Sehun

The sun shines brilliantly with a soft breeze sweeping through the trees above. The perfect kind of day, In Sehun's opinion, to be out enjoying the warmth. That's sort of what he’s doing while helping Taemin and Jonghyun move boxes from their vehicles. Jonghyun has a large black truck, while Taemin has a simple, silver convertible. He wonders where they get the money to afford two cars and an extremely nice apartment, but when he asks Kai the only answer he gets is "Some questions shouldn't be answered".

"Are you okay with that box, honey?" Taemin shouts from the living room. "It's kind of heavy!"

"It's fine," Jonghyun calls back.

"Not you! I’m talking to Sehuna!"

Sehun looks at Jonghyun, smiling when he laughs. "I'm okay, Taemin." Sehun honestly regrets ever letting Kai tell them about the incident back at school. Taemin just got pissed off and told Kai to go kill them. When he said no, the stylist announces he’s going to just do it himself. But Sehun says it’s fine and he asked them not to, but now they treat him like a delicate flower. It's strange to the say least and he isn’t exactly used to it. Even Kai has been surprisingly gentle with him. He'll try not to hit him when he laughs, a habit of his that Sehun thinks is absolutely adorable.

"Here, that's too heavy," Kai says, trying to grab the box currently in Sehun's arms. But he frowns and pulls away.

"It's not heavy.”

"Sure it is give it here." Kai tries again but Sehun dodges him. He quickly makes his way up the stairs before the punk can grab for it again and succeed. Sehun sets the relatively heavy box down in the bedroom, cringing. He groans and closes his eyes, holding his stomach as he tries to ignore the pain. He’s still in pain from the other day with those bullies and he feels bad about lying to everyone, but he really doesn’t want to worry anyone. He wants to help.

“Sehun,” Jonghyun says, eyeing Sehun as he comes in and sets several boxes down. He’s always so surprised how strong the man is, able to carry so many boxes at a time. Then again, Jonghyun regularly goes to the gym. “You alright?”

"Yep, just..." Sehun sighs and leans over, hiding his grimace. "C-catching my breath."

Jonghyun lets out a long sigh and glances out at Kai and Taemin. He slowly closes the door half way and walks to the boy. "If you're in pain, you need to tell someone."

Sehun shakes his head. "I...I’m not…”

"I already know you are."

Sehun rubs his face, glancing towards the door. "I really wanna help..."

"Then just get the light bags, so you won't have to bend down."

"B-but-”

"Sehun," Jonghyun sighs. "Taemin has the eyes of a hawk. Worst case scenario, he'll get you to sit down or something. We just worry, alright?"

Sehun rubs his arms and looks down at his feet, feeling shameful. He'd be more useful if he hadn't even got beat up in the first place. The first time he stands up for himself and this happens. "Okay," He says softly.

Jonghyun smiles and gives his arm a gentle but reassuring squeeze. "It's alright, kiddo," He reassures him before leaving. Sehun doesn't talk to Jonghyun much but he still likes him. He gives off a big brother sort of vibe.

Sehun makes his way to the living room, smiling when Kai looks over at him. It, however, falters when his expression looks grim, his phone in hand. "What's wrong?" Sehun asks, going up to him and putting a hand on the punk’s back.

"Our fathers spoke a few days ago," Kai responds and Sehun nods. "He went off on your mother and got all pissed. He got taken in by the cops for trying to attack her."

Sehun widens his eyes. "Oh my god!”

"He's in custody for a few nights unless someone bails him out."

"Jongin, do you want me to pay-"

"No, we're letting him stay for the night," Kai cuts him off. "He deserves it."

"I mean," Sehun sighs. "He did just find out his girlfriend of a few years has been lying to him…”

"I don't care," Kai says sternly. "He's staying there."

Sehun opens his mouth to argue but slowly closes it as he thinks about it a little more. He wonders how many times his father let his son sit in custody after getting picked up. Did he deserve it? Does his father deserve it now? Sehun lets out a shaky sigh. "If that's what you want."

