Kai

Kai snatches the camera from Sehun and laughs as he spins around. He holds it up and smirks at the boy. "My turn, nosebleed."

"Hey, give that back!" Sehun grabs Kai's shirt and tries to yank him around.

Kai shrugs his hands off and backs up. He points the camera lens at Sehun. "Alright, nosebleed- you've had this thing pinned on me for the last couple of days."

Sehun crosses his arms and frowns. "You told me I could!"

"Yeah? Well, now it's my turn." Kai points the camera at him. "Say 'go yourself'!"

"Go yourself," Sehun mutters, blushing as he covers his face shyly.

Kai laughs. "Perfect!" He lowers it and sighs. "Hey, come on- you do this all the time."

"I’m always on the other side…”

"Hey, take off your jacket," Kai says and Sehun looks suddenly nervous. He holds his jacket closed.  

“N-no…”

Thinking he’s just being shy, Kai rolls his eyes. "Come on, take it off!"

"Why?"

"You’ll look better."

"No, it's cold!"

"No, it’s not," Kai scoffs as he goes over and pushes on Sehun's coat. Sehun slaps his hand and Kai quickly retracts. “Hey, ow! , You got a hard slap!”

"Okay, okay! Fine,” He mutters.

Kai backs up and waits, watching Sehun slip off his coat and slowly sets it to the side. Kai's stomach clenches when he sees fresh cuts along Sehun's arms. He slowly lowers the camera again and stares at him. He swallows hard and takes a step closer. "Sehun."

Sehun shakes his head. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Was it because of Tao?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Sehun repeats. He goes to put his jacket back on but Kai yanks it from him. He sets it down, making sure to set the camera down on it instead of the stand.

"Sehun."

"Jongin, please-"

"Was it because of Tao?" Kai asks again. He grabs Sehun’s face, trying to not get mad. "Tell me."

Sehun tries to look down but Kai keeps him in place. "I-"

"I swear if he ing said something to you..." Kai threatens.

"What? You'll...you'll beat his face in?" Sehun glares at him. "Huh?"

"Yeah!" Kai shouts. "I mean..." He raises his brows. “Do you want me to?”

"Yes!"

Kai narrows his eyes. "Really?"

He lets go and watches as Sehun sits in the cold sand. "Maybe," He says. "But it'd make me feel bad. He didn't do anything wrong."

Kai frowns and joins him. "He almost made you kill yourself! Shouldn’t he be in like, jail or somethin?"

"No, he didn't," Sehun shakes his head. "He...just can't couldn't love me, Jongin. That's not a crime."

Kai scoffs. He disagrees. If the idiot would have just taken Sehun with him, the boy wouldn’t be depressed. But, then again, he doesn’t know much about depression. "What'd he tell you the other night? He whispered something to you."

Sehun scoots closer to Kai, close enough for their hands to almost touch. "To not hang out with you anymore."

Kai looks at their hand and then back up at Sehun. "What?"

"He told me you were bad news- that you're no good for me."

Kai huffs. He looks at the sky, the setting sun staining everything in an orange and yellow hue. He doesn’t move when he feels their fingers touch. "So why you here then? You don't trust Tao?"

"I always imagined...what it'd be like if Tao ever came back," Sehun said. "I'd run into his arms and we'd...we'd kiss and he'd take me away." Not seeming to care if his Camera gets dirty, Sehun pulls his jacket from under it and lays it over his legs. He digs his toes in the sand and sighs.

"When we first saw Kris, I felt like everything, all of my expectations, just...just crumbled."

"Sounds like a fairytale," Kai mumbles. He stretches out his legs, burying his feet in the sand as well. "Whatever, Tao doesn't deserve you anyway.”

"What makes you say that?"

Kai shrugs. "He's obviously an if he moved on so quickly." Kai thought about Krystal, how he had expectations of one day running away with her; maybe he would have married her. But at Namsan tower, his own world had crumbled and she had left him in ruins. "I never told you about my mom."

Sehun keeps his eyes set on the setting sun. "No, you haven't," He whispers. "What happened?"

"She uh..." Kai lets out a shaky sigh. He clears his throat. "She was diagnosed with cancer when I was in middle school. That's when my dad divorced her."

"He divorced a cancer-patient?!" Sehun gasps.

"I was so pissed off," Kai admits. "I thought about hurting him...a lot. Especially when she died during my freshman year of high school."

"And you never went back?"

Kai shakes his head. He draws random shapes in the sand, watching little bugs scatter as he does so. He tries to ignore the tightening in his chest and the upcoming pain buried inside. "It...was a month later that my girlfriend at the time broke up with me, and uh..." He sighs. "I...didn’t deal with it well." He falls back on his back and stares up at the sky. “I started doing all sorts of dumb ,” He admits. “I set cars on fire, started fights, got put into jail once or twice- nothing on my record, thanks to Jonghyun’s patient as dad.” He tries to even out his breathing, not wanting to do anything embarrassing in front of Sehun

Sehun lays beside Kai and slowly holds his hand. Kai closes his eyes and lets out a sigh. He'd admit the warmth felt nice and it relaxed him a bit. But he still couldn't stop the tears when they did fall. They weren't loud or dramatic- just silent, as they always were.

Kai hated how much Sehun reminded him of Taemin; in all the good and bad ways. He looked at Taemin as if he were a brother but with Sehun...no, it wasn't like that. For the first time in a while, he was actually confused and torn.

Of course, he's used to dating girls and never even thought about dating guys. There hasn't ever been a man to make him think about it. So with all these things he feels- the same things he felt before he began to date Krystal. Kai looks to his side, watching as Sehun stares up at the sky. How his eyes look sad and empathetic. When no one watches him, Sehun always has that look in his eye; like it just overtook and became his eye color. A cold, deep shade of sorrow. Kai scoffs at that. He's never one for poetic .

