company was famous but we didn't know immediately that he was working there. I guess he was really hiding and doesn't want to be caught.

'Aish Mi-na! For once can you do something for yourself? All your life you followed what your family wants, even your profession is not your choice. At this age you should be dating?' She quickly shook her head. 'Ani! Married by now.'

'Who said that? I don't have to date at this age just because others are. Besides you're still single So-Yeon.' I rolled my eyes at her.

'Excuse me?! I am dating Mi-na!'

'Arasso!'

'When you get there, make sure you give time for yourself. I hope you'll find someone with handsome appearance and model-look-alike with a good looking figure that can melt your heart with his eyes and smile. Kyaaa...'

I looked down at So-Yeon's hand in my arm as she squeleed with excitement for me. I hope I can really have that now, but I don't think it will be easy. I won't be happy unless my family is together.

'Be safe Mi-na'

I read omma's text as I board the plane. I took a lot of photos while inside the plane, I should make this memorable somehow. I plan to upload it later in my insta. I'm really excited for the whole trip, I hardly sleep plotting my plan to get my brother.

After almost 14 hours I finally saw Madrid from the air. My chest was pounding with the thought of being in the same land as my brother whom I have not seen for 10 years and at the same time scared at how it will be for me in a foreign land. I walked towards the exit of the arrival area looking for the hospital staff that will meet me. An arrangement with a health organization has been set for a short talk in my first week of stay.

I saw my name in a signage held by a man wearing a black coat and slack, accompanied by two other men standing on his side. I waved at them.

'Anyeong haseyo Dr Yoo.'

'Omo, Korean!' I feel like jumping seeing these people. Daebak, the hospital staff are so kind. I feel at ease seeing Koreans around me. One man took my luggage bag and the other man was leading me. We chatted for a while and I learned they've been working in Madrid for several years already. Because of my tiredness, sleep caught up with me. I didn't know how long I slept but I feel head throbbing. I flutter my eyes open and realized the car is already in halt and I was alone inside the car. How long did we stop? I looked outside and saw a few man standing outside the car and we not in a hotel but this looks like a mansion. I turned my head and saw a huge black gate, standing around the white painted mansion are men in black coat and slack. They wore ear buds with a cord going through their back. The surroundings is giving me a chill, this is definitely not the hotel.

I decided to step outside and the men immediately stood aside revealing an old man. His smile makes me frown, it's as if he has known me already. I noticed he is a Korean as well.

'Anyeong Dr Yoo!'

I bow slightly in my greeting, giving him my curious look.

'Are you alright? It has been a long trip right?' He looked at me worried and I nod giving him a tight-lip smile.

'Where am I?' Who are they and how did I end up here? I'm trying to remove from my thought that I've been kidnapped but it seems though and by Koreans?

'Take her inside.' the old man commanded.

My eyes quickly moved to the two man approaching. 'No!' I start to panic. 'Ahjussi' I called out to the old man who is already walking ahead of us. 'What is going on? Tell me, please. Why am I here?' I shouted at him but he never look back. I turned to the man who are holding me now. 'Ahjussi please let me go.'

'I'm sorry Dr Yoo, if you will just follow, nothing bad will happen to you.'

I tried to peel my hand from them. 'Dr Yoo please calm down, we will not harm you. Our master need something from you.' They tried to pull me back but I was desperate. If I stay here, I won't be able to find my brother, I only have three months to do that. I might not get out alive here. With all my strength, I pushed the other men but he suddenly grabs my arm pushing to the car making me groan as my back hit it.

I sign in defeat seeing there's nothing I can do to run away.

'Please do as the master say and you won't be hurt. Trust me.'

Wow, that's big word for him to ask. How could I trust them after abducting me? I tried to wiggle free but the other man just tightened his hold on me. 'You people are disgraced to our country!' I hissed at them.

'Master will tell you everything once you are rested Dr Yoo.'


I woke up hearing the sound of a steps near me. I almost fell out of bed from scrambling in fear seeing a stranger move inside the bedroom they gave me last night.

'Anyeong haseyo Dr Yoo.' I guy slightly bowed down at me. I quickly stood up from the bed, grasping the comforter in my chest.

'What do you want?' I almost shouted at him, not trusting his soft look and bright smile.

'Miyanhe for waking you up. It's just its almost noon time and we're worried getting worried..'

'Arasso. I'll just change..' I went to my luggage room but turned to they guy that was still standing beside my bed. 'I have to change I said so you can wait outside.'

'Oh, neh..' he quickly took a step outside smiling. I shook my head irritated by his smile. How can that guy smile in this situation?

I took my time showering and dressing up. I don't know what awaits me outside but whatever it is, at least I would somehow look good in case they decide to end my life.

'Thank for waiting..'

'Hyun-ho..Oh Hyun-ho.' he completed his name. 'Let me take you to master's office he's waiting for you.'

The creaking sound of the door as it opens sends me chill, the huge office in dim added to what I'm feeling. Ahjussi's smiling face greet me. I wonder how Hyun-ho and this old man can smile in this place. I wanted to feel remorse for this old man, but I can't find anything in my heart. Despite his strong face, one can feel loneliness in his eyes. Last night when I entered the mansion, I immediately felt the coldness of the place. It was huge and has the latest furnitures but I easily felt how 'empty' the house was. I wonder where the men I saw last night are staying.

'I know your hungry so I will be direct to my point.' he starts and I watch him pull out something from the chest pocket of his coat and placed it in the table between us.

