Irene is not sure what draws her to Joy’s tiny friend. Some of it is an annoyance, because honestly. How can someone be so damn annoying? Some of it is genuine affection, Katy has a way about her. You want to gag her and read her a bedtime story all at the same time. But why she slept with her she’ll never understand, that was drunk Irene all the way. Irene also does not take any credit for the countless other times Katy joined she and Seulgi in the bedroom. 

They just seemed to stumble into it. They tried to stop, of course they did. But then Katy had a new plaything every other day and it really started pissing Irene off. This is so wrong, Irene had thought. Until, one night Seulgi came into the room nearly crying from guilt. When Irene asked her what was wrong, “I think I have feelings for Katy!” Seulgi had yelled. Irene was stunned, she asked for Seulgi to explain. 

“Ever since we told her we couldn't do this anymore she’s been with new people. And that's fine, because you and I have each other. She should have someone too. But I can't understand why I’m so upset about it.” Irene nearly sagged with relief. She felt the same way. 

Irene and Seulgi spent all night talking about their feelings and when they were done they spent all morning getting to know each other’s bodies again. All Irene knew was that she was head over heels in love with Seulgi, but she really didn't want Katy sleeping around. They probably should have told her, they probably could have found even more happiness if they had all three spoken about it. But instead, things ended with finality in an almost explosive way. But we haven’t gotten there yet, so for now. Irene and Seulgi tread the fine line between fulfilment and heartbreak with one Katy Kim daily. 

Katy has never felt more alone then when she drunkenly found herself at Seulgi and Irene’s apartment. She thought Joy falling in love with someone that wasn't her hurt, but it’s like whenever she begins to crawl out of the abyss of heartbreak and loneliness someone has to come and just kick her right back in. We can't do this anymore, they said. It’s not natural, they explained. What will people think? They questioned. 

All Katy could think was that just another person was leaving her, she had left the apartment feeling abandoned. She had met Victor a week later and then Julia. Some time later she met Victoria and then came an exchange student name Chanyeol. A couple days later was Juliana and then her brother. Joy , Katy simply laughed at herself. If only you knew. When she tried Dylan from second shift, Seulgi had called her. Come over, she said. She shouldn't have listened, but she went. And just like that, she was stuck in the cycle again. 

She’d get hurt again, she knew that going in. But we’re not there yet, so it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She must’ve been counting down the seconds to this. She looks so excited. “Have you eaten?” Joy shakes her head, “do you want me to cook something for us real quick?” Joy shakes her head again. 

“I just want to look at the papers first. I’m too wired to do anything else.” I nod and step forward, she looks like she’ll collapse on adrenaline alone. I cup her cheeks and kiss her gently in an effort to calm her. I don’t think it did much. 

“Before we do this. Let’s talk a bit." I grab Joy’s hand and pull her to the sofa, we sit and I expect her to let my hand go. She only holds it tighter.

“What do you want to talk about?”

I shrug, “everything. You’ve never wanted to do this before baby. You’ve never cared. And I’m nervous that you’ll be expecting a lot, you won't get many answers looking at your stuff baby. I just don't want you to get your hopes up, and all you see is a name you don't even know how to pronounce and an ultrasound.”

Joy’s jaw tightens and I figure I’ve hit a nerve. When she looks at me again her eyes are teary. “I don't know why I care. I love my parents. Why should I care? But even with this thought in mind, I care. I want to know, not to compare. But to answer the questions I have always had but been able to push to the back of my mind.”

“Like what baby?”

“Like why? Why didn't they want me?” I think I hear my heart break just a little bit at the tone in Joy’s voice. 

“Oh baby”, I pull her into a hug. Joy’s shoulders shake as she wraps her arms around me. 

“Why didn't they love me? Why didn't they want me? What was so wrong with me they couldn't just give me time? I got better, I would have gotten better for them too. Why couldn't they wait?” how do I tell her I don't know? How do I give her an answer I don't have? How do I mend my lover’s broken heart? 

“Let me make us something to eat baby. I don't want us to do this on an empty stomach”. Joy nods against my chest but does not move. I simply hold her tighter. “It’s going to be okay baby”.

“I know. I love you Wendy.”

“I love you too baby” I whisper into her hair. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I cross the space of my bedroom to a shoebox kept under the bed, my dad is eating and watching something on TV. “Hey daddy”.

“Hey honey, I didn't realize you were home yet. I thought it was still just Joy”. I shake my head and smile at my dad before leaning down to kiss his cheek. 

“I just got home a couple minutes ago. Did you and Joy stay out of trouble while I was gone?”

