Chapter Nine
Confronting the Faceless 💀 CompleteOctober 29, 1997
"I was left to learn to live with my guilt"
Audrey Blishwick has always arrived at work early. Even when she was eighteen and only just starting with the Ministry, in a position she knows she got thanks to her Aunt Alma's relationship with Audrey's boss Pius Thicknesse, Audrey always arrived fifteen minutes early with two steaming cups of coffee. One for herself, and one for her boss, who she felt deserved a pick-me-up to fortify him against the chaos of their days.
That routine only changed for a few weeks back in August, when the Ministry fell and Audrey was reassigned to a new boss. And Madame Umbridge could get her own damned coffee as far as Audrey was concerned. So while she had still arrived fifteen minutes before nine in those first two weeks, she was only carrying one cup of coffee.
Then one morning she showed up with two again. It caused some stir among her coworkers, particularly when she bypassed Umbridge's office and moved directly towards the Minister for Magic's instead.
But she stopped just short of the large wooden door. As much as she misses Thicknesse, she knows she can't barge into her former boss's office without drawing quite a bit of unwanted attention from the new people in charge. So instead she holds out the second cup to the young man sitting at the secretarial desk just in front of the Minister's door.
The way she sees it, if she can't check in on Thicknesse in person, she can try to collect information on him from the next best source: his Junior Assistant Percy Weasley.
Some people might call her insane for being so attached to her former boss, but Audrey has been with him as his personal secretary for four years and she can say with certainty that he's the greatest boss anyone could ask for. Not to mention Audrey might be feeling just a little guilty-by-association over this whole Ministry takeover since she'd noticed Thicknesse acting strangely months ago and hadn't told anybody about it. Now Scrimgeour is dead (well, 'retired' but everyone knows what that means these days), the Dark Lord's crazy minions are running the show, and her former boss is trapped under an Imperius and being used to commit atrocities that Audrey refuses to fully let herself think about lest she never again have good night's sleep.
So instead she keeps tabs on her former boss by chatting up his secretary every morning.
Percy looks like he's about ready to pass out when Audrey walks up to him on this particular morning and she can't help commenting.
"Did you stay here all night again Percy?" She prods, holding out his coffee since there doesn't seem to be a safe place to set it down on his desk.
He startles, glances up at her, and then hurriedly moves some things out of the way so she can put the cup down. "Eight forty five already?" He asks, and his voice sounds as weary as he looks. "I suppose I did then." He admits a moment later, after downing half the coffee in one shot. "Got a lead on a case I've been assisting A.D.A. Avery with. Er, that's Sahana Avery, the top prosecutor for the Wizengamot." He adds at Audrey's raised eyebrow.
"Sounds like it was at least a productive loss of sleep." She comments, plastering on her usual half-smile when she sees some of their coworkers eyeing them. She knows what they whisper, that she's up, she can't stand that she's not the boss's favorite pet anymore. Whatever, let them talk, Audrey could care less what they think of her.
"Hmm." Percy doesn't sound fully convinced. "It'll keep Yaxley and some of the Snatchers busy at least." He mumbles, mostly to himself, and Audrey doesn't push the issue. She isn't here to hear about Yaxley or any of the department Heads - she wants to know about Thicknesse.
"So how's the Minister doing?" She asks lightly, as if changing the topic. She knows Percy has probably picked up on why she talks to him - he isn't stupid, she's realized that much talking to him the past few weeks - but he humors her regardless.
"Same as ever, quite busy. There was a prisoner transfer interrupted a few days ago so we're reworking the system again." He sounds slightly annoyed at that and this time Audrey's slight smile in response is a bit more genuine. She knows how much work Percy had put into the other 'new system' and how frustrated he gets when his work is overwritten, and though she's barely ready to admit it to herself it's cute how passionate he gets about his personal projects.
"If there was a mishap I doubt it was the system's fault." She tells him lightly, and he finally glances up from his work to give her a tired grin.
"I appreciate your saying so. Anyway, not to rush you off, I really do enjoy our morning chats, but I have to get a search warrant signed in the next fifteen minutes if I don't want half the Law Enforcement Department hounding me for the next several hours."
