Korean is underlined and Italicized.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Seulgi looked up at the big building, why are there bars on the windows? She looked around, maybe she was at the wrong place and had unwittingly ended up at a prison. A group of people who looked to be around her age came walking by her laughing, no, don't go there white people I don't think it’s safe. The group opened a door and entered the big building, oh no. Seulgi scratched the back of her neck, American’s study in prison? Oh man, American’s are weird. Seulgi pulled the straps to her bookbag tighter against herself and traversed around the building. 

 

There was a young man surrounded by women at a bench, he seems like someone I should talk to. Why would people crowd him if he weren’t a good person, he must be an amazing person. Seulgi smiled and marched right up and into the crowd of women. She bowed low to the boy and grinned, “hello Americans! My name is Kang Seulgi, I am a transfer from the great nation of South Korea. I happened upon you on my travels and deemed you a good person of character, please help me find Hostos college please.” 

 

The group blinked at the strange woman in front of them. “Why are you talking like that?” The boy asked, Seulgi quirked a brow. He has a very feminine voice. Must be the hormones in the milk. 

 

“Like what?”

 

“Like that, all pish posh and stuff.”

 

“Pish posh? I don't know this word.”

 

“We don't talk like it’s the 30s man. Just speak like a normal person not a robot.” Seulgi opened in a silent, oh. 

 

“Um. well, can you help me?”

 

“What do you need help with?” Seulgi tried not to roll her eyes, I already told him where I need to be. Americans are very forgetful.

 

“I need help locating Hostos College”.

 

“Finding.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Say finding, not locating. Nobody says locating anymore.”

 

“Oh, um okay. Well, I need help finding Hostos College”.

 

“Just say Hostos.” Seulgi pinched her thigh, I don't need a vocab lesson, I just need to find my school.

 

“Yes, of course. I need help finding Hostos.”

 

“Sweet”, the boy spit out next to the bench and smiled at Seulgi. “Right there,'' he said, pointing to the big prison in front of them. “Technically all of this is Hostos, but that's the main building.” 

 

“Um, are you sure it is not a prison?”

 

“Oh dude. That’s hella deep. School really is a prison aint it? Just a prison for your brain and artistic value. That was deep Slugi”.

 

“It’s Seulgi.”

 

“Yeah, stand strong Luigi”. Seulgi’s brows furrowed, who the is Luigi? “Name’s Amber by the way. This is Krystal, this is Ailee, that’s Wendy, she’s Victoria and this lovely woman is Luna.”

 

Did he say his name is Amber? American’s have odd names for their men. “Thank you ladies”.

 

“Hey, I can help you. I have to head in anyway.” the short blonde, previously identified as Wendy said. 

 

“Oh that’d be great” Seulgi said. Wendy hopped off the bench and waved goodbye to everyone and began heading to the prison with Seulgi in tow. “Are you sure miss Wendy that this isn’t a prison?” Wendy giggled and squeezed Seulgi’s upper arm. 

 

“I’m certain Seulgi. And you don't need to call me miss Wendy. In America we don't really use honorifics. At least not like you would in Korea.”

 

“Oh!” Seulgi beamed, “You know of my country? Do you speak Korean?” Wendy nodded, shooting Seulgi a toothy grin.

 

“But you should keep working on your English. So, if you do find others that speak Korean try to use it sparingly, you want to learn English to the best of your ability.” Seulgi smiled sadly but nodded in understanding. This is going to be a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. 

 

“So, what kind of honorifics do they use here?”

 

“Good question. We use honorifics for older people, but not every time we talk to them. For instance, whenever you talk to someone older than you in Korean you use an honorific, here we don't do that. With teachers you say, miss or mister when you describe them, but a lot of the times in university they ask you just call them by their name or just call them professor. In America they encourage getting close to your teachers, but like, not sleeping with them close. 

