They were only about an hour into their journey and the sun had fully set, leaving them in darkness deep within the thickest part of the forest when the carriage suddenly jolted with the sickening and unmistakable sound of splintering wood.  The horses both spooked at the loud and unexpected noise.

     “Whoa,” Jinki commanded, pulling the beasts up in an antsy halt before climbing down from his perch and grabbing onto the bridle to try to steady the animals.  

     “What is going on?” Miss Gwiboon called out to him.

     “Please stay in the carriage, m’lady,” Jinki responded, taking a moment to sooth the scared horses, running his hand down the plane of each of their faces in turn until they were both calm before he began to inspect the carriage.  He grabbed a lantern but it was a pitiful source of light in such darkness.

     It didn’t take long before his fingers transitioned from smooth wood to sharp splinters, identifying the problem but that only made him utter a few curses under his breath.  The beam had nearly snapped in half. He couldn’t see a damn thing with only this lantern to guide him and there was no way they could continue their journey like this. His mind whirled with the possible solutions but he still kept coming up short.  There wasn’t a village between here and the palace and without getting a good look at the underside of the carriage, he couldn’t be sure he would be capable of fixing it well enough to get them home. It seemed he had few options and the safest plan was the wait until sunrise to assess the damage, fix it if possible, otherwise ride ahead for help and to fetch another carriage to bring Miss Gwiboon back.  

     “M’lady,” Jinki called, knocking on the carriage door.  She opened it immediately, impatient to see what the problem was.  “It seems the carriage has suffered damages. I fear we must stay here tonight.  I shall try to mend it in the daylight so we can continue on to the palace,” he explained. 

     What?  Stay here?  In the middle of the forest?” Her eyes widened in shock and fear.

     “My apologies, m’lady.  Without proper lighting it is difficult to even determine the full scope of the damage, I cannot be sure it will be safe to travel,” he explained.

     “Can’t you ride on ahead?” Gwiboon questioned, perplexed by their situation.

     “And leave m’lady alone in the dark of night in the forest?  It would take hours before I could return to fetch you. It is not safe, m’lady.  If I must leave you to ride on ahead I would much prefer to wait until daylight,” Jinki replied.      

     “We shall freeze to our death out here!” She exclaimed.

     “The carriage will block out the wind and I packed many blankets for the journey.  I apologize for any discomfort m’lady but please understand,” he said quietly, handing her the remaining blankets.

     “Preposterous.  Royal carriage? It can’t even make a simple day trip!  Am I so low to warrant being treated like this? And now I must sleep in the forest with a stable boy!  The gossip that shall follow me upon my return,” Gwiboon whined, more to herself than anything. Jinki stood silent beside her, head bowed as he waited for her to calm down.  

     “I’m sorry, m’lady.  Please, rest inside the carriage.  It is very cold and I wouldn’t want you to get ill.  I must tend to the horses but please let me know if you need anything,” Jinki bowed before turning away, unhitching the horses and tethering them to a nearby tree that had a small patch of grass for them to graze.  He used up the last bit of their water feeding the horses, having to settle for ale himself and splitting the apple Miss Gwiboon hadn’t eaten that morning between the two animals. They had eaten oats at the manor so neither animal was wanting for anything except a warm stall.

     Once the horses were settled he dimmed the lanterns and grabbed a thin blanket for himself as well as his knapsack before settling against the tree that offered the most protection against the wind.  He leaned back, staring up at the pitch black canopy of trees, the faintest hint of moonlight peaked through the rustling leaves to paint shadows all around him. Rather than being frightened, it brought a sense of comfort to him, he had always loved being outdoors, listening to the life all around them.  Jinki pulled his knees up into his chest, burying his nose under the thin woven blanket to hide from the cold but he knew that he was in for a long, restless night. Jinki could hear Miss Gwiboon muttering to herself inside the carriage, the noble woman clearly didn’t know how to deal with anything outside of her control.  

     “Where are the extra blankets?” She called out, sounding less angry and more defeated than before.

     “These are the only blankets we have, m’lady,” Jinki answered softly.

     “It’s so cold,” he heard her mutter, her tone thick as if she were holding back tears.  Jinki frowned, she made it a point to show off her strength, she wouldn’t cry over something so small... would she?

     However, when he heard the distinctive sound of sniffling he couldn’t deny it any longer.  She was a noble woman; she wasn’t accustomed to sleeping anywhere outside of her warm bed. With a sigh, his gentlemanly duty took over and he pulled himself to his feet.  His wool shirt did little to block the frigid wind as his shoulders shuddered in protest of the cold.  

     He knocked on the carriage door softly, not wanting to startle her.

