Chapter Fourty-Two
Confronting the Faceless 💀 CompleteApril 30, 1998
"You are a symbol of hope for many"
The dorms are quiet. A few months ago he would have welcomed the silence, but of course he had to go and become friendly with his roommates just before everything went to absolute crap and he was left alone in their dorms.
Well, not entirely alone - Terry Boot hasn't had to go into hiding yet - but Minki knows that given another week he'll be the only seventh year Ravenclaw left standing. After all, he's the only one who isn't openly involved with the DA.
Taking that into consideration, he'll probably be the only non-Slytherin seventh year still standing within a few weeks - most of Gryffindor is gone as well, and a handful of Hufflepuffs (though that House seems slower to run than Gryffindor and Ravenclaw have been).
"Well, ready for another day then?" Terry asks into the stifling quiet of the room, and Minki finally cracks open his eyes to face the morning sun peeking through the curtains. He doesn't question how Terry knew he was awake - neither of them really sleeps anymore, after all.
"There's not much choice either way." He points out tiredly as he sits up and swings his legs off the bed. "I'm pretty sure if we didn't show up to class the Carrows would find a way to hunt us down and make us go into hiding as well.
Terry huffs out a whining breath. "I don't want to go into hiding, I'd miss class then." He complains, and Minki cracks a smile as he finally gets all the way up and grabs for his school robes. "I refuse to start missing class when there's only a month of school left. I've got a whole plan to maintain you know."
Minki hums. He does know - something he's learned since joining the DA is that Terry talks a lot about anything he thinks you'll listen to, and once he's done with that he'll start talking about himself. Minki thought he minded but now that they're alone so often the constant noise is actually comforting.
"Ugh, Thursdays are the worst." Terry continues, muffling himself slightly as he pulls a dress shirt over his head instead of just ing it like a normal person. "Starting with Dark Arts and then Muggle Studies at the end, who even made the schedules? Those two classes shouldn't be allowed to exist on the same day in my opinion."
Minki shrugs. "At least we don't have them with the Slytherins." He point out, because Michael isn't here to point it out anymore.
He still shudders internally whenever he thinks about Michael Corner. Sure the guy had never been his favorite person in the world, but no one deserves being beaten within an inch of their life for trying to help an eleven year old.
Michael had moved into the Room of Requirement as soon as he'd been released from the Hospital Wing, and Anthony and Padma had followed shortly after when Amycus had threatened them with the Killing Curse. He's threatened Terry a few times as well, but their youngest dorm mate is rather stubborn about not missing class. And possibly is a bit lacking in the common sense department.
Still, Minki is glad for Terry's stubborn refusal to turn tail and hide, even though he's ready to force the other boy into the Room himself if Amycus ever tries to actually follow through on his threats.
Terry continues chattering about nothing in particular as they get dressed, eventually settling on a Charms assignment as they head for breakfast in the Great Hall. Minki lets the words float around him without really listening, and he knows Terry won't mind. He'd worried about that for a while but Padma had assured him Terry doesn't take offense to people tuning him out whatsoever, and after a month of testing that theory Minki has concluded that she's right. Terry just likes to talk.
The Ravenclaw table is uncomfortably empty these days - the entire Great Hall is really - and even Terry lowers his voice when they enter the room, his eyes flicking towards the teacher's table where the Carrows are sizing up each student coming in with the intensity of a starving predator.
Amycus leers at Minki and Terry, and Minki shudders while Terry squares off and raises his chin defiantly, his flow of words momentarily cutting off entirely.
"You know stuff like that is why they target you in a class we share with Gryffindors." Minki says lowly once they're at the Ravenclaw table and the Carrows' attention has moved on. "You should be more careful."
Terry shrugs. "Feels like giving in if I don't put up at least a token effort of resistance." He says, but he sounds rather dull as he does. "Even if we're under orders now to stand down unless absolutely necessary."
"So you don't die." Minki points out and Terry hums.
"Well yeah that's why I don't speak out in class anymore. But, you know. Feels like we're failing the whole school right now and I hate it."
