What is this?

Why does it hurt so much?

Just as I thought, Jin sunbae stopped contacting me.

I didn’t initiate contact either.

But even if I contact him, he probably doesn’t want to see my face.

I’m just scared to fully face the fact that he might hate me now.

Taehyung’s classmates’ stares at him confused.

“Are you okay?” Hayeon asked him.

“Have you seen yourself in the mirror?” Hoseok added.

“Ohmy…” Lana moves closer to inspect the very obvious dark circles under Taehyung’s eyes. “What did you do during the past nights?”

They didn’t see how evident it was during their classes this morning because Taehyung opted to sit behind them in the last row. Now that they sit face to face on the lunch table, they can see it clearly.

With Lana’s question, Taehyung recalled his roommate’s actions the day before. How Jin didn’t even wanna look at his face. How the senior immediately pulled his hand away when he held it. And how he just walked away. It stings.

Hoseok sensed that this time seems to be more serious than the last time.

Taehyung sighs for the nth time, burying his face in his hands. “I was hoping you guys wouldn’t notice.”

“Oh honey.” Lana starts. “You need a concealer for us to even consider not noticing it.”

Taehyung barely touched his bowl. He didn’t have an appetite. He just ate a little then moved the bowl aside. He put his bag on the table and hunched over it, laying his head on his arms. “Wake me up when it’s time to go to the next class.”

“Is he really okay?” Hayeon asked again.

“Yeah, he probably just didn’t have enough sleep.” Hoseok answered, trying to assure the youngest to not worry. “Let him take a nap. Hopefully he’ll feel better when he wakes up.”

When Taehyung woke up, it was half past one in the afternoon. He was relieved as their next class was not until two.

“So, do you wanna talk about it?” Hoseok asked, opposite him.

Taehyung noticed it was only the two of them left. Lana and Hayeon aren’t at the table with them anymore, and there’s not much students eating as it’s already past lunch hours.

“Can I guess?” Hoseok made sure his voice is enough for only the two of them to hear. “Did it not go well with that person?”

Taehyung sighed again. Guess he was quite easy to read. “That person apologized and left.”

“Did you confess properly?”

“I think...? I mean, that person asked so I answered. Though I’m not sure if it was a proper confession.”

“So you think you were turned down? Rejected? Because that person apologized and left?”

Taehyung nods.

“Don’t assume things.” Hoseok said. “Let’s say someone confessed to you, but you don’t like them that way. Will you tell that someone honestly?”

Taehyung thinks for a while before answering. “Yes. I think. Because leading them on would mean prolonging the pain than a rejection.”

“But what if it’s someone you can’t decline?” Hoseok asked him. “What will you do?”

“I would…” Taehyung paused. “…stay away.”

“That’s what some people do when they don’t want what they currently have to change.” Hoseok said. “Or they don’t want to lose that someone.”

Taehyung stayed silent. He tries to recall if Jin said anything else other than the apology and being uncomfortable. The senior didn’t say he didn’t like him or hate him. At least he hopes not.

“I’m not exactly sure what the situation is, maybe that person is just as confused as you are. But the fact that he is confused means that there’s a possibility that he wants to accept those feelings. I mean, if a person that was confessed to by someone he didn’t like, wouldn’t he just turn it down on the spot?”

Taehyung looked down, deep in thought.

“Before you overthin