-Junmyeon’s POV-

I don’t know for how long I cry for her. I was holding her when I realize that this is the end of nothing that can change her mind.

“She doesn’t want to undergo chemo.” I said while holding on the cup that I have. We are drinking. All of them are here, they are trying to understand every sh*t that I have right now.

“She was ?” Jongdae asked and I know what he was trying to say so I nod.

“She got all the excuse in the world that’s why she left you.” I said to kyung soo who is still looking at me.

“After all chemo theraphy that we’ve been thru, I thought -- ” I tried to continue but damn my --

“I thought everything will be okay. But here we a-are again.” I continued. I add another shot on my glass but they stopped me.

"Ya."

"Hyung!"

“I-I don’t know anymore.” I said and curled myself up and buried my face on my knees. This is the first time that I showed them how weak I am. How weak I am for my girl.

“Hyung~.” I heard them and their hands on my shoulders, on my back.

“We know that Ha Eun don't want to see you like this.” Baekhyun said.

“She’s refusing everything.” I said and wipe my tears.

“She just want to continue what we have right now.”

“Ha eun aa -- ” I don’t know for how long I am crying. But all I remember is calling her name.

Weeks after weeks. I need to finish our World Tour schedules. I know that work is inevitable but this is a promise to all our fans all over the world. We are calling each other almost everyday. We video call at times because I damn miss her.

“I’ll be home tomorrow.” I chatted her as soon as we are in the plane. It was an almost 8 hour flight going back to Seoul. I came back as early as I can, after the concert. I make my way to the airport.

I don’t know for how long I sleep, but all I remember is the same clouds that welcome and goodbye ed to me - we are now back to Seoul. I almost run when I saw our van. I know she was inside. I hurriedly open the door and to see that she was at the back sleeping. I slowly put my bag down and held her head to lean on me. I her hair slowly but -- to my surprise few of her hair stuck on my fingers. I close my eyes and said a short prayer. No.

“Your here.” She said and I smile. I hide my hands.

“You should just stayed at home.” I said and kisses her forehead.

“I just miss you.” She said and hug me. I close my eyes, wanting to stop my self from crying.

“Ha eun aa. ” I said but she just stayed still on my shoulders but her hands slowly ... became lifeless.

“Ha eun aa?.” I asked and face her to me, she’s unconscious.

“Hyung, to the hospital. HURRY!” I shouted, trying to wake her up.

“HA EUN AA!” I shouted but no avail. Damn it. As soon as we arrive at the hospital, doctors take her to the emergency.

I was pacing back and forth waiting and waiting for hours. Ha eun please. Not this time. Not --

“Junmyeon aa” I heard, it was Dr. Choi.

“What happened?” I asked him.

“Not that good. She needed to stay in hospital for the mean time.”

“And we need to do chemo as early as this time.” He continued.

“But Ha Eun is still not -- ” and I nod. She doen’t want it.

“I understand her. But this time, just like what I told you. Slowly things will be hard for her.“

“She might passed out from time to time. She might feel the pain of her head throbbing but it was the tumor inside her head.. It might get bigger. Bigger than the last diagnose to her.”

“If you can get her approval for all the medication, please help her.” He continued. I brushed my hair. I inhaled deeply.

“Her time to heal will be short.” He patted my shoulder. I looked at him.

“3 months. ” He said and leave. My knees slowly loosing all the energy that I had, I sat down on the floor. Damn 3 months. I brush my hair and cry. I cover my face with my hands.