 

They want you to build a bond with them so when you ask for help you’re not nervous, so a lot of the time you’ll hear people say things like, hey teach! As a greeting, and we don't bow here. We shake hands, but only in greeting. And not every time, and we don't suddenly shake hands with seniors that are walking by us like you bow to passing by seniors in Korea. And the only time you really use a big honorific is if the person you’re addressing has a big seniority over you, like a teacher, a cop, but not with someone who is in a higher grade than you. 

 

And it’s okay to talk to strangers here, they won't get all uncomfortable. Actually, a lot of the time if you make eye contact with an American they smile at you and then actually talk to you. They do it a lot in line at a store or something. You don't need an honorific with these people, unless they’re like super old. Then you want to be like thank you ma’am. We use Sir and Ma’am for people with authority over us. Like a teacher, when they tell you to do something you say yes ma’am. But it’s not required.” Seulgi quickly held a hand out. 

 

“Wait, let me grab my notepad.” Wendy held Seulgi’s wrist and chuckled.

 

“No need Seulgi, when you go somewhere you don't take note of everything they do. There are many cultures in America, you don't need to fit the general American culture. It’s has a way of taking over you Seulgi, just let the air hit’cha and let trial and error do its job.” 

 

Wendy showed Seulgi all around that day and Seulgi realized the building was in fact not a prison, it was a melting pot of all types of people of color and background. She meant a catholic name Maria, she spoke with an odd accent but she was absolutely beautiful. She told Seulgi all types of things, most of it her schedule, but she made the word monday sound beautiful and artistic. She said she was Cuban, all Seulgi knew was that she had the most beautiful bronze skin she had ever seen. Can you say Tuesday?

 

Later on in the day Seulgi met an African American atheist name Trey, he had an odd comb in his hair and his hair was huge! He let Seulgi touch it and she was certain she was in some kind of paradise. “It’s called a pick, it helps keep the fro’s shape.”

 

“Fro?”

 

“Yep, that's what it’s called.” Trey told her all about hair, he wanted to be a chef.

 

 “I’ll eat whatever you make!” Seulgi exclaimed when Trey let her try a truffle he had made. He told her all types of recipes, tips and shortcuts and he was truly a beautiful man. Seulgi got his email and continued on her way.

 

Later she met a woman with an absolutely amazing accent, it was strong and aggressive and she was so very frail looking. “Hanna” She said her name was. Hanna from Ireland she said. She had beautiful raven hair and the brightest blue eyes Seulgi had ever trained her brown eyes on. Hanna was loud, Hanna was happy. She’s in school to be a Lawyer, Seulgi told her with her accent she would win every case. Hanna laughed and gave what she probably assumed was a love tap, but really hurt Seulgi’s arm. The rest of Seulgi’s travel passed with a sore arm.

 

Later, Seulgi stumbled into the library and saw a beautiful woman. Wendy said American’s don't mind coming up and talking to them, so Seulgi did just that. She sat in front of the woman and pulled out all of her schedules and the school map and then she attempted to build the courage to talk to the breathtakingly beautiful woman in front of her. Unfortunately Seulgi didn't realize she was staring, the woman looked up uncomfortably and oh my god. If her side profile was beautiful then up front she’s sunshine on a rainy day. She's perfection. 

 

“Wah, yeppeuda” the girl in front of Seulgi hurriedly looked down, cheeks reddening. “Uh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable!” Seulgi slapped her head, great, now she's gonna be so confused I'm yelling at her in a language she doesn’t understand.

 

The girl halted, but Seulgi was too busy panicking to realize the girl had sat back in her seat and was now staring intently at her. “You’re Korean?” 

 

Seulgi’s eyes bulged and she grinned at the definition of beauty in front of her, she nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah! Are you?”  

 

Beauty in human form nodded, i’m going to die Seulgi thought happily. “I’m from Daegu”.

 

Seulgi’s mouth watered, yes, a town name she could actually pronounce. “I’m from Ansan”.

 

“What are you doing here then?”

 

“I’m studying to be a SWAT officer.”