Audrey hums. "Can I ask what for?" She inquires. She always ends their conversations with something about Percy, just so she can keep coming to see him every morning. Not because she's actually interested, of course.
"Apartment of Saundra Caldwell, there was some suspicious financing in her last tax report. It's probably nothing but Yaxley is very intense about this whole-" He cuts himself off and Audrey realizes she's started glaring. "Um, anyway, I'll see you tomorrow?" He asks, his voice suddenly a bit softer than it had been a moment before.
Audrey blinks, and then quickly fixes her expression. "Yes, of course. I'll let you work. Good morning Mr. Weasley."
He nods uncertainly in return and she quickly walks away before she can say anything else.
Saundra Caldwell. It's been some time since she's heard that name, but it's not one she'll ever forget - after all, you don't room with someone for seven years and not have their name ingrained into your very soul. Especially not when that someone turned your entire common room - and half of your Housemates as well - bright pink within the first month of first year.
She and Saundra hadn't ever been particularly close - Saundra's best friend had been a Ravenclaw so she spent more time outside their room than in it - but that doesn't stop Audrey from feeling like something inside her was just punched hard. If Saundra's name has come up in connection to something that will keep Yaxley and the Snatchers busy it doesn't matter if she's innocent or not, she's going to be interrogated, and it's not going to be pleasant.
Audrey of course knows what the Ministry has been up to. Not in any detail - she may run files around the building at the whims of Umbridge but she doesn't ever read those files - but she knows enough that if she lets herself think about it she feels rather ill. Now those vague horrors will be happening to someone she actually knows, and it forces the issue unpleasantly out of its mental box and into the front of her mind.
She knows that Percy must know as well - heck, he actually does read some of those files she runs around the building, he would have to know more than her - and she can't understand how he's this calm about putting someone directly into the twisted hands of the current regime.
She gets, of course, that people aren't always good. Heck, she would probably argue that a lot of people aren't. She travels the halls and sees first hand how many people are happy to duck their faces down and blind themselves to their own involvement in the atrocities the administration is committing. She knows it's something she herself has done time and time again as she carries files handed off to her to their destinations without question.
How many death sentences has she handed over? How many files on innocent Muggleborns that are then used to unfairly incarcerate them? She doesn't know, but she knows there must have been some in the hundreds of deliveries she's made in the past three months. So Audrey doesn't consider herself a very good person either.
But Percy... maybe she's just mistaken naivety for something more genuine. In their short morning interactions Percy has always given off the air that he's smart, and more importantly that he honestly cares about the work they do. Somewhere in the past months Audrey apparently had come to expect something better from him, and his comments today are a cold drop back into reality that she's not particularly pleased about getting. But, she supposes it's her own fault for letting herself engage with that sort of foolish optimism.
She moves through her morning robotically, for once thankful for the rush of deliveries shoved at her by her awful new superior that keep her well away from the Minister's office. It's easier to get lost in the mindless rhythm of her new job than to let her thoughts linger too much on what Percy had said this morning.
She has to return briefly to the second level to inform Madame Umbridge (Um Audrey likes to call the toad in her head) that she'll be taking her lunch hour but luckily Percy isn't in the room when she walks in.
"Yes yes, excellent dear." Umbridge hems, slightly distracted. "I'll need you back by one to scribe for this afternoon's trial. This morning's warrant proved very effective indeed."
Audrey frowns - she rarely takes notes at the Muggleborn trials and she's hated it the two times she's been pulled in, but she can't exactly say no so she agrees and makes her escape as quickly as possible.
It isn't until she's halfway to her usual lunch spot that she realizes exactly who the trial must be for, and subsequently resigning herself to the fact that this particular lunch isn't going to be the escape from her daily life that it normally is. But it's too late now to call off - she knows her lunch partner is probably already at the table waiting for her, and Audrey was raised to never stand people up. It's rude.
So she strides into their usual café and barely hesitates before walking over and taking her usual seat. "Afternoon Lucas." She greets with a half-smile.