"I don't care," He says again. "As long as this 's all dealt with, I don't give a ." Kai sighs and rubs his face. Sehun stares at him for a moment before walking up and wrapping his arms around the punk’s waist. He smiles weakly when Kai’s hug is much gentler than usual; probably due to Sehun’s soreness.

"This should be the last of the stuff," Taemin says, setting a few bags down. He grins at the two of them. "You two should go out or something."

"Like, the club?" Kai asks and his friend gives him a pointed look.

Taemin shakes his head. "Noo, like a restaurant!"

Sehun blushes and looks between the two. "L-like.. an um..."

"A date!"

"A date?"

"Yeah!" Taemin laughs happily. "When is the last time either of you has been on a date?"

"We...we haven't-”

“We’ve been to the movies,” Kai interrupts, followed by a shrug. He crosses his arms and glances over at Sehun. He purses his lips as if he were deep in thought and then just shrugs. "You know what? Sure, let's go," he says simply, grabbing his coat.

Sehun looks at him with wide eyes, a bit shocked. "H-huh?"

"This whole year has well...ing ," He explains.

Sehun blushes as he fiddles with his sleeve. He remembers back to whenever they danced or whenever Kai gives him small, tender kisses. Never in public, but in private. "Not all of it..."

Kai clears his throat but he can’t seem to hide his grin. Taemin looks between them, his eyes also wide now. "What happened?!"

"N-nothing," Sehun whispers.

"We just kissed- no big deal," Kai shrugs and Sehun frowns.

"It was...a big deal for me, Jongin..."

Kai looks at him and narrows his eyes. "Sehun, I didn't mean it like that.”

"Oh  my god!” Taemin practically shouts. “You two totally kissed! My babies are growing up!”

"We're not your babies."

"My babies are growing up! Aw!"

"We're not your..." Kai trails off and sighs in defeat.

"Face it," Jonghyun says as he enters the room. "Taemin adopted you two."

Kai groans loudly and heads towards the door. "Leaving, we're leaving now,” He announces, grabbing Sehun’s hand. He shyly smiles at the two, accepting when the punk opens the door for him.

“Well,” Sehun stops once outside, shrugging on his jacket. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then?”

"What're you talking about? We're going out to eat."

"Huh?" Sehun watches as Kai walks down the stairs, waiting at the bottom. Blushing, he quickly goes to him, following the punk as he leads them away. “Y-you were serious?”

"What should we eat?" Kai asks, completely ignoring his question. "Sushi sounds good."

"Jongin, are you even-"

"We'll just go to the one by your house- it's not as expensive, and we can just go back to your place afterward."

"Jongin-"

"Sehun, look," Kai says with a sigh. Stoping, he turns to face the boy. "We both had a ty year. So, we're going out and you can just deal with it."

Sehun has to admit he has a point. Things have been pretty ty lately, their only real escape from it all was when they’re together; which is a lot more than they both realize lately. "Okay, okay," Sehun finally agrees. "But I’m paying!”

Kai smirks. “Works for me, rich boy..”

"I've never been on a proper date before," Sehun admits as he takes a seat after letting Kai help him out of his jacket. He smiles up at the waiter when receiving his menu.

"Yeah?" Kai takes a seat opposite of Sehun.

Sehun nods enthusiastically. "I mean, I've had sort-of take at a convenience store parking lot in Tao's car."

Kai looks a bit confused at that. "Why there?"

"Tao..." Sehun blushes. "Wanted to try something new."

"What do you-" Kai clears his throat. "Oh, right."

"It was...interesting."

Kai coughs awkwardly. "In a good way? I mean uh..." He raises a brow. "Enough to try it again?"

Sehun quickly looks up at Kai, staring at him in surprise. He feels his face turn hot and his heart beat fast. With Tao, it was a new, awkward experience. Of course, after a moment of fumbling, the end result was definitely worth it. It makes him sick to think of Tao. But his stomach flutters when he imagines doing all those things with Kai. He gasps and puts his hand gently over his mouth, shyly looking away. “O-oh,” He bites his lower lip. “W-with...the right person, maybe…” Kai blushes as well but he remains silent as he looks down at his menu. Sehun stares at him for a moment before speaking up. “Have...have you ever…?”

"What?"

