Jinki’s afternoon was dull.  Dull, dull, dull. What was one to do when they weren’t allowed to work or walk or move?  Once again, Jinki found himself missing his family more so than usual. If he were home, this mandatory break would feel like heaven.  Having time to spend with his mother and siblings; time to talk and laugh and enjoy each other. But Jinki was here, in the capital, alone.  His house felt stuffy and he was restless for something to do.  

     Jinki spent most of the day in bed, keeping his injured foot up on its mound of blankets.  He got up only to stoke the fire and prepare himself food. The pain was lessening in his ankle so the lack of use was obviously helping.  However, he was bored.  

     He tried not to think about Miss Gwiboon or her visit to his home.  It was too confusing of a situation and he knew he would drive himself mad if he tried to understand her.  The lines between them had grown fuzzy as their friendship had developed and her visit had opened Jinki’s eyes to just how close they had become.  The impropriety of it all was startling.  

     With the harvest festival on top of his usual workload and then the accident, Jinki hadn’t had a chance to paint in awhile.  He had a modest supply at home, most of his experimenting with different paint mediums or brushes was made at home and his better results taken to the palace where he spent more time.  He gathered his supplies but hadn’t made much headway on an actual painting yet. The tea the healer had given him made him drowsy and his head fuzzy and sitting without elevating his foot caused it to swell rather quickly.  

     As the sky began to darken he felt a growing excitement inside him.  Taemin had promised to visit him. While he of course looked forward to seeing the boy, he was more excited about a break from the monotony.  He got himself up and out of bed, pleasantly surprised at the lack of pain. It still hurt to bear the full brunt of his weight but it had improved much already.  He washed his face and changed into a clean shirt. Once he was ready he set the pot on to heat water for tea and prepared some dinner for the two of them. 

     Right on time, he heard a soft knock at his door.  “Taemin! Come in!”

     “Hi hyung, how are you feeling?” Taemin asked.  He set a bundle full of bread and cheese on the table and Jinki chuckled softly.  Madame Kim simply couldn’t help herself.  

     “Better.  Much better.  Come sit. You haven’t eaten yet, right?”  Jinki asked, setting the prepared tea on the table and arranging the food.

     “You don’t have to do that.  You shouldn’t be up anyway,” Taemin scolded.

     “Hush.  I’ve been home all day staring at my ceiling.  It is a refreshing change to have something to do.  Now tell me what happened today,” Jinki brushed him off.  He really was feeling better, his ankle holding his weight with only a slight protest.

     Taemin sat down, “Well, Joonha hyung asked me to take care of the wild one while you are gone.  She’s scary. All I did was bring her food and she kept kicking the door and nipping at me,” he informed the elder with a pout.

     Jinki laughed, “She takes awhile to warm up to people.  Try taking some time before you go in to let her get used to you.  Offer her a carrot and wait for her to come to you. She’s a gentle thing once she’s determined that you aren’t a threat.  She just needs some time,” Jinki assured him.

     “Okay, I’ll try it tomorrow,” Taemin promised.  

     “Anything else happen?” Jinki asked as he set the food on the table.

     Taemin began prattling about the stables, which worker said what and how many stalls he cleaned out.  Jinki just smile and began piling the food onto Taemin’s plate, the younger giving him a reproachful glare.  Jinki knew the younger hated to be babied after all but Jinki ignored him, just glad to have a distraction from his rather boring day. 

     “Joonha hyung says when you come back you can start training me on saddling the horses and even let me exercise a few!  He said he wants you to focus on training me because you have to take it easy for awhile because of your ankle,” Taemin informed him.  

     “I think Joonha is right.  You’ve been coming along well these past few weeks.  You deserve a chance to do something besides muck the stalls,” Jinki told him, smiling as Taemin’s chest puffed up with pride.  “And I wish everyone would stop worrying about me so much! I’ll be fine. I won’t come back without the physician's approval so there is nothing to worry about.”

     “Joonha hyung doesn’t care, you know that.  You won’t be doing heavy work until he says so which will be long after the physician says it’s okay,” Taemin giggled.

     Jinki laughed, “That is probably true.  That is one thing he and Madame Kim seem to agree on and they are a force to be reckoned with.”  He shook his head, a fond smile on his face. They cared for him and he appreciated it. His years at the palace would have been far more difficult and lonely without the two of them looking out for him.  “Are you excited to start some new training?” He asked. 

     “Actually, I’m a little nervous after what happened with Miss Gwiboon.  What if I mess up?” His shoulders hunching up as he said it. 

     “Taemin, I’ll be right there to help you.  So don’t worry. And I promise, not all nobles react quite so… strongly… to such things.  They are human too,” Jinki told him. Jinki had grown so used to Miss Gwiboon over the past few months, it was difficult to remember that others still saw her a sharp and difficult noble who’s presence was to be dreaded.  

     “If you say so, hyung…” Taemin responded in a less than reassured tone. 

     Once their plates were wiped clean it was time for Taemin to be on his way.  “Tell Joonha hyung and Madame Kim not to worry about me too much and take care of things while I’m gone, okay?”  

     I will,” Taemin promised, “Goodnight!  Rest well!”