Minki's mother always hugs him whenever he's having a bad day, and while calling their current situation a "bad day" would be a massive understatement he thinks the same logic probably applies (honestly the emotional stuff has always slightly eluded him, but Padma has gotten him thinking about it a lot more recently). So he reaches over to pat Terry on the shoulder awkwardly, and he's given a tired smile for his efforts.
"Thanks, I know that's a big hug in Minki speak." Terry jokes as he begins piling food onto his plate. "Think I have time to smuggle any of this to the Room? I know they have that portal or whatever but they can't exactly use it all the time, you know? Only when Ab is closed."
"You can't be late for Dark Arts Terry, Amycus is waiting for any excuse." Minki says immediately. "They'll be fine, they probably went before opening."
Terry's shoulders hunch silently but he doesn't protest when they head straight for the Dark Arts classroom once their plates are cleared.
With most of seventh year in hiding the class is extremely small - just the two of them and Parvati Patil, who looks scared and lonely without Lavender Brown seated beside her. Terry immediately goes to sit next to her, and Minki takes the desk behind them, pulling out his quills and parchment with the intent of mostly zoning out for the next hour - it's not like they're really learning anything these days.
They'd finished the Cruciatus "section" of the course the week before Easter break and are now learning about the Killing Curse. It's basically the exact same as the previous two, except far less complicated and a lot more dangerous.
At least Amycus hasn't made them actually perform it yet (and it's not being done in Friday detentions either, thank Merlin). He just rambles on about how you have to really mean it when you try to kill something and talking about all the times "great" witches and wizards used it to win fights.
Personally, Minki thinks that if you have to kill your opponent to win an argument then you didn't really win - you just gave up and took the easy route out of the situation.
Terry had nearly said just that the week before but luckily Padma was still with them then and had slapped a hand over his mouth before he could get himself killed. Of course, that action had been what had gotten her threatened and driven her to join the other DA members in the Room of Requirement rather than risk Amycus following through on his threats.
Class is typical for the most part, and Minki spends it idly working on dance routines instead of taking notes, but Parvati kicking Terry's chair jars him back into the present maybe five minutes before the end of class. Minki immediately looks up, taking stock of the situation.
Amycus is looking enraged, Parvati both nervous and exasperated, and Terry has a look of defiance which is not a good sign.
"You care to repeat that Mr. Boot?" Amycus say threateningly, attempting to loom over Minki's roommate and failing rather spectacularly due to his stoutness. The effect is still there though - only an idiot wouldn't be nervous around a furious Amycus.
Unfortunately for him, Minki's roommate is one of those idiots. "I just said the Killing Curse seems rather like the coward's curse is all. You don't have to listen to people screaming or force your mind overtop anyone else's. You just wave your wand and avoid your problems."
Parvati drops her head onto the desk and wisely inches her chair to the side. Terry doesn't look at her, holding Amycus's gaze calmly.
"You'll pay for that in detention boy." Amycus hisses, just as the bell sounds to release them from the classroom.
Minki and Parvati pack up quickly, and then wait for Terry in the hallway since he takes his time collecting his things, taunting Amycus with his refusal to be scared.
"You're a reckless idiot, and I'm saying that as a Gryffindor." Parvati scolds the moment he comes out of the room. "What were you thinking? You couldn't hold that in for three minutes Terry?"
"I'm with Parv." Minki agrees.
Terry scoffs. "Of course you are, you're crushing on her twin something awful."
Parvati laughs a bit at that and Minki doesn't bother denying it - after all, it's true. He'd mind more if he didn't know that Padma also likes him. They'd talked about it at the beginning of April and agreed that the middle of a war wasn't an ideal time to start a relationship, but that after graduating they'd see where things went.
"Minki knows he doesn't have to impress me. And you were still an idiot." Parvati says matter-of-factly once she's gotten her giggles under control. "Neville said to avoid getting detentions until the Carrows have cooled down."
"No offense to Nev but he would've done the same thing and you know it. Bit hypocritical of him to say we can't do something that he would."