"I mean...have you ever...you know?"

"Had ?" Kai asks, raising a brow at him. "No," He admits and Sehun chokes on his drink.

"R-really?!" Sehun blushes and looks down, realizing his voice was a bit loud. Kai is the last person he'd expect to be a . He’s so confident about himself all the time and always seems to know what he was doing. He gives off a vibe of a player if he would be honest. Not anymore but when they first met; Sehun had thought he was just another heartbreaker. When thoughts of potentially teaching Kai new things cross his mind, he tries to not think too much about it.

"What's the price limit?" Kai asks.

Sehun looks up. "Huh?"

"Price limit for ordering?”

Sehun shakes his head and smiles. "O-oh. No, don't worry about that."

Kai laughs. "Are you sure?"

"Nothing here is over twenty dollars, so I'm not worried."

"That must be...cool," Kai mumbles.

"What?"

"Being able to not look at the prices on a menu." Sehun frowns but Kai shakes his head. "I don’t mean it like that."

"You mean...you're not being mocking or sarcastic?"

Kai smiles. "Nope."

"I'm shocked," Sehun jokes. He looks back down at the menu, trying to ignore Kai as he continues to stare at him. He wonders if this is really a date or not; or if he’s just using him for the free food. Why do am I doubting everything? Sehun begins to wonder if Kai's feelings are sincere or if this was all just some cruel hoax. But what could Kai possibly want? Taemin could give him money and he could probably have any girl he wants. Has he really changed or is this all so he didn't go to jail?

Taking a deep breath, Sehun frowns and sets his menu down. He watches as the punk across him reads. He’s nervous but he needs to know. Kai said they would talk about it that one night but they never did. He kisses him when they dance, during study, and when Sehun sometimes asks him to spend the night. He wants to know what this guy is after. "Jongin, we..." He begins. "We should talk."

"About what?" Kai asks, seeming distracted.

Sehun shallows hard and sets his hands on his lap. He clasps his hands together, fiddling his thumbs nervously. When glancing around, he becomes aware of all the people nearby. He starts to think that maybe it’d be best to speak in private. But any time he musters the courage to try and ask, Kai shuts him up with these distracting kisses. “Us,” He finally says. "We need to talk about us."

"We'll talk about it lat-"

"No, we won't talk about it later," Sehun cuts him off, causing Kai to look up. “We always say we will but we never do. I try to talk about it but you..." Sehun groans softly, "You kiss me and I forgot about everything- everyone. I just...I just to know what this is. Are we only distracting each other from our mutual loneliness or...or is there something there? Jongin?" Kai stares at him silently, his expression unreadable. Sehun shallows hard again, his stomach feels heavy. "I don't...want another Tao- I want to be happy..." The punk sets his menu down and it makes him nervous.

"Sehun..."

Sehun sniffs and wipes his eye. “I don’t wanna be some fling for you a-and I’m not just going t sit here and let you use me as your get-out-of-jail card! You started this when you kissed me that day. S-so, tell me what this is and if I should even bother!” He pants a bit, his chest heaving up and down.

"Sehun," Kai says quietly. "What do you want to be? To me?”

"I want..." Sehun stares at him, not breaking eye contact. He exhales deeply and shakes his head. He looks away and down at his hands. "I don't know."

"Yeah, you do," Kai argues. "You know what you want, don't you?"

"Do you?"

"What?"

Sehun looks up at him again. "Do you know what you want? Why must I be the one to talk about this? Why can't you? What am I to you, Jongin?” He pauses. “Am I just an easy way out?!”

"No!" Kai shouts, slamming his hand down. "Stop saying that!"

"Then what am I?!" Sehun would have jumped at such a sudden act before but he knows the punk would never hurt him.

Kai sighs in frustration. He glances around before standing up. "Let's walk."

Sehun narrows his eyes. "What?"

"We're walking, we'll talk then."

Sehun slowly stands up as well, grabbing his jacket as well. Trying to avoid the stares of nearby people, he keeps his head down as anxiety fills him up. He isn’t sure if he pissed Kai off or not, but all he knows is this the opposite of what he wanted to happen.