Lucas Elstewart looks up, a bit startled, clearly not having heard her approach. He quickly folds up the paper he'd been reading and shoves it haphazardly into his robes before returning the smile with an awkward one of his own. "Hi Audrey! Sorry, I didn't even see you come in."
"Clearly." She drawls. "Busy day at work?"
Lucas is two years younger than Audrey and works over at St. Mungo's as a general practitioner, though he's recently begun taking night courses to get his trauma certification for reasons Audrey hasn't asked after (she knows Mungo's is getting a lot more trauma patients now than they had before this war started raging closer to the surface, knows they're understaffed. Knows that Lucas is barely more than a Muggleborn and he's trying to keep himself useful to keep the attention off himself and his mother). They had met only a month earlier when the awkward young man had been lurking nervously outside the lift on the second floor and Audrey had dragged him away before Umbridge or the Deatheaters could get too suspicious.
She'd been ready to tell him to scram when he blurted that he was friends with Percy and just wanted to check in with him. That was enough to get Audrey to take him out to lunch, hoping he might have some useful tidbits on the Junior Undersecretary that would help her quest to keep tabs on Thicknesse. From there they've somehow managed to develop an actual solid acquaintanceship and have been getting lunch together two or three times each week to catch up and for Audrey to keep Lucas filled in about Percy.
Lucas hums noncommittally at her question, which means he probably spent his morning treating Snatchers and having to listen to rants against Muggleborns and doesn't want to talk about it. Which is unfortunate since that means Audrey has to talk, and she doesn't particularly want to share either.
So she just hums as well and waves down the waitress. They order their usual meals and then sit in silence for a few minutes. Audrey takes the time to collect her thoughts and determine what to say to Lucas.
"I'm scribing at one of the trials today." She finally settles on. She knows Lucas would be content to stay quiet for the entire meal if Audrey didn't say anything, but that fact alone makes her feel rather guilty. He's come all this way - Mungo's is much further than the Ministry building - so the least she can do is give him some information. "So I'm not in a great mood. Percy didn't sleep last night, he was finishing a case."
Lucas smiles faintly. "He really needs to schedule in his sleep." He says quietly. "He used to pull all-nighters in school too. I patrolled by myself once after forcing him to go take a nap instead."
Audrey snorts and then quickly covers her face (she hates her laugh). It's good information though, she can use it to get Percy talking. That's why she has these lunches after all.
She changes the subject then, asking after his mother and his friend who also works at Mungo's, hoping for a story that can fill up more time and delay her having to tell Lucas that Percy is stringing her old roommate out to dry. Delay having to think about it herself.
Luckily his mother apparently had a very interesting older customer come into their family bookstore, and the tale lasts past their meals arriving. They're just about ready to pay when Lucas uncertainly pushes her for more information.
He wouldn't be upset if she didn't give it, but she'll feel guilty for the entire day if she doesn't. So she sighs and tells herself to it up.
"The trial I'm working after this, it's for one of my old roommates. Percy caught something in her finances and now she's being dragged in on suspicion of something against the Ministry, I wasn't clear on what." Percy hadn't told her, now that she thinks about it. She wonders if he knows the entire story or if he's just sifting through paperwork. She then wonders if she's looking for a way to get him off the hook.
Lucas frowns. "Oh, I... I'm sorry to hear that." He says after a long moment of him awkwardly trying to come up with a response.
"Me too." Audrey replies. "I've got the bill today. See you Friday?"
He just nods and then heads out. They trade off on paying for the most part, but sometimes if one of them really doesn't want to head back to work they'll pick up the tab just to waste a bit more time. Lucas will make a point to pay back the next two meals to cover for her paying today.
Audrey gets back to the Ministry just before one and is immediately grabbed by Umbridge and steered right back towards the lifts.
"Taking full advantage of the lunch hour Ms. Blishwick?" She tuts. "Well I hope you're energized to take notes now, this is a very important trial!"
Audrey gives her boss a flat smile as a response but as the woman probably has no idea what actual happiness or respect look like she doesn't notice how phony it is. She just keeps her tight grip on Audrey's forearm and drags her secretary down to the courtrooms.
