Tears
HERSHEIt was the night of the party.
Amber, who looked exquisitely handsome in her suit, drove Irene and Krystal to the grand ball. Irene wore a simple black off-shoulder dress while Krystal wore something extravagant, a full-skirted red cocktail gown curving the shape of her body.
Taemin brought his boyfriend along while Yeri and Taeyong, who are almost done with their internship, came in together too.
Seulgi and Wendy came in together too. Although limping a bit, Seulgi can walk now without a crutch.
Wendy is wearing an elegant green dress while Seulgi wears simple smart casual attire: black slacks, v-neck shirt inside, and a gray wool coat. They went first to greet Irene's team, where a little punching battle happened between Seulgi and Amber, then they went straight to sit at the graphics team table.
Irene watched Seulgi and Wendy as they walk away from them, determined to do one thing tonight.
---
Irene's mood is ruined but this certain couple from the other table.
She's trying to stay calm by pretending to be happy, talking to her team. But she can't stop herself from looking at the Graphics Team's table and see 'them' happy and sort of sweet.
The feeling Irene thought would go away lingered instead, and it went worse as the night passes by. It's like a poison that slowly builds up in her chest, gradually getting heavier, making her feel like she just wants to explode.
"Hey. You sure you're all right?" Krystal asked her for the third time that night.
"Yeah. I'm just not feeling quite well, maybe getting a fever or something," said Irene.
Krystal checked Irene's forehead with a hand. "Do you want to go home now? I could ask Amber to drive you."
"No. I'm fine. Let's just enjoy tonight."
Out of the blue, a burst of loud laughter from the Graphics Team caught some attention. Irene couldn't control herself from looking again, only to see Wendy laughing with the entire team, one hand on Seulgi's thigh.
Irene quickly averted her gaze and sighed.
"Are they together yet?" asked Krystal, looking at the same table.
"I don't know." Irene shrugged. She sliced the chocolate cake on her plate and took a bite. "Maybe Amber knows something?"
"Uh. No." Amber made an 'x' sign with her arms. "Seulgi isn't the type of friend who shares things like this."
"But I thought you were the best buddies?" asked Krystal.
"Yes, we are. But Seulgi isn't a fan of confiding about girls unless she's having a problem. Unless there's no issue yet, I don't think she will share details about her thing with that Wendy."
Irene bit the inside of her cheek, thinking if Amber already knows what happened between her and Seulgi.
"I could ask her straight if you two are curious," said Amber.
"Let's just assume that they are together," said Irene, not wanting to hear more about them. "Even if they aren't official yet, it's obvious now that's where they'll head, right?"
"Maybe," said Krystal, glancing one more time at the other table. "But I thought Seulgi is in love with another girl?"
Irene and Amber looked at each other quickly.
"Uh. That. I don't know what happened to them." Amber scratched her head. "The last time we talked about that girl was before the Seulgi's accident."
"Have you met her?" Krystal followed up.
"Uh--"
"All right ladies and gents!" said the host on the stage. "The ball is now open for anyone who would like to dance. The real party has started!"
People screamed in excitement. The dance floor is now swarmed with people. Men in suits took their coats off and folded their sleeves up. Some women in dresses didn't mind dancing without their heels. Others were prepared enough to bring extra attire.
"Your highness, would you do me the honor of accompanying me to the dance floor?" asked Amber, offering a hand to Krystal.
"It'll be my pleasure." Krystal took Amber's hand. She got up and turned to Irene before leaving. "We'll be right back."
Irene is glad not all of her team members were in the mood to dance, giving her some company while waiting there. She took that opportunity to observe the couple from the other table.
"Ugh. How would I be able to talk to her if that Wendy won't leave her side even for a second?" she muttered to herself.
Irene couldn't count how many times she sighed that night. The need to fill her lungs with oxygen arises each time she sees Wendy and Seulgi laughing at each other, smiling like no one else matters.
It just made her think: is there still a point talking to Seulgi tonight? Would that even help in changing the current situation? What if Seulgi is really over her?
Isn't it ironic how she loved seeing Seulgi's smile and despised it at the same time just because those smiles were meant for another person?
If would have been Irene had she been brave enough.
Irene felt her heart jump when she saw Wendy and Seulgi get up from their chairs, Wendy gesturing a hand to the dance floor. Irene unconsciously placed a hand on her chest, feeling her heartbeat rising.
The two walked towards the crowd with Wendy patiently assisting the limping Seulgi.
Irene felt a pinch in her heart when Wendy guided Seulgi's arms around her waist.
Despite the loud disco music, Wendy and Seulgi started swaying together, slowly yet sweetly.
Irene felt shortness in her breathing. The weight on her chest makes her want to burst now. She can literally feel her heart erratically beating at the moment.
"Irene?"
