D-175

“So, how are you today?” Kim Chaewon asks, pen and notebook sitting on her lap, one leg crossed over the other, and sitting comfortably on her one-seater couch across from Eunbi.

“Umm…”

Eunbi suddenly lost her ability to think of an answer to this very simple question. Well—more precisely, she didn’t really know what she was feeling, let alone how to verbalize it. Even though she knew exactly why she was here in the first place. After all, it was Eunbi who dug out the number on the card her doctor had given her.

In fact, she remembers every single detail that led up to that just a week ago. 

Like waking up in the morning to the smell of freshly brewed coffee. The scent of it was so inviting that she walked out of the bedroom and straight into the kitchen with every intention to pour herself a cup.

She said good morning to her family sitting at the dining table while walking further in the kitchen to start her day with a cup of coffee.

It was the first morning since coming back to her family and Eunbi had felt better than she expected. Even after having the conversation she had with her wife the night before; It was all sorts of heavy that she didn’t think they’d need to address so soon, but she was glad for it.

She was in a good mood.

That is, until she turned around to witness the horrified looking faces of her wife and daughter—okay, maybe she was exaggerating. It wasn’t exactly horrification that she saw. But they weren’t exactly thrilled either.

Eunbi couldn’t help but ask them, “Something wrong?”

It wasn’t until her daughter pointed out her first mistake of the day. “Mom, you don’t drink coffee.”

With Eunbi unable to think of what she could possibly reply to that, she stood frozen until Chaeyeon helped her out by changing the subject to breakfast. Though that didn’t help much with the situation either, considering Eunbi found out she was supposed to be the one who does all the cooking in the house. Because she can’t remember what her family’s favorite foods are, and she’d been too insecure to ask. It also didn’t get any better when Wonyoung asked if Eunbi was fit enough to drive her to school. And Eunbi had to say no, her reason being that she's not ready to get behind the wheel after the accident. And that would be a perfectly good excuse, if only it wasn’t second to her not knowing where exactly Wonyoung’s school was.

After that, the things she can’t remember just kept piling up. And the day had barely even started at that point.

So when Chaeyeon left to drop Wonyoung at school, Eunbi had arranged a meeting with the psychologist that her doctor had recommended. Besides, what else was she supposed to do?

That had been last week. She had waited a whole week for her first session with Kim Chaewon. Chaeyeon also agreed it was probably a good idea to talk to someone… impartial about this. She had even drove Eunbi to her first session. Eunbi had a feeling she wasn’t the only one anxious to try every which way to get her memories back.

Though, Eunbi isn’t naive enough to think this would fix everything. To fix her, or her memories. But she’d be lying if she wasn’t silently wishing, to any god that’s listening, for all her memories to come back like a revelation the moment she stepped into her psychologist’s office.

“I don’t know how to answer that.” Eunbi felt it was better to be honest with her psychologist. And in all honesty, she felt like she was floating for the past week. Like every new information she took in were facts, but she just couldn’t quite grasp it. And every little mistake she made just checked her out of reality by the minute. And her family looks at her like she’s an alien, because Eunbi was in every way the Eunbi they knew, but deep down, she really isn’t their Eunbi anymore.

So how does one put that kind of feeling into one adjective to answer how she was doing?

“Why don’t you tell me why you feel like you need to be here,” Chaewon clarifies. “What do you need to talk about?”

“For the past week, I felt...” Eunbi pauses to look for the right word. “I feel as if I’m in a competition with my pre-accident self. And I’m losing.”

“What makes you think you’re losing?”

Eunbi didn’t even have to think much before the memories from the past week came to mind. Only because everything from the past week had been a testament to how she was failing to remember anything.

Chaeyeon had kept her promise to show Eunbi her studio the next day. It was just a few hours after she drove Wonyoung to