Coda Two
Confronting the Faceless 💀 CompleteMay, 1998
"Only with acceptance can there be recovery"
Odette doesn't know how long it's been since she's eaten anything that wasn't berries.
After the first trap all those month ago in the snow, she's set a few more during desperate times, but shortly after the snow melted people stopped showing up.
The Snatchers as a whole seem to have stopped showing up, and Odette thinks she really might be the last person alive out here. Everyone else must be dead or caught - why else would the search parties have stopped their searching?
So she eats berries and no longer jumps at every movement because even if it's an enemy at least it would be someone and she's lonely. So, so lonely. At this point she's almost hoping she's caught because then she'll have someone to talk to, be it guards or Deatheaters or prisoners, at least they'll be human and they can talk back.
She used to talk to herself, or to the animals she came across, but she just felt crazy and stopped rather quickly. She's thinking of trying again though - don't they say to try things a few times to make sure your results are sound? That sound right. She can't really remember.
She hasn't moved her campsite in a few days - weeks? Time blurs together out here, she doesn't know really - and she's sitting against a tree munching on a handful of berries and poking at her own ribs when she hears a crack somewhere off to her right.
She doesn't flinch, barely even glances up from her meal. A deer probably stepped on a branch - it's always a deer, it's never a person.
There's rustling now, but that's normal too. The squirrels are getting quite active and they're always rushing around, knocking things out of trees and making the new leafs on the branches dance. Odette is becoming very familiar with the noises of the newly waking forest as it shakes off winter and embraces the new life of spring. Odette just wishes she felt as rejuvinated as the forest seems to.
"Odette Grimmond?"
It takes a long moment to realize that that isn't a standard forest noise, and an even longer one to actually look up to asses the new presence in her camp.
There's a man standing nearby, looking at her with clear concern. He looks a bit familiar, in the distant way that tells her she spent a decent amount of time around him at some point, but wasn't particularly close to him. A coworker maybe?
"I usually only hallucinate when I haven't eaten enough." She offers after a moment. Maybe hallucinations are okay to talk to? She giggles at the thought - she's pretty sure talking to her own imagination projected into the world by... well, she isn't sure what it is this time but she does know that it definitely makes her crazy.
The hallucination looks pained. "You... you aren't hallucinating Odette, I promise. I'm Oliver Wood, we were in the same year at Hogwarts, remember? Percy Weasley was my best friend? You two were prefects together."
Oliver Wood, that's right. She remembers now. She blinks a few times, slowly, then shrugs.
"Okay. Are you arresting me?" She asks. She's just... she's too tired to fight. She's been fighting for so long just to survive and really, she isn't sure that's worth fighting for anymore. She's shattered her own principles time and time again and for what? To keep living on the run, uncertain what the future holds? Uncertain she'll ever get to go home and see her friends?
Oliver walks over, slowly, and kneels next to her. "No." He promises, soft, way softer than she ever remembers him being in school, he was always loud and brash and uncontrolled. "I'm taking you home. The war is over. We won. You're safe now."
Odette just stares at him uncomprehendingly, but doesn't resist when he gently pulls her to her feet.
"You know Lucas too, right? You'll get to see him in a bit, he's on call at Mungo's right now, even though we all told him to go home and sleep for a few years." Oliver continues talking, though Odette isn't really processing what he's saying. She lets herself be manouveured so one arm is draped around Oliver's shoulders and he's taking a majority of her weight.
If she's touching the hallucination, there's a better chance of it being real, right? Is there such thing as tactile hallucinations? She should ask Lucas, he'd know. He's a Healer after all, and Oliver said she'd see him soon.
"Sorry about this, this is probably going to be even less pleasant than it normally would be." Oliver is saying, but Odette doesn't really hear it and is thus badly startled when the world suddenly spins on itself and her stomach decides that the top half of her body looks like more fun than where it is right now and pitches itself around inside of her.
When the room stop spinning she doesn't - she stumbles away from Oliver who yelps and quickly tightens his grip on her.
"We need a bed here! And probably a bin as well." He calls, his hand steady around her waist as she teeters.
