When Mir woke up, he was confused for a good long minute, looking around the darkness of the room. The pain over his back had turned into a constant ache but it was bearable.

          He sat up and only then he finally recognized this room as the MBLAQ dorm. But he was not lying on his bed. He was lying on Seungho's bed. And when he squinted to let his eyes get used to the darkness, he saw silhouette of someone lying on his bed on the upper bunk.

          Mir cracked his neck, standing up and tip-toeing out of the room, glad that the light in the living room was on but was not as glad when he saw GO was there, spacing out at the sofa in the living room with a mug in his hand.

          Mir was not ready to face any of his hyungs at this moment.

          Not that he would be ready in the nearest future.

          A soft sigh escaped his lips and alerted GO of his presence. When their eyes met, Mir didn't know what to do and ended up bowing at the older a folder book greeting which nearly caused him to curse at himself.

          Can he be more awkward?

          However, GO's response kind of lightening the atmosphere. The main vocalist softly laughed and patted the space on the sofa next to him.

          With a heavy step, Mir dragged himself and plopped down next to GO.

          "How are you feeling?"

          "Good."

          "Is it still painful?"

          Mir shook his head, his hands instinctively holding his lower waist. "I'm good. How did I get here?"

          "Sanghyun and Seungho brought you back. You passed out for the whole day."

          "Must be the painkillers. She told me it's quite strong."

          GO nodded in understanding. He slumped down on the couch, his hands turning the mug in his hand. It was still full and steaming. From the smell of it, Mir sure it was milk coffee. Even the smell of the coffee itself kind of help Mir cleared his mind.

          "Cheolyong-ah." GO called softly. "What should we do to earn your trust again?"

          "Huh?" Mir frowned.

          "You don't trust us, do you? The way you look at us.. It almost filled with... Hatred."

          Mir scoffed. "Wow. You made it sound like I'm the bad guy here."

          "Then to you, we are the bad guys, aren't we?"

          Mir swallowed. Was it like that for him?

          "What make you think you hate us?"

          "What make I think I hate you?"  Mir repeated back, staring right at GO. "What kind of question is that? Are you asking because you really don't know?"

          "Yes. I don't know. Help me understand." GO straightened up his posture, not backing off from Mir's glare.

          "You-" Mir paused. What did they do to him? "You... Uh... You exclude me. You scold me. You. You. You ignore me." Mir frowned to himself. Was that all? He was sure they did a lot to him. But none came across him right now. He couldn't think.

          "Uh huh. And your family and friends never get into fight with you? Yell at you? Ignore you?"

          Mir blinked. Sure they did. It was normal... But..

          "Cheolyong. You're looking at everything in a very negative way and do you know why?"

          Mir shook his head, averting his eyes and stared at the floor.

          "This ring any bell?"

          Mir looked up and saw GO holding up his flip phone. His eyes widened. He thought he snapped that phone into half. How was it back in one piece? He tried to reach his phone but GO pulled away.

          "Sanghyun find this and ask me if I could fix it. Of course I can't but the store can. I was just checking it for any defect after the repair and I found these tabs." GO fumbled with the little gadget, opening the search history and a few tabs came up on the screen, filled with malicious comment on MBLAQ, mostly on Mir. "Why are you reading these blogs?"

          "I.. I... That is none of your business. This is privacy violation." Mir barked and lunged at GO, the steaming coffee fall on the floor, scattering into pieces of sharp glass and on the struggles, Mir's right foot stepped on the shard. But he didn't stop until he got his phone back, hugging it close to his chest.

          "Cheolyong!" GO scolded, noticing the incident. "Let me see your foot. Did you get cut?" He tried to grabbed on Mir's leg but Mir jumped up from the couch and limped a few steps away from GO.

          "Why can't you just stop acting like you care?" Mir screamed, tears streaming down his face. Both for emotional and physical pain.

          Mir limped back a few more steps until his back hit someone's chest. "We are not acting, Cheolyong. We do care."

          Mir gasped, limping to the side and his gaze locked with Seungho's sad gaze.

          "I'm sorry you can't see that." He shook his head in disappointment.

          "I can't see what is not even there." Mir whispered painfully. "If you care then you would not have exclude me, if you care then you should have noticed how hard I tried to work just to be on the same level as you. Do you even notice how sometimes I skip my meals for days because I was too sick to even go out for a proper meal? Do you even know how many times I injured myself just to get myself some recognition yet I am still being criticized? I dance until my muscle sore, my feet filled with blisters, my nails broke and even bleed. And you guys dare to say you still care? Yea right. You really do care."

          "What about us then?" Seungho half-shouted. "I broke my bones a few times because of dancing but I didn't get to rest because I have to keep the group running. I dance until I collapsed a few times, no one even see and know because I'm supposed to be the leader, the oldest and the strongest. If someone make mistake than it was all on me because I should have stop it in the first place because I'm the leader so I should be the wisest. You made mistake and I scold you for like what, five minutes? Then all the managers, the teachers, our boss yelled at me for not leading the group well. They even threatened me using you guys. Do you know how many times I was so desperate I plead to them, almost kneeling to them to give us chance and to spare you guys? I abandoned my pride for you!"

          Seungho heaved, his voice slowed down now.

          "Yes, it's my fault I didn't notice your pain. But have you ever noticed mine? Or the others? Byunghee was depressed, having narcolepsy he barely able to focus in his work but he hit himself, pinch himself, hurt himself to keep going. And Changsun was always pushed by two sides of his emotion. One time he was angry, one time he was sad to the point of considering suicide yet he smiled in front of the camera, he battled with the voice in his mind. And even Sanghyun. Every single night he had a nightmare. He had sleep cramp and he always wake up crying. Did you noticed that?"

          Mir swallowed. He heard a door creaked open and saw Joon being supported by Cheondoong standing by the open door to GO and Cheondoong's shared room. Mir glances at the others, soaking in all of Seungho's words and then he remembered, he was not the only one in pain.

          "I..." Mir's voice, though small, sounded so loud at this moment, in this space. "I should go." He limped towards the front door. It was midnight. It was raining outside. Mir was only in his thin wear, with wound on the sole of his right foot. Yet no one even able to stop him.

          With soft sound of door opening and closing, Mir left the dorm.

          And the world kept on turning. It didn't revolve around only one person. Tomorrow would still come.

@@@@@@@@@@

Mir limped along the pedestrian walk. It was empty. The rain was pouring heavily and soaked him to the bone. He knew he couldn't just kept walking aimlessly so he entered the closest 24 hours convenient store and sat at one of the round chair, hugging himself as the coldness intensified under the air conditioner in this store.

          With shivering body, clattering teeth, he took out his phone and scrolled down the contact list, pausing at Jinwoon's name but remembered that their last meet was filled with argument. He opted for Dongwoon instead. As he listening to the endless ring, he felt the pounding in his head getting louder and the room was spinning.

          "Hello?"

          "Dongwoon.." Was all Mir able to say before his small body crashed down on the floor, no longer responsive.