Parvati shrugs. "Still, I'll try to be nearby to help your dumb to the Hospital Wing." She sighs. "Minki, you want to keep me company?"
Minki knows the 'right' answer would be to say yes. To risk his safety and the anonymity he's had despite getting involved with the DA in order to be a good friend. But he shrugs and shakes his head instead.
Neither Parvati nor Terry look surprised or insulted at his choice. Minki has made clear from the start that he doesn't want to get involved with the active resisting that they do - he just checks their plans and practices Defense spells with them at their meetings.
"You're coming to the meeting this Saturday though, right? We're doing more Patronus work and I know you and Anthony are racing to not be the last Ravenclaw to make a corporeal Patronus. He might have an edge on you being in the Room all day now." Parvati observes as they reach the stairwell. "Well, this is me. See you guys around."
She heads left while they go right - she has Divination now and they have the period free which means retreating to the Ravenclaw common room where they won't risk running into the Carrows or any snitching Slytherins. They walk silently, and Minki takes note of the fact that despite his bravado in the classroom Terry is stiff beside him in a way that clearly indicates he's trying to not tremble.
It's a tension most of the DA has experienced at some point, even Minki, so it's easy to recognize.
"You sure you don't want to?" He suggests lowly, not specifying but knowing that Terry will understand the offer.
Terry shakes his head. "I'm not running. And I'm not missing class." He adds with a crooked grin. "I know I talk a lot but I do actually know when to reign it in as well - Carrow will kick me around some tomorrow but I'll be back in the dorms no problem. He'll want to prove that he's not a coward, so he probably won't use magic at all. Show me that he's better than I am in every aspect and all that junk."
Minki blinks. "Sometimes I forget that you're actually smart under all your stupidity." He comments, and Terry laughs, the tension bleeding out of him somewhat.
"Yeah, well, would've been smarter to just hold it three more minutes like Parv said, but whatever." He shrugs.
They end up skipping Charms - Terry sends a Patronus to Parvati to explain the situation to her, and they both doubt she'll be disappointed to get a one-on-one session with Professor Flitwick (though they'll probably get and earful from their Head of House later on) - and just hang out in their room talking.
"Do you ever regret joining up with us?" Terry asks rather randomly halfway through a debate about the ethics of House Elf labor. "Like, I know we were pretty pushy back in February, we just really needed someone who wasn't Gabe helping with the plans."
Minki shrugs, deciding to just roll with the topic change. "I mean, I guess not? I didn't even want to come to school this year though, so take that how you will."
Terry snorts. "Oh please, even if that was true you don't regret coming to school." He says confidently. "You wouldn't have finally made friends with all of us. Or Padma." He waggles his eyebrows exaggeratedly and Minki grabs his wand in order to magically push the other boy off the bad.
Terry laughs from the floor. "You know I'm right!" He says as he climbs back onto his matress. "But seriously, do you regret joining the DA?"
Minki actually stops to think about it this time. He isn't sure why Terry is asking now of all times, months after everything, but it's clear something is bothering the other boy and it's linked to this. Minki figures giving an honest answer is the right thing to do.
Plus, though he wouldn't say it, Terry isn't wrong. Despite the rocky start he has become friends with his roommates and Padma this year, and he's more glad for it than he expected he would be. He's definitely glad to have gotten to know Padma.
"I... guess I don't." He finally decides. "I wouldn't have expected it, or done this willingly in other circumstances, but I can't say I'm upset about that particular aspect of this school year."
Terry grins. "Cool. It's just, I was always a third wheel to Anthony and Michael. They're awesome, but they're each others' best friend first and foremost. I kind of feel like you're my best friend but I wouldn't want that to be on false pretenses."
Minki blinks, honestly unsure of how to respond to that. Sure he's noticed that he usually spends more time with Terry than the other two boys, and certainly likes him more, but he spends the most time with Padma so he hasn't really considered his and Terry's relationship to be anything special.
Obviously Terry feels differently, if his abrupt (but admittedly in character) declaration is anything to go by.
