Offline
HERSHEIrene sat at her table after getting tea from the pantry. She opened their company IM to check if a certain person is already in.
'Kang Seulgi is offline.'
Her brows furrowed. Seulgi is never late for work.
It has become Irene's habit to check on Seulgi daily thru their IM. And without her complete awareness, Irene's not just doing it every morning, but every hour of the entire shift.
She checked her phone too to see if there were messages. Apparently, none.
The status didn't change the entire day, making Irene feel weary. If it wasn't for the thought Eric would find it weird for her to ask about Seulgi she might have already asked him.
In fact, she was so close to doing that.
When the clock struck five, Irene glanced at Mr. Baechu and petted it.
---
"Something bothering you?"
Irene turned to Bogum with a confused face, barely heard what he said.
"Are you all right? You're spacing out again," he said.
Irene propped her elbows against the car door and gazed out the window. "I'm just thinking of something."
"Penny for your thoughts?"
"Mmm. It's mostly about work."
"Work? That work has certainly been bothering you for days now, huh?"
Irene looked at Bogum.
"You were not yourself over the weekend, you know." Bogum smiled as he focuses on the road while driving. "In fact, you were not in yourself since I picked you up from work last Friday. Something wrong?"
Irene turned back to the window. That Friday conversation had surely disturbed her entire weekend. Everything was boring for her. Everything was lifeless.
As much as she wanted to stay and talk to Seulgi that night, she can't. Bogum needed to pick her up to have dinner with her mom somewhere in the city.
And as much as Irene wanted to tell Seulgi the truth that night, she couldn't. She was not prepared for that kind of talk yet. Somehow it scared her.
All the troubles from the past few days sunk into her that night; her mom, Bogum, Seulgi--Irene can't sort them out.
In the end, Irene knows she said things she didn't mean. She avoided the questions. But she never thought running away that night would hurt her the way she's hurting now.
During Seulgi's interrogation, questions started popping out of Irene's head: are her feelings for Seulgi enough reason to be in a relationship with her? And how serious is Seulgi about this too? Will it be worth it to risk everything now to be with her?
While Seulgi was cornering her with questions, Irene felt the need to escape because she doesn't want to make impulsive decisions she'll regret in the end.
And now she's hella worried about Seulgi's whereabouts. After what happened last Friday all she wanted is to talk to her, at least explain to her the reasons for her confusion. Irene still wants to let Seulgi know that no matter how confused she is it is Seulgi whom she wants to be by her side by the end of each day.
"I'm just probably stressed," said Irene instead. It was followed by a sigh.
"I'm all ears, just in case you need someone to talk to," said Bogum.
Irene nodded and turned back to the window.
---
"Home sweet home." Bogum pulled the car over in front of Irene's house. He turned to his passenger who's struggling to unlock her seatbelt. "Let me help you with that."
Bogum leaned over. And instead of leaning away to give room, Irene didn't move. She took that opportunity to look at the boy she once liked so much. She stared at him as if expecting something would happen to her.
"There." Bogum raised his head and met Irene's eyes, realizing the close proximity of their faces.
Because Irene wasn't moving, Bogum took it as a sign. He propped his arm against her chair and slowly leaned closer to her.
It was when he closed his eyes when Irene realized that what she's doing is insane.
"Bogum..." Irene tilted her head down. "I-I'm sorry. I... I can't do it..."
Bogum pressed his lips together and pulled back.
"No. I'm the one who should be sorry. I shouldn't have done that," he said.
"I'm sorry too. It was my fault. I gave you mixed signals." Irene shook her head. "It's just that wasn't sure of what to do before. I was confused."
"Hey." Bogum patted Irene's head. "You're not alone in this. Remember, we're still both trying to figure things out."
"But I... I think I've already figured out mine." Irene exhaled. "And it's not with you."
Bogum smiled. "Fair enough. At least you've decided now, hmm?"
"I'm sorry."
"Hey. Don't be. This is our goal, remember? To help us answer the questions. Glad you got yours soon." Bogum looked away. "And because of that, I think I've solved mine too."
"What do you mean?"
"Let's just say I felt relieved after what you told me." Bogum chuckled. "Which means, I am still not over my ex yet. Maybe it would take time. Maybe I should grieve more or cry more. But yeah, at least I know now going out with you won't cure me."
Despite not really feeling good, Irene was able to make out a small smile in response.
"I'm still here if you need someone to talk to, especially the things you can't tell your mom, okay?" said Bogum.
Irene felt a weight lifted from her chest. "Thank you, Bogum."
---
Irene is lost in deep thoughts again while staring at her ceiling.
It just doesn't feel the same.
She was expecting there would be at least an effect on her; heartbeats rising, butterflies in the stomach, over consciousness, anything similar to what she feels when Seulgi is in the same proximity as how Bogum was earlier.
But there was none. Irene felt nothing.
Bogum doesn't have the power to possess her, possess her in the way Seulgi can.
Irene checked her phone, hoping to see a message from Seulgi. She knows she could just message or call her but she doesn't have the guts to do it after what happened last week.
She threw her phone somewhere on the bed after seeing that there were no messages. She curled up against her body and buried her face in the pillow.
---
'Kang Seulgi is offline.'
Irene's shoulders slumped and her face sulked when she saw the same status as yesterday.
---
"I'll go ahead, Irene." Krystal leaned down to cheek kiss her friend who's still busy with work.
"Is Amber picking you up?" asked Irene.
"Yeah. How did you know?"
"You just look like you're going to a party each time she picks you up."
Krystal giggled. "I love seeing how her jaw drops every time she sees me."
"You silly."
"I should really go. Take care!"
"You too."
After two steps, Krystal stopped and turned to Irene. "Is Bogum picking you up?"
"Nope. He's on an out-of-town trip."
"Hmm. You're already sharing schedules, huh," teased Krystal. "In that case, would you like to come with us?"
"And be the third wheel? No thanks, Krystal." Irene waved a hand.
Krystal chuckled. "No. We're not going out for a date. We're surprise-visiting Seulgi."
The sound of that name had surely made Irene's heart skip a beat. She turned her swivel chair around to face Krystal.
"In her apartment?"
"No. in the hospital. Haven't you heard?"
"W-what happened?"
"Seulgi got injured during her tennis game last Sunday. We decided to visit today because AMber said Seulgi will get discharged tomorrow morning."
Irene nodded in response but her mind was off somewhere else. She didn't even know that the game was this Sunday.
Why didn't Seulgi tell her?
"So, are you coming or not?" asked Krystal.
Irene blinked. "Let me just shut down my computer."
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