“Oh I’m gonna die. She’s gonna string me up by my intestines and beat me with my own leg. Holy mother of god I’m going to die!” Chaeyoung yells, eyes wide and shaking. She’s gonna die! 

“You are not going to die. You’re going to be fine. I don’t know why Jisoo is acting this way but her mother is gonna straighten her out for sure”, Lisa comforts, ahh sweet sweet Lisa. So misinformed on how this all works. Irene and Seulgi will try, oh they will try but that short head has been on a warpath for 21 years, nobody can stop her now. She Supermaned onto the stage. Who even does that? 

“Yeah maybe”, Chaeyoung sighs, falling deeper into her girlfriend's arms. Across the pond as they say, but more like four blocks back Jisoo Kim was in fact on a warpath. Not necessarily the one she originally was on, but on a new one, one the fates had not prepared her for. 

She was on KY Jelly’s warpath now. 

“No no no! Let me at her! Disrespectful little pothead! How dare you!” Katy jumps, damn Joy’s height and her stupid curvy legs.

“Katy, we are too old to be trying to beat up children.” Joy attempts to calm her friend. Behind Joy, Irene and Seulgi have begun pulling their eldest away from Katy and the wild look in her eye. 

“I’m 44! I’m young enough to put a whooping on that little head right there! How dare you show up here! Late! Dirty as all hell and attack my daughter! You have hurt my child for the last time you hear me!”

“Okay, okay calm down”, Joy tries again, lifting the flailing woman off the floor to carry her further away from Jisoo and her parents. “C’mon she’s just a kid.”

“No Joy that’s not a kid anymore. That’s a fully cooked hard boiled egg filled with anger problems and ty behavior. She’s been like this for years. What she needs is to be waterboarded.” 

“I’m sorry, did you say waterboarded?”

“Yes! Throw a jock strap over that face and drown the little er!” 

“That’s your niece!”

“She caused this scene at the most lucrative time of the year! All that money! GONE! Also! My daughter, GONE! Where the hell are our children?”

Now, safely tucked in the corner of a White Castle, Dahyun eats slowly. Oh ! “Guys! I left my girlfriend.”

Sliders fall to the plate and eyes shoot to Dahyun, “what! We were being assaulted and I was defending my best friend. Look! I was scared!” 

“Hey, you know what they say guys. Bro’s before hoes, bring it in Dubu!” 

Jennie eats away, truly only half listening to the bunch in front of her. Did Lisa always look this cute? These are some good onion rings, holy ! This soda is tight! Damn Lisa’s forehead looks delicious, been gone so long I miss it. Wait, is that what ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder’, mean? I am definitely fond. Jesus look at all that free real estate!

“Babe, is there something on my face?”

“That’s her, ‘I wanna sit on your face’ look”, Rosie chips in, opening for Chaeyoung to pop in an onion ring. “Thank Yah baby!”

“Baby!” Lisa whines, blush rising. “Don’t look at me like that!” Her forehead would look so pretty with onion rings for eyebrows, Jennie giggles. “Woo! It’s gettin hot here guys!”, Lisa fans herself. Hehe! Onion brows ! 

“Oh! You’re here! We have been looking all over for you guys!” Wheein shouts, hands on knees in exhaustion. “These legs were not made for running”, Wheein laughs, sauntering up to the group of young adults. 

“Hey titi”, Rosie greets, hugging and kissing her aunt on the cheek. 

“Hey cutie. Whatcha got here? Oh I love White Castle Sliders!” Grinning wide, Wheein reaches forward grabbing three of the four sliders left on the table. 

Hey! She took my burger! Dahyun thinks, eyes wide as this Whee-in character eats her damn food. What the hell! 

“So guys, your parents are looking for you.”

“So is Jisoo, we’re still in hiding.”

“Mm, now that you mention it. Jisoo is missing too, after your mom attacked her with the punch bowl”, she points at Chaeyoung, “and your parents yelled at her”, fingers aimed at Dahyun, “she booked it out of the banquet hall and ran off somewhere. Your mom went to the station to track where her phone GPS is.” Wheein finishes, grabbing a smoothie blindly and sipping. “Aww that’s good”, she cheers. Missing the dirty looks from Dahyun and Lisa. 

“Well, c’mon guys. Your parents are looking for you.”

“We came in Lisa’s car.”

“That’s fine, I took an Uber here I’ve had quite a bit of egg nog guys.”

“Wait, if you took an Uber here how did you know we were here?”

“I wanted White Castle and boom! You just happened to be here. Good .”

                         ————/////—————//////————

Danger is lurking in the shadows. Using the night as cover for its dastardly deeds. Wading through the filth of the city, cover to cover, the blood on the innocent It’s only—“ my phone!” Jisoo grunts, pausing her video to pick it up. 

“Jisoo! Where are you!”

“Look mom. I know I caused a scene and everything. I’m just trying to find the kids to say sorry.”