 

“In America? Why?”

 

“I got a full scholarship to do it here.”

 

“Why not just join the police academy?”

 

“I need a degree to go into the police academy.”

 

“Oh. I’m Joohyun, but everyone here calls me Irene.” Irene held her hand out for Seulgi to shake, and shake it Seulgi did. Up, down, left, right, and then just tightly. 

 

“Kang Seulgi, for some reason they call me Luigi”.

 

~~/~~~~~~~~~//~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/////~~~~~~~~~~~~~////~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~

 

I haven’t slept. Wendy hasn’t either, her voice has spoken into the quiet this entire time. How has she not run out of things to say? It’s okay, she has a beautiful voice. I sigh and pull Wendy even closer, if it annoys her she hasn’t said anything about it. Wendy simply curls up closer, head on my shoulder, breath warm against my neck. Wendy’s skin is soft against my fingertips, and her fingertips are light and teasing on my stomach.

 

“I love you, Joy.” I smile, I wonder if she knows how my heart picks up every time she says that. I wonder if she knows that without her I'd be nothing. Does she know I’m so in love with her it actually hurts sometimes?

 

“I love you too Wendy. Everything about you. From the top of your little head to the bottom of your cold feet.” Wendy burrows closer and sighs, God must be happy with something I’ve done in a past life to give me this beautiful woman.  

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Involuntarily I shrug, Wendy groans at her dead being displaced on my shoulder. “Sorry. I feel weird. Irene is my cousin. And not like by marriage babe. She’s my mom’s niece. Like, I feel like I should have felt something like I did with Summer.”

 

“Well, Summer is your sister honey. It’s a bit different.”

 

“Is it? Irene has a part of my mom in her. She probably looks a bit like my mom. I have an aunt babe. Think I’ll meet her?”

 

“Do you want to?”

 

I stop. Do I want to? Am I ready for all of this? Is my family ready for all of this? I’m getting married, do I even have time to be focusing on that? With everything going on, do I have any more of me to be giving away in search of myself? I feel like I lose something more every time I try to find more about myself. Not knowing never hurt me before. 

 

“Honestly, I’m not sure babe. It’s all moving so fast. And you and I have plans. I don’t need to learn anything else about myself, babe. I have you. I’m building a family now baby. I don’t need to know about a family that didn’t want me. It’s not even like I’ll learn anything about myself, they don’t know me they aren’t going to tell me stories about my childhood, they don’t know me. when I want childhood stories I go to my mom. She knows. I go to papa, and he goes on and on. Seo-Joon doesn’t know me. Irene only knows infant Sooyoung. She knows Joy though. And I bet in her they’re two completely different people.”

 

“That’s because they were babe. But not anymore.”

 

“Yeah, but she can just forget last night. She can forget it all. And I’ll be the fiancé to her best friend. That’s all I need to be. It’s more than enough for me.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah. She’ll be our future kids aunt. She’ll be your best friend and my close friend. She’ll always be Irene to me. Maybe not my cousin. But she’s important in her own right.” 

 

Wendy chuckled against my neck before nipping lightly at my chin. With a hand on my stomach she sat up and simply stared at me. God she’s so beautiful. Wendy looks at me like I could never make a mistake. She looks at me like she’ll always want me. Like she’s completely and whole-heartedly in love with me. I smile and run my knuckles against her cheek. 

 

“Whatever you do,'' she whispers into the darkness. “I’ll be right here, forever.” And by god, I believe her. 

 

“Can I ask you a question?”

 

“Anything.”

 

“Do you ever think about kids?”

 

“It’s funny you ask. Because like a week ago Irene asked me the same thing and I have an answer.”.

 

I swallow nervously and watch Wendy’s expression above me. “What is it?” I hope my voice isn’t shaky. 

 

“I do want kids. With you I mean. Obviously I don’t want kids alone that’s just horrible. I also don’t want kids with someone else that is just. No. No. I couldn’t. I can’t even—“ I cut her off with a kiss. 