Audrey wouldn't admit it aloud but Umbridge is scary strong for a tiny toad of a woman - it's part of why Audrey isn't more open in her disdain for the woman. That and not wanting to get her own first-hand experience of what prison life is like.
She doesn't put up a fight as she's tugged along, more focused on keeping her balance. For once she's glad for her diminutive height - she's around the same size as Umbridge so her center of gravity isn't being too badly muddled by the woman's dragging. Audrey has seen grown men nearly face plant trying to keep up with the pink-clad witch when she has a grip on their arm.
The courtroom is freezing, which is unusual. While the lower levels have never been very well insulated Audrey has never been able to see her breathe before.
"I'd cast a Patronus if you can dear." Umbridge smiles sickeningly as she finally releases Audrey's arm. The woman's cat Patronus manifests a few moments later, and it hops up onto it's caster's shoulders as Umbridge makes her way up to the judge's seat.
Audrey can't help but keep close to her boss as she follows the other and takes the scribe's position next to the judge's stand - the cat is somehow making the air near the pink woman warmer and Audrey is very quickly losing feeling in her fingers.
They aren't the first ones in the courtroom - that honor goes to Corban Yaxley and a few others Audrey doesn't recognize (probably Snatchers, her brain supplies) all of whom look rather chilled.
Then the door bursts open again and Percy strides through, awkwardly shifting an armful of files to one side so he can grab his wand. A moment later a small silvery fox is taking a lap around the room, which begins warming up almost immediately. Audrey relaxes slightly more into her chair as the temperature rises.
"Good afternoon Madame Umbridge, Ms. Blishwick." He tilts his head in greeting to Audrey, who nods stiffly back. Percy quickly turns back to Umbridge and presents the stack in his arms. "These are the relevant files to the Caldwell case, to be given to Prosecutor Avery when she arrives. I've already agreed to testify to them if so required."
"Very good Mr. Weasley, the Ministry as always would be worse off without your dedication and thoroughness." Umbridge preens, her words dripping sickly-sweet from her lips and Audrey cringes internally even as Percy smiles almost shyly.
"The Ministry requires every person to run smoothly Madame Umbridge, I am merely doing my part." He deflects politely.
Audrey doesn't roll her eyes but goodness does she want to. Her and Percy have spoken about Umbridge before, she knows he thinks the woman is a complete brown-noser, but here he is being an utter hypocrite. How did she think he was cute again?
Because he is. Her brain supplies helpfully. She politely informs it to shut up as she goes about setting up her parchment, ink, and quills, her eyes firmly glued to her desk so she can pretend she's anywhere else for a few minutes longer.
Then those minutes are up and a far-too-familiar woman is dragged into the courtroom and tossed into the accused's chair like so much garbage.
Saundra Caldwell hasn't changed much in the five years it's been since Audrey last saw her. Same reddish-auburn hair, same storm grey eyes, same look on her face that suggests her brain is running a thousand miles a minute. They had never been close, Audrey reminds herself, even as her ribcage makes a valiant attempt to compress around her lungs. They had never really been friends, even if Saundra was technically the first person Audrey really spoke to at Hogwarts.
"Hiya! I'm Saundra, I guess we're gonna be roomies!"
Audrey looks over at the bouncing eleven-year-old sitting on the bed next to hers with a slight frown. Really, the hat couldn't fit her anywhere else? Seven whole minutes of agony on that stool and she's stuck in we'll-take-anyone Hufflepuff. And based on her new companion, it's going to be a long seven years.
But Audrey isn't rude. "Audrey Blishwick. I guess so." She replies shortly, hoping she sounds tired enough that Saundra will let it go.
The other girl is unfortunately oblivious. "Oh hey, that's my little sister's name too! I'll definitely remember it then, I'm awful at names. And faces. But I'll get there!" She assures the other girls unpacking around them. Audrey lets the group blabber on as she unpacks, hoping that will be the last interaction she'll have to have with her roommates for a while.
Audrey spent the next several years getting stuck dealing with the fallout of Saundra's endless magical experimentations, from being turned pink to getting rained on every time she entered their dorm room for a solid week. Still, despite her exasperation at the time, seeing her old Hogwarts acquaintance being dwarfed by the guards securing her to the accused's chair doesn't sit well.
