Throughout these past few weeks, Soobin had been purposefully ignoring their maknae after everything that had happened. He wasn't ready to forgive Huening Kai for what he had done especially telling his mom something so personal. He hadn't even considered coming out yet and Huening Kai had taken away that special moment from him because of his jealousy. As a group, their relationship wasn't as strong as it used to be when they were trainees. After long hours of practice, schedules, interviews, music stage promotions and meetings, they'd part ways and do their own things. Beomgyu, Taehyun and Huening Kai with school. Yeonjun would spend most of his time going to the cafe nearby or skateboarding at the park whereas Soobin would keep himself holed up in their dorm binge watching movies and shows. 

Their dorm was empty which meant that Soobin could have some time to himself. To talk to his mom. Luckily, he still remembered her number otherwise he wouldn't know what to do with himself.

Shakily, he dialled his mom's number before pressing his phone to his ear whilst chewing on his thumb. He didn't even know what to expect. He didn't-

"Hello?"

"M-Mom," Soobin whispered, his eyes closing. He hadn't heard his mom's voice for a long time and he missed hearing it. It soothed him.

Soobin's mom gasped. "Soobin! How..how have you been?"

Soobin bit his lip, fighting back tears. "Good," he lied.

"Soobin, don't lie to me. We haven't spoken in ages."

Soobin stood up from the couch and started to pace around the living room, his body overwhelmed from his emotions. "I...so you know then?"

"That you like boys?"

Soobin nodded and suddenly remembered she couldn't see him. "Yeah."

Soobin's mom sighed. "Look, I don't care that you like boys. I only care that you're happy and okay."

A breath of relief escaped Soobin's lips as he tried to hold back a smile from spreading on his face. 

"I'm sorry," he instantly said, his mind flashing back to the last thing he said to his mom before leaving to pursue his dreams as an idol.

 

"It's your fault that dad left."

 

"Sorry for what? For doing what you wanted to do? I'm proud of you Soobin-ah for believing in yourself especially when I couldn't. I should be the one who's sorry. For being such a horrible mom and holding you back."

Soobin hadn't realized that tears were running down his cheeks as he burst out into a sob. His mom's words hitting him.

"Don't cry Soobin please. I'm always here whenever you need me. I'm just a call away. Cheer up, okay?" Soobin's mom comforted him.

Soobin sniffled, wiping away his tears. "Okay mom. I love you."

"I love you too."

 

 

Yeonjun quietly munched on his pretzel as the breeze softly kissed against his skin. Ever since that day he had comforted Soobin when they had found out what Huening Kai had done, things had slowly started to change. Everyone gradually became distant with each other. Soobin was tense around everyone including Yeonjun and it hurt him.

He didn't think that he would treat Yeonjun like this especially after everything that they had been through. 

He was angry that Huening Kai could do such a thing to a person that he claimed to love. Sometimes he would think to himself if maybe Soobin did feel the same way about Huening Kai but didn't wanna admit it. Besides, before all of this they were really close. He knew that Soobin had countlessly told him that he didn't feel the same way but somehow deep in his mind he couldn't help but think otherwise.

And it scared him.

 

 

Huening Kai gazed up at the light blue sky—the pure white clouds swirling above him. The clouds almost reminded him of Soobin. How pure and innocent he was. How kind he was despite how people treated him. Huening Kai knew he was an idiot and he kept constantly messing up because of his stupid jealousy.

Everytime he would get somewhere with Soobin, he would end up making the same mistake and that's when Yeonjun would take his place. Yeonjun would always be the one to steal Soobin's heart. It pained Huening Kai to see the older treat Soobin the way he wanted to treat him. He wanted to be the one to kiss Soobin, hug him and cuddle with him.

Not even that but he was burden to everyone. His fans. s. Beomgyu and Taehyun practically hated him especially Yeonjun and Soobin. Soobin couldn't even look him in the eyes anymore. Everytime they were in the same room—it was like talking to a brick wall. He would try and make conversation with the other members but they would just turn their backs on him. It made Huening Kai feel worthless and small like he didn't matter. No one would really care if he disappeared from the face of earth anyways.

He had managed to escape from his managers protection and ran as fast as his two legs could take him. He had even skipped school. 

He ended up in an unfamiliar place. It was different and more quiet. Despite there being people on the streets, he kept getting funny looks but ignored them. He didn't belong here.

Slowly starting to feel scared, Huening Kai wrapped tugged his yellow hoodie sleeves further down his arms.

