chapter 4
i'll never loveD-182
Fast forward three hours later after she was discharged from the hospital, Eunbi sat quietly at the dining table, watching as her wife and daughter effortlessly moves around the room to clear up the dining table after their first dinner together, of which, was a combination of take out chinese food and store bought, microwaveable frozen pizza. As she watches them, Eunbi couldn’t help but feel rather useless, just watching them do the hard work of cleaning up while she herself did nothing. Though in her defense, she did offer to help them, but both her wife and daughter had protested strongly.
So, instead, she tries to take it all in. It being this life that she supposedly has lived for the last decade.
One thing for sure, Eunbi is glad that the money their family clearly has hadn’t made them too posh to be above the wonders of takeout food. Though, Eunbi has to admit, it was a bit ironic to see the contrast between the food they were eating against the fine china her wife was washing, and the clean, clearly expensive kitchen and apartment they’re in. Eunbi is going to have to try and get used to this.
Turns out, when she said her wife looked expensive by looking at her clothes the first time Eunbi laid eyes on her in the hospital room, she didn’t know what it meant for herself and how that wealth extended to Eunbi as well.
But, this was her life––No, this is Eunbi’s life
… with her wife and her daughter. Just another thing that Eunbi has to get used to.
“Hey mom.”
It was her daughter that broke Eunbi out of her trance. She shook herself and looks up. “Yeah… Wonnie, what’s up?” Apparently in the timespan of her zoning out, her wife and daughter had finished clearing up the table and the dirty dishes.
“I’m going to wash up and go to sleep,” Wonyoung says, “goodnight, mom. Night, mama.”
There it was, the warmth she felt in her stomach every time her daughter said mom. She smiles back, sincerely and automatically. “Goodnight, Wonnie.” Eunbi watches Wonyoung walk to where she guesses was her daughter’s bedroom. She kept watching, even after the door closes behind her daughter, her attention didn’t move to anything else.
That is, until Chaeyeon called her name. Multiple times. “Huh?”
Eunbi waits as her wife walks closer to her. “I said you should get some shut eye too,” Chaeyeon says. Though Eunbi could tell that her wife looked like she had more to say, so Eunbi kept quiet. “And, uhh.. I think you should take our bedroom, and I can stay in the guest room.”
Oh.
Sleeping arrangements. Eunbi hadn’t even thought of it this far after she agreed to come home. What was she thinking? Clearly, she wasn’t. This was so difficult and Eunbi knows it shouldn’t be. And poor Chaeyeon having to even suggest this to her own wife.
“I wouldn’t want to put you out–” Eunbi started but was cut off pretty quickly.
“You won’t be. Please, just take our room,” Chaeyeon insists. “I want you to be comfortable. Especially with your ribcage still in the process of healing. Okay?”
“Okay.”
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“So that’s my table over there,” Chaeyeon points at the paper-cluttered glass desk in the corner of the room, “for when I work from home.” Chaeyeon looks up suddenly as if a lightbulb came on in her head. “Oh, I totally forgot to show you your studio."
“My studio?”
“It’s that room behind the living room, I don’t know if you noticed it.” Eunbi does remember noticing it. Remembers seeing the short hallway just left of the living room, further past the kitchen, when she first walked into their apartment. “Anyway––I’ll show it to you tomorrow. Is that okay? Or would you rather I show it to you now?”
Eunbi imagines what she would see in the studio, everything new that she would learn about herself by being in that room. And Eunbi thinks she’s had enough of taking in information for now. “No, tomorrow’s fine by me.”
Chaeyeon nods then moves further into the bedroom to a walk-in closet. “These are all your clothes. Right side’s yours.” Chaeyeon waves her hand around to show where her clothes in the closet start and end. Eunbi watches as Chaeyeon walk to her own side to take a few pieces of clothes.
Eunbi couldn’t help but think how glad she was that Chaeyeon’s back was facing her. That way, Eunbi didn’t have to witness what kind of hurt she might have seen on her wife’s face for having to take out clothes from her own bedroom, because Chaeyeon had thought it best to leave her wife alone to make her comfortable. Eunbi wasn’t Chaeyeon. Eunbi wasn’t the one who had lost a wife to amnesia. But she could imagine how painful it probably was.
She decides to distract herself with other thoughts.
From what Eunbi can see, her wife’s taste in fashion revolves around pantsuits, dress shirts and blazers. If that was supposed to give a hint to what kind of job Chaeyeon has, Eunbi still didn’t have a clue.
Finally, C
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