Confusion is clearly written all over my face. "I don't go to therapy anymore, I haven't gone to my therapist in months." 

"You haven't seen Mr.Choi in months?"

"My therapist was not Mr.Choi, I went to Mr.Jang."

Now it was their turn to be confused. "Wait a second. You don't go to the same place as Jonghyun Oppa?" Yeri said.

Nodding my head to refrain from needing to repeat myself. "Then how are you able to refill your SSRI pills?" Kai finally said something.

"I don't take them anymore, I carry them around with me just in case."

"Then why would Mr.Choi contact Onew hyung about you." As Taemin has said that we all turned our head to look at Onew Oppa to see him looking anywhere but us. 

"YAH! Hyung what's going on?" Minho Oppa pushes his arm to get as you can tell how frustrated he was getting.

"I don't know, here look at this message that I got from Mr.Choi." He then proceeds to pull his phone out of his pocket. As he was scrolling through his phone to I guess look for the message. He stopped midway, and slowly lifted his head looking very embarrassed. "Um, Mr.Choi sent me a message saying that she called the wrong person and that their name was Song Naeun..." 

Now it was Key's and Boa's turn to hit him. 'When did you receive that message?"

"Just recently, like around a few hours ago....'

The whole room became very annoyed and relief at the same time. "Naeun-ah, we're very sorry about how we handle the situation. We weren't in the right mindset, all very hurt and confused at the same time. As we grew up and train with each other, it was so natural for all of us to lean on one another. It just never clicked to us the pain to anyone who was just getting close to him as well. I don't know about anyone else but I'm very sorry for not knowing about your pain." Boa unnie had come closer to me and proceed to give a nice tight hug.

Being very hesitant as it was the very first hug that I have received in a long time that was actually genuine. Not a hug where so much pain was behind it, not one where it was to be polite. It felt very nice.

"Since we're all here, do you mind if we try to make this better by actually sitting down and catch up? We can even order some food." Tiffany unnie suggested with her beautiful eye smile.

"Oh! And even play some drinking games!!" Yeri jumped into the conversation.

As Tiffany chuckled from Yeri excitement about my seemingly endless supply of soju. "What do you say? We can celebrate your successful comeback, and resolve everything."

Knowing how they won't take a no for an answer I just give a slight nod. As excitement uproar the whole room I made an excuse to leave and a grab some space from everything. Just as I stepped into elevator Taemin came in and pressed the button to go up to the rooftop. As I was about to press the button to go back downstairs to 'grab more soju' he grabbed my hand. "What are you doing?"

"We both know that you weren't going to go grab more soju. You were just using that as an excuse to get away from everyone, then come back with a lame excuse. We were together for three years, you did this when you first met my family or the constant times when anyone or anything took you off guard. I guess old habits do die hard." With that, we had reached the top and he had proceeded to pull me to one of the empty benches. 

I guess he was right, old habits do die hard since I let him hold onto my hand and drag me out. Let him take the lead while I just follow along. 

Although I wasn't alone it does feel nice to know that I can have my mind at ease for a quick moment. Hating to admit this, but he is where my peace can be. Even with all the pains that came with it. 

"What's with you being so free in the public eye but hard to reach in your personal life? Did something happen again?" Taemin sounding shockingly concern.

"What makes you think that something happened." Wanting to sound as flat tone as possible, to let him know that I'm not very interested in proceeding with the convocation. 

"If I remember correctly, for the past few times when no one was able to get a hold of you. It would always happen when life was taking a toll on you. First when we broke up, the loss of Alex, the never-ending loan sharks, the booming popularity, then the day after the hospital. Your number would always change when an event happens."

"I'm impressed, you kept track of all the times my number changed. How can you be so certain that my number changed after every single hurdle in my life." 

"Because... Every time I was able to convince someone to give me your number, you change it again. As if you knew that I was reaching for you."

"Wh-wh-what do you mean you were convincing people to give you my number?" Clearly being taken by surprise, but then becoming more irritated at the sight of him. "Why would you be trying to contact me after ending everything I did for you. Not long after, you started dating other people. Who is it now that I've been hearing? Oh right, Sunmi. Stop playing this game with me. Telling me to reject every guy that shows interest in me, but you're out there living up your youth. I'm not a rag doll for you to just pick up when you run out of options. I'm finally able to overcome so much. Don't put me up so high just to tear me down."

He let out a low chuckle, making me more irritated by the second. "Do you honestly believe all of those rumours? Even all this time have you noticed that I still wear our bracelet. I would never be with anyone besides the love of my life. I never denied those stupid rumours has it was my brother who was dating them, and right now he's dating Sunmi. Since we look similar, the majority of the time everyone would mistake him for me at first glance."

"So what are you trying to say?"

"I'm trying to say that even though I want to be selfish. Go live up your youth, but let me earn and gain your heart back. Even if I need to fight your dozens of fanboys."

"How am I supposed to trust you, what if this is one of your little games again?"

"Then let me prove it to you."

With that, he left me there being dumbfounded. Trying to process what he had said. A part of me wants to believe him, but then again I'm not sure if I can. Over a year of pain and hardship, it has really changed my outlook on everything. But, I still can't seem to change what I see or what I want to see from him.

As I was entering back into my apartment I noticed that everyone had come back from grabbing whatever food that's available at this time of night. I then realized that I actually forgot to go back downstairs to grab the drink. As I was about to turn back around Taemin walked in with the case in his hands. "I knew you would forget." He whispered in my ear with a slight smirk on his face as he was walked pass.

After everyone had started to get tipsy from losing to the drinking games, it soon became a Q&A panel. Taemin and I didn't drink much as we usually end up causally drink along, as we weren't that good at drinking games. 

We were spinning a bottle to decide who gets to ask who. This time it was Key's turn, and it had landed on Taemin. After a lot of thinking, he finally came up with a question. "If you could go back in time, what day would you go back to and why?"

Without much thinking, he replied while staring at me, "I would go back to January 18, 2017, as it was the day I realized that I had lost something very important to me and more." 

January 18, 2017, The day that has started it all. Where we all went up into flames.

Not proofread.