"Yah, you."

Huening Kai decided to keep on walking as he kept his head down low. Goosebumps starting to rise against his skin as he felt a group of footsteps behind him. Suddenly he was stopped as the boys ran in front of him and stopped him from continuing to walk. They circled around him, staring at him as if he was prey.

"You're not from around here are you? What's a pretty boy like you doing around this part of Seoul huh?" One of the boys with bright red dyed hair strangely grinned, eyeing Huening Kai up and down.

Huening Kai nervously swallowed as he kept his gaze on the pavement, too terrified to look up. "I..got lost."

"Wait," another boy suddenly exclaimed, holding his friends back as he burst out into a loud laughter. "I recognize him from somewhere. Guys," he blinked at his friends, "he's an idol."

The red-haired boy wrapped an arm around Huening Kai who visibly flinched. "Say, why don't we show you around Mr Idol?"

 

Taehyun had invited Beomgyu to the arcade and being Beomgyu—he loved games and couldn't turn down the offer. They were just going as friends and nothing else besides he needed a little break from the heavy tension surrounding the other members. 

"Woo hoo!" Taehyun screamed, winning another round of the zombie game he had been hooked on since they got there.

Beomgyu rolled his eyes before sighing, he gave up. Taehyun was too good and that was a fact. "I seriously can't win this ."

Taehyun paused the game and glanced over at Beomgyu who stood up. "Where are you going?"

"To get some food. I'll be back," Beomgyu said without looking back as he walked over to the mini fast food place where the arcade served food such as burgers, fries and milkshakes.

He was starving. He hadn't gotten a chance to properly eat and he could stomach anything right now.

"Can I help you?" The female worked asked, a bright smile plastered on her face. 

Beomgyu's eyes trailed down to her name tag which read Lia. That's a pretty name.

"Uh, can I just get some large fries and two milkshakes please," Beomgyu ordered whilst getting the money to pay out of his pocket. 

The worker, Lia, immediately shook her head whilst holding both hands out. "Ah it's on the house! I could see how down you were."

Beomgyu raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "So you were watching me?"

Lia's cheeks flushed red as she awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. "No, no! Nothing like that I just..okay fine. Yeah I was watching you."

Beomgyu chuckled, embarrassed that he might have been doing something stupid not realizing that a girl had been intently watching him for the past hour. "I-"

"Hyung, what's taking so long?"

They're interrupted by Taehyun who stared back and forth between the girl and Beomgyu. His face turning bitter once his brain registered what was taking him so long. The girl was flirting with Beomgyu.

"Sorry. I'll take your order now," Lia sheepishly apologized, bowing before rushing over to the back where the food was being made.

From the corner of his eye, he could see Taehyun giving the girl a mean once over.

It wasn't like he was jealous or anything.

Okay that was a lie. He was totally jealous. Even though Beomgyu had never specified which gender he completely liked, he didn't want the older to like girls more than him. It sounded selfish but that's how he felt.

He wanted Beomgyu for himself and himself only. 

After what seemed like ages, their order had finally came. The girl giving Beomgyu his food, their eyes locking before Beomgyu grabbed the bag and looked away. Taehyun let out an annoyed grunt before snatching the bag out of Beomgyu's hand and returning back to the games section.

Beomgyu smiled at the girl one more time before following after Taehyun, his expression changing. "What's your problem?"

"Nothing," Taehyun mumbled, chowing down on his fries.

Beomgyu sighed, sitting down next to the brown-haired younger. "I don't like the girl if that's what you're thinking. We just talked."

"How are you so sure? For all I know, you," Taehyun paused, pouting.

Beomgyu waited for him to finish, impatient. "I don't what?"

"You might not even like boys," Taehyun finished, looking away.

Beomgyu nibbled on his bottom lip, processing Taehyun's doubts. Maybe he was right but he was still figuring it out and things would change. He wasn't even sure he liked girls so how could he be a hundred percent sure he didn't like boys. 

"Come on let's head back. It's getting late," Beomgyu swiftly changed the subject, standing up and putting on his jacket. "We can finish our food along the way."

Taehyun nodded, also standing up and putting on his padded coat before following after Beomgyu out of the arcade.

The cold wind immediately hitting them as soon as they stepped outside. 

"Do you think Huening Kai's okay?" Taehyun quietly asked as they walked side by side along the road. Cars and people passing them by.

Beomgyu guiltily stared down at the floor. "I don't know but I hope he is."