“No, I don’t want you to find the kids. I want to find your on the sofa in the next ten”, the voice drowned on as Jisoo zeroed in on a familiar Pontiac. Oh that filthy traitor. 

“Gotta go mom! I love you!” Danger is lurking in the shadows and its name Jisoo Kang. 

Chaeyoung tosses the last of the wrapper into the trash just as Jennie yells and a figure does what can only be described as a beautiful run into a graceful pirouette over a trash can, into a homeless man and into the road. “Oh . . My bad sir. ouch!” Finally untangling herself, Jisoo points at the group of traitors. “You! How could you!”

“You went bat! I did what I had to!”

“I trusted you!” Jisoo bellows, aggressively pointing at Lisa. Her shoulder must hurt with all that pointing. 

“And I trusted you not to attack someone in the middle of New Years! What happened to ‘new year, new me!’”

“Well old me never finished Chaeyoung. New me is absolutely dedicated to gutting the little Leprechaun!”

“Leprechauns are little already! It’s counterproductive to add the little. It’s implied!” Chaeyoung yells over Lisa’s shoulder. 

“You! Shut your goddamn mouth! I’ll deal with you later short stack!”

“We’re the same height!”

“ you!”

“No! youu!”

“Y’know what!” Jisoo yells, apologizing to the lady in the minivan honking. “Let’s go. Right here. Right now. Let’s go!”

“Go where!”

“Baby a fight. She means a fight”.

“Oh oh okay” Chaeyoung laughs. 

“Do it Garcia style”, Jennie offers. “Meet up at the park my mom and aunt used to settle old scores.”

“Yeah! Let’s!” 

“This is so exciting!” Wheein sqeals. 

“Oh god, titi you’re still here?”

“Oh yeah! This beats anything back home. Hwasa is working tonight and Moonbyul is stalking Yubin and said I can’t join because I keep eating all the steak out snacks.”

“Honestly, aren’t steak out snacks the best though Titi?” Jennie laughs, grasping her aunt's hand and swinging it gleefully. 

One awkward, packed full Pontiac ride later the group enters the Pelham Bay Park ready to rumble, West Side Story style. “So the way we do it is, we sit and they fight. UFC rules allowed.” 

“Whatever. I’ve kicked her before I’ll do it again.”

“You were 18 when you kicked my . It’s been three years. I’m a lot better.”

“Whatever bean sprout. Let’s go.” 

“Let me just get my Vaseline.”

“Why does she need Vaseline?” Lisa asks Rosie as the group sits down to watch the spectacle. 

“So her skin doesn’t break if she gets hit in the face. I guess it also makes the punches roll off and makes her face look extra shiny.”

“Oh well, fair enough.”

“I’m gonna beat you like you stole something.” Jisoo says, right before rushing forward and jumping on Chaeyoung. 

“You didn’t even say time!”

“Y’know I thought this would end after they hit their teens.”

“YOU LOOK LIKE A WALRUS TOOK A ON YOUR FACE!”

“Honestly, I feel like it got worse”. Jennie laughs before swaying back and falling into Rosie’s lap. “Oh you’re so warm!” 

“DID YOU JUST BITE MY ?”

“Oh! That was a crisp elbow”, Lisa points out watching Chaeyoung stand back up after jumping off the slide and elbowing Jisoo. “So wait, your mom and her mom used to fight here?”

“Yeah, it’s how they stayed so close. Oh! That was Gnarly!” Jennie laughs as Jisoo yanks Chaeyoung underwear to places it was not meant to be. 

“HERE! A HOMEMADE THONG!”

“EAT MY !”

“Your mom is gonna be so pissed!” Wheein giggles.

“Jesus! I keep forgetting your aunt is here.”

“Aim for the kidneys!” Wheein yells. 

“Who are you saying that to?” Dahyun asks incredulously. 

“Whoever will take the advice”, Wheein shrugs. 

“OW!”  

“Guess it was Chaeyoung.”

Jisoo stood on shaky legs as Chaeyoung crawled away and stood upon her own two shaky legs. “Alright, let’s end this!” Chaeyoung huffs, pulling her underwear from all the places it didn’t belong and yanking her shirt off. 

“You look stupid”, Jisoo said, fixing the bra strap that Chaeyoung had wrapped around her head. 

“And you look like no one likes you. Right here, final move. Nobody moves from where they are, we start right in front of each other and just leave it all right here.”

“Fine. If I win you what do you want?”

“You stop attacking me all the time. There’s no reason for it. Rosie is with me because I put the work in. You didn’t. Leave your grudges aside.”

“Fine. If I win, you never make another song again.”

Through gritted teeth Chaeyoung said, “fine.”

A couple feet away the group stood watching, “oh it’s going down.”

“We should get the police on the line.”

Chaeyoung ran forward just as Jisoo did and “what the ?”

“Are they playing Rock Paper Scissors?”

“HA! Paper beats rock !” 

“No. No this is too much”, Lisa whines before falling back on the grass and questioning her friends.