D-121

Another month has passed and Eunbi was happy to say that things were getting better––Not her memories; Eunbi still couldn’t remember much of anything. But there were things that simply came back and reminded her that she wasn’t completely incompetent, even after forgetting 15 years of her life. Things like knowing how to play the piano or riding a bike, or even just cooking. Small things that she miraculously knew how to do stopped her from feeling less than. Eunbi takes her small victories and celebrates them quietly by herself.

But, as always, she digressed.

Even though Eunbi still didn’t know what had happened in her life for the past 15 years, it’s been easier lately. She doesn’t think much about the deal she made with Chaeyeon. Much. Only sometimes. And she tries her hardest to just live her life. Even if some part of her knew something was missing. But Eunbi made like the Beatles and Let It Be––A song she’s taken to listening anytime she’s feeling bad for herself.

Like this morning, she listened to the song as she got ready for the day. It’s to be her first day at work since the accident—and Eunbi was actually very excited. But she was also very dreadfully nervous. What if she can’t make music anymore? Hell––what if she’s suddenly tone deaf? Eunbi had so many scary thoughts that occupied her mind to the point where she was left unaware of what was going on in the world around her.

Snap, Snap.

Eunbi shook her head to stop herself from spiraling down the rabbit hole. She forces herself to focus on what was in front of her. A hand. Eunbi gathers it was Chaeyeon who was snapping her fingers to get her wife’s attention.

“Earth to Eunbi? You there, honey?” Chaeyeon asks, her eyes only occasionally glancing to look at Eunbi, while keeping most of her attention to driving the car.

“Y-yeah, sorry, what?” Eunbi stammers out, clearly missing the endearment that accidentally left Chaeyeon’s mouth.

“I asked if you were nervous.”

Eunbi sighs defeatedly. “Nervous doesn’t even begin to describe what I’m feeling.”

“Didn’t you say you played around on the piano yesterday?” 

“I did.” For hours upon hours, Eunbi played around with the guitar, then the keyboard, then on her computer until it was crazy late––or early, depending on how she wanted to see it. Eunbi didn’t stop playing until she could finally reassure herself that she at least still knew how to play instruments, and that not all her musical ability left her body during the crash, just like her memories left her.

“And?”

Eunbi turns her head to Chaeyeon. “And what?”

Chaeyeon briefly glanced at Eunbi before looking away again. “How was it?”

At first, Eunbi could only describe the feeling as pure terror. She forgoes the grand piano in the living room for fear of her family hearing Eunbi fail at what was supposed to be her life’s work, and chooses to bar herself in her sound-proof studio instead. Sitting in front of the keyboard felt jarring, not knowing where to even begin her journey of self-discovery. But the moment Eunbi arranged her fingers to play a combination of keys that make up a chord, a surge that could only be described as lightning coursed through her, and a song was victoriously played in its entirety. 

“It was exhilarating,” Eunbi allows herself to admit it out loud. “It was like.. I didn’t have to think. It just came to me, automatically. It felt like everything was perfectly aligned in this world.”

Without her eyes ever leaving the road, Chaeyeon’s hand reaches to find Eunbi’s hand that was settled on her lap. Chaeyeon squeezes Eunbi’s hand lightly, trying to convey how happy she was for her wife. “Then focus on that. Only that. You love music and you’ll fall right back into it. I can’t promise you just how fast that’ll happen, but it will. Okay?”

Eunbi takes in what Chaeyeon says and surprisingly found herself feeling better. “Okay.” She turns to her wife sitting in the driver’s seat. “What about you, are you excited to go back to work?”

Chaeyeon groans like a child. “Not by a longshot. Yena’s taking her wife to Bali for a whole week and now I have to cover for her,” Chaeyeon replies, only mildly sounding annoyed.

Something gnawed at Eunbi in the back of her mind, a sad feeling of guilt. “I’m—“

But as if they were telepathic, Chaeyeon already knew what Eunbi was going to say, and Chaeyeon wasn’t about to let her finish. “Don’t you dare apologize. I told you, you’re more important.” Only when Chaeyeon was satisfied Eunbi didn’t still feel guilty for her kindness did she continue, “Besides, Yena’s earned the break. Though I can’t wait for her to come back so you can meet her. She’s going to have so much fun teasing you and getting to reuse all her jokes.”

Eunbi laughs sincerely.  “I can’t wait.” 

––––––––––––––––––––

“Break a leg, Eunbi.” Chaeyeon smiles at her wife after pulling up in front of Eunbi’s office building.

Eunbi bites on her lip nervously, that same sinking feeling of doubt creeped back in. She suddenly wanted to scold herself for not actually going through with her intention to drink out of the bottle of scotch before leaving the apartment this morning. Surely, liquid courage isn't just a myth. But the logical side of her won her the internal monologue to not go back to work tipsy. Eunbi looks to her wife, not really knowing why she did it, but calls out to her anyway, “Chaeyeon?”

“Eunbi?”

“Could you...” Eunbi stops, second-guessing herself. She wasn’t a child. Eunbi is a grown adult, an independent woman, and she didn’t need Chaeyeon, or anyone for that matter, to coddle her or––

“Do you want me to accompany you?” Chaeyeon asks.

And Eunbi was all too happy to accept with a shy nod of her head.

Without another word spoken, Chaeyeon drove the car and parked at Eunbi’s designated spot located in the basement of the building. The side of Chaeyeon’s lips curled just a little, and she tried hard to school her expression, but Eunbi still caught it. Curiously, she asks, “What’s so funny?”

“It’s nothing,” Chaeyeon waves her off. She tried to get out of the car but Eunbi had been quick to grab her wrist and stop her, immediately seeing Eunbi’s face which showed that she absolutely demanded to know. “I just think it’s kind of cute how nervous you are.”

“You’re making fun of me?”

“I’m not! That’s