Sehun looks over as well and smiles, squeezing Kai's hand reassuringly. Kai feels his heart beats fast, watching Sehun's hair flows gently in the wind. The pink, golden rays of the sunset making Sehun's skin practically glow.

Why did he care so much about this kid anyway? He's a stupid, shy, awkward goody-two-shoes who is smart, can dance. He’s not even scared of Kai, even with all of the rumors going around. Sure, girls desire after him but they'd never approach him. Even if he tries to talk to them, they'd just scatter away. Sehun has never done that, not even once. Even when they first met, he still stood his ground and talked back. He might even understand Kai; they’re so different and yet they have so much in common.

“Jongin?”

“Hmm?”

Sehun looks back up at the sky and stares at it, that sad look back in his eyes. “Do...do you believe in soulmates?”

Kai watches him before looking up as well. “I don’t know, I never thought about it.”

“W-what if...there’s only one person for everyone and we already met ours,” Sehun says. “What if Tao was mine but I ed it up?” Kai lays there as he thinks about that. Only one person for someone. Soulmates. He’s never thought about these things before. He sighs and sits up.

“No way,” He scoffs. “I don’t think Tao was yours.”

Sehun wipes a tear from his eyes and sits up as well, frowning at him. “How do you know?”

“Well, If I did believe in that bull, I think soulmates would be our equals,” He says. He pauses and feels stupid but he goes on. “Tao’s not your equal.”

“He’s...not?”

“No,” Kai replies as he stands, brushing the sand from his pants. He extends his hand and helps Sehun up. “You’re better than that ing idiot.” He pulls out a cigarette and lights it as he begins to walk away. Sehun quickly catches up to him, clutching his camera and coat.

“You really think so?” Sehun asks and Kai just grunts in responses. “Thanks, Jongin…”

Kai sighs as they make their way from the beach, towards the cabin. “Whatever.”

Kai isn’t sure how long he’s been staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep. He can hear Jonghyun and Taemin watching a movie. But by the sounds of their kissing, he figures they’re not really pay attention. The children go to bed and the adults have some fun.

"Jongin?" Sehun calls out in a whisper.

Kai remains silent for a moment. He feels Sehun turns over to face him. "What?”

"I'm sorry," He whispers. "When...I lied about Tao; I...I just really wanted to come here."

Kai turns over to his side as well, looking at Sehun. "Why?"

Sehun smiles and shrugs tiredly. "I..." He sighs. "I really wanted to hang out with you. Outside of all the bull."

"I'm really sick of studying," Kai admits softly, talking in a low voice.

Sehun pauses for a minute. "Me too."

Kai laughs, surprised that he actually admits it as well. "You? Sick of studying? I thought you liked it?”

"I used to," Sehun says. "But then I met you."

"Oh, thanks," Kai thanks him sarcastically.

"It's not like that. I just...I didn't want to study, I wanted to just get to know you."

"I find that hard to believe."

“Well, me too,” Sehun replies. "I hated you for a while but...you stood up for me, to my mom. I didn’t realize it at the time b-but it really meant a lot to me."

Kai sits up a bit, propping his head up by his hand. "I'm kind of a badass."

Sehun smiles. "I think I stopped hating you then."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Sehun admits, both of them keeping their voices down. "I realized...we, well, have a lot more in common than I thought and that maybe you weren't so bad"

"Well," Kai sighs. "You're not so bad either, I guess."

"Oh, thanks." Kai and Sehun go quiet for a few minutes, both thinking hard about everything. Kai thinks about everything that has been happening; Krystal, Taemin, Sehun, Sehun's mother, Kai's father. "Krystal messaged me."

Sehun’s expression is unreadable. "Really?"

Kai slowly nods. "She...wants to get back together." He watches Sehun carefully, as his poker face almost falters. His eyes fill up with something Kai can’t quite put his finger on. But there’s a hint of jealousy."I didn't respond."

Sehun smiles again. "Maybe you should try to work it out."

"You at lying."

"What?" Sehun looks at him. "Why wouldn't I want that?"

Kai stares at him intently. He scoots closer, which causes Sehun to look nervous. "What's with you holding my hand?"

Sehun shallows hard. "W-what?"

"At the park, With Tao, At the beach...why?"

Sehun keeps eye contact. "I thought you needed to be comforted."

"Is that really why?" Kai asks, his stomach and heart fluttering. He keeps catching Sehun staring at him through the mirror every time they dance- or suddenly growing flustered anytime they get too close. He takes a deep breath and looks down at Sehun's arms. He hesitantly puts his hand on Sehun's bicep. He slowly caresses down his arm, gently running his fingertips over the straight cuts running down Sehun's arm. He keeps his fingers on Sehun's arm as he looks back into his eyes. If Kai had never met Sehun, he wouldn't have even started to question everything in his life. He's forced to spend almost every day with him, and then gives up his only days of freedom just to make sure he’s fine. On Saturdays, he's supposed to be at the club with Taemin. Instead, he's out teaching Sehun how to tag a building or different ways to start fires; they used a water bottle, Sehun's glasses, hell, even urine. It’s Wednesdays he enjoys the most, actually. He's always loves dancing, and to be with someone who never judges him make everything better.

"Jongin..." Sehun whispers, smiling softly.

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad I came."

Sehun takes a deep breath and lowers his knees, scooting closer to Kai. He wraps his arm around Kai's sides and sets his head against Kai’s chest. Kai suddenly feels a familiar stirring in him; a feeling he hasn't felt for a very, very long time. Both of their shield and armor coming undone, their masks melts. He can feel himself become raw, . It scares him. He finally wraps an arm around Sehun and swallows hard.

"Yeah," Kai whispers. "Me too."