The walk is a bit long with an uncomfortable silence that envelops them. Sehun lags behind his irritated partner, noticing whenever Kai glances back to check on him. He thinks back to when this punk took down his three bullies and it makes him shiver. Kai has a scary strength when he’s angry; one that would have made Sehun nervous earlier in their relationship. But now he knows Kai would never hurt him. That thought makes him think back to what Krystal had said; about how Sehun is good on all of the punk’s sides. Even his angry ones.

The walk was long, an uncomfortable silence enveloped them. Sehun lagged behind him, noticing when Kai glances back to check on him. Sehun remembers back to when Kai had beaten up those bullies and he shivers. Kai had a scary strength when he was angry, one that made even Sehun nervous. Of course, he knew Kai would never harm him like that but he couldn't be for sure. They stop at a boardwalk, the sky is now painted hues of pinks and oranges as the sun slowly sets. Kai finally stops and faces Sehun. He sighs and puts his hand on his hip. “Look, you’re right.”

Sehun quickly looks up at him, surprised by Kai's sudden agreement. "I am?"

Kai slowly crosses his arms as he leans against the boardwalk fence. “I uh…” He sighs. “God, you of all people know I don’t talk about my feelings; not if I can help it,” He explains. He watches as Sehun sits on a nearby bench, crossing his hands on his lap. Kai stares at him for a moment in silence. “I figured…” He stops and looks off to the side, at the ocean. He goes quiet, seeming to think hard about something; he rubs his face and looks frustrated again.  “I can’t, I just can’t. I can’t just TALK about my feelings like that. Not...easily, like you.”

Sehun glares up at him. ”Easily?” He asks, his voice low as he slowly stands. “You think I have an easy time?”

"Yeah," Kai shrugs. "You seem to have an easy time with a lot of things."

“I don’t have an easy time expressing myself, Jongin!” He snaps. “I don’t just open my ing mouth and my thoughts come out!” Kai furrows his brows as he listens. “I had to muster up the courage to even ask you about this!”

“Sehun…”

“I-I’m not a brave person, Jongin,” Sehun begins t shake. “B-but I can’t... I can’t just sit here and say nothing. Because every time we sleep in a bed together, sometimes I find myself lying awake and wondering if you feel w-what I feel.”

Kai takes a deep breath before he steps close to Sehun. “Tell me then. Tell me how you feel.”

Sehun sniffs and rubs his eyes, looking down at his feet. He crosses his arms tightly. He felt this way before once when Tao decided to leave him for China. How Sehun remembers standing in that airport, sobbing for him to love him; desperately wanting everything to change. But it didn’t mean a damn thing. Tao still left and Sehun felt more alone than ever. Now he wonders if telling Kai is going to be his second mistake. What will he do if he claims his loves and Kai goes back to hating him. Sehun, once again, will be left alone. He doesn’t want to be alone, not after everything. “I...I…” He shakes his head and covers his face.

“What?”

“N-nothing,” Sehun tries to not cry, his throat tightening. He shakes his head, looking back at Kai. “I don’t...I don’t want to talk anymore,” Sehun whispers, turning away and starting to walk away. He doesn’t want anything to change; Not with Taemin, Jonghyun. And especially not with Kai.

“Like hell you don’t!” Kai snaps as he grabs Sehun’s hand and pulls him back. “You wanted to talk, so talk!”

Sehun tries not to tremble but his body can’t seem to stop shaking. “I don’t have anything to say…”

Kai yanks Sehun close and lets go of his hand. The punk forces him to sit down, causing Sehun to jump a bit as his sudden temper. “Then shut up and listen!” Sehun watches as Kai paces around, his fist clenched tightly by his side. He glances at the boy a few times as if he’s figuring out what to say or how to say something. After a few minutes of mumbling to himself, he finally stops. “I...alright,” He groans. “I try to show- , I already TRIED showing you how I felt.”

“W-what-”

“Shut up,” Kai interrupts. “I already tried showing you how I felt, I still am,” He motions towards Sehun. “With those stupid little texts and...kissing you."

"By...kissing me," Sehun repeats.