 

“You’re rambling”. I say into her neck a second after. 

 

“And you’re beautiful.”

 

“God I love you.”

 

———————————————————

Despite all the craziness going on in my life, I still had to go to work. The world does not stop turning and people do not stop needing to be saved. Two hours into my twelve hour shift Katy has finally exploded in anger or frustration over something she hasn’t told me about. One minute we’re cooking in the station kitchen, trying cheap pick up lines on Jessica in front of us when Katy grabs the bowl of strawberries in front of me and throws it across the room groaning. 

 

“Katy what the !” Jessica shrieks while I stare in confusion, but not necessarily shock. This is Katy Kim we’re talking about. 

 

Katy turns to me and shoves a finger into my chest hard. “Why are you acting like this!” Katy says between clenched teeth. 

 

“Acting like what?”

 

“Like this!” She yells again, gesturing wildly. “You’re making strawberry pancakes and flirting! You’re acting like you’re completely ing fine!” 

 

“Because I am fine”. I say, voice flat. Katy’s face turns bright pink and she half growls half shrieks some kind of inhuman noise. 

 

“Katy. What is your major dilemma?” Jessica asks from her stool, Tiffany is making her way up the steps asking about all the commotion.

 

“She is!” Katy points aggressively at me. “She is my major. Very major dilemma!” 

 

“Why?” Jessica asks. 

 

Katy turns to me. Her eyes look like they’re trying to find an answer in mine. I look away to Jessica and Tiffany. “My adoptive family came back into the picture.” I say. 

 

Both Tiffany and Jessica jump from their seats and start yelling excitedly. You would think their families suddenly came back into the picture instead. “Oh Joy that is so awesome!” Tiffany says, reaching over the table to squeeze my hand. 

 

“It would be. But Joy is acting like she’s fine.”

 

“Why wouldn’t she be fine?” Jessica asks. 

 

“Because. It was a surprise. Nobody knew it would happen. she didn’t go searching for them. Her dad just popped up. And then! Like something out of a movie. It turns out this girl she’s become friends with is her half sister. And one of our best friends is her ing cousin!” Katy’s eyes never leave mine as she fumes. 

 

Jessica and Tiffany stay silent but look between Katy and I. Tiffany let’s out an awkward whistle and turns to me. “Are you okay?”

 

I nod mutely. “Bull”, Katy calls. 

 

“Katy. You’re not me. How would you know how I feel? Maybe I’m simply fine. Ever thought about that? Ever thought that maybe you and my adoptive family were enough family for me? That Wendy and our future kids were enough? That I didn’t need a sister. I simply had you and that was fine?” Katy’s lips pursed and I shrug. 

 

“Everyone is asking how I feel. If you must know. I am overwhelmed. Of course I am. But I’m sad also. I don’t understand why you need me to show this though. I have a job to do here and being distracted does not help it. I don’t have time to be sad or confused Katy. And you have no right to be shoving any emotions onto me. I am my own person and I have every right to tackle my emotions at my own pace. I do not need to be obvious about how I feel because honestly it’s none of your damn business. The fact that you would even do this at work really shows how immature you are. This was not a conversation for work. 

 

If you actually cared and didn’t just want me to act the way you wanted you would have taken me out to lunch or something. This was honestly a move Katy. When will you grow up?” I set the spoon I had down and take off the cooking apron. I shake my head at the mess Katy made. “You’re always acting so extra for no reason man. Maybe you should stop trying to figure out why I don’t react. And figure out your own problems and why you overreact to everything. Also, clean this mess. I’m not doing it.” I leave after that. I head down the steps to the whispers of Jessica, Tiffany and Katy. 

 

Outside I grab one of the basketballs and stand in front of the hoop. I dribble it for awhile. Who does she think she is? Having a fit at work because I WON’T freak out. How can you be upset with someone for being strong? I shoot the ball and catch it as it bounces off the rim. 

