Chapter Twenty-Four
Confronting the Faceless 💀 CompleteJanuary 12-28, 1998
"You care so much you feel you will bleed to death with the pain of it"
It's been almost two month now. Two months since Laurel's trap-disarming expedition into the Forest of Dean. Two months since Kent stupidly set off one of those traps like an absolute amateur.
Two months since he had to stare into the lifeless eyes of his baby sister.
Drake tells him in fits and starts what had happened. It takes the younger man nearly a week to get all the details out, and sometimes Kent wants to shake him and demand the entire story and sometimes he wishes Drake would just keep it all to himself.
The two of them had been caught off guard when the first Snatchers apparated in, and one had gotten a lucky hit on Evera before she could get a shield up. Drake had been fighting for his life so hadn't seen how the second shot got through, but Evera had been hit again and her shield had dropped.
Jacob Fawley had jumped in at that point, shielding Evera while desperately fending off several attackers himself, ultimately succumbing due to the fact he isn't a fighter and hadn't been in a real duel since he'd graduated nearly a decade earlier.
Drake, Laurel, and a former Auror turned Order member named Hestia Jones had all jumped in shortly after that, having finally overcome their own opponents, but at that point Evera had been bled out for several minutes.
Jacob is still alive. Barely, but Jemma had gotten to his injuries in time. He's in the Critical Watch ward on the Sixth floor of St. Mungo's, under guard by lower-level Deatheaters who are waiting for him to wake up in order to be interrogated. Jemma is keeping him artificially comatose for the time being until the Order can work out a way to smuggle him out.
An ugly part of Kent sometimes wishes Jacob was dead instead of Evera, that'd he'd jumped in sooner. He shuts those thoughts down quickly whenever they arise - there's no time to begrudge allies their lives.
They'd buried Evera in an unmarked grave near the forest, under the cover of night. Kent, Drake, and Jemma had been the only real attendees - Laurel was present but was more concerned with keeping watch for Snatchers that might ambush the small gathering.
Kent has the location marked on a map he'd drawn up of the area, so that when all of this is finally over he can go back and reinter his sister's body in the family grave back in Sweden.
Jemma and Drake have both thrown themselves into the Order - and work in Jemma's case - in the past few weeks, but Kent finds himself struggling to do the same. As a result, he's barely seen the other two since the incident, despite now living with both of them (since Evera is... gone, her apartment was rented out to someone else, and Jemma, still uncomfortable in her own empty home has temporarily moved into the boys' guest room).
He does still help with Order business of course - running patrols with Laurel, helping procure certain items that the healers need, small things like that. But since his sister's death he's having a harder time accepting all the little failings he'd noticed even before that fateful day.
He feels like he's been cut adrift - before he was fully focused on the Order and their mission, but now each time he goes out all he can see is all the ways it could go horribly wrong, all the other people he could lose. The disorganization grates on him now in a way it never had, or would have, before, and he wouldn't admit it openly but he thinks he might understand why some of the other Houses had found Gryffindors so frustrating during school.
But at the same time, he doesn't know what else he can do. Kingsley had been forced out of the Ministry and into hiding about a month after the disastrous outing and Kent had hoped that the other man's presence might bring with it some semblance of authority and order, but even Kingsley is struggling to balance the large number of new members and the increasingly ordered Snatcher initiative.
Kent was frustrated by this at first, until he remembers that Kingsley had been in the same year as him during Hogwarts. He's only twenty-eight, same as Kent (and he has to remind himself of that number. Jemma and Drake had brought home a cake on January eighth and sung Happy Birthday but it hadn't been very festive. It's easily the worst birthday he's ever had), so of course Kingsley can only do so much. He's still young.
That's another thing Kent has begun taking notice of as well - everyone's ages. The Weasleys are in their fifties, and Lupin nearly fourty, but most of the Order members are children, barely into their twenties with no life experience but school and war. Laurel and Eric are among the eldest, being nearly thirty, but they have a five year old at home waiting expectantly for her mommy and daddy to tuck her into bed. Every near miss Kent sees Laurel avoid makes him wonder who will tell her daughter when her mother's luck finally runs out.