My dad groans and swings his legs off the side of the bed. “Yeah, her little friend was over. They stayed away from me. But I’m pretty sure her friend was hitting on me.” I roll my eyes, of course Katy would do that.

“Don't mind her. She’s a addict I’m pretty sure.”

“You have odd friends munchkin.” I roll my eyes at the nickname.

“I’m not a baby anymore daddy, I can take care of myself.” 

“I know. But as your dad it's my job to assist you where you might not be able to assist yourself.”

“Don’t worry. Joy assists me well.” I joke. My dad groans and squeezes his eyes shut tight, I giggle at the reaction and hip bump him. “There’s wine in the mini fridge by the way. If you want any.”

“What's that?” My dad asks pointing to the shoebox in my hands.

“Joy’s adoption papers.”

“Why do you have those?”

“Because she lives here now dad. So naturally all her stuff will come here now.”

“I meant like, why are you holding them right now.”

“Oh, Joy wants to look at them.”

“Why? I thought she didn't care?” I shrug. 

“Things change.” my dad nods and heads to the mini fridge. He whistles impressed by the collection in the fridge. 

“Fancy!” 

“Don't over do it daddy. I’ll be in the living room if you need anything.” My dad offers me no response. Joy is biting into a rice crispy treat when I make it back to the living room. “Hey baby”.

“Hwey” Joy waves, mouthful of rice crispy. So unhealthy. 

“Ready?” Joy nods, I sat next to her and open the shoe box. There is a pink blanket, a hospital name stitched onto it in korean.

“Do you know what it says?” Joy asks, the lettering. I nod, “What does it say?” 

“Jeju National University Hospital”, Joy hums and wraps her around me. I put the blanket aside, the next thing is a tiny ziplock bag with a golden wedding band in it, I hand it to Joy who pulls it out of the bag to inspect it. 

“There’s writing” Joy whispers.

I lean over and read it, “it says, Seo-joonie 1979 Juhyunnie” Joy looks at me and I can't read her expression.

“What does it mean?” 

I gulp, “I think it’s your parents names. But like nicknames, with their marriage date. It fits for your birth.”

“Say their names again.”

“Well, it was nicknames. So I'm assuming the names are, Seo-joon and Juhyun.”

Joy says the words quietly, as if she’s trying to figure out how to say it. “Say it again.”

“Seo-joon and Juhyun.”

Joy laughs bitterly, “I can't even begin to say these names. Jesus, you might as well be speaking alien to me.” Joy shakes her head, a wry smile on her lips as she flips the ring around in her hand. 

“Do you want to keep looking?” Joy looks at me and nods. I open the orange manila envelope, I pull out a bunch of papers. The first being Joy’s ultrasounds. At the top, is more writing in Korean. 

“What does that say?” 

“It’s your name, how along you are, the date, the location, the doctor and nurse who took it, and your parents names.”

“Say it.”

“Park Sooyoung. 17 weeks. January 8th, 1980. Jeju National University Hospital. Dr. Bae Suzy and Im Yoona as the nurse, Park Seo-joon father, Seo Juhyun mother.” Joy leans back into the sofa, while I look at the ultrasound. “Hmm, that’s odd”.

“What is?” Joy asks from behind me. I pass her the ultrasound and point at the top of the paper. “Bae Suzy, that’s Irene’s mom’s name. Kinda wacky right?” Joy smiles like she's not really paying attention. I hand her the next photo, the world really is wacky. “Do the names mean anything to you baby?” Joy shakes her head, the tips of the photos I pass to her.

Park Seo-joon. That sounds so familiar. Where have I heard that name before? “Is there anything else?” I'm startled out of my thoughts by Joy leaning over me again. I look down.

“Yeah, your birth certificate. The legal documents with your name change, your original social security, your custody transfer papers and your health documents.”

“Can I see the birth certificate?” I nod and hand Joy the pink paper.

Joy scoffs, “I can’t understand on this”. I lean over and point to the name.

“Here, it says your name. Park Sooyoung. Here, it says your dad’s name”. Joy looks up at me, a frown on her beautiful features.

“Where is my mom’s name?” I shrug. “Damn, she really didn't want me that bad that she wouldn't even sign my birth certificate. Jesus.” I kiss the side of Joy's neck and tell her that's not true. There could be a number of reasons why her mother didn't sign it. Joy pulls the paper underneath it to the top and smiles at it, I notice it soak through with her tears. 

The paper is in spanish. I tell her to read it. 