It's then that her stomach rudely drops back into place, and everything in it leaps up and out of . She thinks for a moment she ought to be embarrassed, but she blacks out too quickly to really feel much of anything else.
When she wakes up, it's in a soft bed and feeling cleaner and more clear-headed than she has in... well, she doesn't know how long.
She drifts for a moment before her mind fully settles back down, and she remembers all at once throwing up all over Oliver Wood and passing out.
"Oh good lord I threw up on a pro Quidditch player." She groans, moving to throw an arm over her eyes only to realize that her right wrist is strapped to the bed she's on and there's an odd device attatched to the inside of her elbow. She stares at it and is suddenly struck with the fear that maybe Oliver lied - maybe she's a prisoner now and they didn't win and oh Merlin I don't actually want to go to Azkaban-
"Calm down, the strap is only there to stop you from accidentally pulling out the IV." A voice scolds, and it's so familiar that the shock of it actually calms Odette down.
"...Audrey?" She asks, staring at the former Head Girl in confusion, voice rasping against the wals of uncomfortably. "...Did we gather our old class together and I missed the memo?"
Audrey Caldwell smirks slightly just as Lucas Elstewart ducks around her holding a few potions, and Odette giggles (and she might still be a little loopy, but really who can blame her?).
"Good to see you're up! You've been unconcious for almost three days and I'd really like if you could drink these now please." Lucas says all in one breath, and Odette obediently accepts the offered potions and tosses them back, grimacing slightly at the taste of the last one.
"You look like death. I agree with Oliver about you getting sleep." She observes as she hands the empty bottles back. "Also what's an IV?" She realizes distantly that her thought process is pretty thouroughly scattered and her brain to mouth filter doesn't seem to exist right at this moment, but her shame sensors are offline as well so she doesn't care just yet. That can be an issue for future Odette.
"Aren't you Muggleborn?" Audrey asks with amusement. "IV like Intravenous, like what they use in Muggle hospitals. We're giving you saline solution plus all the vitamins that you weren't getting the past few months. Also, Lucas? You're on break now. If the patients can tell you look a mess then I don't want them seeing you. Go home and take care of yourself."
"Odette doesn't count, she's included in the Prefect squad." Lucas fires back, but despite the light teasing in his tone (and when the heck did Lucas get close enough to Audrey for that to be a thing? He was vaguely terrified of her in school) Lucas still looks about ready to drop dead and it's obvious from everyone else's comments and reactions that it's not a new situation.
Still, she's too tired to really be able to latch onto any one emotion long enough to weaponize it against anyone, so she stows the lecture she's definitely giving Lucas later away for now in favor of poking at the IV with her free hand.
"Please don't do that, I'm the only one who knows how those work and I'm getting off shift soon." Audrey says immediately.
Odette glances at her as Lucas fusses around the room doing... probably something Healer related.
"I can do it as well, you explained it clearly." Lucas says distractedly, and Audrey rolls her eyes at Odette before turning to the other Healer (and okay, when did Odette get close enough to Audrey for that to be a thing?).
"Yeah, no, your shift ends at the same time as mine and I will recruit your mother to drag you home if I have to."
"I regret you two ever meeting." Lucas grumbles, but doesn't offer any more resistance as he finishes messing with Odette's IV drip and steps back. "If you need anything, Leila is the on-call nurse. I need to check on a few other patients before I go home." He rolls his eyes, but Odette is pretty firmly on Audrey's side and feels no sympathy for her friend's plight.
Audrey lingers in the room, and Odette eyes her uncertainly. Obviously a lot has happened while Odette has been... away, what with Audrey and Lucas being apparently friends now and Audrey in general seeming way more relaxed than she ever was in school, and Odette isn't really sure what the former Head Girl wants.
It takes a moment before Audrey speaks. "I'm glad you're alright. And..." She hesitates. "Well, this is probably a jerk move considering how unhealthy you are right now, but could you keep on Lucas about getting more rest and food? He might listen to you, you guys were the best same-House pair in our year."
Odette blinks. "I can... try, yeah. He looked worn down."
