Heading back into my dressing room after the rehearsal for the Korean Music Festival, I passed by Shinee's, and f(x)'s dressing room; they're sharing the same room since it's only Luna from f(x) that's performing tonight. Well, Yookyung is joining her. Yes, my Yookyung, the one who knew me better than anyone else; the one who's always making sure that I'm alright. The one who stuck by me to achieve our goal together. 

We would stick to each other like glue. But since the day she left, it's like that connection was never there. She would still be in our chat and even see the other members. We just ended up losing that spark that we had. Did I do something wrong? That was always on my mind whenever I see the other members acting as if she never left, or nothing has changed

I'm jealous of Luna. She is lucky to have gain such a wonderful friend. I wish to have one back into my life. Although I do have my members, it'll be nice to share my concerns and feelings towards someone I don't work with.

As I was busy listening to Hayoung's concern or at least pretend to be listening. When someone popped right in front of us, it was Minho Oppa. "Hey, um... would you guys want to join us for lunch?" Since that day, where we all drank at my apartment, the air doesn't feel as thick but still awkward. I love every single one of them, I really do. I hope one day we can move past this, but I don't think we'll ever be the same for a while.

"We have some grilled meat, your favourite Naeun-ah" Key chimes in, trying to convince us or me specifically. "Well that does sound good, what do you guys think?" Eunji unnie said while leading us all into the room. Here I am sitting in Shinee/f(x) dressing room with Bomi unnie and Namjoo dancing around from the excitement of getting the chance to eat anything besides salad.

I took a look around the room and didn't see any signs of Yookyung or Luna. "They're doing their rehearsal," Taemin said, handing me a plate of food. "I'm surprised that she was able to convince Yookyung to perform with her. After leaving the group, I never thought I would ever see her perform again." 

"Yeah, me too.." I let out a small chuckle to mast the bitterness in my voice. 

As I was busy eating my food, I didn't notice that someone had come into the room, it was Krystal. She was carrying a few bags of what seem like food, while dressed in a simple white t-shirt, jeans, and a hat. "Oh, hello, there are more people than I expected." She let out an awkward chuckle. "I guess that's good; I brought a lot of food and snacks." She said while holding up the bags.

As we were all busy trying to see where the place the food, they walked in. They came in laughing and having a good life, but once they saw once they were taken back. Everyone in the room seemed to have been frozen in time for a quick second to process what was going on until all of the members ran up to Yookyung to give her hugs. I stayed back as it doesn't seem like reality to me. 

Once all the members were done, we made eye contacts; but it didn't last long as Luna had pulled her into their corner to get their make up done. All I could do is sit back down and watch them in envy. "They sure do seem like two peas in a pot," I looked up to to see Krystal sitting next to me with a plate of food, the way she had said that I could see a glimmer of sadness in her eyes. "you would think they grew up with each other, and endured many hardships together." 

I could only let out a sigh and look their way. They do look very close, closer than I has ever been with her. "Don't try to make it too obvious of your jealousy over the two of them," Taemin said in a teasing tone while having a seat on the other side of me. "Who said that I'm jealous." Krystal and I both said at the same time. We looked at each other taken both taken back; then we let out a chuckle. Taemin let out his big goofy smile as well. "I was talking to both you. Everyone in the room has been watching the two of you guys look in that direction for the past ten minutes already. If looks can kill, they'll both be dead by now."

Soon after we had to get ready for our performance, when we were waiting for stand by, I saw Myungsoo Oppa or L from infinite. He was one of the MC for tonight. I remember having a massive crush on him in my early days. I tried to avoid my feelings towards him, but it didn't help that we shared the same dorm building and that our CEO were close friends. Let alone our members were fairly close as well. It took us a while to get to know each other as we're both timid, but we were starting to get close around the time I was about to start We Got Married. Once I booked the show we wanted to be extra careful not to be involved with any scandals, so we cut off our contacts. 

After the show ended, we would greet each other now and then and is conformable with each other. Before Taemin and I got together, we tried to see if any feelings were lingering; in the end, we much rather stay friends. "Oppa!" I came up behind up, scaring him a bit. He almost dropped the phone that was in his hands. "YAH! you scared me." All I could do was burst into a fit of giggles. I've always enjoyed catching up to him, he's someone who's very funny and is just a dork. It feels nice to let loose and goof around. 

I was so immersed in our conversation; I didn't notice that someone had been watching us from afar.

We were at my apartment after the festival. The members are all here. We wanted to crash at one place since we had a schedule early in the morning. My place was chosen since it's the closest to the filming site. We were seated together in the living room watching the latest Radio Star episode, Naeun was on this episode. I was enjoying it until she started talking about dating as an idol. It made me uncomfortable when she said that she was hoping to see DM on her Instagram, but was sadden to have not gotten any. 

Then the flashback of her being a little too friendly with Myungsoo backstage earlier made me very frustrated. Before I knew it, I was grabbing the extra bag of fruits and proceed to leave my apartment. "YAH, Taemin where are you going at this hour? Don't tell me you're bringing the fruit to Naeun! What are we supposed to eat!!!"

As I was waiting for her to open the door, Krystal came up from behind me. "Oh? what are you doing here?" Then her door opened, but it wasn't Naeun. It was none other than Myungsoo.

Not proofread.