Terry huffs out a laugh and Minki realizes he's probably been silent for too long. "It's fine if you don't feel the same, I just wanted to tell you is all."
Minki just shrugs and they fall back into their previous conversation. However, Terry's words do linger in his mind, and when the other boy has to go to double potions, leaving Minki alone in their room, he lets them come to the forefront of his thoughts and rolls them over, examining every angle in and out of context.
He's already recognized that among the other boys he does spend the most time talking with Terry. Even before becoming friends - which, he supposes, they are at this point - he'd considered Terry the one he could most easily hold a conversation with. Does that make them best friends though? Minki doesn't really know.
He's had friends of course, he gets along with most of the people at his dance school, but he doesn't think he's ever actually had a best friend, so he isn't sure what the criteria for such a thing would be. He mulls over it for a while and is increasingly frustrated that every path his mind starts down slams into a wall. Emotions have always been messy but usually he can deal with them since usually they're tangential and mostly ignorable. This though? This is all emotion, and Minki is out of his depth and very uncomfortable.
He eventually stops thinking about it and instead grabs some dance clothes and stuffs them into his bag alongside his Muggle Studies notes. He can't use the Room to practice anymore, but he still has his old cleared-out classroom and he thinks some mindless moving will help clear up the headache he's suddenly developing.
He heads to Muggle Studies early because he has nothing else to do and because he knows Ernie Macmillan and Logan Griffith will be there early as well. Perhaps their bland small talk with also help ease his migraine.
He runs into Hannah Abbott on the staircase, which is odd considering both the Hufflepuff common room and the library are on the floor below the Muggle Studies classroom, so he isn't quite sure where she's arriving from. He doesn't ask though, as she's blushing and that almost certainly means emotions are involved. He's had enough of those today.
"Last class of the day?" He asks her politely as they walk down together, and she smiles, the flush in her cheeks receding slightly.
"Oh, yes. You as well, correct? I think only fifth and sixth years have classes past four in the afternoon." She answers just as politely (always politely, Hannah Abbott is about as Hufflepuff as one can get).
Minki nods and they continue the walk in silence, though it's comfortable in the way that it's always comfortable around Hannah. There's an openness and genuineness to the young blonde beside him that made her one of the first people in the DA he really felt comfortable around (other than Padma and, reluctantly, his roommates). It's also, he suspects, the reason she's never really gotten in trouble despite being a very active supporter of the DA's activities.
They arrive at the classroom a few minutes later, and as expected Ernie and Logan are already there and debating something hotly. Minki at one point would have been interested in the argument, but he's long learned that Ernest Macmillan is never involved in intellectual pursuits. He's a good person, certainly, but not the brightest. Logan shows more promise save the fact he always lowers himself to Ernie's level when they argue.
"Good afternoon you two." Hannah interrupts them cheerfully, and both boys immediately seem to forget what they'd just been doing. "Susan and Wayne say hello as well, Logan." She gives the boy a bright smile and just like that the fight is over.
Ernie shakes his head with a grin, leaning back against the wall right next to the door of the Muggle Studies room. "How you manage to sneak off to the room in the middle of the day will forever confound me." He compliments her lightly, and Minki realizes that Hannah must have been coming from the Room of Requirement when he'd run into her on the stairs.
"Is that safe? What if you were seen?" He asks, and she smiles.
"The Carrows both have class now and Snape never comes out of his office. I just have to keep a lookout for Slytherins is all, and that isn't so hard. The bad ones trounce about like drunken trolls these days, high on their own delusional beliefs of their own importance."
Ernie snorts and Logan grins. Minki keeps his own expression neutral but he finds the observation equal parts amusing and accurate.
The door next to Ernie swings open then, nearly hitting him in the face though his DA training has apparently honed his reflexes enough that he's able to dart out of the way just in time to avoid a broken nose.
The young Gryffindor on the other side has the decency to look apologetic, though he also doesn't slow down as he continues to bolt down the corridor and away from Alecto Carrow.