     “See you tomorrow,” Jinki said as he watched Taemin ride off into the dark glow of evening.

~~~

     The next morning Jinki felt so much better, his ankle only showing the slightest hint of pain when he put pressure on it.  He took the opportunity to get some work done around his house. He was still conscious of taking it easy on his injury but he was able to get his clothes washed and his house tidy.  It kept him busy for the majority of the morning and gave him something to do. When he was done, he decided to pull out his painting supplies again and he settled down at the table. His mind flitted through various scenes, trying to settle on one to paint.  However, once the brush was in his hand, he found himself drawing a much different picture than he had planned. Instead, a scenic recreation of the meadow where he and Miss Gwiboon had first raced began to emerge on the parchment, the clouds in the sky and the sparse wildflowers that had yet to wither away from the cold.  In the corner he drew their horses, grazing lazily together near a tree. The painting brought a smile to his lips as the happy memory filled his mind. It was one of his better paintings and when his flipped through his brain, trying to decide what to do with the piece, the only person he could think of was Miss Gwiboon herself.  But that would be odd, wouldn’t it? While they might have this secret friendship when no one was looking, that didn’t mean they were close enough for Jinki to give her such a personal gift. But then again, she felt they were close enough to warrant secret visits. Jinki didn’t know where they stood, didn’t know what was considered acceptable anymore.  Every interaction seemed to surprise him more and more with each day. He left the painting on the floor, out of the way so it could dry and he tried to push it from his mind. Any question that was conjured in his mind seemed to lead in a direction he was unwilling to follow.   

     Jinki washed up, cleaning his brushed and spent the next few hours resting his ankle as he waited for Taemin to come. 

     It was a little while after the sun had set that he heard Sangchu nicker in happiness to be home.  Jinki went to greet them outside, not even limping. The horse greeted him by bumping his head into Jinki’s chest and giving him a slobbery kiss. 

      “Hey Taemin.  He’s not giving you any trouble is he?” Jinki asked, finding Sangchu’s favorite spot just under his chin and giving him a good scratch.  

     “Of course not.  He seems like he misses you though.  But I’m taking real good care of him, promise.  Our neighbor has a horse so he is letting me keep Sangchu in their stables for the time being.  So you don’t have to worry about anything,” Taemin assured him. 

     Jinki laughed, “I wasn’t worried at all.  I trust you.” Jinki assured him. While Taemin was still inexperienced with horses, he listened and learned well.  Sangchu was a docile beast and a good animal for Taemin to build up his confidence with.  

     Taemin puffed up with pride at his words, sliding down from the saddle and tying Sangchu up at the small barn.  “So how are you feeling? You are walking better today,” Taemin asked as they walked into the house. 

     “Definitely better.  It barely hurts at all today.  I think I could go back to work tomorrow if they would let me,” Jinki responded. 

     “Well you still have to stay home tomorrow too,” Taemin said, his voice stern and it caused Jinki to laugh.

     “Yes, I know.  But I promise, I’ll be as good as new tomorrow.  You don’t need to come tomorrow night and check up on me.  Just come early the next morning and we can ride to the stables together.  Okay?” Jinki suggested.  

     “Are you sure, hyung?”

     “Yeah, I’m sure.  I’m sure your mother wants to eat with you sometimes too.  Don’t worry about me. You can see I’m doing fine now. Just come in the morning,” Jinki assured him, ruffling his hair.  

     “Okay.  If you say so,” Taemin agreed.  He stayed long enough to fill Jinki in on the daily comings and goings of the stables before he rushed out the door, eager to get home to his family for the night.  

     After he cleaned up the table, he set a lantern on low beside him and pulled out a new piece of parchment.  As he began mixing a new set of colors together his mind kept lingering on his painting from earlier… kept lingering on Miss Gwiboon.  His mind always seemed to get muddled when he thought of her. She was so different from how she appeared on the surface and he really didn’t know how to define his feelings.  Friendship? Comradery? Nothing seemed to encompass his feelings properly. All he knew was that he liked spending time with her. Even if it was silly, even if it wasn’t something they should be doing, he enjoyed it and that scared him.

     He readied his brushes, looking down at his blank parchment and trying to clear his mind.  The thoughts and worries trickled away, leaving only the raw feelings behind and his whole being focused on the brush in his hand as it moved purposefully across the parchment.  He let his creativity take over; pushing everything else aside as he let those confusing, unidentified emotions take control of his hand.  

     Even Jinki himself was surprised to find another portrait before him, once again, a fierce young woman that was undeniably Miss Gwiboon.  However, this one was darker, more ominous than before, all harsh black lines with little splashes of color for emphasis. With a shaky hand, he placed one final , slashing the painting from corner to corner with a lone, solid streak of dark, blood red.  

     He sat back in his chair, breath catching in his throat at what sat before him.  The painting was startling. The emotion bled through with so much power it took him by surprise.  He could suddenly read so clearly what his mind had been hinting at all this time. He couldn’t deny it even if he wanted to.  The murmur that his heart made every time he interacted with her was a much bigger problem that Jinki had let himself believe. He liked her.  Not as a friend, but as a woman. He wasn’t confused, he was in denial. Because like the red streak said, Miss Gwiboon was not his. She wasn’t his to have or to even want.  Secret friendship or not, she was and would always be out of his reach and he would do well to remember the words of his subconscious. There was no room in her social class for the likes of him.  

     This new revelation of his subconscious left Jinki feeling drained and tinged with unexpected sadness.  It was like the past three days of rest hadn’t even happened. He wanted to crawl into his bed and sleep to escape the suffocating hurt that had settled on his chest.  Jinki had never had much time for women, always too focused on his work and his family to spend the time or energy on the idea of courting. He had always written it off as something he would do later, when his family was more stable.  Now for the first time, he had found a woman who struck his fancy, who made his heart race and made him so happy to just be in her presence. He had found her and she was not a woman he was allowed to want. However, this whole experience had taught him a valuable lesson, he had allowed himself to get too close with Miss Gwiboon.  There was an unsurpassable caste system in place and he knew better than to ever try to ignore it. He should be thankful the only thing damaged was his heart, but he had never realized how fragile of a thing the heart truly was.