“Here, it says my name. Joy Maribel Ruiz Garcia. And here, it says my birthday. Here, it says my momI's name. Maya Rosalia Ruiz. here, it says my dad’s name. Cristobal Joaquin Garcia.” I lean my cheek on Joy’s shoulder as she chokes out her parents names. 

I hear shuffling from the left of me and see my red cheeked dad come walking into the living room. Joy looks up as my dad stands in front of us, “Daddy, what are you doing?” My dad sways and his eyes fixate on Joy and the papers in her hands.

“Why are you crying?” My dad asks with surprising clarity. I’m about to answer my dad and tell him to go lay down, but Joy beats me to it.

“No reason. Are you okay?” I'd have been shocked to see Joy say something not sarcastic to my dad, but I'm more surprised when my dad suddenly lunges forward and snatches the two birth certificates from Joy’s hands. “Hey, Aaron what the .” Joy reaches to grab the papers, but my dad steps back and scoffs.

“This is sad.” I’m about to ask him what is, but he looks to Joy and grins. “Your mom must’ve hated you. No wonder they gave you up, you’re ing annoying.” I’m too startled by my father's words to stop Joy when she shoves my father back. He stumbles and I jump up to stop the fight about to break out.

“Baby, baby wait. He’s drunk”. Joy’s face is a cool mask when she looks at me. “Baby, talk to me”. Joy merely looks down, grabs the papers on the floor and turns around. “Baby, wait. Where are you going?” I go to follow Joy but my dad falls down and knocks over a lamp. By the time I'm done dealing with my dad, Joy is gone. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Appa!” I yell as my dad dances in front of me. 

“What! I’m cool right?” I shake my head, laughing. “What? Why? This is what all the cool kids wear these days.” 

I shake my head again, “No. they do not wear purple skinny jeans.”

Appa scratches his head like he’s confused before he smiles brightly at me, “Hm, maybe I'm too old for this huh?” I nod sympathetically at my dad. I kiss his cheek as my phone rings. “Hello?”

“Summer?”

“Joy?”

“Um, yeah. Uh, I’m sorry for bothering you. I just wanted to see if your dad was okay”. I look up at my dad who is modeling a new pair of skinny jeans and a backwards Yankees cap. I chuckle.

“Yeah, he’s okay”.

“Oh. good. T-that, um. R--really good.” I quirk a brow, she sounds so sad. 

“Hey, uh. Joy, are you okay?”

“Y-Yeah! I’m awesome.” she sounds like she’s full of .

“Are you sure?” joy doesn't say anything for a bit. It sounds like someone is crying, is she crying? “Joy, where are you? Are you okay?”

“D-don’t worry”.

“Funny you should say that, I am certainly worried right now. Are you okay? Is something wrong with Wendy?” My heart drops at the thought of anything being wrong with Joy and her fiance.

“No, no. Wendy is fine. Um, can I see you?” 

“Of course. Where are you? We’ll come to you.”

“We?”

“Yeah”, I look up to my dad who is dressed in his usual suit and is walking towards me, “Me and my dad. You met him. The older man that was with me.” Joy mumbles something, I’m not sure      what. “Where are you?”

“I’m at S and A on third ave in the Bronx.” I grin.

“Awesome! We’re like a train stop away from there. Stay put”. Joy mumbles an okay and I look up to my always smiling father. 

“Who was that?”

“Remember the EMT that took care of you?” My dad nods, “Which one?” I put my hand up palm down, “The tall one.” my dad nods, he almost looks relieved. “Joy?” I nod and thread my arm through his. 

“We’re going to see her. She sounds sad. She’s super cool, I want you to properly meet her.”

“She seemed cool in the ambulance. Her friend was an interesting character”. I scoff, that is an understatement. “Why did she seem sad?” I shrug, there was something about her voice. She didn't seem as loud and confident as usual. “Do you know her well?”

“Eh, sorta. I’ve really only known her for about a week. But I feel like I've known her my whole life.” my dad smiles at me and squeezes the hand wrapped around his arm.

“Those are the best type of friends. The ones that just get you. It's special to have those type of friends.” I smile, Joy is pretty awesome. I leaned my head on my dad's shoulder as we walk to the train station.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should go and try to find Joy, or ask for help, or maybe kill my father. Oh god, what if she’s hurt? When Joy left I called her what feels like a hundred times. She never picked up. When I needed to calm my racing heart I focused on my dad, I took the wine bottle from his hand and gave him coffee and told him to drink. I don't know if it was the look on my face, or the tone in my voice but he didn't fight me. 