 

Why is Katy always doing this? I love her don’t get me wrong. She’s my best friend. But why can’t she ever just chill out? Just take a deep breath and let it be. I shoot the ball again, it goes in silently. I jog to the hoop to catch the ball before it rolls away. I dribble the ball to half court when my phone rings. I pick it up without reading the caller ID. 

 

“Garcia” I answer. 

 

“Sooyoung?”

 

“Who?”

 

“J-Joy. Sorry. Joy. Hi it’s your fath-“

 

“Seo-Joon,” I say, cutting him off. He's not my father. 

 

“Ah yes. I um. I just wanted to call and check on you. Sooyoung told me about what happened with Irene and I was worried”. I swallow and grip the ball in my hand tighter. What is it with everyone asking how I’m doing. I’m fine!

 

“Ah. Well, it was surprising of course. But I am doing fine.” The other line is silent. I’m about to hang up. 

 

“Can I see you?” I don’t hang up. I swallow hard. Do I want to do this? Do I want to bark up this tree? Discover the hidden secrets? Am I ready for that? 

 

“I’m at work right now.”

 

“What about after?”

 

I bite my lip. Yes or no? Should I do this? I look into the sky like the answers will be in the heavens. Maybe the clouds will open and...and what? What do I possibly expect will happen? 

 

Mom? 

 

Juhyun. 

 

Is that who I think is there? Is that who I think will give me an answer? 

———————————————————

Katy slams on the breaks, I open the back of the rig and grab the underside of the gurney before pulling it out. Katy runs to my side and starts shouting details to the nurses and trauma doctor waiting for us. 

 

“GSW to the left shoulder. Through and through.” I don’t hear the rest of what Katy says over the sound of my own heartbeat. I take a deep breath as a group of us transfer the patient onto a hospital gurney. The man is hauled away seconds later. I turn to Katy who is breathing hard. My breath catches at the blood on her face. 

 

Without really thinking about it I reach up and drag my thumb over the dried blood on her chin. “You have blood on your face”. I whisper. 

 

Katy’s face flushes and she turns away from me. “Don’t do that”. She mumbles and walks by me and grabs our gurney. 

 

“Do what?” I ask. Katy pushes the gurney outside without responding to me. I help her settle the gurney in the rig and stare at all the blood in the rig. 

 

“We have a lot to clean up” Katy sighs. 

 

“You didn’t answer my question,” I reply. 

 

“I thought my answer was obvious. You touched me and I said don’t do that. Use context clues Joy.” 

 

Before Katy can step into the rig I rest my hand on her shoulder and turn her to me. “Why are you so upset with me?”

 

“I’m not.”

 

“You haven’t talked to me since the kitchen.”.

 

“I’m leaving you alone. Isn’t that what you wanted? That I leave you be?” I groan. 

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes. Really. I need to start cleaning this.”

 

“Katy stop. Will you just listen to me. Stop!” Katy stomps her foot and I’m not expecting the shove. I stumble back and barely have time to react to the barrage of pushes and punches Katy throws at my chest. Back against the building Katy continues to swing, she’s yelling something but I can’t understand any of it. 

 

I grab at her wrist and pulled her close. She protests a bit longer before something in her breaks and she just shuffles closer and lets me hold her. “Katy what is going on?” I ask into her hair. 

 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry Joy. I’m so sorry”. I shush her. 

 

What in the world is going on? “Talk to me Kim. Tell me what’s up”. 

 

Katy stares up at me. “I didn't mean to upset you earlier. I was wrong. I know that. But you’ve always told me everything. You’ve always confided in me. It’s always been you and I against the world. I love you Joy. You’ve given me these friends that I will always cherish and love. And you make my days better and my nights safer. You’re my best friend. I feel like we’re being ripped apart. You’re so focused on everything going on, which you should be. You’re getting married. Your family is back. Irene is your cousin. I get it. But you don’t talk to me anymore. You don’t lay in my lap and cry like you used to. We don’t even friendship cuddle anymore”. I let Katy rant against my chest. I look up to the sky again. What is up there? Are you up there Juhyun? This is Katy. She’s my best friend. 