He hasn't told his parents yet, they're on a well-deserved vacation scheduled long before any of this began. He remembers how he and Evera had spent hours convincing them to go on their cruise despite the looming war, promising to check the house regularly for intruders and to stay safe.
Kent had promised them privately that he'd protect his little sister. Now he has to figure out how to tell them that he failed. That they have to bury their daughter.
He needs a goal, something to do to make him feel like all of this has been worth something. That Evera didn't die for a cause that's going to fall apart any minute now.
But for nearly two months he's in a haze, wanting direction but unsure which one to take - unsure if there are any to take.
In that time he drifts between jobs, hoping some of it will make him feel useful. Some things are better at sparking some life in him that others - successful outings with Laurel, when they manage to get some fighting in and put some Snatchers out of commission for the near future, are usually adrenaline-inducing enough to turn off the parts of his brain focused on the negatives. And assisting Lee and Zoe with Potterwatch, helping them with their setup and gathering in-the-field info that even Zoe doesn't always have access to does make him feel like they might be accomplishing something worthwhile. He knows that Potterwatch is a beacon of hope for a lot of people, so he's glad that the little group is still putting out semi-regular reports.
He doesn't go on himself though, even though both George and Lee have offered, even offering the correspondence name 'Rouge'. Drake had taken that role instead, and though he's only been on once he'd been a natural and Zoe has already asked if he'd take part in another broadcast sometime.
In the meantime Remus Lupin has become a semi-regular correspondent, so Kent has been getting to know him somewhat. The man is a bit of a nervous wreck at times (which Kent doesn't fault him for - he can't imagine how he'd feel if he was expecting a child in the middle of all this) but he's generally enjoyable to speak with. He sees a lot of the same problems that Kent does so they can speak candidly with each other about their concerns.
That's how Kent finds himself seeking out the werewolf at an Order meeting in the Burrow in mid-January. He'd run into Drake the night before and had nearly had a heart attack when he'd seen the blood on the younger man's robes. Drake had brushed it off as someone else's, but Kent still needs his dose of sanity.
Thankfully, the Lupins are in attendance this month and Kent is able to snag a seat next to Tonks, who gives him a grin and turns her hair electric blue.
Kent can't help smiling at that. Sure everything is terrible and he feels like the Order isn't accomplishing anything, but Tonks remembers his favorite color and went out of her way to try and make him feel a little better, despite her own terrifying circumstances. That's worth a smile.
"How are things coming along?" He asks her, gesturing to her swollen belly.
She groans. "My back is ready to off itself and I keep craving the weirdest things. At least morning sickness has passed though, so that's something."
"You're due in April, right?" He double checks, and she beams.
"Yep, right at the start or so. Oh, and it's a boy! Eric checked for us last week." She looks almost dreamy as she shares the news. "Remus and I are trying to think of names but nothing is really sticking. You don't have any suggestions?"
Kent shrugs apologetically. "Sorry, not at the moment. I'm not exactly thinking about kids myself right now."
"That's right, Evera told me once in school that for all your flirting you've never actually had a relationship." Tonks sounds like she's teasing, and Kent would blush if she hadn't just name-dropped his sister like it didn't hurt him to hear about her. Tonks seems to realize moment laters her mistake. "I'm sorry." She says quietly. "I didn't think... I miss her to. We weren't that close in school but I remember she was always bright and active. Absolutely lit up the room."
"She did." Kent says dully, turning away. "Meeting ought to start soon."
From the corner of his eye he sees Tonks look helplessly over at her husband, who looks equally uncertain about how to proceed from that. Luckily for Kent, who had no interest in finding out how they try to correct the mistake, the meeting really does start shortly after.
Mrs. Weasley bustles into the crowded living area, which somehow, despite the fact several people are having to stand to make room, feels cozy rather than enclosed. Kent supposes that with such a large family the space has been adjusted with crowds in mind. He's just glad he was early enough to get a seat - these meetings can get long.
"Alright, is everyone here?" She asks, looking around calculatingly before giving a pleased smile. "Excellent. Well, Arthur and I do have some news, but we'll wrap up the meeting with that. First of all what reports are there from the patrols?" She looks over at Kingsley, who clears his throat since he can't stand up to gain attention.