"I don't ing talk about my god damn feelings, alright? The last time I tried talking about my feelings, Krystal…” Kai slowly sits beside Sehun and stares straight ahead. “She left me.”

“Jongin…”

“I just figured...if I showed you enough, without talking about it, you’d get it- that I wouldn’t have to...talk. It’s ing stupid as well b-but I’m scared less that if I tell you how I feel you’ll…”

“Go back to hating you,” Sehun finishes, smiling when the punk looks at him.

“Yeah. With those...kisses. Those stupid little kisses or holding your hand…”

Sehun wipes his eyes. “I really like all those things,” He admits. “But, , Jongin. A-after Tao, I couldn’t assume it meant anything. He did all those things and he still...left me.”

“Tao,” Kai practically growls. “God, I ing hate him...I really, really hate him,” He mumbles, causing Sehun to smile again. “, I hated you too at first. This nerdy little head being the only thing standing between me and juvie. So damn smart and you weren’t even scared of me. To be honest, I wasn’t used to that,” He admits. “I just wanted you t off and not care,” That makes Sehun laugh a bit. “But then I got stupidly protective of your dumb . I want to protect you, from everything; Tao, your mother, those ing bastards…”

“Jongin, I…”

“Don’t…” Kai whispers and that’s when Sehun notices him struggle. “Please, Sehun, don’t...leave, alright? Don’t ing leave me.”

Sehun stares at Kai has his face warps with what seems like anguish. He sniffs a bit and scoots closer. He looks his arm with the punk’s and leans his head on his shoulder. “I...I don’t want to go anywhere,” He whispers as well. “And I don’t...want you to go anywhere either.”

Kai hesitates as he slowly moves his hand, seeming shy as he laces their fingers together.  “Was it easier when we hated each other?

“Yeah,” Sehun admits. “But...it was lonely.”

“Yeah, it was.”

They both sit there together in silence for a moment. Sehun thinks carefully about what Kai had said. It makes him realized that the way he felt with Tao, how the only love in his life left him for nothing, Kai felt the exact same thing with Krystal. How Sehun’s love left during the time he needed him most, the same thing happened to Kai. “Jongin?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you remember the day I stood up for you?”

“You mean when you beat that douche with your bat?” Kai chuckles. “How could I forget?”

Sehun shifts around uncomfortably. “At...the store, Krystal approached me.” Kai goes quiet after that. “Can you believe she asked me for a favor?”

“What’d she want?” Kai’s voice is quiet and almost hurt.

“She wanted me to convince you to talk to her,” Sehun says. “That was the second time I wanted to hit a woman?”

That makes Kai chuckle a bit. “The first was your mother, right?” He asks and sighs. “I don’t care about Krystal anymore, Sehun. I did for a bit but,” He struggles and Sehun smiles.

“I know,” He says. “You don’t have to say it, Jongin.” Kai lets out a relieved sigh and he seems to go back to just thinking. They lean back together as the punk let’s go of Sehun’s hand to wrap an arm around him. Sehun bites his lip and looks up at him. “U-um...Jongin?” He clears his throat. “C-can...we um…”

Kai blushes at him before focusing his sights back to the ocean. “W-whatever.” He looks embarrassed and Sehun honestly thinks it’s the cutest thing ever. “Just don’t go bragging it to any loser that’ll listen.”

Sehun grins. “So...I can totally call you my...boyfriend?”

“I…” Kai furrows his brows but his expression seems to soften at the sight of Sehun’s excited smile. He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, sure- whatever.”

“Jongin, If you don’t want to-”

“I didn't say that!” Kai quickly interrupts “I just…” His face turns red and he lowers his gaze. “I haven't...been called that in a while.”

“Yeah well,” Sehun hums. “I’ve never been one or even had one.”

“So you’re a ,” Kai snickers.

“Says that actual ,” Sehun shoots back, causing the punk’s smile to falter. She laughs at him and stares up at the sky. “First time for everything, Jongin.”

“I’ll be keeping your word on that.”

Sehun gasps and watches as his new boyfriend stands. “W-what?!” Kai just keeps laughing as he starts to walk away. “W-what did you mean by that?!” He shouts as he stands and runs to catch up. ”Jongin!”