GO paced around the dorm, unable to calm his boiling rage. He was too angry he felt his face warm and if only he looked in the mirror, he would have noticed how red his face was. He stopped for a while, taking a few deep breath but then the anger just came jabbing at his chest again. He wanted to find something to release his anger. Some punching bag or somewhere isolated so he could scream his heart out. But of course, that was not possible.

          He was too drowned in anger, he didn't realized the sound of the front door opened and closed and came Cheondoong, grabbing his shoulder.

          He smacked the hand away, still blinded by anger but stopped when he noticed the tears wetting Cheondoong's eyes. "Hyung. Why didn't you answer your phone?" His voice was cracking with each word and the younger was shivering, looking so lost and scared.

          GO felt the anger seeped away and now was replaced by concern as he inhaled deeply and brought the skinny boy into an embrace. "What happened?"

          "Joonie hyung. J-Joonie hyung is in hospital." Cheondoong sobbed, clutching on the back of the black shirt GO was wearing, his taller frame hunched over GO's shorter one as he buried his face into the crook of GO's neck.

          "What?" GO pulled away, trying to make sure he didn't hear wrongly.

          "Seungho hyung called me. He said Joon hyung collapsed and he told me to look for you in the dorm. Eottoke, hyung? What if something happened to Joon hyung?" Cheondoong's voice sound like its belong to a small kid as he looked at GO with teary eyes.

          GO sighed, he was worried, but of course Cheondoong was more than worried considering he was really close to Joon and how Joon had been taking a good care of Cheondoong in place of Seungho and him who were too busy managing the group which was basically in racket at the early days of their debut. "Then, let's go. Which hospital is it?" GO took Cheondoong's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. After Cheondoong told him, he tugged Cheondoong out of the dorm and called a ride. He let Cheondoong clung on him along the journey, knowing Cheondoong needed it. After all, Cheondoong was just a year older than Mir, he was a kid himself.

          Once they reached the hospital, they saw Seungho pacing around in front of the room where Joon was resting in while mumbling something to himself. Closer, GO realized Seungho was holding his phone to his ear.

          "Seungho." GO called and Seungho stopped, looking towards him and there was hesitance in his eyes. GO sighed. Of course. He did yelled at Seungho before. He didn't mean to hurt his best friend though. Seungho meant a lot to him but he let the nerve get to him. "How is Changsun?"

          "Urm. He is sleeping. Doctor said it was a panic attack due to accumulated stress and fatigue. They will keep him overnight and he will be fine." Seungho explained. "Did..." Seungho swallowed, afraid to ask the question he had. "Did any of you know where...  Urm... Where Cheolyong is?"

          "Did you try calling him?" GO asked back.

          Seungho nodded once, looking once at the phone in his hand with a deep frown. "He won't pick up."

          GO looked at Seungho for a moment but turned back to Cheondoong, pushing the small of the younger one's back forwards towards the room. "Sanghyun, go and keep Changsun company." He told and smiled when Cheondoong shot him a suspicious look. "We won't fight, I promise." He assured what he knew was bugging the tall male.

          "Arasso..."

          GO watched Cheondoong entered the room and waited until the door close before he grabbed Seungho's hand, noticing the questioning look the leader bore. "Let's go to the canteen." He guided his same age friend to the almost empty canteen near the hospital lobby and sat Seungho at one of the table before he went off for a few minutes and came back with a pack of ice, handing it to Seungho. Seungho watched the cold pack in his hand with a rose brow. "For your cheek. It's bruising." GO pulled the chair across Seungho and sat down.

          "Oh. Komawo."

          GO nodded, watching Seungho for a short while. "You have an issue, did you know that?" He started again but his poker face gave away nothing.

          "What do you mean?"

          "You got angry easily, you blame people and you won't even apologize. I thought we talked about this. You are supposed to reconcile with Cheolyong, not pissing him off to the point he retorted with a punch." GO nagged.

          Seungho pouted sulkily. He never got mad at GO no matter how much the other one nagged at him. He just simply can't since GO had taken care of him a lot like, well, it would sound weird, but GO took care of him like a wife did to husband so he couldn't find in him to get mad at GO. The most he did was ignore GO for a few hours but he never raised his voice to GO, maybe that was why GO was the one to confront him about this.

          "Mir is just a kid, Seungho. He is from country even. Yes, he has his sisters and brother in law here, even his mom, but can't you see he is still so out of place. He looks so lonely each time I look at him. He needs us to be there for him as his hyungs but what did we do? What did you do?"

          "I know." Seungho sighed. "I know." He repeated weakly. "I want to be there for him but I don't know how to show him that I care."

          "Why don't... you know... start by stop insulting him." GO suggested sarcastically, not even care he might have hurt Seungho's feelings.

          "I... I didn't mean to. But he just riled me up." Seungho sat up. "He always find a way to make me mad."

          "Did he now?"

          "Can't you see how he talked back to me?"

          "That's because you started it!" GO slammed his palm onto the table. "You are the leader, Seungho. I know Jihoon hyung want you to be stern in disciplining us and put a lot of burden on your shoulder as a leader but that was way out of the line. Cheolyong is just a kid. He didn't deserve such treatment."

          "Then, why didn't you do anything to stop me?" Seungho gave a low blow and that shut GO up. They stared at each other for a while. "Have you treat him the way you said he deserved?"

          GO bit his lips, looking away.