Sahana Avery arrives soon after Saundra and the trial begins. Audrey had expected the same nonsense she's heard in the Muggleborn trials - half-assed "proof" that's never questioned and a decision being handed out without a proper defense being made.
She realizes very quickly that this trial is going to be different.
For one thing, the Wizengamot is actually present for the hearing. For another, Prosecutor Avery gives a formal opening statement, which allows Audrey to finally figure out exactly what Saundra is being accused of.
"Witches and wizards of the court, you have been gathered today to bear witness to the trial of one Saundra Caldwell. This young half-blood stands before you accused of multiple counts of treason against the Ministry and the safety of our world overall. Ms. Caldwell, for over a month now, has destroyed private Ministry records and forged illegal replacements all in pursuit of aiding and abetting fugitives of the law. Today we intend to unveil her schemes and bring her criminal activities to a stop in order to maintain the peace and well-being of our society."
Audrey frowns as she hurriedly writes the speech out. Obviously Saundra has been helping Muggleborns, and really Audrey isn't surprised. Saundra is the poster child for Hufflepuff values, always has been. Helping unfairly incarcerated innocents is right up her alley.
But now she's been caught, the idiot. Audrey sighs as Avery calls for the first piece of evidence.
If the situation wasn't so disgusting Audrey might actually be impressed by the detective work done to discover Saundra's plan. Avery and Percy (who ends up being a key witness) had been thorough in their search. They bring forward multiple files detailing unpatented spells that allow documents to be altered without direct contact, reveal several visits by Saundra to her roommate down in Records that correlate dangerously close to known instances of sabotage, and submit several financial inconsistencies that overlap with Muggleborns failing to show up at their trials. By the time two hours have passed and the final bit of evidence is being brought forward, it's clear that Saundra was doing exactly what she's been accused of.
It's impressive really, and done exactly the way Audrey would have expected from someone who's always loved trying to create new spells. If only Saundra hadn't written them down, she might've even gotten away with it. The visits can be explained by her roommate's presence and the finance department has never been particularly sensational. But the spell patents are harder to explain away.
The last exhibit is Saundra's wand, which had been confiscated during her arrest as is standard procedure. Avery doesn't say anything beyond introducing the evidence, simply takes out her own wand and deftly casts a Priori Incantatem onto the familiar Walnut wand.
The last spell cast had been one of the forgery spells presented earlier. Nail in the coffin.
Audrey has to take a few breaths to steady her hand enough to take down Avery's closing statement. Part of her knows what's coming next - treason is a high crime in any court system, and the chill from earlier (still held at bay now by the patrolling fox Patronus) tells Audrey exactly what the punishment will be.
She doesn't want to see it, but she knows she'll likely have to, and she almost instinctively looks over at Percy. For what she doesn't know - comfort? He's the one who cracked the case though, he's the reason she's being subjected to this at all.
How messed up does it make her that she'll probably still bring him coffee in the morning?
The verdict takes all of five minutes to reach, and of course it's a guilty one. Audrey knew it would be, but that doesn't stop her hand from trembling minutely as she scratches the declaration into the court record.
We were never friends. She reminds herself for the umpteenth time. It helps exactly as much as the past billion reminders have.
Umbridge hems smugly at the convicted defendant, and Audrey risks her first glance at Saundra since the young woman was brought into the room. She's still magically handcuffed to the defendant's chair, and her eyes are still betraying a whirling mind behind them. She seems oddly calm for someone just convicted of treason and facing a fate worse than death.
"Mr. Weasley, if you would banish that little mutt of yours I believe it's time for the sentencing." Umbridge declares.
Audrey can't help looking over at Percy, who's frowning at the request even as he complies and unsummons the Patronus (why is he frowning, did he not realize what he was doing? He's not stupid, he had to have known where this was headed). Immediately the room drops several degrees and Audrey shudders instinctively.
Umbridge doesn't seem bothered, though her own cat Patronus is seated comfortably right next to her so she's probably got her own heat source from that.