 

I put my hand over Katy’s mouth to shut her up. “Listen. I love you. I was upset earlier. If you felt like this you should have told me sweetie. I can’t read your mind babe. But I will always love you. You will always be my best friend. You will always be family and you will always be someone I cannot live without. You Katy Kim Yerim are absolutely integral to my life. Without you I’m nobody.”

 

“Damn right”, Katy mumbles. I smile at my strong smol bean and hug her tight. 

 

“Wendy and I were talking about kids earlier.”  Katy jumps in my arms and I squeeze her tighter. 

 

“Woman let me go so I can have a full body experience!” Katy yells against my shirt muffling her. 

 

I shake my head and only held her tighter. “And I told Seo-Joon I would meet him and get to know him. But I needed to bring my fiancé and best friend Katy.” 

 

Katy gasps and fights even harder. I chuckled but don’t let up. “I was thinking I should carry for the first kid to. I haven’t told Wendy that though. You first”. 

 

Katy suddenly relaxes and slumps in my arms. She wraps her arms tightly around me and quietly whispers. 

 

“I just busted the biggest Uwu”. 

 

“That sounds disgusting”

 

“Shh. I love you.”

———————————————

When I get home Irene and Seulgi are there. Wendy is just about finished with dinner. I press a kiss to her lips as Katy shuffles up next to me and shoved me away. “Where are my kisses miss Shon”, with a quiet chuckle Wendy leans forward and kisses Katy’s cheek. I turn to greet Irene and Seulgi but Irene looks everywhere but at me. I hug Seulgi and decide not to hug Irene. 

 

A couple of minutes later we’re all eating and I realize that Seulgi and Irene are also awkward with Katy who hasn’t acknowledged them either. I shook Wendy a look, she simply shrugs. “So, Joy. I already told Wendy and we already told Katy. So you’re all that’s left. But. Seulgi and I are beginning the process of having a kid.” I drop my fork. 

 

“Oh my god! That’s so awesome!” I turn to Wendy with a big ole grin on my face, it drops quickly when I look at Katy though. Why does she look so upset? 

 

I stand to hug Irene and Seulgi. “That is so freaking awesome guys! I’m so happy for you. I was actually just telling Katy earlier that Wendy and I were thinking about having kids.” Seulgi squeals and I giggle in her excitement. 

 

“Ohh! I can just see it now. A bunch of little Wendy’s and Joy’s!”

 

Katy gives Seulgi a look, it almost looks like longing. Oh man I hope nothing is going on there. I’m about to say something when I notice Irene. She’s staring at me. Jesus. What is with everything staring at everyone. “Joy is thinking of carrying first” I groan. 

 

“Katy why must you always do this”. 

 

“Sorry sorry! I love you!” Katy laughs. I shake my head at her and there it is again! Only this time both Irene and Seulgi are staring at Katy. Wendy must notice the same thing because she looks at me and quirks a brow. I shrug. Something fishy is going on here. 

 

“Wait. You want to carry?” Wendy asks me. I nod a shy smile on my face. “Really?”

 

“Yeah. Why are you so surprised?”

 

“I don’t know. I thought you’d want to adopt or just leave it to me.” I shake my head. 

 

“No. I want to carry to. If I’m y now. Wait till my are big.” Irene sputters and I laugh out loud. Katy leans forward and we fist bump. 

 

“That’s my !” Katy howls. 

 

“I see why their friends. For so long I thought Katy was the wild card and Joy was the calm one. It turns out they’re exactly the same.” Seulgi says. 

 

“You know it buttercup” Katy says. 

 

“Alright. Enough of this baby talk. I need to tell you all something. I had only told Katy. But she has helped me see things. So, I’ve decided. I’m going to get to know my blood family.”