Ernie sighs. "Oh good, she's in a mood." He groans as the four of them wait for the rest of the twitchy Gryffindors (and the slightly calmer Slytherins) to file out before heading in themselves. Terry bounds into class about a minute later, panting from having to sprint from the dungeons, and collapses into the seat beside Minki.
"So good of you to join us Mr. Boot." Alecto Carrow sneers, as if Terry isn't still two minutes early despite the massive distance he had to cover.
"Wouldn't miss it for the world." Terry snipes back, despite his continued panting and the glare Minki sends him.
Alecto sneers again (really, her face rarely does anything else) and then begins the lesson. It's the usual drivel about how evil and stupid Muggles are, and Terry snorts when Ernie Macmillan lifts his parchment so they can see that he's written 'Muggles = Deatheaters?' though thankfully Alecto is too caught up in her own crap to notice.
Minki mainly just tunes out, as usual, going back to his earlier choreography concepts, though he does keep one ear on Alecto's ranting - unlike her brother she's prone to asking questions and calling on people at random when, inevitably in their class, no one wants to answer.
Today she ends up too caught up in her own raving to even think of any questions to ask, and she looks almost insulted when the period ends and the group rapidly packs up and heads out.
"That wasn't so bad." Hannah says once they're out of earshot. "I mean, no worse than usual. At least nobody got a detention."
"I have one, but that's from earlier." Terry says with entirely too much pride, and Ernie smacks him upside the head for it.
"We're supposed to lie low Terry." The Hufflepuff scolds him. "Getting detention isn't lying low."
Terry rubs the back of his head petulantly. "Yeah yeah I know, already got an earful from Parv and this guy." He waves his elbow in Minki's directly, nearly smacking Logan with it in the process, "So I'm good on the scolding."
Ernie just sighs. As the only unofficial 'leader' of the DA still traversing the school he's gotten particularly fussy with all of them, constantly reminding them to lay low and fixing them with disappointed stares and lectures when they fail to do so. Terry has complained a few times but Minki thinks he gets where Ernie is coming from - even if he is kind of annoying in his execution.
He and Terry split from the group when the Hufflepuffs head down to the dungeons (and presumably their common room).
"So you going to dance now?" Terry asks, the unspoken 'and is it okay if I come?' sounding clearly between them.
Minki ponders the second question for a bit before he nods. "Yeah, I don't want to get rusty. You can watch if you want."
Terry grins. "I'll supply the music!"
It's comfortable, honestly. Minki does his stretches while Terry channel surfs for decent music, and then he works on assignments while Minki dances.
About twenty minutes in Terry lowers the volume of the music, and Minki pauses his movements since he knows that means Terry has a question.
"Do you mind if I do some spellwork? Essays are great but I kind of want to do some Charms review." He asks, and Minki nods.
"Sure, no problem. Just don't hit me."
Terry grins and turns the music back up and they resume what they'd been doing before. It's about two hours later that a silver crow begins flapping around his head, cawing obnoxiously and drawing his attention back to Terry, who looks both amused and apologetic.
"I just wanted to make sure I could still create a corporeal one!" He says with a grin. "I didn't know she'd like you so much."
"Just unsummon it Terry." Minki says with a sigh, batting at his roommate's patronus ineffectually.
Terry shrugs and does so. "Seriously, sorry. I'll stick to quiet ones, I know Pat gets obnoxious."
Minki hums, ignoring the fact that Terry has apparently and illogically given his Patronus a name. "I think I'm just about finished anyway."
Terry perks up at that and immediately turns off the music. "Maybe you could work on your Patronus too! You haven't been able to make a corporeal one yet after all. I can help!"
Minki gives him an unamused look. "I can figure it out on my own. You go back to your charms." He says flatly, and Terry laughs.
"Yeah yeah, you can do things all by yourself. Still, feel free to ask if you want some pointers!" Terry offers cheerfully, and Minki rolls his eyes as he pulls out his wand. He's gotten plenty of pointers from Padma in the past - at this point it's just a matter of finding the right 'happy memory' to use.