"There is some news. For one thing I'd like to remind everyone that we only go out in pairs-"
"I couldn't sleep!" Oliver Wood protests from where he's sitting on the windowsill, squished between Zoe Wentworth and Lee Jordan. "I figured I'd just do a short sweep so I'd be tired!"
"Regardless, we go out in pairs, no exceptions. It's a matter of safety." Kingsley reiterates firmly, and Oliver rolls his eyes but leans back against the window with no further argument. "In addition, for those of you who don't read the Prophet-"
"Which you shouldn't, it's all utter garbage." One of the newer members declares with clear distaste. Alma Blishwick is technically an older new member, but Kent doesn't know her well enough to know if she'll bring anything resembling order or organization to the group.
Kingsley sighs. "-For those of you who don't read the Prophet," He repeats, glancing pointedly at the two people who have already interrupted him, "The Snatchers are officially hiring, which means they're likely expanding the territory they cover. That means we need to follow suit. Patrols are going to increase starting tomorrow, so anyone who would be willing to take more shifts please come see me after the meeting. It will be greatly appreciated."
With that he nods to Mrs. Weasley, clearly finished speaking. Kent glances to where Drake and Jemma are sharing one of the loveseats and can tell immediately that his roommate will be volunteering. Jemma, meanwhile, looks rather resigned at the new information. She already looks like she barely sleeps, and Kent worries that with this increase in work she'll stop resting entirely. Even Eric doesn't look as worn as she does most days, and Kent wonders if he should suggest they focus on recruiting more medical personnel.
While he's lost in thought, Eric has stepped up to give an overview of the situation at St. Mungo's. He's one of the few who managed to grab a spot on the couch, and Laurel drops her five-year-old daughter Victoria, who'd come along with her parents this time, into his evacuated seat so no one else steals it while Eric speaks.
"There's an official order out to prioritize injured Snatchers that come in." He says, voice tight and tired. "All other persons, regardless of condition, are to be considered lower priority. The death toll is increasing needlessly but any attempts by healers to follow their usual prioritization is seen as treason. Our receptionist Isabella Brown was fired when she tried asking questions, and there was a clear implication that worse would happen if anyone else got any ideas."
Kent glares at the floor. It's a good thing that Jacob had gotten in when he had then - with these new restrictions any seriously injured Order members won't be able to rely on St Mungo's for worse injuries. His earlier idea to bring in more healers is definitely seeming more appealing as the meeting continues on.
Though even if they had some, where would they work? The Weasley's home isn't exactly ideal...
Eric sits back down, pulling his daughter onto his lap as he does. The next person to raise her hand is a less familiar face, but one that Kent still knows from a few group raids he'd participated in, including the one he doesn't like thinking about.
Minerva Seo pushes her way closer to the center of the room and proceeds to step up onto a table to ensure she's being seen. "As someone who does keep apprised of the Prophet's hogwash I knew about the Snatcher hiring and so I dropped by my parents' place to see if that was reflective of anything in the main Deatheater ranks."
Minerva Seo pushes her way closer to the center of the room and proceeds to step up onto a table to ensure she's being seen. "As someone who does keep apprised of the Prophet's hogwash I knew about the Snatcher hiring and so I dropped by my parents' place to see if that was reflective of anything in the main Deatheater ranks."
And hadn't that been an odd thing to learn, that they have the daughter of active Deatheaters involved with the Order. Minerva's primary role tends to involve her sneaking into her parents' home and giving updates on Deatheater movement. She's successfully tipped them off to a few organized attacks on Muggle villages, though she unfortunately can't actually infiltrate anything due to a very dramatic and public divorce from her family upon her marrying her Muggleborn sweetheart right out of school.
"From what I was able to ascertain, the Snatchers are their own unit, mostly unconnected to the rest of the force." She says, sounding frustrated. "Really they're almost regarded as a joke - I mean, their boss is my age. I remember her from school, a real piece of work but not as smart as she always thought she was. So I can almost guarantee that anyone they hire isn't going to be particularly intelligent."