She didn't notice that Krystal has already approached her. Her eyes were locked on the dance floor.
Wendy moved closer, hooking her chin on Seulgi's shoulder. Seulgi whispered something to her ear, making her giggle.
Wendy pulled away and stared at Seulgi's face. She held Seulgi's cheek with both hands...
... and slowly... Wendy leaned forward to...
Irene looked away and stood up from her chair. Her vision is blurry. She aimed for the exit but Krystal grabbed her by the arm.
"Irene, what's wrong?"
Irene turned to Krystal quick, still trying to hold off the rainfall.
"I don't know... I don't know..." Irene shook her head. She yanked her hand away and strode towards the exit.
---
Krystal tried to call out one more time but her friend didn't turn back. She trailed where Irene was looking at and saw the scene.
Right there and then she knew it.
Amber, who saw what happened, held Krystal by her waist. "I think you should follow her. I'll try to talk to Seulgi too."
---
Because of her blurred vision, Irene doesn't know where her feet had brought her. She ended up in some place that looked like a playground.
She clasped for something that seemed to be a back of a chair to support her shaking body. She sat and covered her face with her palms.
It's all clear to her now. It's over. Everything about her and Seulgi is over.
But what she can't accept is the fact that she knew she had the chance, she was just too dumb to take it. And now it's all gone.
"Irene..."
All her inhibitions faded when she felt Krystal rub her back. Irene couldn't hold it this time, everything flowed out. Her sobs grew louder as it shakes her small frame.
"Just cry it all out," said Krystal, sitting down beside her. "It'll lessen the pain somehow."
"Is it... is it supposed to hurt this way, Krystal...?"
"Yes, it is. It hurts that way because you love her."
Irene turned to face Krystal, wiping her tears with her own hands, which is pointless because tears just keep rolling down from her eyes.
"I always thought this is just a phase... something that will go away in time..." Irene shook her head. "But it didn't..."
Krystal sighed.
"Was... was I wrong for being scared, Krystal? Was I?"
"No. No. You're not. That's perfectly normal." Krystal brushed the remaining stray hair away from Irene's face. "You were struggling because you never thought you'd fall for someone like her."
"But it is my fault... She... she confronted me about it and I pushed her away..." Irene trembled. Her voice was all nasally due to her stuffy nose. "And now look at me... crying over her because she's found someone new..."
Krystal pulled her friend for a hug. "What do you want to do now?"
"I just wanna go home..."
"Don't you want to talk to Seulgi first?"
"No... I just want to go home, please..."
Krystal continued rubbing her friend's back. "Okay. Okay."
---
"W-what was that for?" asked Seulgi, stunned. Although the kiss neither touched her lips nor her cheek, it left her dumbfounded.
"That's for the final blow," said Wendy with a smirk, fixing Seulgi's collar. "I needed to pull out a show for your girl to realize what she really feels for you."
That made Seulgi look at Irene's table and found her not there. "You--"
"I made her jealous," said Wendy. "I had to make her feel I'm into you so she'll feel alarmed. Not that I'm not into you. I mean, I like you but not really romantic."
Seulgi scratched the top of her head in confusion. "I don't get it."
Wendy rolled her eyes. "Just go and follow her out. She went that way. I'll answer your questions some other time."
"But what about you?"
"I'll take a cab home, Seulgi."
"You sure?"
"Definite. Now off you go before I get mad at you," said Wendy, shooing Seulgi. "Just make sure that the next call I'll be receiving from you is good news, okay?"
That made Seulgi smile. "Sure. I owe you big time, Wendy."
---
Seulgi saw her handsome friend in suit walking towards her.
"Dude, what the hell was that? I thought you love Irene?" asked Amber. "What was that thing with Wendy?"
Seulgi pinched the bridge of her nose. "It's hard to explain things now. But please tell me where Irene is. I need to talk to her."
"You better fix this or else Krystal will kill you," said Amber, leading the way out.
---
The two looked around but couldn't find Krystal and Irene. It is when they've finally gone back inside when they spotted Krystal walking alone towards the entrance.
Seulgi, who was still limping, approached Krystal as fast as she could. "Where is she?"
"I helped her get a cab. She's on her way home."
"What? I... I need to follow her," said Seulgi, fishing her car key from her pocket.
Krystal tapped her shoulder. "No need, Seulgi. It won't work for now. Let her anger subside first. I suggest you talk to her tomorrow."
"Bu--"
"You won't be able to fix it tonight, I can assure you that."
"But, Krystal..."
"She might be right, dude," said Amber, putting her arm around Seulgi's shoulder. "The damage looks bad. Let Irene cool down for a while. Settle this tomorrow."
Seulgi stared at Amber and Krystal for long before she sighed in defeat. "Fine."
"Maybe you should go home too, dude. You look tired."