He does want to make a Patronus though, and though he wouldn't admit it to Terry he's rather frustrated that despite months of practice with the DA he can still only create silvery wisps.
He's tried pretty much every happy memory he has - every dance recital from his first to his best, the first time his original choreography was used in a performance, his first win at a dance competition - but so far nothing has worked. The closest he got was a brief flicker of form when he thought about the time he'd helped teach one of the younger classes and a girl who had been struggling finally got the hang of the move they were teaching. But even that one hadn't been enough, and he doesn't have any other memories of teaching to use.
He retries a few memories now, but still only gets silver wisps. Terry glances over but says nothing and keeps working on his Shoving charm. Minki presses his lips together in irritation and lets his mind run wild.
The memory that worked best involved my student succeeding, and dance. I've already used all my happiest dance memories and none of them have worked. The Patronus is a protective spell - is there a link there? - and only the happiest memories can summon in but most people struggle to ever find a memory happy enough to successfully create a corporeal Patronus.
These are all facts he already knows, but he lets them float through his mind, swirling and connecting with each other in a variety of combinations. There's an angle here that he just hasn't seen yet is all - he and Padma have debated it and agree that simply being happy likely isn't enough - there's something else that hasn't been discovered yet, at least not by anyone who then put it to paper.
His mind continues swirling until something suddenly clicks, and he sits up fast enough that Terry jumps in surprise.
"What's your memory?" He asks the other boy. "For your Patronus, what memory do you use?" He already knows Padma's - she thinks about the Yule Ball in fourth year when she and Parvati had ditched their dates and danced with each other until their shoes wore through - and if the theory he'd just surmised is correct he has an idea of what Terry's might be.
His roommate tilts his head curiously but answers easily enough. "I've got a couple actually, but the first one that succeeded was remembering when my brother introduced his partner to me and our parents. It was a huge deal, you know? He was really scared we'd hate him but he's still my brother, and I just want him to be happy."
Minki only half-listens to the second half of Terry's chattering, too focused on sifting through his own thoughts. "It's not jut past happiness." He says out loud when he realizes Terry is staring at him oddly. "The memory - it's not just a past happiness it's something that can continue into the future. A thought of why you want to keep living, as it were. You have your family and making more memories with them, Padma has her sister and future dances they can have. My dancing was always in the past, a concrete point in time. I have to go broader."
Terry raises an eyebrow. "Sounds solid." He acknowledges. "So just like, dancing in the future then?"
Minki frowns. He of course has the vague hope to be recruited into a dance company once he's graduated, but there's no guarantee that will happen. Maybe dancing for his mother? But no, that doesn't have the same shine it used to and likely won't be quite strong enough.
He looks over at Terry, who's swinging his legs over the side of the desk and watching him curiously and it suddenly hits him.
"Expecto Patronum!"
A large silver shape bursts from the end of his wand, and Terry jumps back to avoid being smacked by one of the flailing tentacles. "Holy dude! Is that an octopus?"
Minki grins broadly as his Patronus begins feeling around the room, clearly seeking the danger it was called to repel. Minki quickly unsummons it, still beaming.
"Obviously you're on to something there. What memory did you use?" Terry asks.
Minki just shakes his head. "That's my business." He says simply, and Terry whines but doesn't push.
Minki can only imagine the teasing he'd get if Terry knew that the memory that had finally worked had bee the first time the Ravenclaws had come to watch him dance. Though perhaps he'll tell Terry soon that apparently he is Minki's best friend.
For now Minki just enjoys his roommate's shock and awe as they get ready to go to dinner.
Author's Note: More specifically, Minki's memory is about getting to share his love of dancing with people he cares about, and the Ravenclaws are proof that he'll meet more people in the future who will fit that category. Anyway, this is officially the end of April - and I think we all know what comes next.
Next Time: Talking doesn't mean much when action becomes involved
So I'm thinking I might do a final 'afterwords' chapter to share my thoughts and feelings on writing this story, if that's something people would be interested in? I'm also open to answering any lingering questions people might have there as well!
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