Kent isn't sure he entirely agrees - Theo is also involved after all, and much as his ex-partner frustrates him these days he can acknowledge that Theo was and is skilled. He doubts it's wise to completely dismiss the Unit.
But he keeps his mouth shut - he honestly just wants to go home at this point - he has enough bad news to last a lifetime, no need to prolong getting more.
"That's good information to have, thank you Minerva." Kingsley adds, and she grins in that slightly-off-putting way she has before stepping off the table and returning to her original post leaning against the wall.
Lee is the next one to wave frantically for attention, grinning broadly once he gets it and nearly taking out Oliver's eye in the process. "We've got another broadcast scheduled to go out tonight, so don't forget to tune in! We've got some great guest speakers involved." He winks at the Lupins and Drake, the latter of whom puffs up proudly.
Kent frowns at his roommate - why hadn't Drake told him he'd be broadcasting tonight? Kent would have been worried sick if the other man didn't arrive back home before midnight.
"Any other announcements to share?" Mrs. Weasley asks when no one else steps up to fill the silence, looking around carefully before nodding and clearing . "Well then, I'm afraid Arthur and I have somewhat unfortunate news to close out with. Due to increasing scrutiny on Arthur at the Ministry, it will no longer be safe to hold meetings here at the Burrow from this point going forward." She looks genuinely apologetic, though Kent can't imagine anyone is particularly angry at the Weasleys for the news - it's not like they haven't been waiting for this exact announcement for some time. But it does leave them with a rather prominent issue.
And that's when Kent suddenly sees a possible solution to his aimlessness - and to a lot of his issues with the Order.
"Excuse me, Mrs. Weasley?" He speaks up abruptly, flushing when he realizes how rude that probably seemed but he's on a role. "Didn't you tell us a while ago that Bill was trying to reverse engineer the charms on Grimmauld Place?"
"It's difficult to do considering we don't have access to the original building-" Bill starts and Kent quickly holds up his hands.
"No offense intended, sorry Bill." He says quickly. "I actually was thinking I could take point on that project? Maybe we shouldn't be trying to recreate Grimmauld Place at all, but starting from scratch. I don't have any major projects at the moment, and I may know some people who can help who wouldn't be connected to the Order."
Mrs. Weasley glaces at her oldest, who shrugs in return. "I don't see why not. I can give you my notes on what I've figured out so far, and of course I'm happy to help where I can." The scarred man says, and Kent is a little suspicious by the painless handover of power but he's too relieved to linger on it.
"Who are these contacts?" Kingsley speaks up, ever the voice of caution and reason (something Kent is thankful for - in a room full of former Gryffindors, the Slytherin man is a needed balance).
"Friends of a friend." He says confidently. "Preston Kane worked with them in Romania for a couple years. Ekaterina's husband is a metal charmer who works in security for Gringotts - if anyone can get us a secret HQ it would be him."
Bill looks surprised. "Is that Ekaterina Zima? She worked with Charlie in Romania for a few years, I remember her. Weird girl, but nice."
Kent nods. "One and the same. Preston is at the same sanctuary as Charlie actually."
"Sounds like they're trustworthy, then." Kingsley admits. "No further questions, I look forward to seeing the outcome."
"I can get you another partner as well to work on that." Laurel offers. "My sister is looking for a way to help out the war effort and she's wicked smart, she probably could be of use."
"I thought Holly was super pregnant right now though. Shouldn't she be resting?" Drake pipes up, and Laurel gives him a wry look.
"I have two sisters kid." She reminds him. "Willow reached out to me a couple weeks ago, so she's available if you like Kent."
Kent only vaguely remembers Willow Kiddell from school. A year younger than him, she was Ravenclaw and a prefect, and he thinks he recalls her terrifying a few seventh year Slytherins when she was in third year (though he might be mistaking her for Laurel on that one). So he nods in acceptance of the offer.
"Sounds good, thanks Laurel."
The meeting mostly disperses after that, and Kent makes his way over to Bill and Fleur to discuss logistics. Laurel and Eric join them shortly after so they can solidify how to bring Willow into the Order smoothly.