          "I know I'm wrong but none of us did the right thing anyway."

          GO sighed. "You are right. We're too busy taking care of ourselves we didn't even bother acting like the eldest. We didn't take care of our dongsaengs. I'm glad at least Changsun paid Sanghyun his attention. But then Changsun himself..." GO trailed off, closing his eyes in frustration at the thought of their struggling dongsaeng.

          "It just happened that Cheolyong miss our sight. Changsun too." Seungho repented. "I wonder where is he..." His words was no question as he stared off to the distance. He could have done better. He knew he could..

          "I hope it is still not too late for us to fix this up. Maybe I should go look for him?" GO sat up at his own suggestion.

          "Changsun need us now."

          GO sunk back in his seat. "I know."

@@@@@@@@@@@

Mir walked out from the building of the company. He hadn't even went back to the practice room after all that happened. He walked briskly down the pedestrian walk, heading towards the bus stop.

          He had one destination in mind as he sat on the bench at the bus stop, waiting for his ride. He looked at his wrist watch, hoping the bus would come faster but he still had another 15 minutes before his ride came so he took out his phone and earphone, plugging it to his ears and the first voice greeted him belong to MBLAQ members.

          Mir gritted his teeth, hitting the button to play the next song but of course his playlist is full of MBLAQ songs. Mir ripped his earphone off, raising his hand as if he wanted to throw his phone into the road and that was what he would really do if a mellow voice didn't interrupt him.

          "Want to hear this song together?"

          Mir jolted back, snapping his head to the side. He didn't even notice there was someone else there other than himself. He looked at the figure, immediately recognizing the petite frame despite it was being drowned in large white shirt and loose jeans and suspenders hanging over the small shoulders and a cap covering half of her face.

          "IU-shi?" Mir asked and the female smiled at her stage name.

          Instead of answering, she handed out one of her earpieces towards Mir.

          Mir took it slowly and put it into his ear, soft strung of the guitar greeted him instantly, followed by a deep voice humming such a slow melodic voice. The song sounded like an old ballad but it worked a wonder through Mir's stormy heart.

          IU stayed quiet, his small body swayed side by side slightly at the melody and when she glanced at Mir, her smile widened as she saw Mir closing his eyes, enjoying the sound. All the rage, anger and hurt she saw before somehow faded away.

I cried wandering around alone in the dark

All the memories were coming back to me

When the lights under the empty sky start to twinkle

I quietly call out the name of my old love

When the cold wind blows and I pull my collar up

I regret and get angry, my tears fall down

I thought it wouldn’t hurt even if somebody asked me about the past

Was it all a lie?

Now all the things I miss, I’ll keep it in my heart

Just as I let it be whenever you come to my mind

When the white snow falls, I wander in the fields

The go back to that road, in search of old love

White snow covers up the streets of Gwanghawamun

And the white snows drifts high in the sky

Now all the things I miss, I’ll keep it in my heart

Just as I let it be whenever you come to my mind

Sometimes we get fed up with love

The loneliness overflows in my heart

On a slushy spring day, on green leaf

There my old love remains for eternity

White snow covers up the streets of Gwanghawamun

And the white snows drifts high in the sky

          Mir enjoyed until the last of the guitar and the ending echoes of the singer's voice before opening his eyes again, somewhat feeling melancholy as the song finish.

          "It's a great song isn't it?" IU broke the silence.

          Mir nodded.

          "Old love."

          "Humm?"

          "This song is Old Love by Lee Moonsae sunbaenim." IU explained with a soft smile. "Isn't this song really relatable?"

          Mir frowned. "Do I look like I have love problem?" Mir narrowed his eyes at IU but his heart calmed almost immediately at the giggles escaping those red lips and he watched the small little girl in wonder.

          He had met IU a few times, in shows, at the backstage, at the end of a grand concert, but he was never that close to this girl. She was a close friend to Cheondoong but not him. He usually just watched IU and Cheondoong's interaction from far without any thought and why would IU came to his side now?

          "Old love." IU whispered softly. "Did you know what an old love meant for people like us?" IU asked. "The stage." IU revealed. "It hurts but it is something we can't give up on."

          Mir felt the words spoken hit him deep as he blinked idiotically.

          "Mir oppa. What I said is actually what Sanghyun oppa said to me. His old love is the stage. Just like many of us, I'm sure." IU paused, staring into Mir's deep brown eyes. Her deep dark pool of brown eyes stripped Mir within. "You are not the only one hurting." She said and stood up. "Instead of indulging in your pain, why don't you look around, learn the other's pain as well. Maybe it was different kind of pain but at the end of the day, you'll see, it is similar after all. Then you will understand you are not alone."

          "How did you-"

          "Sanghyun oppa told me a lot." IU cut Mir off with a meaningful smile. "I know it is painful. We got fed up with it. I have gone through pain and still am. But I don't give up. I hope you won't too." IU put the phone in his pocket. "Anyway, I guess today is not the right time to meet Sanghyun oppa. I'll come again some other time. I should go now." She was about to leave when she was halted by Mir's voice.

          "If it hurts this much. We can bury it down right? After all, it was just an old love." Mir stood up as he saw his bus coming closer.

          IU watched Mir turned and enter the bus until the bus left and she let out a deep sigh. "Old love is not all pain." She whispered into the thin air, hoping Mir would understand one day.

          It was not all about pain.