"No. No one's going home yet," said Krystal, making the two look at her. "No one's going home unless you two tell me what exactly is happening here."
---
"Dear, what happened?" said Irene's mom, knocking on her door.
"Just... just work issues, Mom. I'm going to sleep now," said Irene, trying to make her voice sound as clear as possible.
"No. You're not okay."
"I'm fine, Mom. Just leave me alone for now..."
"Is this because of Bogum?"
"Bogum and I are okay. It really is work issues. Don't worry about me..."
"Or is this because of that Suzuki Swift owner friend of yours?"
Irene whipped her head to the door, bewildered.
"Kang Seulgi, right?" asked her mom.
"H-how did--"
"Why don't you open your door first so we could talk better?"
Irene obeyed. The door revealed her mom leaning against the door frame with crossed arms.
"Don't you realize I have my connections to look up the owner of that car's plate number?"
Irene grimaced at her stupidity. "I don't want to argue with you on this, Mom," she said, plopping back down her bed. "And for the sake of your peace of mind, we're not together, okay?"
"So, it really is because of her?"
As much as Irene wants to take the idea off her mind, it keeps on recurring to her.
"Mom, please... I don't want to cry again... I just want to sleep... I still have work tomorrow..."
The older lady sat down beside Irene. "Tell me, what happened?"
Irene thought she had already cried everything out from the hotel. But she felt the ache coming back and her eyes were teary all over.
"Why does it have to be so painful?" said Irene, her voice breaking.
The older woman rubbed Irene's back. "What has she done to you?"
"Nothing... I was the one who hurt her first... I told her I cannot be with her. And now I can't stand seeing her with someone else..."
"Oh, darling."
"I did it because I know you won't accept it, you won't accept her; you won't accept us, right?"
"B-but I thought you like Bogum?"
Irene shook her head. "What I felt for Bogum is nothing compared to what I'm feeling for her. I just couldn't admit it to myself before..."
Irene cupped a hand over to stifle her sobbing. Her tears kept on wetting the pillow. She thought she was okay after all the crying earlier but it feels like she's back to square one.
"I'm sorry, Mom..."
"What are you apologizing for, dear?"
"I'm sorry for being like this... for disappointing you..."
"Oh, dear."
"I've tried to stay away from her... I don't know how it happened. The next thing I knew is I can't go on a day without seeing or even hearing her voice..."
Her mom sighed.
"And I'm sorry for keeping this secret from you, Mom..."
"Didn't you think I already have an idea about it?" said her mom.
Irene looked her the older lady. "What? H-how?"
"I'm not dumb not to notice how your mood is so vibrant each time that red Suzuki Swift drives you home or picks you up. It's something that I've never seen before from you, that's why I investigate."
"Then why didn't you say something?" asked Irene, sitting up.
"I was waiting for you to tell me about it. I thought it was just a simple crush, so I didn't bother to confront you about it. But as time goes by, it seems to me it's getting deeper. That's why I've thought of forcing you to go out with Bogum," her mom admitted.
Irene put her hand up to her neck and looked away.
"I thought going out with him would bring your old feelings back. But as I can see, it didn't work. That Kang has surely something, huh." The older lady scoffed.
Irene was able to make out a small smile.
The woman reached for Irene's hands. "Let me clear it up. I still don't want you having that kind of relationship..."
Irene looked down and nodded.
"... but at the same time, I don't want to see you cry like this again because of me."
Irene looked up to her mom.
"I know how it hurts to lose someone you love. I've been there when your dad left us," her mom said, Irene's hair. "But it's more painful to know that you love each other but you can't be together because the others just can't accept it."
"Mom--"
Irene's mom hugged her suddenly. "Oh, dear. I should be the one apologizing because I've caused you so much pain. Didn't you think I noticed how slowly you were dying these past few weeks? Was it because of her too?"
Irene nodded. "But I'm gonna be fine..."
The woman pulled back. "I'd like to make it up to you. I'd like you to know how it feels to be loved by someone you love. I'd like to see that smile again on your face which I only see each time that red car drives you home."
Irene stared at her mom. "What do you mean?"
"Don't hold yourself back now, darling. If there's still a chance, get her back and smile again."
Irene's jaw fell.
"But on one condition," her mom said, raising an index finger. "If everything goes okay, bring her here to meet me."
"Oh." Irene bit her lower lip in hesitation.
"I promise I won't kill her, okay? I'll just skin her alive."
"Mom!"
The older lady laughed. "I'm kidding, okay? As long as she doesn't hurt you I'll keep the knives on the shelf. Is that clear?"
Tears formed again in Irene's eyes, not because she's hurting but because she's feeling close to her mom more than ever.
"Thanks, Mom. I love you..."
"Now stop crying there and get some sleep." The older lady wiped her daughter's tears and hugged her again. "I love you too."
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