"She can just come over to the apartment tonight if she's free." Kent offers. "We can sort through Bill's notes and figure out where to start from there. Though obviously I'll need a few days to contact Ekaterina, since Preston is the one who knows her - I'll have to go through him."
Laurel hums. "I'll check with her. If not she can probably do tomorrow night."
"Whenever works." Kent accepts, and the two couples make to leave shortly after.
Kent decides to check in with Drake before he himself departs, to determine when the other man will be home as well as maybe ask Lee Jordan about how Potterwatch will work from this point forward.
"Oh, we'll still mostly broadcast from here." Lee says brightly. "George figures that even if they're watching his dad it's not like they can get into the broadcast signal without the passwords. But we will have to cut back the number of broadcasts though, since I can't be seen coming and going from here too much." He sounds regretful. "And Zoe is going to have to stop coming entirely, which . She's going to owl the joke shop with her info under the guise of ordering product."
"Smart." Kent comments, "Though I will miss Renegade's biting commentary on the goons in charge."
"You all are making a great sacrifice indeed." Zoe declares dramatically, and the group laughs.
"Hey Drake, before I head out when do you suppose you'll be back tonight?"
Drake blinks, then looks a bit sheepish. "Oh, well actually I won't be? Might not be for a while - I'm taking up double shifts for Kingsley and it's easier to crash at Jemma and Don's place since it's empty and also in the area. I asked permission, don't give me that look!" He adds defensively, and Kent sighs.
"Well thanks for finally telling me I suppose. Willow is going to be over at our place every so often from now on so if and when you do come home don't be surprised."
Drake hums acknowledgement, already turning back to the Potterwatch crew, and Kent sighs and excuses himself, knowing that's the best he'll get.
Willow doesn't end up coming over that night, but she shows up the next day looking a bit frazzled but determined, her black hair tossed into a messy bun and her robes slightly wrinkled.
"I had a case to wrap up last night, but if you're free now?" She offers, and Kent steps back to let her into the apartment.
She drops a briefcase onto his coffee table and kicks off her heels, and it's only then than Kent realizes she'd probably come directly here from the courtroom.
"Um, if you wanted to rest a bit we have a guest room." He offers, knowing that Jemma had been on shift last night and won't be back for a few more hours at least, assuming no emergencies came in during the night.
Willow waves him off. "Took a Wide-Eye before I came over, I'll be good. Some tea would be nice though? If it's not an imposition."
Kent quickly shakes his head. "Of course not. Um, make yourself at home I guess? Bill's notes are over on the desk if you wanted to-" She's already up and moving towards them before he can finish the sentence, and he leaves her to it as he goes into the kitchen to make the requested tea.
When he returns not fifteen minutes later with two cups, Willow already has a full parchment of notes and ideas, and they fall stright into work. It's surprisingly easy, in a way nothing has been in weeks. Willow is all professional focus and slightly worn edges, and as hours turn to days turn to weeks Kent finds himself drawn to the younger woman, looking forward to their night time meetings, which have quickly become the only part of his days when the ever-present stinging in his chest eases ever so slightly, lightening each time they make a breakthrough and she tosses that tired smile his way.
It's slow going, made slower by the fact that even two weeks in Preston hasn't gotten back to him about Ekaterina and her husband, so they're working with a massive question mark hovering over whether they'll have a professional metal charmer helping them or not. But they make do, and slowly but surely things start to take shape.
It's just about two in the morning on what's now a Wednesday when Willow begins swearing.
Kent looks over at the woman from where he's cross-referencing Bill's notes with his old Arithmancy charts. "Everything alright?"
"I completely ed up one of the calculations and it threw off everything from that point forward." Willow groans, running a hand over her face. ", I'm going to have to restart."
Kent hasn't heard Willow cuss that intensely before and it puts him slightly on edge, knowing how her two sisters get when they're in a temper. "Maybe we should call it a night? It's getting pretty late." He points out carefully.
Willow swears softly again, shaking her head. "I'll take another Wide-Eye, I need to get this done tonight."
There's something raw scraping at the walls of her statement, and Kent frowns, putting the notes down and turning to face her fully.
"We're not on a time limit here, we can take a break." He says slowly, still wary of the infamous Kiddell temper revealing itself.