"Kind of my fault." Audrey admits lowly, and Odette isn't sure if she was supposed to have heard the comment as there's no follow up explanation, and frankly Odette is too tired to push for one.
"I will, don't worry. Goodnight." She repeats instead.
She thinks she sees Audrey smile faintly, but Odette is sinking back into unconcious too quickly to really determine if she's seeing things again or not.
When she wakes up again she finally thinks to ask for the date. The woman carefully working her IV bag gives her a quick, strained smile.
"May Ninth, around seven in the morning. You woke up yesterday as well, though it was near midnight then." She replies, in the forced chipper tone people get when they know they're delivering bad news and want to soften the blow but have no idea how.
Odette just breaths out slowly. May ninth. She went on the run in September. Which would mean...
"Nearly nine months." She says lowly, her voice still hoarse from disuse. She hadn't noticed how much talking actually hurts right now the last time she'd woken up, but she's also pretty sure one of the potions Lucas had shoved at her was a pain potion so it isn't too surprising. Combine that with the still present shock that she's actually safe and can go home now, and really it's amazing she can feel anything at all.
"So," She says a bit louder when she sees how uncomfortable the woman (this must be Leila, she realizes belatedly) is getting. "You guys use Muggle stuff now?"
Good job Odette, very eloquent.
Leila gives a small smile again, this one a bit less tense. "Oh, yes. There were people pushing to implement this before..." She hesitates. "Well, before everything. Healer Caldwell was part of the team apparently, since as soon as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was taken down she immediately relaunched it. And since so much of the Hospital Board were, er, relieved of their positions in the past few months the proposal went through quite easily."
Odette hums, pretending not to notice the obvious references to everything that was happening while she was out camping in the woods. "Wow, that's pretty exciting, right? So does that mean there are some things Muggles can do that magic can't?"
Leila shrugs. "I mean, it does make sense, but I think you would know better than me. I grew up in the wizarding world."
Talking to Leila is rather calming despite Odette's throat protesting the continued use after about ten minutes. The older woman has excellent bedside manner and despite her obvious uncertainty about it she willingly and honestly answers Odette's questions about the war.
"We've got this entire floor dedicated to helping Muggleborns recuperate." Leila tells her. "You're the only one who was still out on the run - you were really good at giving Snatchers the slip I bet."
Odette hums, though the sentiment isn't particularly comforting. She really was the only person out in the woods.
That thought is probably going to haunt her for a while.
Another day passes and Odette sleeps through most of it, which is frustrating despite Leila and Lucas both assuring her it's not only normal but expected considering her ordeal (and she rather hates hearing it phrased like that - "ordeal" just sounds so dramatic, almost romantic, and nothing about any of this should be called anything but sad and maybe disgusting).
"I know you're not Muggleborn, technically, but shouldn't you have been running too?" She asks Lucas one day when she's awake and he's in her room casting spells that don't seem to do anything and looking like he's about to crumble to dust at any moment. She's counted five days from waking up, but it's entirely possible she slept through another day and nobody has told her. "I've been in and out but it sounds like you kept working? Which you shouldn't be by the way, I'm pretty sure a half-dead pixie could push you over right now."
Lucas hummed. "Some friends helped my family's files get lost in the system, so the Commission never even looked at me or my mom. And, well, Healers were needed during the war so." He shrugs. "I stayed. And I'm staying now because Healers are still needed to take care of everyone. Honestly you're better off than some of the Azkaban prisoners, and I'm not talking about the dead ones."
Odette presses her lips together, shifts slightly in her bed to see if she has enough energy to lecture him, and quickly determines that she definitely does not. That movement alone has pretty much wiped her out physically.
She really hates this.
She sees Lucas and Leila on a somewhat regular basis - she thinks maybe she's friends with Leila now, as they've moved past standard bedside talk and are sharing more personal stories with each other, but it's also possible Leila is just friendly since she's a Hufflepuff too - but she doesn't see much of anyone else until a week and a bit have passed since her initial rescue from the woods.
She thinks it's a Wednesday when Zoe Wentworth comes sweeping into her room and immediately starts crying when they make eye contact.