"Now then, considering the utter atrocities this woman has engaged with, I see only one suitable punishment." The pink-clad witch simpers. "And so I hereby sentence Ms. Saundra Caldwell to receive the Dementor's Kiss, to be effective immediately."
Audrey fails to write down the declaration - her entire body has frozen even as her heart begins pounding a mile a minute. She'd known damnit. She'd known, but apparently knowing doesn't always mean believing because it's only fully hitting her now. She's about to watch her former dormmate have her soul out by a Dementor and she can't do anything without getting herself the same fate.
She doesn't realize she's stopped breathing until her lungs shriek at her over it and she nearly chokes on her next breath. Quickly she scratches out Umbridge's sentencing and hopes she didn't miss anything while she had been spaced out.
Saundra is still in the accused's chair, but she's relaxed back into it now, and for the first time in the decade Audrey has known her her brain doesn't seem to be firing on all cylinders. She just looks... tired.
Audrey really doesn't want to watch this.
By some miracle she's allowed to leave before they bring in the Dementor - Umbridge says something about her being "useful" and not wanting her to "get caught up in such dreadfulness." Audrey just nods and hands over her notes before excusing herself.
Percy follows her out.
"I didn't realize at first but you know her, don't you?" He says quietly.
Audrey clears a few times. "We roomed together, we were never close." She replies, tone definitely clipped.
Percy glances at his feet. "I... I didn't think anything would turn up. I thought..." He looks at a loss for what to say, and Audrey feels a bit of her anger softening. Obviously he's still human under everything, and he's as shaken by this as her.
"You were doing your job. It's what we're all doing." She offers quietly. "I'll see you tomorrow Percy."
She leaves him outside the courtrooms and moves back into the warmer sections of the Ministry, keeping her pace brisk and forcing herself to think about what she needs to accomplish before the end of the work day. She finds it's easier to contemplate the horrors she might be inflicting on innocent strangers over the horror definitely being inflicted on someone she knows.
She's never claimed to be a good person after all. So she buries herself in her work for the hour she has left and pretends that it helps.
She stops by Percy's desk that evening before heading out, almost despite herself.
"Everything go... well, after I left?" She asks, keeping her tone carefully neutral.
Percy doesn't meet her eyes, though he does pause in his work and tilts his head towards her. "Indeed. We're following up on some leads but it appears that Ms. Caldwell was working alone. Her roommate will of course be kept under tight surveillance for the time being but this whole mess is hopefully behind us now."
She hums. "Good to know. Make sure to go home tonight Perce, you'll start hallucinating if you miss any more sleep."
He does look at her properly at that, a slight smile on his face. "I'll keep that in mind. Good evening Audrey."
She nods and heads out after returning the sentiment. Damn Percy and his stupid face and his stupid obvious unhappiness with how the trial had ended.
Damn him for reminding her constantly that it would be hypocritical to judge others for doing their jobs when she's probably hurt just as many people doing the same thing.
She opts to just Apparate home instead of walking, despite the relative short distance and the insultingly nice weather they're having despite November being mere days away. She doesn't much feel like enjoying anything at the moment.
Her apartment is empty, and she resists the urge to go visit her Aunt Alma - she knows what her aunt will say and frankly she'd rather be alone with her confused, twisting emotions. No need to get anyone else involved - if Audrey is one thing it's competently independent and one rough day won't change that.
It still takes a long time to fall asleep that night.
Author's Note: SKHDLAHDSFKLAHSDGLKA. I'm back, and I'm SO MAD THIS WAS THE CHAPTER THAT GOT SMACKED BY MY DUMB GETTING CONCUSSED. With this chapter we finish October as well as the last of the major set up (this whole story intertwines on itself so technically everything is setting up something else but THIS WAS THE BIG THING WE HAD LEFT). From here it's a lot more raw action and emotion, so that'll be fun!
Next Week: ...recalibrating...
So I'm thinking I might do a final 'afterwords' chapter to share my thoughts and feelings on writing this story, if that's something people would be interested in? I'm also open to answering any lingering questions people might have there as well!
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