"I can't though, don't you get it? I-" She shakes her head, burying her face in her hands. "...I can't Kent. I can't."
Temper be arsed, Kent is instantly on the couch next to her. A small part of him throbs as he remembers being in this exact same position with a weeping Evera years ago, as she admitted she felt like her friends were ignoring her after they'd started dating.
All that was ages ago, and Drake and Jemma split up and all three went back to being the closest of friend groups, but for some reason the image springs to mind. Kent swallows hard.
"Talk to me." He offers softly, and Willow shakes her head again, face still in her hands.
"You'll think less of me." She says tiredly. "And don't say you won't because you don't know what I did."
Kent doesn't reply. If she wants to talk, she will - he knows full well not to force these things.
"I wasn't here, at first." She finally states, her voice a little stronger now, but her tone taking on a defensive distance. "Laurel asked me way back in August. She asked Holly too, but she'd just found out she was pregnant then so there was less pressure on her."
Kent thinks he knows where this is going, but Willow fails to elaborate for a good five minutes, at which point he decides to take a risk.
"You're punishing yourself." His voice is quiet, but they're alone in the apartment and the declaration seems to fill the space uncomfortably. "I get that. Every night I close my eyes and see my sister." His throat closes, but Willow is looking at him now and he can see how lost she looks. He presses on. "It was the worst right afterwards. I thought of every thing I could have done differently. Tormented myself for setting off that trap. I threw myself into the Order, nearly got Laurel killed. That was when I realized self-destructing wasn't going to help anything."
That had been a bad night, and one he doesn't like thinking about. Laurel was fine - she's an amazingly skilled duelist after all - but Kent hadn't had her back the way he should have. "Pushing yourself to do more and faster will only hurt things in the long run."
There's another long silence, and then Willow breathes out shakily. "I worked the Muggleborn trials."
And that... Kent hadn't been expecting that. And he can't say it doesn't change his opinion of her, like she'd warned him.
He tries to say something supportive but Willow cuts him off, driving forward with increasing determination. "I stood by and handed that awful toad her so-called evidence and just watched as people who I knew were innocent of all charges had their wands snapped and were dragged off to Azkaban. I was so terrified of what they'd do to me, to my family, I let it happen." There are tears now, quiet in the same way Willow has been for the past two weeks. "I refused to leave with Laurel back then. Everything I was present for after that is my responsibility. So you understand Kent, I have to finish this. With an HQ the things the Order could do-"
"Are limitless. But if you aren't taking care of yourself then it's only going to take longer. You're brilliant Willow, more than I am. You know this." He stands slowly, carefully taking one of her hands and pulling her up with him. "You're staying here tonight. I think some of Evera's old things will fit you."
He's halfway turned when Willow's grip grows tighter and she pulls him back around to face her, her free hand reaching up to pull him down into an intense kiss.
It's terrible timing, and neither one of them is in the best state of mind considering the hour and the emotional talk, but Kent doesn't pull away. Maybe he needs this as much as Willow does.
When they wake up the next morning, tangled together under Kent's sheets, he doesn't think it was a mistake. If anything, he thinks could get used to this. If nothing else, it was the best sleep he's gotten in months.
"Good morning." He says quietly when he sees Willow's eyes flicker open.
"Morning." She replies, just as soft, almost reverent. "So that happened. I don't think I regret it, but this also doesn't seem the best time, does it?"
Kent grins - that's the Willow he's come to know. "Maybe not. But when this is over I think we can agree I owe you dinner."
She chuckles softly. "I may just hold you to that Mr. Sylvester."
Author's Note: So. There was supposed to be a LOT more time developing Kent and Willow's relationship here, but then Order-related plot points demanded more page time than I'd expected and well. Here we are! Hopefully it doesn't feel too rushed/forced? We'll get more of these two in the future so hopefully that will make up for this rushed nonsense OTL
Next Week: You can always have more power: just know who to take it from
So I'm thinking I might do a final 'afterwords' chapter to share my thoughts and feelings on writing this story, if that's something people would be interested in? I'm also open to answering any lingering questions people might have there as well!
Comments