There's someone else coming into the room as well, but Odette has a face full of Zoe as her friend drags her up into a hug, and Odette is thankful they were ablet to remove the IV the day before because it definitely would have been yanked out by this and that would have been painful.
"God Odette, I'm so glad you're okay." She says, voice shaking, and Odette honestly is more scared by the unbreakable Zoe Wentworth crying than she was by the threat of Snatchers out in the snow. "They kept reporting all the people out in the woods being killed, and I mean I never heard your name but they didn't report people who were caught and jailed and I just. Fifteen percent of the people sent into Azkaban died in there. And I mean, it was mostly older folks but there were younger ones too and they wouldn't let anyone come onto this floor until recently and I-"
"Am forgetting to breath?" Odette suggests, and Zoe gives a watery laugh and pulls back.
"Yeah, sorry." She steps back and Odette finally gets a chance to see the other person who'd come in behind Zoe.
She'd been expecting Lucas or Leila, so seeing Adeline Lindberg instead is a surprise. Her former Hogwarts roommate and her got along well (really, most of the House did, it's one stereotype she's always been glad is rooted in some truth) but they didn't talk too often once they'd graduated. Odette certainly wasn't expecting a visit from her the way she was from Zoe.
"Hey." She offers in greeting. "How's life?"
Adeline shrugs, grimacing slightly as she does. Injured then. Odette doesn't ask. The war is a sensitive topic - some people are fine talking about it, like Lucas and Leila, but others jerk away from any mention. "Cassie is being released today, and I heard you were able to have visitors so I figured I'd drop by and say hi. How's your life?"
"I can't raise my arm without being exhausted and it ." Odette groans. "I used to be able to write a full report in an hour, it's going to take days now."
Zoe laughs. "Well you can't be that badly off if you're already worrying about work."
Odette grins back and doesn't say that she's focusing on work because thinking about anything else will send her into a panic attack (and she should apologize to Leila for putting her through the last one. Maybe a fruit basket?). Zoe looks stressed enough as-is, no need to add to that.
"So Zoe what did you get up to while I was away?" She tries to keep her tone light so that Zoe won't feel bad about launching into whatever crazy tale she's got stored for that question (and Odette has no doubt that there are plenty of crazy stories about Zoe's exploits over the past months, most of which she's sure would give her a heart attack from second-hand stress).
Thankfully Zoe has enough tact to talk about a not terrifying story in answer to the question. "I worked with Lee Jordan and the Weasley twins to create a super secret broadcast network to keep people up to date with what the Deatheaters weren't telling the public. It was super fun, I felt like a super spy."
"You mean Potterwatch?" Adeline pipes up, sounding impressed. "I listened to that religiously, you guys were awesome!"
Zoe beams. "Well thank you! We thought so." She pauses, and then frowns. "Hang on, how did you hear about it? No offense but you weren't Order and we didn't tell anyone who wasn't."
Adeline shrugs. "None taken. You know Jemma Tremlett? We met through a work thing - long story, don't ask - and she told me about it."
Zoe snorts. "How am I not surprised that Jemma somehow knows everyone?"
Odette notices that Adeline's response is relaxed and fluid in the way that practiced lines often are, but she's too tired to comment and she trusts that neither Adeline nor Jemma - who she remembers being her favorite prefect in school - is up to anything nefarious. So she sits back and listens to her two friends chat about Zoe's secret radio show, swapping stories about their favorite segments to record (Zoe) and listen to (Adeline). A part of her pangs slightly at her total inability to join in the converstaion, but she's overall too tired to give that part of herself too much attention.
And besides, the tales are pretty amusing, and they're good for keeping her mind distracted. "It sounds like Lee and the twins have a real winning formula there." She offers during a long lull in the conversation. "They should try and make the channel not secret now that the war is over."
Zoe winces, and Odette immediately regrets whatever she just said wrong.
"Fred Weasley was killed in the final battle." Zoe says after a long moment of silence, and Adeline's widening eyes indicates that she was as aware of this development as Odette was - which is to say not at all.