I gaped at him upon seeing the photo of my brother. I took it with my trembling hand, seeing the face of my brother aged broke my heart. I felt my chest tightening, I immediately covered my mouth with my other hand to stop myself from bursting in front of ahjussi. I miss you hyung, my heart cries. I smiled remembering when he asked me to call hyung instead of oppa. He said he prefers that he is my best friend so I can tell everything about him.

'How do you know him?' I ask slowly as I wiped the tears in my eyes.

'Young-Hwi?' He stood up, walked towards the back of the couch. 'He works for Tae-Goo, my son.'

'Where is he? I want to see him. I've been -'

'Looking for him?'

'How -'

'Listen' he sat at the edge of the couch I am sitting. 'Young - Hwi can return with you to Korea but..' He looked down hesitating then looked at me again 'I need your help first.'

I swallowed sensing trouble in what he is about to say. 'How? As long is it's not illegal, I'm willing to help.'

'My son Tae-Goo needs professional help, badly but he won't hear a word of it.' He turned away from me, dabbing his eyes with a handkerchief he took from his pocket. I don't who has misfortune between us, me on getting my brother or him troubled by his son. 'I took him from Korea just last month because he was involved in a murder case with a triad. He was able to get away from the prosecution since he was diagnosed with a mental disorder. I had to pay huge amount of money to move him here. I worry that he'll getworst if he stays in the mental facilities there. I promised the judge that I'll get him treated. They will check on him after a few months.'

Murder?? And his son get away with it and is now leaving free here in Madrid? I couldn't voice out my thoughts, afraid that ahjussi would react violently on me.

'Treat him Dr Yoo, in return you and your brother can go back to Korea.'

'What if I couldn't?'

He looked straight into my eye before answering. 'Miyanhe, there's no way you could leave the place.'

I purse my lips and close my eyes. It was better that I look for my brother alone than involve in this deal but how could I? There's no way to erase in my mind what he just told me. I haven't been really into watching news in TV but I heard about the triad war last month. It has been also a constant topic in the dining table with my parents during the time the issue was hot. I'm sure there is another way to get hyung, I need to see him first and convinced him to come with me. Once he is convinced I'm sure he can find a way for us to go.

'Don't start planning something in your head. It will only be futile. Young - Hwi is very close with Tae-Goo, they treat each other us brother. The only way Young - Hwi will leave Tae-Goo is if Tae-Goo himself allows him to leave.'

Surprised at how he was able to read my mind.

After lunch Hyun-Ho toured me around the mansion. The place was really huge but its so lacking, I'm not sure what - laughter? There are enough people, you could say many people than required. The place is highly guarded making me wonder what Mr Mo's business is. His son was involved in triad? Could it be they have underground business? I shook my head, removing the scary thoughts in my mind. The men around could easily shoot me anytime and then I'll die. We continued walking in the garden. They probably have a gardener who maintains this part of the mansion. The flowers are beautiful, even the lanscape are well architected.

'What's Korea nowadays?' Hyun-Ho asked with his eyes-lit in curiosity.

'Developing I would say. More high rise buildings, you know. I don't know how it's around here in Madrid.' I sign knowing that going out to stroll has a low chance of happening.

'I could take you sometime if you want.'

I find his enthusiasm cute. Hyun-ho seems to be innocent as if what's around him is just normal and doesn't bother him a bit. I scan his youthful look feeling bad for him. Aigoo, why do I feel sorry for him and ahjussi? How they missed out 'life'. 'You've never been to Korea?' 

'I was born there but live my entire life here. Master adopted me when I was just a little boy from an orphanage and we moved here.'

'Oh?' interesting, that old man really had a soft spot on him. My curiosity starts to grow about him and Mo's family. How did the son ended up with a mental problem? Or did he really have a mental problem? I have a lot of questions but I remember ahjussi saying not to ask.

'It's better that you don't know a lot since you are just leaving. The less you know, the less you get involved the more it will be easier for you to go.'

Was his exact words. I won't inform Tae-Goo that I'm a psychiatrist about to treat him and wait for him to open up to me.

'I will graduate next year. I'm excited to work on Master's business.' he suddenly shares making me look into him. What's the family business? My mind wanted to ask, I should probably know that atleast. We stopped by the pond and I smiled looking at the fishes swimming in the pond.

'How's Tae-Goo-ssi like?'

'Hyung Tae-Goo?' His smile was instantly gone. 'Why do you ask? Have you met him?'

So Hyun-Ho doesn't know why I'm here. I wonder what ahjussi told him about me.

The sound of a shot of a gun made me squealed, and the next thing I saw was a fish floating in the pond with its blood circling on it. My eyes turning round with what happened, I covered my mouth in unbelief, my eyes beginning to wet. Omo..the fish..the innocent fish that was just swimming is now dead?

'Hyung..' Hyun-Ho nervously turned to the sound of footsteps nearing us. I held on to Hyun-Ho's arms I step back still looking at the poor dead fish.

'Did I hit it Hyun-Ho?' I deep husky-voice made me still. I felt Hyun-Ho's arm tightening under my hold.

'Hyung you shouldn't..-'

'I shouldn't shoot them?' he hissed under his breath, firing the gun a few times more.

I was rooted in my place with a hand in my mouth as I looked at the man, smiling as he fires his gun with a cigarette at the side of his mouth. His hard face is enough warning not to cross against him, how dangerous and impulsive he can be. My heart starts to pound in my chest. I took a step back couldn't bear to continue watching him but he turned to me, aiming his gun at me with a frightening smile in his lips.

Am I about to die with those fishes? I looked at him with my eyes trembling. My breath hitch in my chest at the sound of a gunshot hissing near my neck.

*Dr Durvasula 8/19/2018 interview with MedCircle