I should call Joy’s mom, she might be there. I reach for the home phone and click on Joy’s home phone in the directory. It rings twice before Cristobal picks up. “Cris!”

“Hello? Wendy? Is everything okay?”

“No, not at all. Is Joy there?” there's shuffling and then suddenly Maya is on the phone practically yelling. 

“Whas going on? Where is my baby?” 

“I don't know. I thought she would be with you.”

“Wha happen!” I bite my lip to not yell back at Maya.

“She got into a fight with my dad and stormed out.” Maya grumbles and I almost want her to say something stupid so I have someone to take out my aggression on “We be there soon.” Maya says, before hanging up on me. I roll my eyes. Rude. I look up at my dad who is whistling into his cup, I look away quickly lest I throw the phone at him. I call Katy, she would know what to do.

“Hello?”

“Katy! Hey, is Joy with you?”

“Nope, why? Everything okay?”

“She won't pick up her phone. And I don't know where she is”

Katy is silent for a minute, “Was there something in the papers that upset her?” I look up at my dad, hes sipping from the coffee.

“No, my dad was ”. 

“Of course. I’m coming over, we can find her together.”

“Okay, I'm going to call Irene and Seulgi.”

“No need, I'm with them.” on any other day I'd find that super weird, but I couldn't care less. I need to find Joy. Baby, where are you?

“Okay, see you when you get here. Joy’s parents are on the way too.” A couple minutes later there is a knock on my door. Jesus, did they fly over here? I walk over to the door but my dad jumps from his seat. 

“Wait Wendy. Let me check first. It could be a burglar.” I roll my eyes and not so gently shove my father back into the kitchen chair. 

“Shut up dad”, I check the peephole on the door and pull open the door. “Junito, hey. What are you doing here?”

“I heard what happened, I was still at work downstairs. Any word on Mari?” I shake my head and step aside to let Junito in. 

“Who are you?” My dad asks, standing up again.

“Dad, enough. Sit down and drink your coffee.” I pull Junito into the livingroom and sigh. He hugs me and oh my god I'm losing my mind. I needed that. 

“What’s going on Wen?” I'm about to explain everything, but something about the warmth just makes me choke on a sob instead. “Aw Wen, it’ll be alright. Don't worry. Just tell me what happened when you’re ready.”

I finally extract myself from Junito and move us to the sofa. I grab the papers lying around the sofa and put them in the box. “We were looking through all of Joy's adoption stuff.”

“Whoa why?”

I roll my eyes at Junito, can we all just move passed this? My god. “She wanted to look at it Juni. what was I going to tell her? No?”

“Nah, I just don't get why Mari wanted to see. She ain't ever care before.”

“Yes, I know. But she made a new friend and it made her wonder about her birth parents so she started looking”, I was about to finish explaining but the doorbell rang. “If that’s Maya and Cristobal I swear to god I’ll never know how they got here so fast. I literally just called them like fifteen minutes ago.” when I get up to open the door, I’m not even given a chance to reach it before it burst open and I'm once again annoyed that Joy hasn't taken that damn key back yet. My dad jumps like he somehow ready to fight everyone.

Maya rushes to me, she ignores Junito and my dad and just focuses on me. “Wha happen?”

I opened my mouth to explain, but Maya looks down and she must’ve seen the shoebox because she picks it up and starts shaking it in my face. “Dis! Is dis wha happen! Why you show her!” I attempt to defend myself but Cristobal rushes over and rests his palms on Maya’s shoulder.

“Amor, por favor. Deje que la nena explica”. (love please. Let the baby/girl explain)

“Joy wanted to look at the papers-”

Maya slaps the box in front of me, “Bu why!” I bite my tongue. Don't yell Wendy, she’s just stressed out. Don't say anything, take a deep breath.

“Because she wanted to see it Maya.”

“No, ju want’iy” I can't help the eye roll this time.

“Joy is a big girl Maya. she does what she wants, I didn't make her do anything. And if you would stop yelling at me and maybe just ing listen! You would know that the papers aren't what upset her, my ing father is!” in hindsight I probably shouldn't have yelled at Maya. But honestly, who does she think she is? I deserve respect, I’m not just some random Sears worker that she can bully just because. Before Maya can do anything, Junito swoops in and pulls Maya back as we start an all out yelling match. Cristobal stands in front of me and cups my cheeks before smiling at me, god he has such kind eyes.

“Nena, talk to me. Not her, she is just upset. Explain what happened to me”. I sigh and tell Cristobal what my father said and did. He pulls me into a tight hug, kisses my forehead and smiles at me, right before he whips around and promptly walks to the kitchen and decks my 52 year old father in the face and launches him right onto the floor. 