 

“Are you sure?” Wendy asks, placing a hand on my thigh. I nod and kiss her cheek. 

 

“I’m sure. Katy made a good point on my way here.”

 

“She makes good points?” Irene asks with a gentle smile. 

 

“I only make the best points ma’am” Katy jokes. 

 

“Ah I see”, are they flirting? What is going on?

 

“Anyway! Yes. Katy made a solid point. She said just because I don’t think I’ll gain anything from getting to know my blood family doesn’t mean they won’t gain something. They can’t tell me anything about myself. My mom and dad raised me. They know everything about me. My blood family doesn’t know me. They can’t help me. But I can help them.” Irene takes a shaky breath and I realize our relationship is going to change. 

 

We’re family now. 

 

“When I was a little girl, I used to read to you”. I look at Irene startled. She’s playing with Seulgi’s fingers. “In your nursery I drew a bunch of pictures. Uncle Seo-Joon helped me hang them up. The entire nursery was just my pictures. Sometimes my mom would let me spend the night, auntie Juhyun would let me sleep in bed with her and uncle Seo-Joon, I’d sleep with my head on her stomach and hear you kick all night.” Irene finally looks up at me and I realize she’s crying. “You were more than just a name to us Joy. You were going to be my best friend. My baby cousin to protect and guide through life. You have no idea how jealous I am knowing Junito was that for you and not me.” I stare stunned at Irene. 

 

Junito in exchange for Irene? Such a weird concept. I couldn’t imagine my life without my big cousin helping me. I’d be just another kid struggling to learn English without him. I’d be insecure and lonely. I’d have never broken out of my shell without him. 

 

“My uncle lied to all of us Joy. I know you think you weren’t wanted. But you’re wrong. My grandmother was so excited to meet you. She made you hats and clothes and little shoes. My mom was so heart broken when she thought you died. She lost her sister all she had left was you. If uncle hadn’t lied, my mom wouldn’t have let him give you up. My mom's sister was her life. Mom would have raised you as her own before she let him give you up. My father made your crib. Our family wanted you Joy. Losing you was the hardest thing our family went through. We barely survived it.”

 

Our family wanted you. 

 

Losing you was the hardest. 

 

Never give you up. 

 

“I don’t know what to say.”

 

“Don’t say anything. You don’t need to. But I do have a question.” 

 

“What?”

 

“Meet my mom. Your aunt.” I gulp. 

 

“I Uh. I don’t know Irene.”

 

“Please? I won’t force it on you. But my mom would truly smile again if she saw you. If she knew the truth.”

 

“But she’s in Korea.”

 

“We can get her a ticket tonight. She could be here by Wednesday.” Seulgi quickly interjects. I look to her and then to Wendy who is holding my hand. 

 

“What do I do?” I whisper. Wendy smiled and pulls me to her for a kiss. 

 

“I think I speak for all of us when I say, whatever you do we’ll be here.” 

 

“Yeah! We’re family.” Seulgi says, her eyes narrowing in a smile. Oh bless this cutie. 

 

I take a deep breath, am I ready for this? Does it matter? I’m not the only one hurting. I help people everyday. Why not help my family. “Okay. But, I need to talk to my family. I can’t just do this without talking to my family. I know your family loved me and they were lied to. But my mom and dad loved and raised me. My grandmother also made me clothing my grandfather used to drive me around in his old Thunderbird and tell me all kinds of stories. I have a cousin who held me and helped me. I had an aunt that taught me how to make my first macaroni necklace. 

 

I know I have a family with you Irene. But I’ve already got mine here and I cannot just leave them behind. I need to talk to them. I know they’ll be worried I’m leaving. I need to ensure them that I’ll be fine.” 

 

Irene nods and reaches forward to hold my hand. “That’s Fine Joy. But, they’re not just my family. They’re your family too.” 

 

I grin. 

 

My family too. 

 

My family that wanted me. 

 

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