I like Mir and GO brotherhood most but the leader and maknae is just love <3

The loud cheer from the fans totally hyped MBLAQ up as they performed. And it ended well as all five of them got off the stage. Or maybe to outsiders, it seemed well.

          "You guys did a great job. Sanghyun, how is your hand?"

          "It's fine hyung. I told you it's nothing."

          "Good." Seungho praised once they were at the backstage and smiled to the members of his group but his face pulled taut when his eyes fall on Mir. "And you? Tell me what you did up there?" His voice tense and taunting, it just made Mir bowed his head lower. "Did or didn't I tell you to practice?" Seungho narrowed his eyes. He didn't shout considering there were still other people and other idols around them.

          Mir bit his lower lips, chewing until he felt blood, so that he would stop himself from answering and defending himself because he did! He did practice until he felt he would die. He pushed his limit and keep pushing since he knew he was nothing as talented and as good as the other four. That was at least what he had always thought.

          Mir contained his flinch when his ears caught exasperated sigh from the leader signing how pissed off the leader was despite him not yelling his head off at Mir. But him not raising his voice scared Mir even more. "You kept on messing up, don't you?" Seungho let out another sigh. "You said this is your dream. If it is, you would have at least tried harder at least not to screw up on stage. Just because you have connection and got in this easily, doesn't mean you can take this lightly. We weren't like you. We take this seriously. We will bet our life on it." Seungho's voice laced with anger and disappointment.

          Mir closed his eyes, willing himself not to break down as those hurtful whisper in his trainees days came haunting him again despite he was awake to not hear his nightmare.

          "He got in only because of his brother in law."

          "I know right, he must have been selling his sisters around to get what he wanted."

          "ing rich brat."

          "I wish my life is that easy."

          "He should have go find something else to do instead of coming here and ruin his sister's reputation."

          "Look at him dancing that way. Surely his brother in law had been blinded by his sister."

          "He is going to make people think idols are all untalented."

          "Oh man, look at his stupid move. Ugh! His brother in law must be as stupid as him."

          "-YAH! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?"

          Mir snapped out of his living nightmare, eyes opened widely as he tried calming his thundering heart both in anger and sadness.

          "UGH! I give up." Seungho let out, lifting his hands in mock surrender and he left, purposely hit his shoulder with Mir on his way. "BYUNGHEE! CHANGSUN! SANGHYUN! DON'T COMFORT HIM!"

          Mir still didn't lift his head up but he felt all four had left him behind and he blinked his tears back. The leader might not realized it, but the words were like thousands of stones hitting his weakening heart, adding the spider cracks on his fragile heart made of glass.

          "It's okay, Cheolyong." Mir whispered soothingly to himself. "It's okay. Like Jinwoon said, I just have to try harder. I just have to practice more."

          Pathetic. Your are pathetic, Bang Cheolyong..

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Seungho walked into the practice room, watching silently as Mir danced in front of the mirror without noticing his presence there. He kept watching from the side until he saw Mir collapsed, rushing next to the maknae in a second.

          Letting out a sigh of relief when he was sure Mir was just exhausted, he went off to one corner, fetching a towel and folded it up before slipping it under Mir's head as support.

          Pausing for a while, he stared at Mir's tired face, combing through Mir's tangled brown locks, fixing them slightly. He had noticed Mir practicing intensely. Each and every single day.

          Of course he would.

          Mir was always missing even when the maknae had a free slot in their tight schedule and there was just no other place the maknae would spent the free time other than here. The first time he know about Mir practicing alone, it had been a coincidence when his schedule was cancelled out of sudden and he felt the need to do at least one round of dance practice only to find the maknae already in the practice room, dancing vigurously.

          The first time he witnessed Mir crumbled in exhaustion, he had been stricken by panic, gathering Mir's limp body in his arms with the thought of taking the younger one to the hospital but he had stopped when Mir moved and snuggled into his chest and he realized Mir was sleeping. It was not healthy letting Mir exhausted himself into sleep-or maybe fainted he couldn't tell for sure-indeed but thinking he need not to bring Mir to the hospital. He knew Mir hated anyone seeing him weak, he realized it watching Mir laughing and goofing off in front of camera despite everything that had been going on, so after making sure Mir was okay, he blended into the shadow, watching over Mir from behind. It was kind of routine already.

          Seungho was not oblivious to it.

          But Seungho also not oblivious to the fact, Mir didn't need sympathy. Mir need recognition. Mir need people to see he worked hard for this, harder than anyone and just because he got in easy, didn't mean he had everything laid out for him. He worked his off for what he have now.

          Just like Mir, he wanted the same. He wanted Mir to be perfect so the others would recognized their maknae, would see an amazing person their maknae is and for that, he had to be strict. Not to mention how scared he was if something happen to the maknae. The company kept on using the members to threaten him as the leader. Kept on testing him, pushing him.

          Then there is Rain.

          Then the fans.

          Mir's father...

          Responsibility never felt so crushing before.

          With a sigh, Seungho chased away the thought. He had to protect them whatever it takes.

          Seungho admired Mir for this despite him never really talk about it. But he was there for Mir as much as he could although Mir didn't know it.

          Mir made a soft noise, his tired muscles looked tense. So, Seungho scooted lower until he was at Mir's leg, raising both Mir's legs on his laps and started to slowly massaged Mir's calf, finding a few knots there to release.

          "You're doing good, maknae. You're doing really good." He whispered to the sleeping Mir. His personality won't allow him to be soft to the maknae but he had known for sure he had a large soft spot already reserved for their hardworking one and only maknae. He just... Never showed it.

          He was not born to be a man full of sweet words and soft spoken. No. He knew he had bigger ego than himself especially when it came to younger people. He had a fiery attitude, a personality like a burning fire (which was good for him most of the time but not in Mir's case) and he knew he had a lot of time where he let tiredness got on his nerve and in the end, he explode to the closest person in sight. Not just Mir, he did this to everyone but sometimes he wondered maybe he was being harsher to the maknae. After all, Mir was still just a kid.

          Another sigh.

          He had never apologize in his life. Maybe he needed to, sooner or later for Mir but each time he tried, it didn't really end up pretty. He didn't manage to let those words of apology passed his lips, instead only sharp words flew out of his mouth. He knew he hurt Mir a lot but he really didn't know how to treat Mir.

          Mir was way different than his younger brother. Mir was delicate but strong. He was loving but hateful. He was timid but determined. Mir was complicated. He didn't know how to handle Mir, honestly and in the end, it must have seem like he was pushing Mir away when all he was trying to do was facing this person he never understand. Honestly, he never met someone like Mir in his life.

          Mir was just, unique.

          And despite everything he did, Mir had never leave his side. The young maknae was always there, waiting patiently and treating Seungho with deep respect. Maybe because Mir thought of him as talented while he knew Mir was just as talented as him but he let Mir's little admiration towards him to flatter him. He never act in certain way to show he was happy with Mir around but he did. He was happy to have Mir around. He was happy to have Mir in MBLAQ. He was happy to have Mir as his dongsaeng.

          Nowadays however, he realized painfully, Mir had been rejecting him. Actually, Mir had been distancing himself from every members in their group. Was it his fault?

          He really should resolve things between them sooner. He was the leader after all.

          He sat there, massaging Mir's legs for a few minutes more before deciding it would be just matter of time before Mir would wake up and continued dancing as if he didn't just collapse in exhaustion and he left, but not before leaving a bottle of water next to Mir's head and ruffling Mir's soft locks for one last time.

          Sometimes, he hated himself too but that was just how he was.

          His strong upfront was nothing compared to the strength he saw young Mir possessed.

          He vowed to protect Mir.