I don't understand any of the things Cristobal yells, but suddenly my door flew open and Seulgi           was pushing Cristobal back and trying to calm him. Irene is rushing to me, and Maya is hugging Katy like the world is about to end. I look up and make eye contact with Junito, he seems as lost as me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joy is crying when we get to her. I run to her, leaving my poor father in my dust. “Oh my god, Joy whats wrong?” Joy just shakes her head and pulls me into the tightest hug I've ever been in. when my dad reaches us, he smiles at me and shrugs. “Joy?” Joy finally lets me go, she laughs awkwardly and smiles. 

Joy sticks her hands out to my dad, “Hi. I'm Joy.” My dad smiles and shakes her hand. 

“Hi Joy. I'm Seo-joon. It’s nice to meet you without choking” my dad laughs. Joy doesn't react, she simply stares at him.

“Seo-joon?” She asks heavily accented. 

My dad nods, “You can just call me Joon, or Joonie if it’s easier for you.” Joy just nods, she has this look on her face like she’s confused by something and is trying to put all the pieces together. 

I put my arm around her shoulder and kiss her tear stained cheek, “Let's go eat Joy. you don't have to talk, just listen and eat okay?” Joy nods, but her eyes stay on my dad. In response, my dad just smiles back. 

We find a White Castle and file in, my dad orders while I sit with Joy. her hands are trembling, I hug her again. “Are you okay?” Joy looks up at me.

“Wendy’s dad, he um”, my dad is back, he sits down in front of us. “We don't need to talk about this. I’m sure you missed your dad, you don't need me ruining it.” before I can insist Joy speak, my dad pipes in.

“Nonsense, Sooyoung’s friends are my friends.” Joy chuckles, but despite the smile her eyes suddenly well with tears. I'm so startled I don't know what to do. My dad reaches over and holds Joy’s hands in his. “You know, Sooyoung is an excellent judge of character. I may not say it often, but my princess makes me very, very proud. And if she says you’re awesome, then I want to bask in the presence of awesomeness.” Joy lifts her right hand and clasps it over my dad’s hand holding hers and just breaks down. 

What in the world is going on? Joy cries, staring at her and my dad's hands. I have no idea what to do, so I look up to my dad like he has all the answers but he's looking back at Joy. The most surprising of all, is that my dad is crying to. 

What in the world is going on?

“Joy?” I rest my hand on her back, “talk to me, what happened?”

Joy clears and leans back, she and my dad do not let go of each others hands. “Um, well. I wanted to look at my adoption stuff you know? After talking to you, and seeing all the cool Korean stuff I just wanted to know more about myself”.

“You’re adopted?” My dad asks, his voice shaky. 

Joy nods, “Yeah, it's why i talk with a spanish accent. I was adopted when I was a little girl because I had a lung problem, like Summer. I was adopted by this awesome Puerto Rican couple. I was raised in Puerto Rico”. My dad simply nods. “Um, anyway. We we’re looking at my papers and stuff, and my birth certificate only had my birth father’s name on it and my fiance, Wendy. Her father came in, and just said that my mom didn't sign the paper because she didn't love me. And that's why my parents gave me away. Because they didn't want me. And that I was annoying”. Joy is crying again as she lets my father’s hand go, she pulls crumbled papers from her sweats pocket and lays them on the table, a ring rolls from her hand. My dad slaps his hand over the ring and looks from the ring to the papers on the table that Joy flattens out. 

My dad’s eyes dart from the birth certificate to the ring now in his hand to Joy’s tearful face. I’m startled when my dad jumps from his seat and nearly dives over the table and hugs Joy’s head to his chest. And I am beyond startled when my dad’s loud cries echo into the White Castle. He cups Joy’s cheeks and stares at her, he holds up the ring with a shaky hand.

“Where did you get this?” Joy looks confused as she answers.

“It came over with me. My birth father asked that my parents keep it with me.” My dad reaches into his shirt and pulls out a necklace, there's a diamond ring hanging on it. Unclasping the necklace my dad shows Joy something on the ring, Joy looks wide eyed from him to the rings. My dad leans back, he hold the birth certificates shakily and points at the names. 

“She loved you Sooyoung. She loved you so much. She died.” What the is going on? “She never got the chance to write her name. But she loved you so much.” At this I jump up from my seat.

“What the hell is going on?” I ask looking at my father. 

My dad looks at me, he slides the papers to me. “Sooyoung, look”. I look down at the pink birth certificate.

                 Park Sooyoung

Park Seo-joon             ____________