"That was weeks ago." Adeline says after a moment, quiet, hesitant, like she's speaking to a scared, dangerous animal. "How come the news hasn't mentioned it?"
"His family wanted a private funeral, and Minister Shacklebolt decided not to release any names until we have all of them." Zoe finally admits after a long, awkward moment. "We're gathering the information for a proper press release in another week. The problem is people keep dying here in Mungo's and the council voted to count them among the casualties of the war."
"They are." Adeline points out, and Odette nods wearily in agreement.
Zoe raises her hands slightly, defensively. "I agree completely, didn't mean to imply that I didn't."
The cheery atmosphere has been entirely deflated at this point, and the three girls sit silently in the heavy exhaustion for several minutes before Adeline slowly gets up.
"I should get going, my ride is probably wondering where I got to." She mumbles. "Good to see you Odette, I'll stop by again if you're still here next time I'm around."
She slips out the door with a quick wave, and Odette is left with Zoe and the continued gloom of the hospital room.
Zoe finally clears after a moment. "She's visiting her brother." She offers after a moment. "I just ran into her in the hallway and invited her with me since I remembered you two got on during school."
"Everyone in Hufflepuff got on with each other." Odette mumbles with a small smile, and thankfully the weight of the air begins to ease as they uncertainly pick up a conversation thread about their school days.
Odette doesn't know how much times passes before she starts yawning and Leila appears as if somehow summoned by Odette's tiredness.
"Alright young lady, visiting hours are over." She declares, shooing Zoe out of the room. Zoe manages to shout that she'll be back the next day before Leila shuts the door behind her.
"I'm alright Leila, you didn't need to push her." Odette says with a slight frown, but Leila shakes her head.
"I had to I'm afraid, visiting hours were over three hours ago and my supervisor was coming. Can't let him know I'm letting people break the rules." She winks conspiratorially, and Odette laughs aloud. She's defintiely sending Leila a fruit basket, and if she can write a review about her experience she's giving Leila a glowing one.
She falls asleep maybe twenty minutes later and wakes up to a new day. She's momentarily thankful that she's sleeping the normal amount again, and then immediately goes into a panic attack over the fact she has to be relieved about that at all.
When she comes around from it Leila is sitting next to her, holding her hand and talking her through breathing exercises. When Odette has regained enough control of herself to not need to be taught how to breath (Merlin but she's pathetic now) Leila quietly suggests she might want to go see a psychologist.
Odette scoffs outright. "I don't think a Muggle would be much good at helping, no offense, and I've never heard of a wizarding therapist."
"There aren't officially." Leila admits. "But there are some trained professionals who work for the Squib rights foundation. They've offered their services to anyone who needs it."
Odette blinks, needing a moment to process the offer. "So like... they're Squibs?"
Leila gives a half-smile. "Exactly. One foot in each world. Just think about it, it's not required but I think it would help a lot."
Odette hums noncommittally. Personally she doesn't like the idea - it would feel too much like admitting there's something fundamentally broken about her, and that would feel like letting the bad guys win, even though they didn't and the Dark Lord is dead and buried. But she likes Leila, and Leila has always tried to give her good advice, so she doesn't say any of that out loud. She doesn't want to hurt Leila's feelings.
But she's not going to see a shrink, thank you very much.
The day passes, slow and extremely boring. Zoe doesn't come even though she said she would, and Odette pretends that doesn't activate a minor meltdown that Lucas has to deal with when he comes in to check her vitals. He still looks like death, and is still refusing to take care of himself properly, and Odette is still too tired to properly lecture him about it so that's another thing to feel terrible about.
Zoe comes the next day instead and immediately apologizes and talks about a massive surprise edition of the Prophet she was called in to take photos for. She doesn't elaborate more than that, but her eyes are sunken and haunted and Odette doesn't think she wants to know anyway.
Zoe doesn't stay as long this time, and Odette thinks it's because she's become a terrible converstaionalist after months alone in the woods with nobody to talk to. Last time Zoe had Adeline to chat with, but this time it's only Odette. She doesn't think Zoe will be back.