     “What do you want now?” She called, her voice a pitch too high.

     “M’lady, may I open the door?” Jinki asked.

     When she didn’t respond he pulled the carriage door open, passing the flimsy, woven blanket to her.  She stared at him wide-eyed and confused.

     “Please stay warm, m’lady.  I will work on fixing the carriage at first light so you can get back to the palace as quickly as possible,” Jinki bowed, securing the door and making his way to where the horses were teathered.  As best he could, he covered himself using the horses saddle pads, curling his knees into his chest to get as much of his body covered. It was going to be a long night.

     “Boy—Jin-- I-- it’s too cold.  Get in the carriage, it’ll be warmer that way,” she demanded.

     Jinki looked up in surprise, “M’lady! I could never-- I’m fine.”

     “I wasn’t talking about you.  I’m about to catch my death. Get in the carriage.  That is an order,” He could hear the uncertainty in her voice but her words still left little room for argument. 

     Jinki looked a bit stunned but followed her order, grabbing his things and sliding into the carriage and taking the seat farthest from her.  

     “I can’t very well have you catching a cold and dying before you can get this carriage fixed, now can I,” she said flippantly as Jinki continued to eye her in confusion.  

     “Whatever you say, m’lady,” Jinki whispered, making no further comments as Gwiboon scoffed at the blanket in her hands and practically threw it at him.  

     He tried to hide his confusion; every interaction with her seemed to leave Jinki baffled, she was nothing like the nobles he was used to dealing with.  She tried so hard to keep up this facade of being emotionless and cold as ice but it always seemed to crumble right before Jinki’s eyes. She was different, soft towards the needs of others and Jinki didn’t know how to interpret that.  

     The air hung heavy between, tension thick and dripping around them, and only the sound of their breathing could be heard in the dark carriage.  It was warmer inside the carriage, the icy wind howling around them without slipping past the doors and as the minutes passed their body heat began to merge to warm the small space.

     “I’m sorry, m’lady.  I know this must be a hardship for you to endure,” Jinki finally whispered, breaking through the fragile air between them.

     “Nothing to be done I suppose,” Gwiboon responded, noticeably calmer than she’d been before.

     “Still, I apologize for sullying your trip with such concerns.”

     “Why do you always apologize for things outside of your control?” She asked, even in the dark, Jinki could feel her eyes on him. 

     Jinki smile was tinged at the corners with bitterness.  Jinki had spent his whole life apologizing for things outside of his control, it was the only way he knew how to talk to a noble.  Despite their current situation or even their short history, he wasn’t about to try to explain the intricacies of class differences to her.  Rather than responding, he met her with another question, “Your stay was pleasant, m’lady?”

     “Yes it was.  And you?”

     Jinki was a bit taken aback by her question.  Why was she taking such an interest in him? She seemed to be breaking through all norms as Jinki understood them. “Yes, m’lady.  It was my first time seeing the northern city.”

     “And?  How did you think it?”

     “It was pleasant,” was all he could think to say.  He had enjoyed the experience, to see new sights and try new food.  While he liked living near the palace, it was nice to do something different if only for a brief time. 

     “Where are you from Jinki?  Your accent is not of the capital,” she asked. 

     “I’m from the south, m’lady.  A small village along the border,” he answered, allowing himself to slip deeper into conversation with her.  Despite their differences, something about the darkness of night and the cocoon of warmth within the carriage made it easier to talk to her, to open up when he would normally choose his words with care.

     “May I ask what brought you to the palace?”  Her voice was soft, not demanding an answer but she seemed to be pulling the words from his mouth anyway.

     “Work, m’lady.  My father was a farrier but he passed before he could teach me his trade.  With my mother and three littles ones to be cared for we hadn’t the time or money for me to take an apprenticeship so I went looking for work.”  

     Under the veil of darkness it was easy for Jinki to forget about her station, forget his place, and Gwiboon seemed content to let the formalities slip away.  After their mishap in the forest he was more confident that she would listen without judgment and he didn’t have to fear repercussions for every slip of the tongue.  It made it that much easier to be honest now that a foundation of trust and understanding had been built between them. 

     “Responsibility.  The curse of the eldest,” Gwiboon muttered more to herself but Jinki heard it nonetheless.  “So how did you end up at the stables?”

     “I was lucky enough to meet Madame Kim, the head cook from the palace.  She found me in the market place and took pity on a poor country boy. She gave me shelter and a hot meal and eventually found me a position as an errand boy.  It was discovered that I had a knack for horses so to the stables I went. There I’ve stayed for nearly half my life now. The work is honest and the pay, fair.  I am able to support my family without being left wanting for myself,” he explained. It had been a difficult time of transition for him but he could look back on it fondly now.  He was luckier than most and for that he was grateful. 

