chapter 3
i'll never loveA/N:
SOOO, omg, I'm sorry it's taken this long for me to update. And the only excuse I have is that with IZ*ONE's silence, I just didn't have it in me to write. But now I need to do something during my break, so i forced myself to write something.
Anywho, this is not a perfect update or chapter, but its a start, and hopefully I can update regularly now.
From the moment her wife had stepped out of the room Eunbi let out a breath of relief. It wasn’t necessarily because of Chaeyeon that Eunbi felt anxious, but it certainly didn’t help her sanity having the constant reminder that she’s lost her memory in the same room. She almost wants to laugh at the irony. Almost. But she stays quiet. Even when every part of her being is telling her to yell and take out all her frustrations until she busted a ing lung, Eunbi stays silent.
The only thing making sounds in her room had been the monitor next to the hospital bed and all the sighs she unconsciously kept letting out. It would be an understatement to say that this was all too much for her to handle. How the hell would anyone deal with losing their memory? And all of 15 years, no less. She had lost so much.
It shouldn’t come as a surprise for Eunbi to ponder on the life she had lived.
From what Chaeyeon had mentioned in passing, it seemed like Eunbi was a good wife and a good mother. After all, Chaeyeon did say Eunbi was their daughter’s favorite mother out of the two of them––though Chaeyeon could be just saying that to make Eunbi feel better. Even so, she’d like to believe it was true.
And Eunbi figures 12 years is a long time to stay married to someone. That should imply that they were happy… Right? Eunbi thinks, even if she’s lost her memories, she’s willing to believe that she still knows herself well enough to not stay in a loveless marriage. She’d probably would have gotten a divorce if she wasn’t happy with her spouse (at least that’s what single, independent, 25 year old Eunbi would like to believe her future self would do).
Although, Eunbi couldn’t help but marvel at how they had lasted so long. “They must be really in love with each other,” she murmurs quietly to herself.
Then, Eunbi realized she said ‘they’ instead of ‘we’ and for some reason it had left a bitter taste in . In some ways, it felt wrong to separate herself from whatever narrative she’s already been apart of, yet it was also uncomfortable for Eunbi to even try to claim memories that she doesn’t have. Whatever Eunbi had with Chaeyeon, whatever family they’ve built with their daughter, Wonyoung, she isn’t part of it. At least not anymore.
Eunbi doesn’t know if she’s just being selfish to think this or if it’s her fear talking.
Maybe it was both.
In any case, it doesn’t matter what she feels about the memories of her family that she had lost, she would still need to make a decision in the end. She knows one thing, Chaeyeon was right; two hours wasn’t nearly enough to decide whether to accept or reject her wife’s offer. What would possess her to agree to come home with a stranger in any other circumstance? But that’s the thing, isn’t it? Chaeyeon wasn’t supposed to be a stranger. She’s supposed to be Eunbi’s wife. And had it been a normal car accident, without having her memories wiped in the process, Eunbi would have been thankful to still be alive after such a horrible accident and able to go home to her wife and daughter.
Still, this knowledge doesn’t change the fact that she did lose her memories and Eunbi knows none of these people.
Eunbi felt guilty about having this thought right as it crossed her mind–she couldn’t help but think that if a daughter wasn’t in the equation, she probably would have already made a decision by the time Chaeyeon came back to see her. If they didn’t share a daughter, Eunbi might have entertained a divorce with only a slight guilt in her conscience.
Unfortunately, the hours rolled by very quickly while she was still lost in her head, and she was knocked out of her thoughts when the door creaked open after two soft knocks.
Damn. Eunbi hadn’t even made a decision yet.
C
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