But her best friend surprises her by steadfastly coming every single day, sometimes only for a few minutes as she keeps working on the secret project that's drawing deeper and deeper bags under her eyes, but she always makes sure to stop by.
It's about a week later, when Odette has just been told she'll be released in three days, when Adeline comes again, this time alone. Zoe had already been by earlier for about an hour before running off to continue the project for the Prophet so Odette hadn't been expecting anyone else other than Leila and maybe Lucas (though she hasn't seen him in a few days which is probably good since he needs to rest), so when Adeline knocks she's genuinely confused.
"Hey." She greets anyway, because that's polite and if Odette doesn't want people to see how cracked she is she needs to act normal and polite is normal. She thinks.
Adeline gives a wan grin. "Hey. I hear you're being released soon?"
Odette nods silently, unsure how to verbally respond to that, but thankfully Adeline doesn't seem to need the vocal confirmation.
"You're the first of the intensives to be let out. It's a really big deal. They think they've officially contained the nuber of deaths now, and all the other intensive care patients will only get better from here on out. Which is great news."
Adeline doesn't say it like it's great news, and Odette tries to think of what to say and curses herself when she comes up empty. She never would have before, she always knew what to say before. So she stays quiet and useless and waits for Adeline to say something else.
"I haven't been home since it all ended." She announces after a moment. "I was staying with. A friend for a lot of the second half of the war and I just haven't gone home yet. I'm scared to see what it looks like."
There's a pause before Adeline says 'a friend', and it's brief but Odette notices it, and she feels a bit better than she still notices things. That she isn't completely drained of everything she was before.
"I get that." She says after a moment because she thinks maybe she does. She hasn't really thought about what her house must look like after standing empty for so long but now she is and it-
She blanks out, and when she comes to Adeline is standing nervously in a corner while Leila holds her hand and talks her through breathing.
Odette is humiliated. She'd had a panic attack in front of someone other that Leila and she wants to crawl into a hole and die now please. Why did she ever think the After would be good? The After is a bastard that likes watching her embarrass and degrade herself. She wishes she'd died out in those woods.
Leila asks Adeline to leave, and the other girl does without argument, though she does give Odette a look that Odette can't quite parse (because she's broken now and- nope, not having another attack, one was plenty). Leila has to walk her through breathing again, and she counts it as a loss.
"Do you have anyone you can stay with when you're discharged?" Leila asks her the next day while Odette is choking down the tasteless nutrition potion she's required to take three times a day.
Odette shrugs. She thinks of her mother, but she doesn't want to worry Maylene, and having a panic attack in front of her would be devastating for both of them. No, definitely not her mother.
Zoe? No, absolutely not, she refuses to have a panic attack in front of her. She'd lose her best friend - who wants to be attached to someone who can't even control her own thoughts?
"Not really." She finally admits after a moment, and Leila sighs.
"Okay, then I'd like you to look at something now. I didn't want to aggravate you, but I don't want you to see it when you don't have a support system in place." The nurse holds out a thick copy of the Daily Prophet, and Odette can already see the dozens of pictures. This must be the project Zoe was working on.
She's barely started reading when she figures out what this edition is - obituaries for every single victim of the war. It's split into sections - the Battle of Hogwarts is on the front and boast fifty-two casualties, the Order of the Phoenix has another fifteen, twelve among Ministry workers, and there's even a page for the twenty-two Deatheaters and Snatchers. She flips through it, recognizing some names vaguely but not seeing anyone she's particularly close with.
Then she reaches the end, and her eyes lock onto the picture of the fifth Muggleborn on the page.
Dirk Cresswell.
Odette panics, and nothing is ever going to be okay again.
Author's Note: ...This is why I count Chapter Fifty as the official end and these two as Codas. When planning I thought this chapter would end on a hopeful note, the way that Gabe's did, but when I started writing I realized that Odette was far too raw for that yet, and so this is what we get instead ;;
We're back to weekly Sunday updates for the three-part epilogue, and for anyone interested in seeing what happens next Unfogging the Future will be posting weekely teasers all month as well until it formally starts in November~
Next Week: Summer, 1998
Comments