     “You miss them?”

     “My family?  Very much so.”

     “Tell me about them?”

     “M’lady?” He felt like they were teetering on the edge of… something.  Talking about his family, his life outside of the palace was a deeper, more intimate question then he’d been prepared to answer. 

     “I do not feel the heaviness of sleep yet and your voice is soothing to my ears.  Tell me,” She responded but her tone gentle and inviting.

     “Yes, m’lady.  My mother is a weaver and she sells her craft around the neighboring villages.  She is a gentle woman, caring. She often spends her spare time helping at the nunnery, baking bread for the hungry and tending to the gardens outside the church.  We may have little but we want for nothing and the sight of souls in need has always softened her heart. From what she tells me, my brother is growing into a strapping young lad.  He works the fields now and quite proud of the muscles he is building up,” Jinki let out a small laugh as mental images of his baby brother filled his mind. It was hard to imagine him as a young man now.  

     “I also have two sisters.  The eldest is due to be married this next spring.  She has trained on the loom with my mother since she was a young girl and from what I hear, her soon to be husband is a fine man who will care for her well. The youngest is still but a child.  She helps my mother in the kitchen and tending to the house. She also helps in the gardens and she seems to have taken an interest in plants and herbal healing. My mother hopes to have her study under the healer in our village,” Jinki trailed off, running out of things to say.  He wasn’t used to talking about his personal life. It was both therapeutic and painful to share about his family whom he hadn’t seen in so long. “W-what of you, m’lady?” Jinki dared to ask in return.

     “Myself?  I have but one sibling, a younger sister.  She’s- she’s a sweet, gentle soul, untouched by the evils of this world.  She is a better person than I; all of my shortcomings are her greatest characteristics.  I miss her dearly,” Jinki could hear the sincerity of her words.  

     “It must be difficult for you, living away from home,” Jinki commented.

     “Tis no different for you,” She replied.

     “Ay, but I am much older than m’lady,” Jinki pointed out.  He was accustomed to being on his own, however this was her first time away from loved ones.  It got easier to deal with as the years went by but Jinki did not forget the lonely nights of missing his family so much he felt he could die from longing.    

     “You are not much older than I,” Gwiboon argued.

     “This winter I will be six and twenty, m’lady,” Jinki informed her with a knowing quirk to his lips.

     “That’s-- a few years my senior,” Gwiboon conceded, “However, you hardly look your age,” making Jinki chuckle at her argumentative nature.  Even in admitting her mistake she felt it necessary to justify such an innocent transgression.  

     “And m’lady?” Jinki asked, his eyes felt heavy, the carriage felt warmer and the conversation was comfortable..

     “I am seven and ten years,” She replied.  

     Jinki chuckled again, “Ay, as I said, I am much older.”  

     “You make me sound but a child,” Gwiboon retorted, the faintest hint of a pout in her tone.

     “Of course not, m’lady, but I was not much younger than yourself when I moved into the palace.  While many summers have passed, I still remember the hardship of loneliness.”

     Gwiboon was silent for a moment before venturing to ask, “Have you been back to visit?”

     Jinki sad smile was lost in the darkness, “The horses do not stop eating long enough to allow me time for such a trip.”

     “How do you manage?”

     “I’m away from them because I must be.  I work at the palace to provide for them; our livelihood depends on it.  If I were back with them, my heart would be heavy for we would all be suffering.  Being separated is what keeps us alive. Like a rose, some buds must be cut to make the bush thrive.  The knowledge that the suffering of my heart is what is best for the ones I love is what makes it possible for me to continue each day,” Jinki’s words were heavy with the weight of honesty.  He missed his family, everyday his heart aching to see his mother’s face, to trace the lines of age etched into her skin. It pained him to think that he wouldn’t even be able to recognize his baby sister if he were to see her.  She had been the wee age of three when he had left home and now she was just a few years shy of the beautiful woman who sat before him now. He had missed seeing them grow and he had missed getting to know them. Those years were lost, never to return no matter how he ached for it.  The only relief came from knowing that his absence allowed them to live in comfort, warm and fed each night. It did nothing to chase away the loneliness, but it was enough to keep him going every day.

     “I think it best if we rest now,” Gwiboon’s voice was barely a breath.

     “Ay, m’lady,” Jinki responded, sinking deep into his thoughts and memories of the ones he missed most of all.  Sleep danced just out of his reach as he listened to the soothing sound of Gwiboon’s heavy breathing beside him, calming his mind and comforting his soul.