They were friends before they became anything else.

After that fateful day, they’d done exactly what their daughter had told them, to figure it out. And they did. They realized it was better for them to start fresh, ironically not missing the opportunity of being divorced. Maybe this way Eunbi would be less burdened by her mistakes, and also less inclined to mould herself into being some idealized role of wife. This way she could figure things out along the way, together.

“I don't want just another do-over,” Eunbi says that night. “I want us to try this time. To really try.”

“Me too. I don’t want to make the same mistakes again.”

“I won’t let you.”

And that was a promise they made together.

++

Even hand holding became a luxury for the first few months. It wasn’t a rule or anything, not like the other actual ground rules they had set up. Chaeyeon guessed it was because they both knew any physical contact between them would have led to more within a few touches. It would have been for the best, with physical affection out of the way, it left more room for them to talk. 

And they’d talked a lot––even outside of their family therapy sessions. After everything, they were now honest to a fault, even when they thought it could hurt the other. Often they talked about what made them unhappy during the marriage, what they did right, and all their regrets.

On one such night, Eunbi had invited Chaeyeon over for dinner. Their previous living arrangement still stands for the time being, but there had been many sleepovers along the way—too many to count. It worked for them, and it worked for Wonyoung too, though the teenager would always find herself ready for bed much earlier than usual whenever Chaeyeon had come for a sleepover, leaving the two adults alone to drink their wine and talk in the living room with the lights dimmed almost all the way down. 

“You know, on the night of your accident, I really thought we had found our way back to each other again.” Chaeyeon knows Eunbi probably doesn’t remember, but she felt compelled to speak her mind.

“What do you mean?”

Chaeyeon recounted the story as best as she could, “... and we said we loved each other. But that night you left to see Sakura, then the… accident happened. So maybe we’ll never know what would have become of us.”

Eunbi frowns after piecing the information together. It was the night of the crash, the one where she left Sakura that voicemail. Eunbi should have been relieved to finally know exactly how the night played out, but she wasn’t. Instead, she felt the guilt of ruining their almost mended relationship, and dread of being robbed of those memories.

“There was never a me and her,” Eunbi says. She could see Chaeyeon’s confused look from the corner of her eye, but Eunbi pushed on, “I went to see Sakura to tell her I was sorry—I went to apologize for allowing her to pursue me, and for using her, when all I wanted was you.”

Chaeyeon was stunned to silence, and Eunbi followed suit, letting her process in peace.

“Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”

“I didn’t find out until after the divorce, and…” Eunbi takes a sip of her drink, nudging herself to keep speaking, “I guess it didn’t really matter how it went to me. I still wronged you, no matter how small it was.”

Chaeyeon looked conflicted, but eventually asks, “Do you regret it?”

Eunbi recalls a breakthrough during one of her sessions with Chaewon, she had finally realized something, “I used to. And I punished myself for it. But now, I… I know I can’t regret something I don’t remember doing. My choices then were influenced by reasons that I’ll never be able to truly understand now,” Eunbi answers honestly, then adds, “I’m sorry if that’s not what you wanted to hear.”

But Chaeyeon only smiled back, her eyes saying she understands. “You know what I regret? I regret being at work so much.”

“I regret taking so long to say I love you.”

“I regret not showing you just how much I love you—more than my job, more than... anything.”

Eunbi makes a bold choice to reach for Chaeyeon’s free hand, gently squeezing it. “I regret that I hurt you.”

“Me too.”

There were more regrets left unsaid, too many to say in one night. But they both knew that the one thing they could never regret was choosing each other. Even if it means they have to start out as friends again.

++

For a time, they even gave each other space to try dating with other people. It hadn’t been an easy decision, but they made it together. To the people outside looking in, it must have been weird. But they weren't married, so they might as well find out if there was someone else out there that they missed. There was no reason to rush or be reckless in their haste to get back together. 

Chaeyeon caved after 5 dates with 5 different people. Eunbi caved after the second date with one person and two other first dates. They ended up not trying again after that. It just came to a point where it felt unnecessary. They couldn’t deny that the love they share is irreplaceable and unwilling to be shared with other people.

“She wasn’t you,” Chaeyeon confesses. That became a problem every date she went on. Chaeyeon kept looking for Eunbi in every one of those faces and no one came close. The contrast was even more certain now as Chaeyeon sat across from Eunbi, having dinner at some ludicrously expensive restaurant they used to frequent. And maybe it wasn’t so much as the food that they loved, it was the company they shared.

“She’s not supposed to be me. We’re supposed to figure out if we’ve missed anything with other people,” Eunbi reminded her, attempting to scold Chaeyeon, but failed just as quickly, as she was to